blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: 7/23/06 - 7/30/06

7.29.2006

For College Football Fans Only

I learned today of a new college football rule to take effect this year. Under the old rules, the clock was stopped after every first down and didn't start until the official placed the ball on the ground and then backed off an blew the whistle. Under the new rule, the clock will start at the moment the official places the ball on the ground. Somewhere, a quarterback will be oblivious to the rule change. Edit: I may have to back off on this since I could be wrong. There is a rule change but I'm getting conflicting info.

7.28.2006

Blah, Blog, Blah

(You may have to click on the graphic to enlarge it.) The Dallas Morning News, which has no idea how to handle the invasion of the Internet, tries hard to be hip by having a variety of its own "blogs." Most of them are incredibly boring - sounding as if they have been censored by a roomful of 60 year old editors. But things are changing. This post, uploaded shortly after the Cowboys opening press conference, breaks the rules by taking a shot at Jerry Jones for misusing the word "embellishment." You won't see that in the print edition of the Morning News. And that's why more and more people aren't shelling out 50 cents to buy the Morning News. The media is changing. Fast. And I'm fascinated by it.

Sucker Punch as seen on Friday's Fox4News


Oh, my.

News Anchors Do Not Like Silly Pranks

A prank was played a couple of days ago on an anchor of the Fox affiliate in New York City. It's pretty big on the Internet today, and mildly amusing. If only it had been Lari Barager.

Consistency . . .

. . . in the criminal justice system is a very elusive concept.

Lindsay Lohan Is A Bad Girl

Well, maybe a bad employee. The Smoking Gun has the letter.

A Dallas Morning News Movie Review Begins With:

Uh, no. I don't.

"Take Us To DEFCON . . . Uh . . . Where'd Everybody Go?"

My Future Wife

Yeah, I know this is a repost, but it may be my favorite video.

Happy 34th To Elizabeth Berkley

The Cowboys Open Camp Today With A Press Conference at 2:00 p.m.

But it's the college game that will always get my attention. And I already dislike this couple.

Important Friday Questions

(1) Is the more appropriate name for the last meal of the day "dinner" or "supper"? For some reason, I refuse to utter the word "supper". (2) Hypothetically, if someone you see two or three times a week were to get, uh, an augmentation of the, uh, upper front of her body, uh, should you ignore it or comment it upon it when you first see her? (These are actual questions I have been confronted with in the last 24 hours. I have to solve lots of problems)

7.27.2006

Hero

The lady that was kidnapped this weekend (and ended up driving that big rig across the Southwest Proper on its rims) was all over the TV today. Some folks asked if she considered herself a "hero." Not a chance. My standard of "hero" is so high that I'm not sure many people ever achieve it.

Hot Sports Opinion

I was down in my Sports Laboratory tonight after learning that former UT quarterback Vince Young had signed a contract with the Tennessee Titans that guarantees him $25.7 million. And I came up with this: Vince Young will be an NFL failure. Not because he isn't a tremendous athlete (I've often said he's the greatest college player ever), but because there is not an NFL coach or NFL offensive coordinator with the guts to throw out everything they've ever learned and design an offense specifically for this guy. Print this out and put it in your wall safe. You'll pull it out in a few years and realize that I am a sports genius.

So Odd

So I'm at a grocery store in Fort Worth this evening (dont' ask), all set to go in and get some chicken and 96/4 hamburger meat. I don't get out of the car immediately because I'm laughing at something on "The Ticket's Top Ten" on the radio. Give me a couple of minutes and the segment would rap up. But I look to my left and see a guy sitting in this van. I wonder if he's listening to the same thing I am. We both sit there listening to the radio. So I finally get out of my car and am surprised to hear the refrains of Billy Idol's "White Wedding" blaring from the guy's van. What the heck? He's sitting in the car listening to that? So I give him the benefit of the doubt and think he's probably brain dead from the wife and kids who are presumably in the store while he waits. I'll give the guy a break. It may be his only peace and quiet for the next 10 days. But I come out of the grocery store fifteen minutes later and the van is there but he's gone. (So I take a picture of it.) I would never sit in a van. I would never delay my schedule to listen to "White Wedding." I pray I never sit in a van listening to "White Wedding."

Casablanca

Huh?: Yet another movie I rented because I felt I needed to see it. Was I Excited To See It?: Not a chance. Put it in the DVD player, pushed "play", and was prepared to be bored senseless. Was I Bored?: Not a chance. This movie was very good and surprisingly smartly written. Confused?: Yep, I had to research why in the heck Casablanca in Africa was under the control of the French. What I Didn't Know: There are about 10 memorable lines in this movie, most of which I had no idea were attributable to the movie. And the music made me think about "When Harry Met Sally".

Seventh Inning Stretch

That allegation could certainly hurt his second job.

John Stossel Gets B Slapped

This is from a 20/20 segment in 1984. It's still shocking.

Twice In Once Week?

In light of the Andrea Yates' verdict, it'll be interesting to watch the Tarrant County trial going on right now about a Keller woman accused of killing her girl. Yep, it's the insanity defense. Edit: Heard on the radio last this afternoon that she was found guilty.

Terrell Owens Has A MySpace Page

Come on, be T.O.'s friend. Or not.

If He Wasn't Famous Before, He Will Be Now

I really don't care too much about this, but it is big news. He tested positive on the day that he made up a bunch of minutes to take the lead for good - that seemed superhuman at the time, and I guess it was. And what's weird is that no one can find him now.

Playground Idiocy

I hope the kids weren't hurt. (Youtube.com video here.)

Disturbing

I always check out "Yahoo's Most Emailed Photos" but this morning there is a very disturbing picture among the twenty that are on the first page. It bears this caption: A relative looks at the bodies of Shahd Okal, 8 months, right, and her sister Maria, 5, at the morgue of Kamal Edwan hospital in Beit Lahiya in the northern Gaza Strip, Wednesday, July 26, 2006. Shahd and Maria where killed when an Israeli artillery shell landed on their house, Palestinian hospital officials said. (AP Photo/Adel Hana) The picture shows no "relative" but does show two dead children on a slab. That can't possibly be the photo that was intended to be posted by Yahoo.

7.26.2006

NFL Training Camps Begin This Week

Here's my twin, Jerry Porter of the Oakland Raiders, arriving at camp today.

Dog Days Of Summer

Looks like we have a very reasonable resolution to the Wise County dog hoarding case. (Star Telegram story)

I'm So Confused

Before you jump to conclusions, this is part of a photo shoot by Sports Illustrated involving the offensive lineman of Troy University. Why? I have no idea. (Other than the title of shoot was "Team Bonding".) Hey, now.

Scarlett (Just Because It's Wednesday)

Incredibly Random Thought

The parking lot of the 7-11 in north Fort Worth at Western Center Boulevard and I-35 causes me to be suffer from claustrophobia.

When Christina's Sad, I'm Sad

He Still Looks Big To Me

Sooner runningback Adrian Peterson is big and fast. But the photo on the right (which has been circulating around the Internet by college football fans) had been photoshopped. The left picture is the actual one. But it had the orange bloods a little nervous.

Who Knows When . . .

. . . she will be released from a mental health facility (her case is reviewed annually), but this headline is wildly wrong.

Oh My

Verdict: Not Guilty By Reason Of Insanity (No link yet, and I've got to go to Jacksboro). Stories will eventually be here.

I'm Tearing Down My N'Sync Poster

Lake Bridgeport Normally 836

Now at 822 (and dropping).

What Talks?

Condi is over there to do nothing but window dress. We support Israel. We want them to bomb Hezbollah until they are wiped out. Every other nation wants an "immediate cease fire". Just what exactly was she over there to resolve?

World Trade Center

The much despised Oliver Stone has created a new movie call "World Trade Center" starring Nicholas Cage. Conservative WBAP radio host Mark Davis saw it last night at a special screening and, this morning, called it a "masterpiece."

Not A Big Deal, But How Did Every Media Outlet Miss This?

Story.

7.25.2006

Beating?

TV Land

So as I flipped by the channels tonight, I came across an episode of "Three's Company." It reinforced a very important fundamental belief I have always held: That show was the worst TV show in the history of ever. I don't know what it will be, but I'll watch Decatur High School's "One Act Play" next year for 50 times in a row before I make the mistake of watching this sitcom again.

Name The Coach Most Likely To Be Like NASCAR

Here's the latest on how to dress for success if you're a Big 12 football coach [at the Big 12 Media Days currently going on] ... Nebraska's Bill Callahan: Adidas Nebraska coaches' shirt and dress pants. Baylor's Guy Morriss: Suit and tie. Kansas State's Ron Prince: Coat and tie. Texas Tech's Mike Leach: Under Armour shirt and sports jacket with khakis. Leach also wore an Under Armour pin on his jacket lapel and proceeded to talk about the incredible virtues of Under Armour. Needless to say Tech has switched from Nike to Under Armour this season. (Source). There is no odder coach in America than Mike Leach.

Lindsay Lohan at Jeremy Piven's (of "Entouage") birthday party (07/23/06)

From the looks of it, the girl is going a bit nuts.

Speaking of Fox News

These numbers (in thousands) are incredible. Suddenly, I'm very depressed. Source.

I Try To Avoid Fox News . . .

. . . but this reporter might make me change my mind. (Discovered her today when she was recognized for her beauty although I'm sure she does fine work). But she's no Helen Thomas.

Jenny McCarthy and Her Sisters (Just Because)

I'm Not Even As Tall As The Guy On The Right

This very odd site dedicated to Bigfoot in Texas, says there has been one reported sighting of Bigfoot in Wise County. (Map at bottom of page.) I'm betting it was in the Frilly's parking lot at 2:10 a.m.

Find The Offensive Name

Link.

A Question I Heard This Morning

If you live in the same area as your parents, do you knock before you enter? If you knock, at what age did you start knocking?

My Favorite Protester

(Source)

Get Out Your Ethical Dilemma Meter

The Star-Telegram has a story of a 13 year old in Dubin, Texas who was allegedly raped in May. One month later she decides to consider an abortion and, this is where is gets tricky, a Dubin police officer drove the girl and her family to the clinic purportedly "to collect any remains as evidence." The police chief is catching heat. A couple of quotes: - "We want to know whether the Dublin police are in the abortion business." - "If we didn't take them, they might wind up having the abortion in a back room at somebody's home, and the victim might suffer even more," the chief said.

7.24.2006

Best Line About Yesterday's "Big Chase"

DMN reporter Richard Abshire sums up the differing chase policies of Dallas Police Department and DPS: "Dallas cops radio in that they're about to run out of gas. State troopers radio in that they're about about to run out of ammo." (Source)

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Movie Talk

  • 'Pirates of the Caribbean' was #1 at the box office for the third week in a row earning $35 million to bring its total to $321 million. That sets a new record for topping $300 million in just 16 days.
  • 'Monster House' was second in its opening weekend with $23 million
  • 'Lady in the Water' was #3 with $18.2 million.
  • 'You Me and Dupree' hung around at #4 in its second week
  • 'Clerks 2' was next with a disappointing $9.6 million in its debut.

The odd thing is that everyone I talk to that has seen 'Pirates' says, "It's kinda confusing."

"You're With Me, Leather"

I'm a little late to the party on this one, but the phrase "You're with me, Leather" is becoming quite the pop culture phenomenon. The phrase is a pick-up line reportedly used on a lady wearing leather pants by ESPN anchor Chris Berman in Scottsdale, Arizona. Wikipedia even has an entry about it. Fox Sports Southwest, as the screen shot shows, has joined the party.

Two Important Graphics . . .

. . . from ABC's World News Tonight

Odd

Amazon.com sells a three page article by Bill Parcells for $6.00. You gotta be kidding.

Traffic Jam

Highway 287 (northbound) was shutdown by DPS in Rhome this evening (at least it was at 6:30) and it was a mess. The troopers were diverting the traffic on 287 to the service road that would lead past Dairy Queen AND the traffic coming from 114 was diverted to the same service road. From what I saw, traffic was backed up for a mile. I'm not sure what the problem was. I saw two trooper cars and two DOT trucks underneath the bridge that runs over 287 between Dairy Queen and the convenience store that houses Grandy's. I didn't see any remnants of a crash and there didn't appear to be a fuel spill. But I could be wrong.

OK, It's A Post For The Ladies (So They'll Stop Calling Me A Pig)

This is Matthew McSomebody.

Hey, Even Jesus Got Mad At The Money Changers

Baylor coach Guy Morriss was shootin' straight when he let his feelings be known about the Bears being picked last in the Big 12 preseason media poll. "Well, it kind of P.O.ed me to be honest about it," Morriss said. (Source) And the fact that the Bears have finished last since the Big 12 was created may have something to do with the prediction.

Lady In The Water

I saw it Saturday afternoon (big thumbs up to the Bedford's Movie Tavern off of Central on Airport Freeway - I'd never been there before). The Plot: A sea nymph (who isn't hot) turns up at an apartment complex in Philadelphia. All the residents team up to help her get back home by way of a giant eagle. The Real Plot: I wasn't kidding. That's the real plot. Suspending Disbelief: Not a single person in the apartment complex suggests that the sea nymph is just a nutcase on crack. Suspending Disbelief #2: No one turns on a television or a radio and I feel pretty comfortable in saying no one picks up a telephone. Worth Seeing: I'm still not sure.

The Optical Illusion . . .

. . . jackpot.

Tara Reid Is . . .

. . . smoking, drinking, and (gasp) eating fried food in the background.

Miss Universe Pageant

I watched just a little bit of the pageant last night (read: swim suit competition), but what I saw was very confusing. One of the commentators was extremely gay and was trying to throw down some extremely gay humor (i.e. "She's hot enough for me to want to change teams.") And then they introduced the judges and one of them was Emmitt Smith. Off.
Shark Jump
I'm not sure what is in his mouth.