blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: 3/9/08 - 3/16/08

3.14.2008

Girl Doesn't Let Boyfriend Look At Cheerleaders

Allow me to translate for those that don't speak mexican: "That boy better get control of his scene right now. If it's this bad when you're dating, she'll gouge your eyes out once you get married. Uh, and don't forget the new Triple Supreme Burrito at Taco Bell. Hola, salsa lovers!'

Somebody . . .

. . . emailed me wanting to promote this event that's happening in Wise County. I really wasn't interested until I found the above pic on the website. If a boy dragging a pig isn't clean, healthy fun then what is?

Reader Free For All

Today I've been sent links to:

- This kinky sex story (which is not the way I will spend my weekend.)
- This video of a lady having a bad day at the salad wagon.
- This video involving a Grand Central Station prank.
- This video involving a Canadian brother and sister who are denied their incestuously love. (Pseudo?)
- And this photo from an I-Phone (actually a couple of days ago.)

Hey, I'm not saying they are all great, but I would feel guilty if I just ignored everybody.

Edit: I think I got the links straightened out now.

Afternoon Background Music Of Limited Interest

So I just got through reading a Dallas Morning News' review of R.E.M.'s show at SXSW two days ago in Austin. The story ended with, "You can hear the complete concert at www.npr.org." Well, I'll be. You can.

And Another

We really have been deprived of the salacious details between this 28 year old and her 14 year old paramour, but there's enough to go on.

First, there are some things that creep me out: The thin, tricked up eyebrows; a ruddy complexion; and a look on her face that just screams, "I'll &^%$ you up if you call the police!!!!" But the last trait kind of turns me on. So it all kind of cancels out.

Verdict: Probation. But I'll make it a long five year one so as not to appear "soft on crime." I'm trying to send a message to other teachers out there.

Next case.

(Thanks emailer Tad.)

Edit: Updated picture. Small but hot.

German Invasion


Several reports indicate that the big German guy that plays for the Dallas Mavericks (whose window of opportunity, by the way, has closed) will be buying this fixer-upper in Dallas.

New Spin Material


Paradise has a new newspaper. (And even a URL but with no website.)

Although the first issue sets a trend: Put the name of every kid in Paradise in the paper. (Heck, it works for Dave Campbell's Texas Football.)

Friday Morning Pick Me Up

I would buy anything these girls were selling.

Friday Morning Observations

-It's been over two years since this happened, but a judge found the girl above (the one who is face down and kissing the concrete in Deep Ellum) not guilty yesterday.
- Did you notice that gas prices are insane? Dumb question. Have they ever been higher? I don't think so (but I can't recall what they were last year at their peak.)
- My Bush Tragedy book is really good. I didn't know Karl Rove's mom committed suicide and his dad turned-a-gay and ran off when he was a kid. (Not that that's a "good" thing, but it is a tidbit I didn't know.)
- Well Baylor lost in the first round of the Big 12 tournament proving they don't want to be invited to the NCAA Tourney. But bids are announced on the Sabbath, so they've got that going for them.
- Hypothetically, I had a client ask me over the last month if I truly believed him. Amazingly, I've never had that happen before.

3.13.2008

In Honor Of 80 Degree Friday

For Our One Canada Reader

"Rob Leth from the Global Television Network in Canada" Edit: Sheesh, it's been removed. And I'm not real sure why. It was just a reporter getting run over by a sled but doing the most amazing 360 degree flip before coming down. Edit: As others have done in the comments, here's a new link.

As I sit in the Fort Worth hearing room for driver's license suspensions for the third time in as many days, I noticed (in a day old paper) that former Bridgeport coach Tina Slinker has been fired at UNT.

They Just Keep Coming

Story.

With all the nutty stories this week, I'm reminded of a funny moment between me and my dad last Christmas.

Me (softly, deadpan and looking off in the distance): "When did the world go crazy?"
Dad (softly, deadpan and also looking off in the distance): "I don't know."

(Thanks emailer Gigi.)

Random Morning Observations


- If you want to see an alleged DWI driver crash into a Dallas Sheriff's car, violently, go here.
- The Today Show has a Q&A with a call girl that is fairly interesting.
- I got a Susan B. Anthony dollar back as change the other day fron a convenience store. I hate the Susan B. Anthony dollar
- The Big 12 Basketball Tournament begins today. Good times. Not good times, however, for my Lady Bears who were upset by the Evil Empire yesterday. But I love this quote from Baylor's coach: "If I wasn't so young in my career, I'd resign tonight." Preach on, sister.
- Over the last week, we've had pretty white college girls murdered in North Carolina and Alabama. Arrests have been made of black guys in both cases. This won't help race relations.
- For all you knuckleheads that think that one snowstorm absolutely disproves global warming, does the death of 12 soldiers in 3 days in Iraq mean The Surge is not working?
- I think Geraldine Ferraro got a raw deal. But I appreciate how she didn't back down (despite resigning.}
- I'm now reading The Bush Tragedy.
- I got stopped in Decatur yesterday by a guy I represented in a court case as a court appointment a few years back. I managed to get him probation for meth but he told me he screwed it up and ended up with a seven year sentence. He's obviously out now and sounds like he is doing well. (Although getting a job has to be hard.)

3.12.2008

The Vixen That Brought Down Gov. #9

Maybe. (Source.)

Edit: Confirmed. And this 22 year old girl is gonna turn this bit into a trainload of cash.




Mouth Open. Eyes Staring At Screen.


And the headline might want to clarify that she was dead while sitting on said toilet --- holy crap ---- not dead after all!!! [That, my friends, is one crazy story.]

(And on another note, but perhaps more shocking, was this story today in Dallas which I'm sure you've heard about already.)

And Another

Due to the fact I've got to run to Fort Worth and haven't even read the story, I'll just vote for probation. The facts can't possibly be bad enough to incarcerate this fine girl who probably just made a horrible mistake.

Next case.

More Bulletin Board Fun

Debuted Today

www.hulu.com Edit: Yeah, I knew it had been around for few months (at least the news told me that) but today you don't have to register to view all that stuff.

Unavoidably Detained

I'm in a CPS mediation - trying to work out custody and visitation in a case with some unusual facts. I'm court appointed to represent the mother. Not good times.

But I get to read the bulletin board during down time.

3.11.2008

Look Familiar?


Answer.

(Thanks emailer.)

Three Chicks On My Desk


Not quite what I had in mind today. But, yep, someone (Amberly) stopped by to surprise me with her newest acquisition.

I'd Get Tasered For $40,000

Which is what this guy got according to the news today. (The taser is about 2 1/2 minutes into it.)

Craziest Headline Ever?


Story.

Meet Fred And Sharon

They produce videos. But I couldn't really concentrate on their product (which, based upon the editing of the commercial, is probably fantastic) because of Sharon's hotness. Sign me up.

The Good Stuff Is Always Buried

"Love" County? Escaped with a "female jailer"? Good times.

Random Morning Thoughts

- I'm not offended that Gov. Eliot Spitzer of New York got caught in a prostitution sting, I'm offended that he paid $4,000 to $5,000 an hour on a hooker. - And during his 30 second press conference yesterday (which has been replayed a million times), I can actually hear a cell phone go off in vibrate mode. Drives me crazy every time. - And speaking of hookers, only the media calls the customers "Johns." - Crazy murder/suicide last night of a high profile black couple in Dallas. (And, for what it's worth, the shooter published this blog yesterday.) - Fog is cool. - A treasurer for a high school volleyball team near Austin takes $15,000 from the team but pays it back quickly. The story then appears in the Austin American Statesman. DA John Bradley (who may be the most arrogant prosecutor in the state) reads the story and decides to pursue felony charges even those all of those involved had handled it "in house". - The Space Shuttle (a program which needs to be retired) fired off into space at 2:30 a.m. central time last night. - I hate that "Welcome Back" song that TXU plays in all of its commercials. (And, yes, I know its from the old sitcom.) - I finished Slaughterhouse Five and it was, in a word, great. I'm not a fan of science fiction, and I'm not real sure this qualifies as a science fiction book, but any novel that concerns itself with time travel, free will, true history, and the Crucifixion will get my attention.

3.10.2008

Hey, Now


Random mugshot from The Smoking Gun.

War On Drugs ---- I Give Up My AntiWar


You make the call.

Basic law: If you possess between 1 and 4 grams of dope, the range of punishment is that of a Third Degree Felony (2 to 10 years in the pen.) To wrap your brain around that, a gram is the equivalent of a Sweet N Low packet.

Bonus law: If you commit the above offense but previously had been convicted of any felony and gone to the pen, got out, got convicted of another felony and sent to the pen again (regardless of the type of felonies and regardless of the length of the sentences) then you can be "Enhanced" to a "Habitual Offender." The new range of punishment for what had been a Third Degree is now no less than 25 years and no more than Life. Absent a plea bargain, the jury gets to pick that number.

So . . . a guy in Tyler gets caught with a whopping 1.46 grams of meth (not exactly Pablo Escobar), but he has the unfortunate background of being sent to the pen twice before.

So the jury says ...............Answer.

Yeah, yeah. Sure he's a "loser" and he "broke the law" but, in the end, it was 1.46 grams of dope.

I'd Love To See A Mike Synder vs. Jane McGarry Fight Like This

As I Was Up At The Crack Of Dawn . . .



. . . on Sunday, I snapped these pics. Not that they are earthshaking, but the sky was beautiful. Although the telephone polls in the background weren't exactly the accent I was looking for.

Patriots Hold Cheerleader Try-Outs


Boston Globe runs pic of belly button "ring" along with other photos.

Wise County citizens plea with Joe Duty to follow suit (not with a belly ring but with tricked up pictures.)

Sportzzz


- The Aggies and the Razorbacks have agreed to a 10 year deal to play in the new Cowboys stadium. Cool. (I haven't driven by that stadium in a year but I heard it's massive.)
- With a win over Tech on Saturday, Baylor should make the NCAA tournament. It'll be the first time in 20 years. And, yeah, it'l probably just be a one-and-done appearance, but it'll be weird to see the Bears' name on all the brackets.
- Most random of salary notes: Boston Red Sox reliever Jonathan Papelbon agreed to a one year deal last week. Is he good? You bet. He had 37 of 40 saves last year with a 1.85 ERA. He also saved 3 of the 4 World Series games for the Red Sox. So his salary for next year? $750,000. Yep. That's it. Baseball players make a ton of money as free agents, but unfortunately for Papelbon, he's two young to be a free agent. That comes in two years. (As comparison, his back-up, who almost got booed out of Boston last year because he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, made $6,000,000.)

Some Laws Even I've Never Heard Of



Breast feeding scandal in Denton. World stops turning. But mom is kind of hot.

Snow Talk


So the morning courthouse conversation brought up this issue: One fine lady on the second floor proclaimed that Decatur had more snow in either 1987 or 1988 than this weekend. I was working in Dallas back then so I couldn't refute it. I doubted it, but couldn't back it up.

Unavoidabley Detained This Weekend

- I really hate moving the clocks forward. It happens every year at just about the time I'm comfortable waking up early. - Stumbled across real guys playing tackle football with pads on at Pennington Stadium on Sunday. Something called "The American Eightman Football League." - I watched Eastern Promises. It's kinda good. - I noticed three knuckleheads decided to go canoing (sp?) last night on the Parker/Wise County line and had to be rescued. - I'm reading Slaughterhouse Five (nope, never read it before.) - This video isn't as good as the "Don't Have Maps/Such As" video, but it's pretty good.