blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: 4/1/07 - 4/8/07

4.07.2007

Time For A Serious Easter Reflection

Screenshots From Tonight's Ranger's Game In Arlington





Two words: No way.

If You Watch The Masters Tomorrow . . .


. . . you'll see Stuart Appleby and Tiger Woods (sitting first and second place) battle for the championship.

I've always paid attention to Appleby after I learned his wife was killed in front of him in 1998 while she was unloading luggage from a taxi in London.

"It's the little things you miss the most," he later said. "Getting through the nights is the toughest part. Being alone. Not having her there to talk to."

I looked him up on the Internet and found out he remarried a couple of years ago. Good for him.

A (Better) Repost From Last Week

Russell Crowe Turns 43 Today


Russell Crowe if he were a cat:

Bill O'Reilly vs Geraldo Rivera

Basic facts: A drunken driver, with three previous alcohol-related convictions, who killed two teenagers in the Virginia Beach, Va., area last month and has been charged with manslaughter. This clip is from Thursday night. I love this description about it provided by someone else: ""This is [like] the courtroom scene from 'A Few Good Men' after a case of Red Bull with the volume knob cranked to 11."

What A Horrible Story . . .


. . . to wake up to. (Here.) The trooper I saw on the news said he didn't see any evidence that the 9 month old was in a car seat. I also saw them getting the female driver out of the car and she looked completely uninjured.

4.06.2007

God Blesses Baylor At Easter / A&M, Not So Much


On this, Good Friday, there were two important basketball announcements: (1) Baylor had signed its women's basketball coach to a 10 year contract extension (followed, presumably, by a celebration of grape juice in little bitty glasses) and (2) the head coach of Texas A&M, as a thief in the night, turned his back on the good Ags (and a few million dollars) to jump ship for the back woods of the University of Kentucky.

Obviously, God has spoken.

The Messenger And A Tough Situation

Being a fan of politics, the media, and all things that cock and eyebrow, I was very interested in learning how the Messenger would handle the resignation of Decatur baseball coach Glen Harrison. (Heck, I've had a tough time in handling the comments here.) It's about a touchy of a subject that has come along, and I'd liked to have watched the powers at the Messenger discuss "how in the heck are we supposed to handle this issue?" I'll just let you know that the Messenger will deal with the issue in its Saturday/Sunday edition but will place the story it in the Sports section on page 3B. However, to its credit, it will go pretty far in revealing the allegations citing "sources". It kind of looks like a compromise: We'll cover the story but we'll put it pretty far back in the paper. Overall, I'd probably do the same. And there is even a quote from Harrison. Seems like a good guy. Quite frankly, I feel sorry for him. I could just reprint it here, but I think that would be a crappy thing to do to the Messenger since, if you are interested, you'd probably spend 75 cents to read a copyrighted story. Once the story appears online, I'll link to it. [And no comments on this one - I get Tired Head filtering them.] Edit: I soooo screwed up Harrison's name in original post. Thanks to a commenter for pointing that out.

The Rifleman


Just blew past The Rifleman as I was channel surfing. Man, I loved that show as a kid.

But as I stuck around for about 10 minutes to watch Lucas gun down a bad guy (who was trying to steal a body in order to collect money as a bounty hunter - a very odd premise), I wondered: Has there ever been a man kill more people in self-defense than Lucas McCain? Ninety-nine percent of us will never have that experience, but Lucas killed somebody every week. All justified in the eyes of the law.

Not That Big Of A Deal

But it did my heart good to know the Gawker, the premiere blog of Manhattan, monitors The Today Show's Ann Curry annoying habits just like I do.

Man, That Was Miserable



As I was freezing hitting golf balls on the driving range before 8:00 a.m., one of my buddies said, "At least we know this is as bad as it is gonna be." "Right," I replied.

Wrong.

It was cold, but bearable, before 10:00 a.m and then the winds kicked up violently and we froze the rest of the way. It's not fun when you're wishing you were on the 18th tee box instead of the 12th. I don't remember any weather person warning me about wind. In fact, I specifically remember seeing "5-10 mph. NE" a couple of days ago. Uggh.

But my round was pretty much mid-season form for my first day of golf of the year. Threw together a couple of pars - I got the "stop posing" comment from one of my foursome after a tee shot that almost made me weep with joy, and then at other times I was the worst golfer in the history of ever: Slice out of bounds, duff it with a 7 iron making it go 20 yards, tee off at a right angle.

Edit: An the picture has nothing to do with my day other than both involve golf.

4.05.2007

Note

It'll be a little slow here on Friday since my office is closed and I'm going golfing for the first time this year. (Seems, quite frankly, a little wrong on Good Friday.) Anyway, one of my idiot friends has a tee time for us at 8:15 a.m. Sheeeeesh. I might update that silly Twitter thing during the day (Twitter was the subject of a Newsweek article this week, by the way). Otherwise, you're on your own. Be productive, will ya?

Reminded Me Of The Firefighter Below


(Just saw this on the Star Telegram.)

By Chance . . .


I just rented and watched the recent documentary called "Cocaine Cowboys" that, well, documents the rise of the cocaine trade in Florida in the 70s and 80s. Good stuff. One thing I'm a sucker for is a documentary that goes back and digs up old local news footage, and this flick had tons of it. In a nutshell: Our borders were open and bags and bags of marijuana came flowing in. So much that they couldn't sell it all. Somebody figures out that cocaine is worth more $$$$ and starts importing it from Columbia. The cops begin to crack down and the importing gets tougher. Then we have the Cuban refugee crisis which leads to a Cuban v. Columbian drug war. Murders. Cops on the take. Fast cars. Big houses. Disco. A Time cover story of "Paradise Lost". Good times.

By sheer luck, I rented "Scarface" next - A famous movie I've never seen. Heck, it all made sense to me. (And I finally learned where the line "Say hello to my little friend" comes from. )

Oh, My

Support firefighters.

Wheels Off - Literally

Wheels off moments in Jacksboro this morning. On the docket for a first appearance was a court appointed client of mine who was coming up from Huntsville (no jokes, please.) I got an odd courtesy call from Jacksboro PD while I was in the district clerk's office prior to court: My client had been arrested on a "bond withdrawal" warrant. Translation: She had bonded out of jail after her initial arrest but the bondsman got ticked off (normally for falling behind on payments) and then "went off the bond" which requires a warrant to be issued. So she drives hours to go to her court appearance in Jacksboro only to get stopped near the courthouse square and gets arrested. Did the cops know to be on the look out for her? I'm not sure. Normally you just wait for them to walk into court and then let the bailiff handled it with no fuss. What is very odd is that at least three different people (one from law enforcement) told me that her car had been repo'd. Not towed to a lot and impounded for the cops, but repo'd by a private finance company. I'm trying to figure out exactly how a repo man can find out about a traffic stop and tow a car all before 9:00 a.m. in the morning. To makes matters worse, her boyfriend - whom I have never met - finds me in the courthouse to tell me about his huge problem. He just rode to court with the newly arrested gal and now he was stuck in Jacksboro with no transportation. He asked me where the bus station was. After checking around, I had the joy of telling him, "there is no bus station." I think I saw the life force get sucked out of him at that moment. So later I'm sitting around in court on other matters when the deputies bring in this nicely dressed woman in handcuffs and sit her on a bench. I exchange glances of "who is that?" with the court administrator and we finally figure out it's my gal who just got arrested! (That's a new one for me: A person gets arrested on the morning of their court date only to make it to court in time.) I went and talked to her and we entered a plea of not guilty. (It was a dope case, by the way.) She was worried about her job and was admittedly confused about her situation - She bonded out, had paid most of the bond fee, and now gets arrested after driving hours to be in court. The bond, after all, was to secure her appearance in court. She's proven she'll show up in court - if we'll let her. After some discussions with the DA and the judge, we got her out of jail on a new bond and a new court date. That was a heck of a morning for her. I just hope she can find a way back home now that she doesn't have a car.

I'm So Mad I Can't Find It


Channel 21's news' team (they have one?) was covering the weather the other night and for some unexplained reason decided to take calls from the masses -- apparently to get a view of the weather from the man on the street. The first caller out of the box, a nice man with a bit of a country accent, said that it was really raining "in the flats where the black people live."

Pure gold.

I've heard it replayed a couple times on The Ticket and once this morning on KLIF. But for the life of me, I can't find it on the Internet.

Sometimes Prosecutors . . .


. . . pound their chest and talk about wearing the "white hats." Other times, not so much.

At least "Sky" was a cool name. That's about all he's got left.

4.04.2007

Wedding Bells

Well, it looks like Megan Henderson finally heard about my unhealthy infatuation with her and sent me an autographed photo. (Actually, it went through Sheriff David Walker who delivered it to me today. Man, that guy is connected.) But if you'll look closely at this scanned-in reproduction you'll see what looks like a little heart by her name. Yep, I think she's sweet on me.

Megan, I'll stalk you wait for you until you love me - because true love waits - at least for a couple of weeks. And if that funny-guy-anchor Tim Ryan tries to come between us, he's got another thing coming. Same goes for that soft spoken Jeff Crilley. (My voice is much deeper than his, and I won't get choked up like he does during sensitive situations. Does he really talk that softly in person?) It would be sooooo much fun to go out in Decatur. Do you like the Salad Wagon at K-Bob's? It's the best in town. Do you like chicken fried steak with lots of gravy? Afterwards, we could go to the new Lowe's and look at power tools and stuff. Hearts & Kisses, Barry.

Suddenly I'm A Chargers Fan


As the NFL team holds cheerleader tryouts and decides to put a slideshow of the event on its web site.

The Cheerleader From "Heroes" on NBC

My Rant . . .

. . . over the antics of Texas Supreme Court judge Nathan Hecht got me mentioned in the Messenger a couple of weeks ago. (That made me a little uncomfortable, by the way.) Anyway, it looks like I have even more to rant about.

Why Have I Never Heard . . .


. . . of Billy Joe Shaver but have sneaking suspicion many Wise Countians are familiar with his work?

Note to Self: Don't hang out Papa Joe's. (Story.)

I Think Cheerleaders Are Hot . . .

. . . oh . . . wait.

Well That Makes Perfect Sense To The Reader

If we were all insane.

Edit: Obviously, I've got to be careful with the Comments on this one. There's obviously a story behind the story, but until I know what it is, we'll play it tight to the vest.

Somebody Just Showed Me This At The Courthouse

I distance.

I'm Off To Jacksboro This Morning

Waste time to a very odd cover of Fergie's "My Humps" by Alanis Morissette.

Evaluating News


You see this headline, and you think some prosecutors put the beating to some guy.

But if you read the story, it was a huge loss. The State charged the guy with Capital Murder but waived the death penalty. That meant if the jury found him guilty, they would not even have had to deliberate on punishment because the Defendant would receive an "automatic" life sentence. That means he would have to wait 40 real years before he is eligible for parole.

Instead, after just 45 minutes, the jury found him guilty of the lesser offense of just "regular" murder instead of "capital murder". By doing so, there was no automatic sentence but instead the jury had to pick a number between 5 to 99 years or life in prison. They chose 20. He'll be eligible for parole after 10.

The defendant may not feel lucky, but that's a huge victory. (And kudos to courthouse reporter Melody McDonald who always seems to get the story right.)

4.03.2007

Remind Me To Ask Phil King To Introduce A Bill Requiring The Koran To Be Taught


(Story from the Star Telegram.)

We Are What We Elect.

Comedy

Two quick funny YouTube clips: - The coach of Florida pulls a practical joke at the beginning of Midnight Madness last fall as his Gators began their bid to two-peat - Today, the mayor of Cincinnati throws out the worst ceremonial first pitch in the history of ever.

What A Crock


I've heard WFAA'a Pete Delkus and whomever the weather guy is on Fox 4 News report tonight there had been "baseball size hail" in the metroplex. No freakin' way. If that were to occur, you'd know it. Cars would be completely destroyed.

The last time I remember baseball size hail was during Mayfest in Fort Worth about seven or eight years ago. I remember seeing a Mercedes in Decatur which had been caught in the storm - it was beaten to death.

This Will Almost Make You Think Bowling Is Cool

David And James

Channel 5's David Finfrock has been on the TV for about 15 minutes in connection with the tornado warning in Mansfield and South Arlington. The crazy part is that he keeps asking "James", who is off camera, for updates. Then James dominates the conversation as we get to see Finfrock standing in front of a radar and looking, presumably, at the mysterious (and still not visible) James. It's just very bizarre.

Barron

Those two or three of you that have a question mark form over your head when someone calls me " Barron" . . . well, it's a "call back" joke from here. Good times.

Welcome To Communist Russia

Lots of buzz today about a proposed bill in the Texas Legislature that would require a doctor performing an abortion to ask a series of questions to his patient [Edit: and to report the answers to the government] that includes (click to enlarge):
More small Republican government?

"You Guys Have No Idea What I'm Talking About When I'm Saying That"

Interview after Florida won the national championship last night. I suspect he might be talking about smoking a big ol' blunt, but that would be sheer speculation.

On my way . . .

. . to Fort Worth I saw that Rhome cam was set up under a bridge but outside the guardrail. I guess this is a way to bypass the red cones as mandated by TxDot.

Good Times


Saw this story this morning where Fort Worth district judge Elizabeth Berry sentenced some guy in a wheelchair to 15 years in prison. Sheesh.

Judge Berry and I became employees of the Tarrant County District Attorney's office almost 20 years ago. More specifically, we joined that office on the exact same day. I remember we, along with another new-prosecutor-to-be named Ann Box, were lined up in three metal chairs as a secretary curtly asked us questions so she could type up our official ID's. Questions of: Name, date of birth, height and weight.

Understand, the three of us had just met each other moments ago, but I had a feeling Elizabeth had a sense of humor. Anyway, as she was being asked the aforementioned questions for her ID, it came to the weight question. I can't remember now what she said, say "125", but as a joke, I leaned forward, looked at her with a cocked eyebrow, and in a sarcastic voice of mock disbelief said, "125?"

Elizabeth busted out laughing. Ann Box looked at me like I was the devil.

What A Screw Up


This morning at 7:00 a.m., The Today Show fired up while I was combing my golden locks in the bathroom. Mysteriously, I heard the audio go out only to be replaced by the National Weather Service warning and then quickly by the earsplitting Amber Alert sound. I walk out and looked at the TV only to catch the final seconds of a scrolling banner at the top that listed "Tarrant and Wise" Counties. Huh? A weather banner during an Amber Alert? Then, to confuse matters more, a pre-recorded voice came over the air to warn me of a child abduction in Italy. The voice even tells me the name (Jahmar Toliver) and date of birth of the abductor I should be looking out for.

Oops.

When the station broke for the local news at 7:25 a.m., anchor Deborah Ferguson had to tell me, "We need to let you know about a technical problem that happened at the top of the hour on NBC 5. An Amber Alert, canceled yesterday, aired on NBC 5 just after 7 this morning. This was a mistake. Maintenance crews are trying to fix the audio and video problems."Maintenance crews???? And no explanation of the scrolling weather bulletin that went along with it.

Anyway, Jahmar is probably face down on the concrete somewhere right now.

Sheesh, How Have We Survived Without It?


It's scary enough out there as a consumer of legal services. (Story.)

4.02.2007

My Beaten Down Life


So I walk out of the grocery store a second ago only to find a Suburban parked to my left. The rear door of that big rig on my driver's side was open with The Mom of said Suburban sticking her head into it. I could hear her talking to what seemed to be a child as she blocked my path to my front door, so I walked around to my passenger side, dumped my bag full of frozen food into it, and then walked around the front of my car to my driver's side door.

A slight pain, but no biggee.

So I get in and notice that the lady is still back there. Although I probably could have carefully backed out, I didn't feel comfortable doing so. Just the thought of some child barrelling out of the Suburban into my path was enough for me to be patient. One minute passes as I look into my driver's side rear view mirror. Maybe two. Sheesh. Come on lady, get after it.

Then I finally see The Mom get through with whatever in the heck she was doing and back away - only to then see a little six year oldish girl pop out of the open rear door and run to the front passenger door. Unfortunately for me, that front door that the little girl was to enter was closed. The obvious was coming. Before I could utter to myself, "Oh noooooooooooo", I heard the "BAM" of her throwing open the door (with the strength of Xena the Warrior Princess, I might add) as it to came crashing against the side of my family wagon - the product of a failed marriage of long ago, but I digress.

As I sit there shaking my head, The Mom adds insult to injury by leaving her shopping cart against my front fender. Certainly she, who could have afforded to lose a few pounds, didn't need the exercise of taking the cart the thirty feet to its proper recepticle.

Cue the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" music.

Even I Pause Sometimes





All of these headlines were collected over this weekend from the Morning News and Star Telegram. All of the stories accompanying them alleged that they cause of the incident was an allegedly intoxicated driver. Well, except the top one that was silent about the subject - but since it occurred at 2:00 a.m., it's probably safe to bet in that direction.

The worst one was the guy driving the wrong way on Central Expressway in Dallas.

"Hi, there. I'm Chris Hansen"

Nothing like getting busted for an underage gay meeting while wearing a University of Michigan cap. Thank goodness he wasn't a Baylor fan.

Just Got This In My InBox Regarding Cowboy's First Preseason Game


An afternoon game in August in Texas Stadium? We'll be lucky if someone doesn't die.

Edit: Ok, I'm an idiot. That didn't say a 3:00 p.m. kickoff. The story says that it will be on a "Thursday night". Still gonna be hot, though, since the sun will still be up come kickoff time.

McDepression


Just noticed that the Decatur McDonald's is closed for remodeling.

National Championship Game Is Tonight


For some reason, I choose to root for Florida.

I Barely Remember "Andy Keaton" . . .


. . . from Family Ties, but he got his arse arrested over the weekend. TMZ story here. ("Bonsall, now 25, was arrested Wednesday after his girlfriend reportedly told police he poured an alcoholic drink on her face while she slept, put her in a choke hold and threw her onto a bed when she tried to leave." That's wrong?)

But I've got one question: Are those fangs?

I Had To Go To Work This Morning . . .


. . . so I missed Beyonce performing outside at The Today Show (screenshot, above, is what I missed - I'm not sure when the lipstick exploded.) And it was a double dose of entertainment because Ann Curry was filling in as co-host. She was firing of vintage amounts of Fake Enthusiasm, and I'd of loved to have stuck around to catch more of it. But I did catch a segment of Al Roker explaining the tsunami (13 dead) that occurred on the other side of the world last night. That's right, Al Freakin' Roker explaining the science behind a tsunami. Kill me.

Hey, Now

"The Bachelor" debuts tonight on ABC, and I noticed her on the contestant list. I'm going to ask my law partner if we need another partner. Like, right now.

I Don't Watch American Idol . . .



. . . but I think this is the sister of the guy with the tricked up hair.

News Paris Hilton and Tara Reid Still Hot