blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: When I Was A Child DEA Agent

8.02.2007

When I Was A Child DEA Agent


One of my favorite moments as a junior high kid was when my family was spending the weekend at our trailer on a hill overlooking Lake Bridgeport. (Go ahead, read that again. Yep, I said "trailer".) Anyway, we spent a lot of time in the back yard area underneath shade trees just looking at the lake.

At one point my mom began noticing a car about a quarter of a mile away make its way down to the shore. A couple of guys got out and walked into the woods. They would stay for a while and then leave.

This happened maybe three times over a week at which point my mom made a bold statement: "I bet they're growing dope down there!"

Being a wise guy even back then, I immediately ridiculed her. She was quick to defend her position and suggested that me, her, and my brother walk down into that wooded area and check it out. I jumped at the chance.

We made our way down the hill and along the shore of Lake Bridgeport until we came to the wooded area. We walked in, and, I'll be [expletive deleted], there were four rows of marijuana plants and a bottle of "Miracle Grow". Of course, we didn't know what marijuana plants looked like, but you just don't see a nice little garden of green plants in the middle of no where.

So what did we do? Heck, we couldn't let those boys come back and harvest their marijuana and ruin their lives. So we pulled it up.

I still laugh at the following sight. I've got both arms extended as I held about 20 big uprooted marijuana plants. And I'm just walking along the shore with my my mom. My brother, once we got out in the open, took off running like lightening.

"Where are you going?" we yelled.

I still remember his reply as his voice trailed off in the distance. "You can go to jail for two ounces and you guys are walking along with two pounds!" Genius.

I eventually threw all the plants in the lake, but we kept one. Dad took it into town the next day to show to the chief of police to confirm it was marijuana. (It was.) He brought it back the next day and for some reason we just kept it on the back porch in a small bucket full of water.

Good times.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude, ya'll ruined my summer.

Anonymous said...

Brother shouldn't have run. Even at that sweet, young clean and tender age, I'd bet you could've gotten yourself and Ma off.

Anonymous said...

Nice, really nice. You and your brother wrecked some guy's science project.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand...How could your dad take the plant to the sheriff's office and not get in any kind of trouble? or atleast not get it confiscated?

Anonymous said...

Have you ever pulled up marijiuana plants on WEED?

Anonymous said...

I bet once you were in high school the pot plant mysteriously dissapeared off of the porch, and there was a huge flume of smoke coming out of you bedroom window as you had put a towel down under the door so the smoke would go out the window instead of down the hall.

Collectionsite said...

Barry back then I remember the cops would make you do the "pot Shuffle" if they caught you with weed.

You would have to dump in on the ground and twist it into the ground. And thats if they didnt take it for themselves.

ah .. The good ole days.

Anyway ... Thats what I heard that happened back then :)

Think Frustrated said...

Your dad smoked it. I would've kept it all.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure you weren't at Hippy Ridge?

Anonymous said...

Obviously someone on the blog ain't to familiar with Officer Walter Dale of the Bport Police Dept....may he rest in peace.

Wait...I read he passed away in the WCM...so who knows, he may be out cruising 380 as we speak.

Anonymous said...

I'm sitting here literally laughing out loud. Your brother must have REALLY been scared, because I had NEVER heard this story before...LOL

"Clarence" Bport class of '75

Anonymous said...

What is the statute of limitations on drug offenses? I think we may have a arrest here, boys. To the donut shop!

Denney Crane said...

I'm sure BC would not appreciate this particular story...especially the part about keeping the plant in water on the back porch...was that when GB smoked a pipe?

Anonymous said...

Hello,

I'm Dr. Whydonchacutyourcockoff from Poleland and my studies have many times shown that people who smoke marijuana tend to write long laborious accounts of their past unbeknownst to them because in their minds they beleive time is passing by at a rate which seems normal to them but in reality is moving at a much slower pace becuz of much introduction of marijuana into their bodies causing a misinterpretation of time as they see it.

Anonymous said...

You freakin pot growing Hippie, I bet you're on the dope right now aren't you punk. That rock and or roll music is ruining this generation. Dang Beatles. Expect a citizens arrest if I ever see you again young man.

Anonymous said...

11:53

GB...pipe...I think I peed a little I laughed so hard.

Anonymous said...

I've got the munchies.

Anonymous said...

i think bg used that plant to get that cutie in is profile pic stone where she would go on vacation with him.but then again mabe it was his good looks r money.who knows

Anonymous said...

She's hangin' with him because he's got a genuine Bridgeport High School diploma...and all his adult teeth.

Anonymous said...

7:30 did i hit a nerve are u the cutie in the pic.

Anonymous said...

Barry, what chief of police was close to Chico where u lived. That had have to been that Arrington guy before Whitehead took the reigns.

Annie Jokely said...

heeheee, you've got cousins that would have gladly helped you, umm, identify and harvest that stuff...puff puff pass.