Oklahoma Taking You Into The Weekend

But let's not forget priorities.

Ok, Baylor. You've got your marching orders.  Go get 'em.

Get Ready: Pete Delkus Is On His Knees Praying For Bad Weather and TV Time

One Of The Many Reasons Why A Democrat Cannot Win In Wise County

After straight ticket voting, you don't stand a chance.

Take the County Judge's race.

12,485 total votes cast.

  • Approximate Straight Ticket voting by all voters (which was around 60%): 7,490
  • Of which 87% were Republican: 6,517
  • 13% by Democrats: 973
  • That leaves non-straight ticket voters at: 4,995

So......the Democrat could receive every one of those 4,995 votes which were not cast as straight ticket and he'd still lose 6,517 to 5,968.

Index - 1956

Remember the old Andy Griffith Show where the Sheriff would pick up the phone and say, "Sarah, get me Gomer down at the filling station" ?   (And operator Sarah was notorious for listening in on telephone calls after connecting the two parties.)  Bridgeport apparently had a "Sarah" until 1956.

When I was a kid, we only had to dial five digits. I'm not sure if it started off that way in '56.

Get Me This Hispanic Dog* Who Won't Wake Up!

*Oh, come on. It's obvious. 

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

  • If the Republican controlled Congress' first piece of business is to "repeal Obamacare" (legislation which will be vetoed) we'll know what they think about you. It's just a dog and pony show. 
  • I had a bullet point here about the Navy Seal who is trying to get publicity, but bagofnothing beat me to it. Old man thought: Does the younger generation thinks it is starring in its own movie?
  • Speaking of, BagofNothing wrote today that his neighbor is in great shape and busty. I post pics of Random Thought Girls and he lives by one of them? No justice.
  • The morning show on The Ticket has been in England all week and I sooooo want to go there. But I would want a personal guide. There has to be an informal service for that, right? Kinda like Uber except for sightseeing. Or just some twenty/thirty-something willing to show you around but not costing an arm and a leg. Heck, that would seem to be viable in large American cities as well. 
  • "If you ever quote anything I say on the blog, you have to give me a cool fake name!" -- Courthouse employee yesterday. 
  • I oftentimes pack a TV dinner in my briefcase for lunch. The Junior In The House discovered that for the first time yesterday when she got up early to make sure he car would start after "Car Battery Chaos 2014".  "You use that as a lunchbox!!!!" she said. "I thought you used it for important business papers!" It was like I had been defrauding her for years.
  • By the way, the problem was the battery and not the alternator.
  • Special note for Wordkyle: Breaking news -- unemployment is down to 5.8%
  • This is the biggest game in memory for TCU (and much larger than that fraud of a game in the 2010 Rose Bowl year when they played Utah. Utah ended up with three losses.) And I think they'll win, but I wouldn't bet on it.  That Thanksgiving game against the Evil Empire might be an ambush. Edit: Hey, goofball. Did I say they played Utah in the Rose Bowl? The Utah game was the only "big game" in that Rose Bowl regular season. 
  • A Wise County SO investigator posted a pic because he "got lucky" yesterday. (Credit to Mrs. LL for finding this one. She might have said, "There's a lot going on there.") 
  • Rick Perry's lawyers are attacking whether the special prosecutors properly took the oath of office. Hey, I think that prosecution is silly (too many prosecutors in this world) but that defense tactic is a time waste. If they are right, it takes two minutes to fix it. Get on with the fight.
  • Legal stuff: The Fort Worth Court of Appeals, in an opinion issued yesterday, dogged someone for filing a 2 1/2 page brief. Looking up the case, the attorney listed for the person who got dogged is a former justice on that court of appeals. Something doesn't seem right.
  • The funeral for Jesus Saldana, the subject of a bullet point yesterday, is not listed in today's Update.
  • High school football team executes the ol' "bounce pass" play. I promise I thought about that play last week, and I looked without success for black and white footage of it used successfuly in the Cotton Bowl. (At least I think it was the Cotton Bowl. As I remember it, the receiver took three or four steps in fake disgust before launching the pass. Some of you old-timers help me out on this.)  Edit: Thanks. It was aTm vs. UT in 1965
  • There was a high profile kidnapping in the news this last week which was solved, in part, because the kidnapper had a GPS device installed in his car by a car dealer so the car could be found and repo'd if he defaulted on the note. Apparently he had bad credit among other flaws.
  • You think we'd see a rise in divorces because of technology. Between spycams, spyware, cell phones, and hidden GPS devices, no one can get away with having an affair, can they? 


Anonymous North Texas vs. Texas Nazis! Live From Rockwall! Who Ya Got?

And do not let that complimentary bbq persuade you.  That's an oldest Nazi trick in the book.


And I'm dating myself, but I can't help but think "I hate Illinois Nazis" when I look at that photo above.

From The Corpus Christi Caller: Ebola!!!!

Odds of it being Ebola: 1 in a Krillion

(And Shaeriff Kaelin is not to be confused with actor Omar Sharif. [Rimshot. Hal Jay wheeze laugh. Rock me]).

Edit: Sheriff does not understand that prematurely screaming "possible Ebola" makes a sheriff look like a moron.


Nosey the elephant, lame and hurting, is currently traveling through Texas, where she will be forced to give rides and perform grueling circus tricks at the Wise County Fairgrounds in Decatur as part of the Family Fun Circus, which is scheduled to appear November 5. We don't have much time, so please act today and ask decisionmakers to cancel Nosey's appearances immediately.

You may have seen that Newsroom actor Olivia Munn recently penned a scathing letter to Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack and that True Blood's Kristin Bauer van Straten called and e-mailed the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) about the agency's failure to help Nosey. Nosey's exhibitor, the notorious Hugo Liebel, has been forcing the elephant to perform despite the fact that she has been consistently lame since at least July 27. According to a leading elephant expert and veterinarian, "Nosey demonstrates needless suffering and pain with each step while forced to provide rides to the public." Despite Liebel's long history of animal-welfare violations—including citations for shackling Nosey with short chains and denying her veterinary care—the USDA has refused to step in to help. Now it's up to compassionate people like you to ensure that Nosey is not forced to perform.

Just this week, the cities of Gainesville, Denton, and Terrell, Texas, refused to allow Liebel to exhibit Nosey after hearing of his abusive history. And after hearing from PETA and its supporters, the Buy For Less supermarket in Oklahoma City barred Liebel from performing on its property last month. People are listening! Join PETA today in politely urging representatives of Wise County to follow these compassionate examples by canceling Nosey's appearances right away. (Source)

I'm not sure what is going on, because PETA has deleted the page and I had to get it from Google cache. I think the County's position is: It's in the limits of Decatur, go talk to them.

In a related matter, I have hearsay info that the circus yesterday involved a miniature horse and two dogs (only one who could do tricks) and no elephant.

But, what the heck, Facebook petition!!!!

Courthouse news: Read People!

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

  • Other election news I missed yesterday: (1) GOP whipping girl Sandra Fluke lost her bid to join the California state senate, (2) American Idol star Clay Aiken lost his bid for Congress in North Carolina, (3) Zach Dasher, nephew of Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson, lost his GOP bid for Congress in Louisiana. and (4) weed was legalized in Oregon, Washington state, D.C., and Alaska.  What a weird country. 
  • Speaking of Alaska, remember when the Supreme Court sanctioned the punishment for a kid who was punished for holding up a sign in that state which read, "Bong Hits For Jesus." He was punished for referencing what is now legal activity. 
  • Lost in the defeat of Dallas DA Craig Watson is the fate of former (and fired) WFAA reporter Debbie Denmon. She became the Dallas DA's office "Director of Communication" but, the best I can tell, was told to never communicate. On election day, Watkins (being Watkins) issued a press blackout before the election results were in.  
  • "President Obama said on Wednesday that he would seek specific authorization from Congress for the military campaign against the ISIS." I'm with the Libertarians on this one: There is no Constitutional authority for Congress to "authorize" military action if the President so desires to use military action. They either declare war or they do not.  That why Ron Paul had a big problem with Bush and Iraq: There was never a declaration of war. Congress just approved force if Bush wanted to use force. 
  • "Who cares about this stupid election? We all know it doesn't matter who gets elected . . . .  Do you really think it's gonna change anything around here, make one single person smarter or happier or nicer? The only person it does matter to is the one who gets elected. The same pathetic charade happens every year, and everyone makes the same pathetic promises . . . ." - character Tammy Metzler from the very underrated 1999 movie, Election.
  • I'm always surprised that those who think it is a big deal that the election results, when shown on a red/blue map, is shockingly red. Hey, that little blue spot around a place called "New York" is worth more votes than the vast red space of Montana, Idaho, and West Texas combined. 
  • "Conservative Pundit Dennis Prager Says College Sexual Assaults Are Lies To Get Votes" That guy may be nuttier than Hannity.
  • I was home about an hour early yesterday and put on my running gear. Right before I'm out the door, I get a call that the Junior in the House's car in the high school parking lot is dead and needs a jump. So I'm off. Car jumped. Success. I tell her to "drive it for awhile" to charge it up. I drive home. The car is sitting in front of the house.  "Hey, I told you to drive it." She rolls her eyes and goes to drive it -- except the battery is dead again. I try to jump it again but this time nothing. Absolutely nothing. For some reason, I've got a four year old, yet never used, battery in the garage so I swap it out despite her question of, "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Battery installed. Jumped. Success. I tell her to go drive the thing and charge it up. I go off on my jog. A quarter mile away I see her at an intersection. I wave. She waves back but frantically and in a panic. The car died at the intersection. How is that possible? So, me the middle aged jogger, goes and talks to a teenage girl at the intersection. A couple of people drive by giving me a weird stare. Mrs. LL has been called to bring the Gangsta Mobile and the jumper cables. She arrives. Try to jump it off -- nothing. For some unexplained reason, I have a two year old battery, yet never used, in my trunk. They go to retrieve it and return.  A cop shows up.  I fully expect I'm about to have my name and date of birth cross checked against the sexual offender list but it doesn't happen. He's a nice guy. I switch in the new battery and jump it. Success. Now I take the car to drive it and charge the battery since we are scared that it'll die again with the Teenager driving it.  Success again. I park it in front of the house.  It is now dark.  I jog anyway.
  • First item in the Update deals with a tractor death near Boyd: "The man, from Decatur, was not identified pending notification of next of kin in Mexico and positive identification." Last item in the Update: "SERVICE for Jesus Saldana, 20, of Mexico is pending at Christian-Hawkins Funeral Home in Boyd." I'm guessing those two items aren't related but we'll see. 


Too Many Cops?

Arrests by @DentonPD (@DentonPolice)
11/05/2014 14:10:36
Dewayne, 50 yrs old ♐
Bond: $352

Random Decatur Drive In Ad: 1974

I Think I've Found The Most Conservative County In Texas: Hartley County

Over 90% for Greg Abbott with turnout at over 60%.

The population is 5,537 which includes those in the confines of Dalhart Unit of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.

We've Got Another College Kid Winning That Basketball Contest

Unlike the one I posted last week, he got help on the rebounds. (Boy, did he need it.)  And nice 'fro on the white boy!!!

Hey, That Lady From Iowa Who Grew Up Castrating Hogs Won!

Let's go to her for a reaction to the big win:


I don't think you could get away with this today.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

  • No election surprises on the national or Texas level last night. 
  • I was impressed that J.D. Clark got a whopping 83% of the vote for Wise County Judge but then I noticed basically every single Republican in statewide voting received 80% or more of the Wise County vote. I'll have to check, but I bet that is at all time highs. 
  • Texas won't be blue if Democrats sit on their arse: In the last presidential election, 3,300,124 Texans voted for President Obama.  Wendy Davis received 1,820,571 votes in this election. Yeah, it's a mid-term election, but still. 
  • But I just checked Abbott's comparable numbers: Romney got 4,569,843 and Abbott received 2,775,353.   If my math is right, Davis received 55.1% of what Obama received and Abbott got 60.1% of what Romney received. Significant, but not "game on" changing. 
  • I love this election stuff. 
  • Nationally, the most entertaining thing to watch in the future is how the Normal Republicans and the Tea Party Republicans get along in the Senate. I'm counting on Ted Cruz to not let us down in the entertainment department.
  • And since President Obama can veto any crazy legislation without fear of an override, we have a stalemate for the next two years. And I'm fine with that. 
  • Craig Watkins lost the DA's race in Dallas County by a hair. An incumbent and a Democrat DA in that county lost. You have to be a major screw-up to pull that off. And, make no mistake about it, he's a major screw-up. And not very smart. And unethical. Other than that, he's a swell guy. 
  • The Republicans lost 27% of the house in the mid-terms. Oh, I'm sorry. Wrong election. That occurred under Abraham Lincoln. It takes a while for the "current" to be put into "historical" perspective. 
  • I've said it before, if the government tells me I can no longer sell my mineral rights to a fracking company, hasn't the government, legally speaking, "taken" my minerals without compensation?
  • Brian Knox has a column in the Messenger this week which begins "Dear APD:".  I think I'm a smart guy, but I have no idea what the heck he is talking about. It's written like a break up letter but he's clearly talking about some undescribed medical procedure. Someone over there clue me (and the rest of the county) in. 
  • Bad cop: A Grapevine police officer was placed on administrative leave after admitting to taking and ingesting K-9 training narcotics.
  • I've often wondered about cops stealing drugs.  If I have a client accused of possessing 2.5 grams of meth (a third degree felony) and the lab comes back with .9 grams (only a state jail felony), we probably aren't going to complain. And the cop can always say, "The 2.5 grams was the weight including packaging." 
  • "Alex from Target" was a marketing scheme? (And how do I know about Alex from Target? I have a teenage girl in the house.) 
  • Bowie had its first murder in 20 years.  You know, it's possible the guy could have claimed it was an accident (and he still might), but it doesn't help that you later burn the body. 
  • Looked up last night and Family Pup #2 had a diaper on. 

Above The Fold


Six In Ten Go Straight Ticket

And I expect that will mirror the final results. Edit: Those numbers are basically exactly what the final numbers showed.

I've never understood the straight ticket voter regardless of party.

Dancing Anchor Guy During Break Wrapping Up Your Monday

Side note: I bet she's the life of the party.

DPS Was Lying To You In 1974

So it's the end of August with around 1,550 traffic deaths in Texas. (I'm assuming "Major" Bell wasn't using fiscal year numbers.) So let's go crazy and assume it double by the end of the year to get us around 3,000. (That's what is was for 2009 and 2010, by the way.)

How many murders/homicides actually occurred in the U.S. that year? (Back up source with same number.)

Heck, there were 970 murders in Chicago in 1974.

David Dewhurst Won't Die!

In all seriousness, this better not be a widespread problem throughout Bexar County. Abbott could win without it, but still.

Edit: Reports are trickling in that we've got a photoshop hoax here.

Index 1956

This is for Bridgeport folks only, I suppose.  Heck, it may only be for me.

For my entire childhood and teenage years, Mr. and Mrs. Funk (they always let me call them G.B. and Norma Gale) were my next door neighbors. I got a kick out of coming across their wedding story. Lots of long time Bridgeport names in there.

There's not much else on the page other than a State Fair ad and an alert about an "apartment shortage" with instructions to alert the mayor if you have a place to rent.

Edit: And Norma Gale to the rescue in '74:

Senate Forecast For Tonight

Those are the States in play. Seven Democrat incumbents. Two Republican.

The "+" means the number of percentage points of the expected win. For example, in North Carolina, there is a 69% chance that the Democrat will win with the most likely margin being by 1% point of the vote.

Source: The great Nate Silver. (I don't know how he does it, but that guy is good.)

Did Someone Kidnap Tony Romo And Replace Him With A High School Kid?

Random Index Photo From 1974

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • Marshall ISD has banned tackle football for the 7th Grade. So it begins?
  • Mark Cuban gave another press conference while he was on the Stairmaster yesterday. How he isn't smart enough to know how embarrassing that looks is amazing.
  • The Republicans shouldn't worry about taking the Senate today. The Republicans should worry about the future if they can't take the Senate today.  If they don't, my long term prediction of "It's Demographics, People" has officially taken hold.
  • But LiberallyLean.com, based upon my own personal exit polls, has just projected Greg Abbott the winner in the governor's race. [Insert fanfare, a Texas flag, an eagle, and a cowboy here.]
  • On The Ticket's Hardline yesterday, all three guys (who are 45 years of age or older) did not know what time the polls close.
  • In of all the good economic news I put in a bullet point yesterday, I forgot to mention gas prices around $2.60.  (But I'm sure that number is the product of cooking the books and you have to pay more if you really knew what was going on.)
  • "Special prosecutors are claiming that Texas Gov. Rick Perry should not be given access to a grand jury transcript, citing 'concern' of retaliation against witnesses." Here's a little advice for the special prosecutors: Turn it over. You come across as unethical and scared little girls trying to conduct a witch hunt. 
  • Had an out-of-town lawyer come up to me and another Decatur lawyer in the courtroom during felony docket the other day and ask, "Could you point the prosecutors out for me?" I'd hate to tell his client, but that's not a good start. 
  • I watched a little bit of The Voice last night to watch Reagan James (she's from Burleson and the daughter of the former producer of the Mark Davis radio show.) She's great. But I think it was wierd that momma, who is smart, tweeted afterwards "If you could all spare $1.29 to buy my daughter's single [and] make her dreams come true that would be lovely. https://itun.es/us/Fp5U3  #TheVoice."  A note of encouragement wouldn't "make her dreams come true"? You have to monetize it? (Trust me, they ain't hurting for money.)
  • My prediction of the Cowboys winning less than eight games is still intact. But, man, if it came to fruition, we'd have the greatest meltdown in Cowboys history. And I talked to a guy in the courthouse yesterday who actually bet the Cowboys would win eight or more and he was very nervous. 
  • It's 23 days until Thanksgiving. It's 51 days until Christmas.
  • Remember all the ongoing court fights over Voter ID? Guess the number of official "voter ID" cards that Texas has issued? If you chose 340 you would be correct.
  • Motorcycle death in Fort Worth. Motorcycle death near DFW airport.
  • It really is Idiocracy when an endorsement by Chuck Norris actually has an impact . . . 


Firing It Up Early For Tomorrow

Reader Email


I read your blog everyday. So funny. Have you heard about the Jimmy Kimmel thing where he asks people to video their kids after telling them they all all their Halloween candy? its pretty great. So, I did it this year. Can you help promote my video. I live in Fort Worth.

Well, here you go. But I'm not responsible for what I believe to be the thrashing you are about to receive. Godspeed, sir.

Although it can come across as a funny bit when edited:

Time, Sadly, Marches On

I'm not saying that Car Talk was "must listen" radio for me, but I listened to it a heck of a lot over the years. I know nothing about cars, don't really car about cars, but the chemistry and the laughter between those two guys would put a smile on anyone's face.

They Be Pickin' On Tech!

London Paper 10 Years Ago Today


I Don't Care About The Mystery

. . . but TCU should go back to that logo. I've never seen that before.

Index September 1974

  • Squirrel!!!!!
  • The Sheriff not only won the lawsuit against him but avoided criminal prosecution.
  • Demanding an "immediate increase in milk prices to 90% of parity". What does that mean? 

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

  • I had the house to myself of Saturday. I cleaned out the refrigerator (including taking out shelves and drawers and washing them), mowed the lawn (for the final time), cleaned out the top shelf of my side of the closet, did touch up painting in the kitchen and the living room, and went and bought flannel sheets (washed them and put them on the bed). And that was all before 1:00 p.m. And then I did nothing the rest of the weekend.
  • I'll never buy another refrigerator with a stainless steel front. Or at least I won't buy one while kids are still in the house. What a mess.
  • I always have mixed emotions when I see the A/C guy show up at a neighbor's house. Sad for him. Glad it is not me. 
  • I thought Brittany Maynard, the "death with dignity" gal, was beginning to have second thoughts about ending her life. But she did it yesterday.  What a horrible story all the way around. 
  • If you want to see the BagOfNothing guy in drag (and who doesn't), check out this morning's blog. Hey, buddy, throw on a bikini and stand by a body of water and I'll make you tomorrow's Random Thought Girl.
  • Baylor allowed Greg Abbott to do the coin toss for the game on Saturday. Might as well have been an official endorsement. And he was at the Texas NASCAR race yesterday.  (But I'm not sure why he is campaigning in places where he already has 99% of the vote.) 
  • Bad Austin cops.
  • Sports: (1) College football is a razor thin game. If TCU misses that field goal at WVU, they are out of the top ten and and become an afterthought. He makes it and now everyone argues whether they should be in the top four. (2) That TCU/WVU game was a carbon copy of the Baylor/WVU game: WVU turning the ball over left and right without being harmed, going conservative in the fourth quarter, and still staying ahead. Except TCU was able to execute at the end. (3) Tony Romo's injury is exactly the same as Baylor's Bryce Petty earlier in the year. Petty missed one game. But there is something still not right about him. (4) Bet the house: OU is a 4 point favorite over Baylor. Take the Sooners. And I'm going to make that a triple play.  (5) Last year I fulfilled my promise of not watching one second of a Mavericks game. The same rule is in effect this year.  (6) Observation regarding the brawl between drivers and crew after the Texas NASCAR race: They fight like girls. (7) Ole Miss has to be reeling: Lose your best receiver and the game on your final play. (8) "Seventh-grader commits to play basketball for UT"
  • Low unemployment, no inflation, stock market at all time high, home sales booming. Blame the socialist Democrats. 
  • I knew the guy mentioned in the first paragraph of the Update. Worked for James Wood. Well liked. 
  • Associated Press story: "Border Patrol agents can stop and search vehicles without a warrant within 100 miles from the border." I had never heard that in my life, but it is in fact a federal statute. A statute which is clearly unconstitutional 
  • Another example of that goofy Texas Supreme Court judge on Twitter. 
  • I've got no control over the word verification for comments. Blame Google which cares very little about its blogger platform. 
  • After last week's rocket crash, I wrote that maybe the private sector isn't as good in space travel as the government. Someone commented that the private sector had never had a death in that endeavor. On Friday, it became one death for the private sector. Way to go.
  • Over the weekend, I had my "school dream" and dreamed I was the coach of a football team on camels.


Crazy NFL Play Of The Day