blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: 1/7/07 - 1/14/07

1.12.2007

Official Weather Statement From Me

When I drove up to the courthouse at 2:00 p.m. (because it was raining), my official car thermometer read 68 degrees. When I drove back a little before 4:00 p.m., it read 41 degrees.

This Isn't Particularly Earthshaking . . .

. . . but Paula Abdul always seems like she's on crack. (This was from yesterday morning.)

Let's Talk Strippers

The Houston Police apparently don't have enough to do so they decided to arrest 11 strippers at a local club for various offenses. You want to see what the girls' book-in photos? Sure you do. The Smoking Gun has them.

Does This Change Every Year?

Beginning Monday, the "Cingular" brand name will start the process of being replaced with the name of "AT&T".

Derek Jeter and Jessica Biel Hang Out

Hey, now, Ms. New Booty (Source.)

I Am The Proud Defender of the Common Man

And I've got muddy footprints to prove it this morning.

Typing Errors

A faithful reader (whose real life job is to write down exactly what she hears), called me to complain about the numerous typos in the preceding blog entries. I immediately canceled her subscription.

Bad Liberal

Someone just pointed out to me that the courthouse will be closed on Monday in honor of Martin Luther King, J. Day but that my office will be opened. He said I should have my Liberal Card revoked.

Rhome. Rhome. Rhome.

They do the strangest things in Rhome. A former Rhome cop investigates the current chief and makes a recommendation to the council. The council fires the police chief. The council then considers hiring the former cop that conducted the investigation as the new part rime police chief.

Greg Oden

I don't much about this guy other than he's a 7' freshman basketball player for Ohio State that would probably be the first pick in the draft if he decides to go pro. He's definitely got game.

1.11.2007

Saddam Hussein Second Video

The release of the second video of Saddam has been in the news over the last three days. Some claim that it shows his throat/neck was cut. I doubt that. I don't think any of use know what a rope would due to our neck if we were hanged. The video is here. Don't yell at me for posting it. Don't click on it if you don't want to see a dead body. (After all, how can you be offended by the product of this new democracy? Unless the democracy is nothing more than a lynch mob.)

I Would Never Post This

Not Me. Not Me. Not Me.

Story.

Very Odd Memory

A story in the news today concerns a headstone found in Richland Hills of an infant that was buried around 1900. People are scrambling to figure out who the child was. Twenty-one years ago, during a summer break from law school, I took a girlfriend home to Wise County to let her see where I grew up (the relationship quickly ended for obvious reasons.) Anyway, we had an afternoon to kill so I took her to those plateaus that are west of Bridgeport. You know, those small mountains that are flat at the top - the ones that you can see for miles but no one talks about. I had remembered an old cemetery being up there - and by "up there" I mean on the top of one of the plateaus. Being a little strange even back then, I took my unsuspecting girlfriend to that remote location. I had never actually been in the cemetery and, once we arrived, we found it to be in a state of total disrepair. Weeds were high. Most of the headstones were broken. The place seemed to be abandoned. But I remember seeing grave after grave of infants that had died at the turn of the century. Unless I'm crazy, I could swear that some of the headstones had dates in the 1890s. I've never met anyone that has been to that cemetery.

Poor Judgment

One involving an affair and a cover up. One that involves the death of over 3,000 young men and women. I miss the 1990s.

Delayed Reaction

After posting the pics and specs of the Apple iPhone the other day, I'm so disappointed in myself for not saying, "I don't know what all that means, but I wooooont it."

Important Sports Note

The University of Florida won the national championship. The team will have Tim Tebow as its quarterback next year. This is a picture of Tim Tebow and his girlfriend. I thought it was important that we all got to know Tim Tebow. Source.

Sooooo Wrong

Soooo Immature

I Didn't Know . . .

The University of North Texas had opened up a Dallas campus, nor did I know the new school had its own colors and mascot, nor did I know that mascot would be a jaguar.

Other Blogs Talk About What We Talk About The Day Before

From The Blog of D Magazine:

David Ware, a Garland softball coach, is expected to turn himself in either today or tomorrow for liking wrestling. I mean really liking wrestling. As this story states, Ware is "accused of videotaping a girls wrestling match for sexual pleasure." His lawyers are going to challenge the 2001 law with the "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Are Hot" defense. Attorney Scott Palmer says,

"If you go to a Cowboys game and take a close-up shot of their cleavage, are you committing the same offense because you think that has sex appeal? Apparently you are under this statute."
But Grand Prairie Sgt. John Brimmer points out that the wrestlers Ware filmed were much younger. Brimmer also says,
"This was more than accidental footage of the genital areas. It appeared to be a purposeful act of zooming in."
Developing. (Source) I know that Scott Palmer. Funny guy. And I made that argument in a Skattershooting in August of 2001 (except I used a bikini contest in Padre Island as my example)

Crazy Sports Story

David Beckham, married to Posh Spice (pictured), has agreed to join the United States soccer club of the Los Angeles Galaxy for a reported $250 million over 5 years! That amount of money is insane. The Yankees could possibly afford that but not some spare American soccer team who last year had an average attendance of 20,814. Where in the world do they get that kind of money?

My Firstborn Would Probably Win This Competition

I stuck through about three and half minutes before I pulled out of my trance. I think it might be gay to listen to a 7.5 minute Madonna remix.

1.10.2007

Pete Delkus Is Magic

The heir to Troy Dungan as the WFAA weatherman just told me that the Arctic Blast will arrive "around 9:00 in the morning" on Saturday. Since it's only Wednesday, he should have it down to the minute by Friday. I'm thinking 9:06 a.m.

"To The Left. To The Left"

I don't know why, but I'm suckered in by Beyonce's "Irreplaceable". ("You might not know 'bout me. You might not know 'bout me.")

The Messenger Reports:

BREAKING NEWS - SUSPECT FOUND - Wise County Sheriff David Walker said that officers today (Wednesday, Jan. 10) found the body of murder suspect Antonio Zarate Limon, 44, near Alvord. Walker said that Limon’s body was found under a tree by the railroad tracks in a field near the Hot Skillet Restaurant. Limon shot and killed his wife, Maria Limon, early Jan. 3 as she arrived at the restaurant where she worked as a cook. Walker said it was not immediately apparent how Antonio Limon died or how long he had been dead. “We will have to wait for the medical examiner to give us the cause and time of death,” Walker said. Antonio Limon had fled the murder scene with a rifle used in the killing and law enforcement officers had conducted an extensive search for him, including the area where his body was found today.

"I'm The Decider. And I Decide For More Troops."

That's a fake quote. This was a real one: "Even if our new strategy works exactly as planned, deadly acts of violence will continue, and we must expect more Iraqi and American casualties."

Howard Stern Gets $83 Million Bonus

Somebody asked me in one of the Comments why I didn't complain about Stern's multi-million dollar windfall like I did about the millions paid to executives at high profile companies. (He/She insinuated that I didn't mind crazy liberals getting rich.) Ok, I'll complain. It doesn't matter to me whether it's a straight laced executive at Proctor and Gamble or a very spare shock jock like Stern. There comes a point where a level of compensation becomes ridiculous. And, along those lines, it was announced today that there are 744,000 people in America who are homeless. That's simply proof that the country is broken. Stern earns what he does because we value what he does. There are almost a million people homeless because we don't care they are on the streets tonight. And no amount of lip service can contradict that obvious fact.

Former Maverick . . .

Jason Kidd has filed for divorce from his smokin' hot wife. Kidd accused her of "physically and mentally abusing him" and that she exhibited "extreme and unwarranted jealousy and rage." Sounds like a good Saturday night to me.

She Was In The Ten Commandments?

LOS ANGELES – Yvonne De Carlo, the beautiful star who played Moses' wife in “The Ten Commandments” but achieved her greatest popularity on TV's slapstick comedy “The Munsters,” has died. She was 84.

Still One Of My Favorite Clips

There's Nothing Worse . . .

. . . than driving to Jack County only to find out that your court appointed client decided there was something more important to do than to show up for court. But, as I stood around in a daze, I learned the courthouse was part of the New Deal.

"Hey, I Was Just Focusing on the Half Nelson"

Well there goes my plan to spend this weekend videotaping a high school girls' wrestling match. Story here. The crazy criminal statute referenced is here.

Oh, The Con Carne

>Story

James Brown Died On Christmas Day

He hasn't been buried yet.

1.09.2007

Poll Results

I Don't Know

Kill Me. Kill Me Real Hard.

From Jay Leno last night: "In the Bronx, two men are being called heroes after a 3-year-old fell from a five-story fire escape and they caught it. Luckily for the kid, it wasn’t Tony Romo. He would have dropped him.

As you know, Tony Romo dropped the ball on a field goal attempt, costing the Dallas Cowboys the game. But the good news is today he picked up an endorsement deal: It’s the ‘Tony Romo’s Butterfinger.”

Random Lawyer Thought

The fact that I can sit in my comfy chair and listen, via a wireless Internet connection on a laptop, to arguments before the Supreme Court in 1989 over whether burning the American flag can constitutionally be a criminal act, is absolutely amazing. (Actual photo of the flag burner - A guy who probably is not welcome at, say, Bridgeport's Butterfield Stage Days.)

I'm Just Happy To Have A Side Room

D.R. Horton is a huge homebuilder based in Fort Worth (even bigger than Bridgeport's Brazier Construction.) Anyway, the above headline was all over the news today as proof the housing slump is not over. So how many sales orders did D.R. Horton receive for that terrible fourth quarter of 2006? That would be contracts to build 8,771 homes worth $2.29 billion. May we all work for a company that has such a bad quarter.

Quietly Into The Night

Back in 2000, the Texas Seven escaped from the Texas prison system and, as a consequence, Irving Police Officer Aubrey Hawkins ended up dead in the parking lot of an Oshman's in Irving on Christmas Eve. I remember his mother, Jayne Hawkins, being all over the news filled with venom for her son's killers. (She eventually sued TDC but the case was dismissed and she was ordered to pay court costs. She wasn't happy.) Without fanfare, her obituary appeared in the Dallas Morning News today.

"Ugly Betty" Isn't

Since You Been Gone

Best Transvestite In A Daytime Drama

All My Children has unveiled a transvestite. I really liked the way he/she said, "sexzeeeee bra." I just hope Erica Kane has all her girl parts.

Oops.

Another open mic on a news station set leads to yet another F Bomb being broadcast. A very violent F Bomb. Here. Poor, Buzz.

The iPhone

I'm not an IPod user but the new invention announced today by Apple is pretty cool. It's an IPod and a phone and it looks really cool. Cingular will be carrier and it will be released this summer. But it's pricey: $499 with a two year contract. I'm not sure of all the things it can do, but it looks amazing. Link. Be sure to scroll down to see all the photos of Steve Jobs' presentation today.

I've Had The Weirdest Dreams Lately

Last night in my dreams, me and a group of guys were to play, in a nationally televised game, the premiere women's high school basketball team in the country. And I was assigned the job of guarding their best player - some point guard. Mind you, this wasn't a dream about me in high school trying to guard some stud high school female. Nope. It was present day me who was supposed to do that job. I was so excited that I was scrambling trying to find someone to TIVO it. As usual for my dreams, I got lost and wasn't able to make it. (I spend all my time in my dreams trying to get to somewhere else.) I guess that is just as well. That dream girl would have scored 100 points on me by halftime. How bizarre.

Iwao Takamoto, 81, Has Died

Famous for creating the above cartoon dogs.

The Legislature Is In Session Today

Let me suggest: - Legalize casino gambling - Legalize marijuana - Require uniforms in school

1.08.2007

Texas Politics . . .

. . . gives me extreme Tired Head because (1) I don't think any of those yahoos know what they are doing, (2) I always get the feeling that some back room deal is going on, and (3) I sometimes have nightmares of Jane Nelson, wearing a French maid outfit, waiting on me when I get home. That being said, there's some big controversy down there right now as House Speaker Tom Craddick is in danger of losing his job. I really don't care about it. But I do get a kick out of the fact that Craddick held an "event" last night in Austin and some guy stood outside the entrance with a video camera to document every representative that showed up to support the Speaker. Our own Phil King was there to suck up. Source.

Let Me Be The First: "Winter Blast, 2007"

As we speak, Fox 4 News is sending Lari Barager to interview a sand truck driver.

Football Finale

The Florida Gators are rolling over #1 Ohio State at halftime. I'm just depressed because this is the last college football game until September. And no matter how good this game is, it won't match Texas/USC from last year. And I'm still haven't ruled out last weeks OU/Boise State game as the best game ever. And, finally, I would like to note that I traveled to Florida to watch the Gators play in September of last year. So what happens? They (I think) will win the National Championship. I took a trip to watch Michigan play in 1997 and they ended up as National Champs as well. I think I might be some type of Football Angel.

Show Me What You Got Now, Baby

I always stop down for the Jay-Z Budweiser commercial that begins with Danica Patrick and some NASCAR guy. I think it is Dale Jr. but I'm not sure.

She Had 25 Million Reasons To Work For Him

Terrell Owens has dumped his publicist, Kim Etheredge, who made headlines last year by claiming that T.O. had "25 million reasons why he should be alive" after his suicide and/or overdose and/or accident.

Puuuuuhhhleeeeezzzzzzeeee

CONNELL, ALANA COLETTE

A woman goes to greet new Alabama coach Nick Saben Saban at the airport. She gets drunk and is shown on TV (youtube clip here). She kisses Saben and gets her picture in the paper (top, above). Then she gets arrested later that day for DWI and ends up with a mugshot. This might be my eighth wife.

Keira Knightley

Death. Death. Death.

Your President will make a speech to the nation on Wednesday night and everyone expects that he will announce a troop "surge" in Iraq by 20,000 soldiers. God help us.

Group Hug

Link. (Language warning on some of the posts).

I'm Insane Now

Movies Released 10 Years Ago

1Titanic $600,788,188
2Men in Black $250,690,539
3The Lost World: Jurassic Park $229,086,679
4Liar Liar $181,410,615
5Air Force One $172,956,409
6As Good as It Gets $148,478,011
7Good Will Hunting $138,433,435
8Star Wars (Special Edition) $138,257,865
9My Best Friend's Wedding $127,120,029
10Tomorrow Never Dies $125,304,276
11Face/Off $112,276,146

1.07.2007

Cowboys Redux Redux

Fox4News began it's broadcast tonight with this: "Good Evening, I'm Natalie Solis. One big mistake at the worst possible time killed the Cowboys' playoff hopes and maybe the whole season." Huh? "Maybe"? Is there some "do over" I don't know about? She then threw it to Sportscaster Mike Doocey who had a very confused look on his face.