I am not going to ask for toys this Christmas. I am so over that. In the Bible it says, "when I was a child I spake as a child, and when I became a man, I thought the word spake sounded funny." I ask that you give all my presents to other kids this year, Santa. Preferably blonde ones from middle-class backgrounds.Full letter here. Funny stuff.
. . . is dumb as a box of rocks.
From Fox 4 News tonight: "[The DCSO] has a new way to motivate patrol officers: gift cards . . . . Five $50 gift cards will be given out to the officer that makes the most DWI arrests . . . . "
Sheesh. The winner gets $50 based upon arrests, not convictions. So what does he care if his cases eventually get dismissed or thrown out, he has an incentive to make an arrest.
Fast forward to a year later. It's a weak case. A trial is going on. The jury wants to rely upon the officer's judgment when he decided to arrest the defendant after the field sobriety tests. The guy looked OK on tape but the officer had to have seen something to make the arrest, right? Or was it the motivation for $50? Even good officers are going to take a beating.
I couldn't stand Bill Parcells when he was here, and I think he's full of crap now on ESPN. But I love this tidbit today from Jason Witten found here:
When word circulated last January that Parcells was officially resigning, the coach called the tight end into his Valley Ranch office. Jason, take it from here.
“I went in there expecting some kind of sad farewell, but his message to me was that I sucked. He gave me about 15 things I needed to improve on and told me if I didn’t do them I’d always be average. I didn’t know if there’d be a hug or anything, but I didn’t see it going down like that.”
The Fox 4 hosts always try to guess the age as the picture of a celebrity is flashed on the screen on his or her birthday. Today it was Jennifer Connelly. Then we had this exchange moments ago.
Tim: Now is she Mrs. Ben Affleck or is he Mr. Jennifer Connelly?
Chip: I think the former.
Krystle Gutierrez: Wrong Jennifer (almost inaudible.)
Tim: Oh, is that the wrong Jennifer?
Her: Yeah, that's Jennifer Garner . . . .
Tim: Oh, who is this one?
Her: . . . I don't know her that much, I only know her from Green Card.
Nope. That was Andie MacDowell.
Today or yesterday, Google Maps released "street views" for Dallas and Fort Worth. Basically, a high tech van drove down every street in Dallas and Fort Worth and took a 360 degree photo. You can go to any street and see what it looks like - just like you were driving or walking down it.
It takes a little experimenting, but the up and down and side to side arrows of your keyboard come in handy.
Here's a screenshot of the 7-11 at Western Center Boulevard.
Here. To get started, type in something like "Western Center Blvd. Fort Worth, TX". Search for it, then click "street view" and drag the little man anywhere there is a blue line.
Edit: Downtown Forth Worth
Edit: The neighborhood where the North Richland Hills lady was gunned down at her front door is here.
Ok, I'm trying to be nice. But tonight Fox 4 News did a follow up story to the very odd shooting in a nice North Richland Hills neighborhood. I did a double take when they interviewed this neighbor.
Saturday Night Live used to do a bit on a character called "Pat". And the bit was trying to decide if the character was a man or a woman. I did a double take when this person started talking and the old SNL skit came to mind. Then his name flashed up on the screen.
(And if you didn't hear his voice, this isn't nearly as funny.)
- As for one single season, Tony Romo's 2007 performance is the best by a quarterback in Cowboy history. Troy or Roger never played like this.
- Jason Witten is the best Cowboy tight end ever.
- I think I'd choose T.O. over Michael Irvin.
- Offensive Coordinator Jason Garrett has to be running this thing. Listen to the weekly interview The Ticket has with Wade Phillips and there is no way I can believe he's the mastermind behind this season. (Edit: And was Wade wearing an "Eastern Division Champion" t-shirt at the post game press conference?)
- I get this weird feeling about an upcoming playoff disaster like the Mavericks have perfected.
The Ticket harped this hypothetical on Friday and Saturday: What if you hit it off with this girl and she was everything you wanted her to be. And she was normal in every way with the exception of a couple of attributes that she has been gifted with. Could you date her? Could you take her out with your friends? Bring her home to momma?
(Apparently her name is Denise Milani.)
The Dallas Morning News had a story yesterday of some French name sounding guy killing a defenseless deer over in Jack County.
Verdict: Extremely Overrated. Watching people ride motorcycles and smoke pot is not entertainment. And you can't throw in some tragic ending in the last two minutes to save an otherwise boring movie.
Craziest Find: Tony Basil (yep, the Tony "Yeah, Mickey you're so fine" Basil shows up in the last fifteen minutes as a hooker.)
Noteworthy: Seeing a very young Jack Nicholson
Noteworthy #2: Seeing a young Dennis Hopper who looks old even when he is young.
Best Search and Seizure observation: Two guys riding motorcycles can get arrested in the Deep South and the cops never find the pot and LSD they have in their possession.
And that would be the half marathon. Little bit of rain in the forecast. I just want to finish without stopping. Wearing bib #10149 for coroner ID purposes.
Edit: Success. Finished in 2 hours, six minutes, and twenty seconds. Observations in a little bit after I recover.
- Shout out to faithful reader Rob Daniels of Decatur who actually spotted me in the crowd and said hello. He finished the half marathon in a very impressive 1:51:48.
- Sheesh, the results show that I was in the 66th percentile for my very old division. I don't believe that. I'm in denial. Hard.
- At the beginning, I decided to slow down just a tad to enjoy the race so I wouldn't struggle to much at the finish. Good idea. Last year I finished at 2:02 but almost died.
- My nemises Barron Green, I see, ran the full marathon this year and finished in just over 4 hours. Barron scoreboarded me.
- Holy crap. I looked up runners from Decatur and saw that high school senior David Cude ran the half in 1:12:32. That's a pace of 6:35 a mile for 13 miles!
- It rained like a son of a gun on my drive there, but only sprinkled briefly during the raise.
- It was in the 40s but I'll take it over 70 every time in a run like that.
- Cost $5 to park
- Victory Plaza at American Airlines Center, where the race began, is amazing.
- The announcer urged the marathoners to "huddle up" to stay warm. He then announced, "The only people that are still going to be cold are the Kenyans because they don't have any body fat!" Easy there, hoss.
- With the trees changing colors, it was fantastic. Heck, I'll go one step further: Of all the things I've done in my life, today may rank in the Top 10 moments.
- The first part of the race runs you through Uptown (passed all the high rise condos and the new Ritz Carlton), then you wind through Turtle Creek through million dollar homes. It is absolutely incredible.
- I saw Steve Eagar of Fox 4 after the race. He looked like he just got out of make up.
- There are a lot of women that run. A bunch of woman. I saw so many guys on the sidelines with kids holding signs that read, "Go Mommy!" Edit: The official results show that 56% of those that finished the half marathon were female.
- And sooooo many people turn out to cheer the runners on. Amazing.
- Grabbing a cup of water and drinking it while running is hard. Very hard.
- For me, everything changes at mile marker 10. Up to that point, I feel fairly normal. After that, I wonder if my body will give out.
- They open up the floor of the American Airlines Center after the race. Various vendors give away free samples - mostly apples and yogurt - but two or three high tone restaurants showed up with pasta samples. And, oddly, they give away free beer.
- I saw one guy curled up in the fetal position in the AAC and I was worried about him. But someone from the race came by to make sure he was OK.
- The race benefits the Scottish Rite Hospital which promotes itself as being "free". How on gawd's green earth is that possible?
- I couldn't have done what I did today when I was 25. But I bought a treadmill 12 years ago and have never stopped. It may have been one of my best decisions ever.