Above The Fold

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It's Friday. Let's Get Out Of Here.

 My week in a nutshell.
 Quality comedy, sir. Quality comedy.

 "Leave me alone. It took a lot of work to get in here. I'm napping."
 Double Fake Mrs. Greg Louganis
If this guy didn't say, "Hold my beer",
I don't know America any longer. 

Sweet Home, Alabama

She left out the RIght to Troll Malls as an 32 year old assistant D.A. for teenage girls. I think that's in the Second Amendment, but I'll have to double check. That law stuff is really hard.

Dogs vs. Cats

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

  • There apparently was a big time Democrat contributing Texas lawyer, Steven Mostyn, who passed away due to suicide. He was 46. He has a Wikipedia page and it is not flattering.  I had never heard of him. 
  • This is an example of the stupid exchanges I have with Mrs. LL. Yesterday, she thought that we should get a French Bulldog. My reply:
  • Odd trivia: In Talladega Nights, that line only appears in the DVD and cable versions. The released version in theaters had a line about raising Komodo dragons. Odd.
  • Roy Moore is dumb. He doesn't understand what contitutes "evidence." And this guy is a lawyer and served on the Alabama Supreme Court until being removed against his will. Twice.
  • I had the weirdest moment yesterday in the Wise County Courthouse. And it might be on security video. I'd tell you more about it, but I can't. Let me just say it ended up with torn up paperwork. 
  • Minnesota might, and I stress "might", boot Al Fraken on this new scandal in the next election. They probably should. But I bet Alabama will elect Moore. The South is still the South. 
  • The ending to Moore's press conference was gold when some woman got up to field questions, Moore walked off, and the woman ended it with her saying "I paid for this microphone" and "I appreciate you coming because you probably got more church than you have in the last ten years."  I think I'm going to make "Got More Church?" a bumper sticker in honor of the old, "Got Milk?" phrase.
  • The only comfort I have that Trump has the nuclear codes is that there is no way he will be able to punch them in without screwing it up.
  • This is bizarre: "Police in the Collin County city of Princeton have arrested four people in a murder-for-hire plot of a single mother stemming from a love triangle."
  • It's been a hard year for The Family Unit and dogs. Yet, this made me laugh yesterday:

  • You know who benefits greatly from Trump's Tax Plan that passed in the House yesterday? Me. You know who wants it to fail in the Senate?  Me.
  • The lady with the "[Expletive] Trump" sticker has been arrested. Luckily for the Sheriff, it was on unrelated charges. The DA's office told the Sheriff they wouldn't accept any charges for the sticker. 
    Obviously a Clear and Present Danger
  • Look out: TCU's QB Kenny Hill will not be making the trip to Tech this weekend. And by "look out" I mean that I think TCU still rolls with a true freshman QB. #SportsGenius
  • Johnson and Johnson is getting crushed with verdicts. That's the third one in Dallas and there are others across the country.
  • Deion Sander's 29,000 square foot house in Prosper is up for auction. WFAA has a video of the inside. It's insane.


Watch A Da Vinci Painting Get Sold For $400 Million

After fees, the total cost was $450 million.

A Must Read

I don't care if you don't listen to The Ticket. This interview is indeed a must read for anyone over 40. No one makes me laugh and think everyday more that Gordon. But he talks about depression and the loss of his parents and how it has impacted him.

The line of "divested me of the immortality delusion" stopped me down. I understand.

A Friendly Reminder That My Nemesis, Wordkyle, Wrote A Book

Link to the book. I don't have a link to the MENSA reviews. I don't think they would accept me.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

  • Roy Moore's lawyer, who appears to be as dumb as Roy Moore, says that the signing of the year book of the 14 year old (who certainly appears to be a victim) is: "A forgery!" Worst. Lawyer. Ever. The signature is dead on. 
  • Roy Moore is threatening to sue the New York Post. I pray that he does that. It would be like putting Trump under oath: A disaster.
  • He references a teenage cheerleader movie? (Uh, "It's already been broughten!")
  • Mrs. LL taught me a self defense technique the other night. I don't even know her anymore.
  • I've started watching Ken Burn's Vietnam. I'm hooked.
  • "Nope!":
  • I had guy who was behind me in a check out line, with a heavy Australian accent, ask me, "Are you in line, mate?" I wanted to strike up a conversation but I didn't. I regret it.
  • A guy in Flower Mound  thought about going after his wife's paramour.:
  • Full disclosure: When I was DA, Mark Peterson was my investigator for sex crimes. One of our policies is that if he wanted to make an arrest, he would type up a Probable Cause affidavit  and bring it to me for review and we would talk about it before I approved, modified,  or rejected it. In one of them, he used the term "paramour." As a thirty-something year old, I looked at him and said, "What the hell is a 'paramour'?" I still remember him laughing.
  • Helter Skelter, (electric guitar), Helter Skelter: 
  • Sheriff, you might find it just as offensive as I do, but you are going to be sued. It's called Freedom of Speech.  Let me direct you to Cohen vs. California which was handed down by the Supreme Court in 1971.
  • The goofy tweeting Texas Supreme Court judge quietly had his Senate hearing yesterday before he gets confirmed to the Fifth Circuit. He caught a little bit of heat, but there is nothing that can be done to stop his confirmation.
  • What?
  • He will probably get fired, but Fox New's Shepard Smith has debunked the Hillary "Uranium One" story.
  • Oh, Sean. This is WhatAboutism at its finest. 
  • I don't know what to think about Trump's crazy search for water during his rambling speech yesterday. 
  • I wrote this a couple of months ago. I was told, "Pets are great, but the downside is that they die before you do." There are few moments worse in your life than sitting on the ground after burying a pet, dirt on your jeans, dirt on your shirt, dirt on your face, sweat dripping off you, and crying. Godspeed, my friend.


Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

  • How much money does TCU have? 
  • The Texas lawyer I wrote about, who has become infamous in the Texas legal community, now represents the Proud Boys -- a group I can only describe as a non-violent watered down Klan of guys who couldn't beat up your average high school volleyball player. I learned yesterday he was up at the Wise County courthouse. He'll be back again on 12/11 for a hearing. I'll be there with my popcorn. 
  • Stolen and modified from Richie Whitt: On Thanksgiving day in 2012 Robert Griffin III, Heisman winner and later Rookie of the Year,  shredded the Cowboys with 4 TDs. In the same month, Johnny Football lead the Aggies to an upset of Alabama. Five years later - poof - both gone from football. 
  • Long time readers know I go crazy over news stories disguised as ads. Along those lines, Mrs. LL was watching Survivor the other night and one of the rewards was a meal from Outback Steakhouse. I certainly cocked an eyebrow. Then they show them eating and one guy says, "This meat is so tender it falls off the bone!" It is Idiocracy where everything is sponsored.
  • Remember the Trump federal judicial nominee who has never tried a case or argued a motion, and didn’t disclose that he’s married to a White House lawyer? He spent a year as a paranormal investigator. You can’t make this stuff up.
  • What?
    She looks familiar.
  • The Dallas County ADA who was fired for going on a rant against an Uber driver thought it would be a good idea to make a public apology yesterday. It did not go well as she spent most of her time trying to defend her drunken actions. That lady is the perfect example of the worst kind of prosecutor. She brought down her wrath on defendants every day but when she screws up, she deflects blame. She deserves to be booted.
  • And she said, "That is not who I am." Darlin', that's exactly who you are. We are all are what we are.
  • Fishing news: "Twelve of the 18 lakes would revert to a 14-inch minimum size limit for bass. Those lakes are Granbury, Possum Kingdom, Ratcliff, Bryan, Cooper, Old Mount Pleasant, Bridgeport, Burke-Crenshaw, Georgetown, Madisonville, San Augustine and Sweetwater" Being known as Lake Bridgeport's Kayaking Jimmy Houston, this will impact me greatly.
  • Look out! Sean Hannity has turned on Roy Moore by give him 24 hours to explain himself. (That's very Wild West sounding.)
  • There appears to be a fraternity hazing death at Texas State. I have never understood hazing. Fraternities are as close to Neanderthal as we can get.
  • Bridgeport backed down on its annexation plan. I'm surprised it took them that long. 
  • Welp, I was robbed again. 
  • It will be slow around here today. I'm burying another Family Dog. If 2017 isn't the worst year on record, I'm hard pressed to find a worse one. (And for those who know us, no, it is not the Yorkie.)
  • Mrs. LL, who was crying last night, said, "If you die or Precious [the Yorkie] dies, I'd be devastated." I did the head-cocked-confused-look nod with the thought of, "I think that was sweet because she loves that dog."

Uh, We Have A Problem

This was from last night. This is evidence of dementia.

And look out! He's up early this morning throwing a tantrum!


I Love This Woman!

This is a hearing during a break in the Twin Peaks trial which ended in a mistrial. The prosecutors had met with a witness, learned that he had evidence favorable to the accused, and never disclosed it. People have gone to jail for less than that.

There's an old saying: "If you have the facts, pound the facts. If you don't have the facts, you pound the law. If you don't have the facts or the law, you pound the table." Watch what the dumbest DA's office in the State does.

Reyna is the DA. He is walking around because he is incompetent. The guy doing the talking is an ADA brought in from corrupt Williamson County. And I have some advice for the young, blonde ADA: Run.

How In The World Did That Truck Stop So Quickly?

The Dorsett McDonald's Is On Notice!

We are doomed. [Language warning.]

I have some question as to whether this is real. Is that a wig? And she has good lower teeth which you wouldn't expect (but maybe a chipped upper one.)  And the camera panning down almost before she said the clerk looked her "up and down" gave me pause.

We've Got Nuclear Snark This Morning!

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • A fire alarm went off in the Wise County Courthouse before 7:30 this morning. That caused quite a bit of commotion, and it certainly got my attention when I saw the "Pumper/Tanker Truck" on the square.
  • The company who makes Keurig Coffee Makera pulled its advertising from Sean Hannity's show after Hannity defended Roy Moore by saying even if the allegations were true it was consensual. His fans retaliated by destroying their expensive Keurig machines they had already purchased. Uh, ok. 
  • Redi Wip, Dick's Sporting Goods, Realtor.com, genetic testing company 23 and Me, plus-size fashion firm Eloquii and vitamin company Nature's Bounty have also told Hannity they want to break up and don't love him anymore. 
  • Roy Moore heavy: 
    • News came out yesterday that Moore signed the year book of his 14 year old alleged victim. He was a 32 year old assistant DA and he ended the note with "Love,". If you don't understand how creepy that is, you have a serious problem. Uh, pull out your yearbook and find one signature of someone over 18 who was not a teacher. (Minor side note: And he signed it with "D.A." Buddy, you were assistant D.A.)
    • Now there is a report he was banned from a mall in the 1980s because he was bothering teenage girls.
    • I love those folks defending Roy Moore because it "was a different time back then." I became DA at 30 years old in 1993. If I had dated a Decatur High School girl then or two years later, I would have had my arse kicked within a week. If not by her father, it would have been some guy who learned about it while having morning coffee at Mattie's. 
    • It's amazing that folks who were screaming "Lock her up!" about Hillary believe that Roy Moore, an accused pedophile, should be given a trial and presumed innocent before any judgment in the court of public opinion can be made. 
    • Understand how this Roy Moore fiasco has come to be: (1) Trump appoints Jeff Sessions as AG, a Senator from Alabama, because Steve Bannon told him to. That creates an open Senate seat in Alabama. (2) The Russian scandal breaks out and Sessions recuses himself and appoints Mueller as special counsel who is now after Trump with indictments to come, (3) The Alabama Senate seat is now open and Trump endorses Moore's opponent yet Moore wins. (4) Now we have chaos with more pedophile allegations against Moore and the Republicans might lose a critical senate seat in Alabama.  Heck, House of Cards wouldn't write this script. 
    • Cornyn has withdrawn his endorsement. So has Cruz. For those two to admit they were wrong might prove we are at the end of days. 
    • Radio host Mark Davis said yesterday  he would vote for Moore if he lived in Alabama because there cannot be a Democrat in that Senate seat
  • I played this game to no end when I was kid. It was simplistic, silly, and the greatest thing I had ever seen.
  • This is the official description from Dallas PD of that horrible car wreck that I posted a pic of yesterday. I don't think that's the proper use of "complainant" 
  • The New Yorker
  • Jerry Jones is morphing into Al Davis. But Jerry vs. The NFL is big time entertainment. 
  • Boyd ISD has cancelled classes on Thursday to allow the kids to go to the State Volleyball Tournament in Garland. I really don't have any problem with that.
  • That Dallas prosecutor got fired for her drunken rant which basically was a, "Do you know who I am?" rant. The most shocking part of the rant, which is under-reported, is when she said she was calling the cops to "[eff] you up." (But it's good to now that the Uber driver found the last Glamour Shots studio.)
  • The optical illusion over at BagOfNothing this morning freaks me out. 
  • Hey! A lynching memorial and slavery museum in Alabama!:


Notre Dame vs. Miami: Who Ya Got?

I Always Support The Bull

A post shared by Barstool Heartland (@barstoolhrtland) on

Get Some!

The last 45 seconds or so is high entertainment.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

  • The Decatur Eagles will play Abilene Wylie in the playoffs. It is bizarre how many times they have faced them. And Abilene Wylie seems to have their number every time. 
  • Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you the President of the United States. I seriously thought this was a parody account at first. He's a Junior High girl:
  • Funny: 
  • Wise County voted down two proposed Texas constitutional amendments which would allow limited raffles as sporting events. That seems odd. Both passed statewide.
  • This will interest very few of you, but check out this affidavit from a former (and very respected) assistant DA in Waco crucifying his former boss on ethics allegations.
  • This unqualified new judge, appointed by Trump, is 36 years old.

  • Sean Hannity had Roy Moore on for a soft-ball interview and it blew up. Moore said he never dated any girl without their mom's permission. He was a 30-something assistant D.A. Good lord. 
  • Below is Billy Graham's son. I remember when Christians used to pray for the victims. 
  • An Uber driver alleges that while he was giving a Dallas County assistant district attorney a ride late Friday night, she hit him, insulted him and accused him of kidnapping her.  Uh, he recorded it. (It is shocking, and if she isn't fired this morning for embarrassing the office, something is very wrong.)
  • The new UNT Law School in Dallas just had a dismal bar passing rate but the Dallas Morning News thinks it is great. This is the silliest paragraph ever:"UNT's passage rate — 59 percent — is far from the over-90 percent rates at law schools at Baylor University and the University of Texas at Austin. But it's only a few points below some older Texas schools and, as the ABA Journal noted, among law schools nationwide, UNT Dallas did better than even some who have already been fully accredited." So it's not far behind the second worst Texas law school, and there actually exists other law schools somewhere in the country that scored worse that 59%. Talk about a low bar. 
  • That party was lit!
  • There are 352 Texas high school football playoff games. After a quick look, this appears to be the best game: Shallowater (9-1) vs. San Angelo Grape Creek (1-9), 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Snyder. Someone explain to me how a one win team gets qualifies for the playoffs. 
  • College football: (1) Thrashings that I did not expect to be thrashings: OU over TCU. Miami over Notre Dame. Auburn over Georgia. Ohio State over Michigan State. (2) I'm highly entertained by Baker Mayfield. (3) Baylor lost to Tech by 14 points despite leading in total yardage 523 to 347. Moral: You cannot turn the ball over. (4) Auburn's fantastic quarterback was a Baylor commit who left once the scandal broke. I was mad at him initially, but I've softened. It was in his best interest, and I'm not going to dog a college kid for doing what is in his best interest. (5) Auburn vs. Alabama will be interesting. And it is in Auburn. (6) The normally empty stadium at UNT had a really good crowd on Saturday.
  • Good, lord: 
  • Good, lord 2.0:
  • “Every time (Putin) sees me, he says, 'I didn't do that' . . . and I believe, I really believe, that when he tells me that, he means it." Incredible. Just ignore what every single U.S. Intelligence agency has said.  And Trump made that statement on Veteran's Day. 
  • Oh, Alabama: 

  • Mrs. LL and the Freshman in The House had an incident in a Fort Worth Chili's.The waitress dropped a tray at the end of the meal and salsa flew all over the Freshman. No biggee. Accidents happen. But some of the salsa flew into her eye and immediately started burning. The goofy waitress just laughed and walked away. When she came back to clean up the mess, Mrs. LL said she needed eye wash and needed it now. The waitress said she didn't think they had any. A frustrated Mrs. LL, who has expert waitress experience, said, "In the kitchen there is a safety kit. In that kit there is eye wash. And if it is not in there. I'm calling OSHA." Yep, Mrs. LL threatened someone with OSHA. (There was eye wash in there. And the manager came out and said, "I'm so sorry" about a million times.) It hurt the next day and went to the eye doctor. He actually diagnosed it as a "chemical burn."