"Richard, I'm Gonna Be Straight Up, I'm the Father"

I Got Married In That Outfit!

Gay Pride Parades are ... uh ... different.

Name Change A Consideration?

Link.

Just Wait Until "Snakes On A Plane"

The second Pirates of the Caribbean movie opened yesterday to a record toll of $55 million. No movie has made more money in a single day than that. Of course, you never hear about what the figure would be if justified for inflation. I paid $8.50 for a single ticket last weekend. It's a lot easier to get to $55 million at $8.50 a pop than it would be at $3.50 a pop twenty years ago. And I'm not sure I understand the fascination with Pirates of the Caribbean.

Random Saturday Golf Thoughts

- I promised I'd give up golf, but I've played four times in the last couple of months. It's kinda like crack - I played today with my good friend Joseph at Robson Ranch just south of Denton. - Robson Ranch is a retirement community that has spent a fortune on advertising over the last five years - The advertising has worked: there are a ton of homes in the community - Noticing how they all pretty much look alike - in a boring sort of way - I finally found one for sale along the golf course. For 1,500 square feet, it'll cost you $230,000. - I'm stunned at the prices of homes at Robson Ranch - I found a 2,300 square foot home for $320,000 - There doesn't appear that there is a much to do at Robson Ranch. - For every five golf shots I shank, one sweet one will keep me coming back again. - Golf is a four hour game. - If you show up an hour early to get organized and hit the driving range, golf is a five hour game. - If you hang out with your buddies after golfing, golf is a six hour game. - We were involved in a six hour game, and I think my friend's wife is very angry with him. - If you factor in driving to and from the golf course, golf becomes a seven hour game. - People cuss a lot on the golf course

Weird Stuff I Stumble Across

Last year there was a movie produced called "Paradise, Texas." It starred Timothy Bottoms (famous from the law school movie "The Paper Chase") and Merideth Baxter (from "Family Ties" who must have divorced "Birney"). I have no idea what the movie is about.

Juando

In case you were wondering where former Texas Ranger Juan Gonzalez is these days (that would be two time Major League Baseball's MVP Juan Gonzales), you might want to check this web page of the Long Island Ducks.

Laura Miller Calling It Quits, Part 2

This is a fairly interesting description of how the Dallas Morning News learned of the mayor's decision not to seek re-election. She kinda sounds like a queen bee.

Kelly Clarkson's New Look

Supreme Court Talk

The most liberal justice left is John Paul Stevens, and he is 86 years old. If Bush or, heaven forbid, a Republican successor gets to appoint his replacement, America would be changed forever. As The Washington Post said this week, "This is a court that could be a single vote away . . . from crippling affirmative action; curtailing, in not abolishing, abortion rights; [and] dramatically lowering the wall of separation between church and state . . . . " If you wake up one morning and hear that Stevens has died, the most important political day in the last 40 years has occurred.

Pop Culture Joke

Pamela Anderson in a bikini with her kids on a yacht in Monaco

Attend A Rave In Your Office - Before Noon

Pretty creepy. Stare at a bunch of moving lines on a youtube.com video and then look away when it tells you to. Stuff starts moving. Freaky.

I've Got The Exact Same Tattoos

The fact that Marquis Daniels of the Mavericks got traded is not interesting. The fact that this is what Marquis Daniels' back looks like is.

Eleven Secrets Men Don't Tell Their Wives

Secret #1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day -- but it doesn't mean we want to leave you Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you Secret #3: We're unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we've made one to you Secret #4: Earning money makes us feel important Secret #5: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house Secret #6: We like it when you mother us, but we're terrified that you'll become your mother Secret #7: Every year we love you more Secret #8: We don't really understand what you're talking about Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive Secret #10: We'll always wish we were 25 again Secret #11: Give us an inch and we'll give you a lifetime Source with a short explanation of each is here.

Car Talk

The Ticket discussed the greatest inventions in car accessories over the last 20 years. The nominees, in no particular order, are: - Automatic windows - Automatic locks - Cruise control - Automatic headlights - Rain sensored window washers - Remote car locks - GPS - DVD player for the back seat - The "beeping" sensor while backing if someone or something is behind you (I didn't know this existed) Cruise control may be at the top of my list. (And that's a pic of the new Saturn Sky.)

The Morning News' Steve Blow Wrote This

OK, get the mental juices flowing with this: Yancy Mejano, 24, the mother of the missing toddler [the little boy that disappeared in a park while her mother was in a truck with her boyfriend], testified yesterday that she met her husband, 52-year-old Gilberto Bercian, when he was dating her mother. And one of his grown children is married to Ms. Mejano's sister. So does that mean she is her own sister's mother-in-law? I'm confused. And clearly, so is this family.

And You Think I'm A Nerd

Some gal named Lesley Tellez writes about bars and clubs for the Dallas Morning News and its weekly magazine, Quick. That's her picture. She seems like a young, hip gal. Let me stress the word "seems". Here is some of her prose from her review (printed today in the DMN) of the bar "Tini" in Deep Ellum: But we didn't expect to see such a diverse crowd: middle-aged ladies who looked like they just came from work, a skater-dude with his hat to the side, a smartly dressed guy in a fedora, two clean-cut whippersnappers bobbing their heads, A Night at the Roxbury style. Most folks were chatting and doing their own thing. Did she say a guy looked good in a fedora? Did she use the term "whippersnappers"? We were getting ready to drink another X-Rated Tini [a martini]– mmm, grapefruit – when suddenly we heard it: The familiar opening strains of Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You." We yelled with glee and watched as a few other patrons broke it down on an impromptu dance floor near the door. "Broke it down"?

Ugh

I wish I was clever enought to write this but I stole it from someone else: "I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation why Michelle Rodriguez [of "Lost"] would want to show off her armpit hair and then lick it. Unfortunately, I don't speak crazy." Edit: On the comments - bring it back a bit people. Bring it back.

"It feels like sumthins heatin up, can I leave wit u"

I don't listen to Justin Timberlake. Don't care much about Justin Timberlake. I'm not exactly sure which boy band he came from. But that new album cover ain't bad.

Decatur High School

I snapped this pic of the new Decatur High School today. Despite my Bridgeport roots that I refuse to let go of, I have to admit that place looks good. A couple of weeks ago I overheard a guy say "A nice school sends the message that a community cares about its kids. It's a great selling point." Although statements like that normally make me roll my eyes, that one was right on point. The location, which is clearly visible by everyone passing through on 287, is perfect. Hey, it might have cost too much (and the late H.D. Boswell might have hated it), but it looks like a great idea right now.

She Has Always Kinda Jazzed Me

From the Star Telegram: "DALLAS -- Dallas Mayor Laura Miller will not be seeking re-election, saying that she has accomplished all her major goals, according to a news report. Miller told KXAS/Channel 11 on Thursday that she is ready to spend the next four years with her family." Not to nit-pik, but isn't KXAS actually Channel 5? And why does everyone always say they are going to spend time with their family?

Sean Hannity . . .

. . . may be the most naive and dishonest personality on the radio. (His manipulation of the nurses in the Terry Schiavo case was jaw dropping.) But for the purpose of self-inflicting pain, I normally keep his radio show on in the background during the late afternoon. A second ago he plugged some "Freedom Concert" by telling us that Lee Greenwood would be there (he couldn't possibly sing "I'm Proud To Be . . ." could he?) as well as, get this, Tony Orlando who will sing "Tie A Yellow Ribbon." This man is cutting edge . . . if it were 1975.

W Turns 60 Today

Huddle Up

For the many of you that have a fetish about Jessica Biel throwing a football (and who amongst us does not have such a fetish), this is your lucky day.

I Hope My Five Ex-Wives . . .

. . . don't make me resort to this.

It's Hard Out Here For A . . .

Random observations today: - Saw an inmate in the district courtroom get real mouthy with transport jailers - something I don't see very often. I'm proud to announce they did not drag him down the stairs to the police car. - Saw a twenty something year old actually spread out and go to sleep on a bench outside the courtroom (I got very close to taking a pic of him to post on here but, since he was on the criminal docket, that wouldn't be a good idea.) - Had to run to Fort Worth for a driver's license hearing for a DWI case (you have never seen so many cops in one room. ) Anyway, stopped at 7-11 for a coke on the way back only to get stuck in the longest checkout line in the history of ever. The checkout girl was yelling at the manager, "I wish everyone would quit telling me what to do!!!" Somebody needed to tell her to focus on the cash register.

Not Sure Why I'm Posting This

There are 68 items that are forbidden on airlines. Of all items seized, 80% are of one type: cigarette lighters. The number of lighters conviscated confiscated per day: 30,000. (Source: my new Time magazine)

Self Imposed No Tolerance Policy

Montague DA Tim Cole, who was the assistant DA in Wise and Jack Counties up until 1993, has announced he will resign after being arrested in Oklahoma for DWI. Extremely popular, he is also the current president of the Texas District and County Attorney's Association. The Times Record News story is here. Cole's statement in a press release provided by the DA's office said: "The last year has been one of great personal hardship for me, but there is no excuse for this behavior. It is a violation of the public trust in my office and, as soon as I am able to establish a law practice, I intend to offer my resignation." Tim is a good guy, and this is sad news for all that know him.

From A Mega Church in Memphis

Article.

Streaker performance during Sharapova vs. Dementieva

This happened yesterday. I love the Sharapova "hop dance" after the streaker and the announcers are pretty funny. You can bolt after about 45 seconds.

"Yes, Helen. Your question."

I landed on C-SPAN for a few moments this evening and caught one of White House Press Secretary Tony Snow's daily press conferences. That guy is good. He controls the room, and his level of comfort is unlike anything we've seen from that position. And when the press conference was over, he hangs around and BS's with the press. What a great hire by Bush.

I Can Smell Fall in the Air

Betting lines for the opening college football season are out: TCU is a 13 1/2 point favorite over Baylor UT is expected to beat North Texas by 40 Source: Go to Betmill's main site and click on College Game on the left-hand side to see all the games.

Big Brain

More Ken Lay talk. Question: Since Lay had been found guilty by a jury but had not yet been sentenced and certainly had not exhausted all of his appeals, what is his legal status? Someone smarter than me says this had Lay died during his appeal: "In a recent Fifth Circuit decision, United States v. Estate of Parsons, 367 F.3d 409 (5th Cir. 2004), the court explained that 'the appeal does not just disappear, and the case is not merely dismissed. Instead, everything associated with the case is extinguished, leaving the defendant as if he had never been indicted or convicted.' In Parsons, the court vacated a forfeiture order, which means that the government's forfeiture claim against Lay for $43.5 million (see earlier post here) will be dismissed. " (Source)

That Didn't Take Long

With Ken Lay's body still warm, the rumors have begun: (1) He didn't die of a heart attack, he killed himself (2) He isn't dead at all - he's faking his death and is going into hiding. #1 doesn't seem that outrageous to me.

Fast Food Chaos

After driving by Taco Bell and seeing ten (count 'em, ten!) cars in a drive through line, I came across a fender bender in front of Dairy Queen (which had the odd dynamic of having an elderly lady standing in the back of a pick-up until the police arrived.) It was chaos. Not really, but it livened up my drive around Decatur.

Sometimes This Thing Writes Itself

From the Star Telegram's web site this morning: FORT WORTH -- A woman believed to be in her 70s was struck and killed Tuesday after she left a west-side bar, police said. Investigators have identified a suspect, whose arrest was imminent, Sgt. Rodney Bangs, supervisor of the traffic investigation unit, said Wednesday. The woman was using a wheelchair when she was hit, Bangs said. her name was not released because her family had not yet been notified. The accident occurred about 2 a.m. Tuesday in the 8900 block of W. Camp Bowie Blvd., Bangs said. ``We believe she had just left the Electric Cowboy bar and was traveling the sidewalk, but the sidewalk dead-ended, so she had to get out on the road to continue westbound,'' Bangs said.

How Big Is Our World?

Click to enlarge. Other pics are here.

News

A DMN letter to the editor writer once wrote that Enron president Ken Lay, even though found guilty of a variety of federal charges, would never spend a day in prison. I made fun of her for that belief. Well, he or she was riight: ABC News just reported that Lay has died of a heart attack.

No Way

"Thousands of country music fans braved the elements at the annual picnic outside Billy Bob's Texas. Many of them arrived long before the music started, about 11:30 a.m., to stake out their territory for Willie's scheduled performance at 10 p.m. " You know, that sounds like a beating.

Lindsay Lohan Has A Brother (Come On, It's Important)

Pic From The Pepsi 400 This Weekend

Handfull of others here.

Immature Time Waste

That I played with for a little bit.

Lots Of Stuff In The Air Today

The U.S. launched the Space Shuttle today (the 115th launch) while North Korea test launched a few missles. Good thing they didn't all collide. (Sidenote: I watched the shuttle launch on ABC and the network put up a NASCAR like graphic showing how high, how fast, and how far "down range" the shuttle was. It was incredible: That thing was traveling about 750 miles per hour after one minute and was cracking 5,000 miles per hour in about five minutes. Very cool.)

The Godfather

Finally Finished: The Godfather Why?: Everyone around me has talked about it for years Coolest Part: Just watching Marlon Brando and a young Al Pacino, Robert Duvall, and James Caan all in the same scene. Craziest Scene: The horse head in a bed is all that it was cracked up to be. Craziest Scene #2: Al Pacino gunning down the two guys in the restaurant. (Although Sonny getting gunned down is close.) Things I Didn't Know: Talia Shire played a big role in this before ever being made famous as Mrs. Rocky Balboa. A Must: I could have never have made it through it without turning on the subtitles. Bottom Line: It's really good, but I'm not sure it falls within the "great" category. (But let me think about it for a few days - which is the only way to judge a movie.)

Cemetery Musings

So I started to think about cemeteries and stumbled upon www.findagrave.com. It's really odd in that it provides pictures and backgrounds regarding famous grave sites in America. Oddly, Moore Memorial Gardens hosts the sad origin of the "Amber Alert" (picture, right) as well as 'Dimebag' Darrell Abbott (which you have to see).

Random Sports Thought

There was some speculation that the Mavs would try and sign Detroit's Ben Wallace. Ben Wallace looks mean. Ben Wallace is mean. Ben Wallace will go to the Chicago Bulls instead.

Keira Knightley Looks Skinny and Sticky

At Peace

I roamed around an old cemetary today (but one that had a few relatively new graves.) There is no place on the world that makes me more reflective. They are holy places.

The History Channel . . .

. . . tonight had a whole hour dedicated to "Texas' Roswell - A mysterious airship crashes in the small town of Aurora, TX". It was filmed in 2005. (They've even put it on a DVD.)

Random Thought

I think I'll spend the rest of the day handing out bottle rockets and cherry bombs to those people drinking out at Wise County Park.

Brazil Was Eliminated From The World Cup Competition This Weekend

That makes me very sad for this girl.

I Don't Watch 24 But . . .

why would Mary-Lynn Rajskub, a.k.a. Chloe kiss Rush Limbaugh? He does not deserve love.

Flashback

I'm a proponent of never looking back and always moving forward. That being said, I got sucked in to this video the other day which violates my "Never Listen To Oldies" policy. It's Journey. As a young kid, I was absolutely fascinated with them - even going so far as to see them on three different occasions in Reunion Arena. But the video is interesting for reasons other than Steve Perry's golden voice - Notice how there's no flashy production, no videos, no balls of fire - just a band.

A Very Important Question

Why do girls insist on getting a tattoo right above their booty? I'm torn between whether it's hot or not. Probably depends on the girl. That's Jessica Alba by the way.

News That Caught My Attention This Weekend

. . . without links:

• A lady in Mansfield allegedly drowned her 1 year old baby in a backyard hot tub
• A 5 month old was found dead at a daycare in Saginaw (although the place looked more like a regular house than a daycare)
• The leader of North Korea said he would respond to a pre-emptive U.S. military attack with an "annihilating strike and a nuclear war." If they test launch that missle this week, I'm getting nervous
• I think Israel and Hamas are about to blow each other to bits (but its amazing that Israel is threatening Syria because of its sympathies for Hamas)

There's No Way I'm Getting IN That Piece Of Junk

NASA has been trying to launch the Space Shuttle for the last two days in a row but couldn't do so because of the weather. This news just broke: "CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - Inspectors found a 5-inch-long crack in the foam insulation covering the shuttle Discovery's external fuel tank, and NASA managers were deciding Monday whether to call off the scheduled Fourth of July launch." Let's scrap that project, save some lives, and save a train load of cash.

Random 4th Of July Thought

Firework displays sure haven't changed much in 20 years.

Slow Blogging

But I managed to see The Lake House today. It reunites Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. It basically is about two people communicating via letter with each other although one lives in 2004 and the other lives in 2006. Overall, it's not bad - a little sappy - but not bad. But whenever you have people jacking with the past and the future, I spend most of my time getting Confused Head because I spend all my time thinking "wait, if he does x in the past won't that effect y in the future." (Back To The Future comes to mind).