I Wonder If Everyone Knew His Name

Norm Peterson: [Sam has raised the price of beer] I'm gonna have to figure out how much I can drink and still stay within my suds allowance. 
Sam Malone: [Norm punches figures into his calculator] What do you got? 
Norm Peterson: I'm gonna have to cut back 8.7%. It comes out to, uh... 
[Norm calculates more numbers
Norm Peterson: ...one beer every half hour. Guess I'm gonna have to drink a little more slowly. 
[Norm downs his beer in one gulp
Norm Peterson: [brief pause] Slowing down isn't so bad. 


Above The Fold

Cruz. Abbott. Perry. My head just exploded.

Whale Teases Kids

I saw a few seconds of this on the news last night. The whole clip is pretty funny. Stick with it. Slow start.


Once again, it was 50 years ago -- a much different political time and place -- but there are a couple of shockers in Shootin' Blind.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

  • A body was found in the Trinity River near Panther Pavilion. Wasn't one found last year around the same area? And you guys want to tube in that thing during concerts?
  • Earlier in the week: "A Collin County justice of the peace today found sufficient probable cause for Frisco police to continue their investigation into the death of 10-year-old Arnav Dhawan." That's the boy-preserved-in-the-bathtub case. A Republican judge in Collin County refused to rule in favor of a woman of Indian descent (despite the medical examiner not knowing the cause of death)? I'm shocked, I tell. Shocked. 
  • Wendy Davis is a goofball on every criminal justice idea she throws out there. Being "tough" on crime takes so much less brain power than being "smart" on crime. 
  • Maybe my Random Thought Girl concept is genetic
  • I've had the weirdest memory recall over the last few weeks. Things I hadn't thought about in over twenty years are suddenly flashing into my mind. Maybe it's because of all of those old Bridgeport Index covers I've been looking at.
  • Lee Ann Meador is listed in the obits. Dead at 51. Despite the last bullet point, my memory is completely failing me on her because I'm positive I knew her but can't recall how or when. (Someone tell me something about her in the comments. I won't even post them.) 
  • Jose Canseco thinks his daughter is a "Hey, Now." Creepy, but he's right
  • I think the news cycle on Ferguson is just about over with. Next crisis, please. 
  • I got a letter from Wise Electric Coop saying they were going to turn my $60 electricity deposit from the 1990s over to the state if I didn't claim it. I had no idea. I also have no idea where I put the letter which had instructions on how to claim it. 
  • Inside Ticket Reference: Whomever commented that they thought of the Corby brag montage and orchestra music when I wrote, "Let me tell you something, I'm a master tire changer", has made me laugh for two days. 
  • The Cowboys defense this season will be historic. Historically bad. Get the Benny Hill theme ready. The number of points they will give up will be mind boggling 
  • Heard on the radio that the Ebola doctor looks like the red headed G.I. Joe from the 1960s.


Hot Chick Responds To Guy's Matrix For Women

I posted it a while back, but some guy came up with a really funny (and very true) matrix for dating women. Now this gal comes along with her "oh, allow me to retort" video.

I've got a hot sports opinion: Women like this should not try to do comedy. If you're a female, you need to have a little bit of innocent mischievousness to you if you're trying to do a bit. You should not come across as humorless (bad for comedy), not send off a vibe of "I will kill you in your sleep the first time I'm angry with you", and not copy material without clever modification.  This gal is trouble. For you younger guys out there: Keep away from women like this. And to make it clear, I've charted it below for you on the original guy's matrix. You're welcome.

Forgot To Post This About My Flat Tire

I got home and glanced at the spare. At the very top, perfectly placed, was "LL".  It was so magical that it was like looking at a double rainbow.

Index Time

  • Mariners club - bring your own wieners.
  • Cosmetologists hanging out at the coffee shop.
  • Alvord death.
  • Preacher gets a mission trip to Jamaica but has to preach three times a day. 
  • Editor is sick.
  • A high jumper which I'm very worried about. 

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

  • I got the new tires yesterday. There's nothing particularly fun about such an experience.
  • The Family Pig has moved on. Someone sent a comment earlier in the week (didn't want it published) who said they had a farm in Wise County and would love to have the pig. It has been delivered (with the promise they won't eat it.) Goodbye, pig. You were cute but you were a mess.
  • Less than half of Fort Worth police officers don't live in Fort Worth. For Dallas, it is less than 25%. Source
  • Vince Young says he now wishes he had returned for his senior year at Texas. I said that in 2011.
  • I ran across a show called Bucket List Texas (a Texas travel show), and a commercial came on for Biggar Hats on the square in Decatur. 
  • I can't tell you how much fun I had writing yesterday's post about my flat tire experience. That part was actually created in the middle of the night when the I woke up and the bullet points began firing off in my head. 
  • Radio guy Mark Davis said this morning that we shouldn't presume we know what happened in Ferguson and should wait until we have all the facts. He then said that the cigars that Michael Brown stole were going to be used to make blunts.
  • I think Hard Knocks is so good. The most recent episode showed a scene where a doctor told a player that he thought is patellar tendon was torn. "Wouldn't I know that?" the player, who was in denial, said. The doctor then showed him the preliminary x-ray and tried to explain what looked wrong. "But it may be just the way you're built. We won't know until we do the MRI and can compare it to your other one."
  • Former Buffalo Bills QB Jim Kelley has been battling cancer but was diagnosed as cancer free yesterday. There is just something a little odd about all the hospital photos his family sends out. Just a weird "look at me" vibe at a time when you would think privacy would be important.
  • I'd hate to have a job where I could be fired for a misdemeanor arrest unrelated to my employment. Case in point: CBS 11's Brendan Higgins. (Careful, that's a link to the very volatile Ed Bark. Do not tell him he is wrong. About anything.)
  • I'm beaten down by the Ice Bucket Challenge. 
  • On The Ticket yesterday they talked about Nicki Minaj's new Anaconda video. I watched it. Good grief. I think late night Cinemax is tamer. 
  • You wouldn't think the father of the "affluenza" kid would be accused of something (impersonating a peace officer) that wealthy people normally don't engage in and not look particularly affluent. 


Criminal justice has come to this? Burn it down.

There's A "Black Open Carry" Group?

"Are you not entertained?" Oh, yes. I'm very entertained by this.

Random Index

There's nothing crazy about these issues (yet pretty fascinating), but my former classmate seems to be posting the front pages in chronological order and these were just posted. We are slowly moving closer to JFK's assassination, and even though I could go find that issue, I won't.  I like anticipation.

But I love the crazy writing style back in the day. There is so much opinion in every story. And "Shootin' Blind" was a 1960s version of Random Thoughts.  But I have noticed something: If some guy in town had become a new father, the editor would always mention that the guy had a "smile on his face" or "walked faster". It was just a simple way to say, Mr. X has had a new baby and I want you to know it.

Hey, you boys over at the Messenger: You might want to think about posting your archives for free. Throw some ads around them would be fine. But the old Decatur crowd would go crazy.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

  • I walked out of my office yesterday only to find I had a flat tire. What a beat down. What a momentary feeling of helplessness. Now before I get dog-piled, let me tell you, I am a master tire changer. I bet I did it five times in three years alone in the 1990s when I lived on a lake road near Chico that apparently was full of nails.
  • So I get the spare and jack out, glance at the owner's manual and get to work. But, for those who know me, I'm a white long sleeved, starched shirt and neck tie guy. It is August in Texas. So I sheepishly strip down to my t-shirt and dress slacks as I glance around. I'm embarrassed. That's just me.
  • Back to tire changing. One thing I hadn't counted on: I'm not near as strong as I was in the 1990s. I can't get all those lug nuts off to save my life. In fact, I can only get one to budge. And another thought crossed my mind: If I continue to pull on that little lug wrench with all my might, I've got this sneaking suspicion that a disc in my back will explode. I had back problems five years ago but none since then. You have that feeling sometimes that something is about to go wrong. I had that feeling.  So then I do something I hate to do -- call for help.
  • But I can't find local lawyer and friend Mike Carrillo's cell phone number to save my life, but I am able to send an email to his wife on Facebook who shockingly responds in a matter of seconds. I don't know why I thought about Facebook which I never really use other than it dawned on me she posts a ton of pics of her new grandbaby all the time. (Cute kid, by the way.)
  • I also realized something else: I ask for help so rarely that if I ever contact someone and tell them I "need help", it's like the cavalry comes running. "He'll be there in a few minutes," she writes (along with an "LOL").  The quick response may be because Mike Carrillo is my friend or because his wife told him, "Barry needs help so get your butt over there." Either explanation, at that moment, was acceptable to me.
  • Oh, and for you guys that don't think I know what I'm doing when it comes to tire changing, I wrote her, "If he knows what a cheater bar is, tell him to bring one." Ever try to get a lug nut off with a 12 inch lug wrench?
  • As I wait in the parking lot in both the heat and my slacks and t-shirt, the Chairman of the Wise County Republican Party drives by and hits the brakes. He smiles. He has evaluated the situation. "You gonna blog about this?" The fact that he stops and smiles comes as no surprise to those that know him and me. We are good friends because we aren't crazy. We talk for a second, he mentions a funny moment from a recent vacation, tells me he is hurt that I didn't call him before Carrillo, we laugh, and he makes sure I'm OK. It dawns on me that with all the hatred in the comments section on this here blog, real life is a much nicer place to reside in. He was on his way to a funeral visitation but would have driven me home or to Timbuktu if I had asked. Irony.
  • People mock lawyers. People mock small towns. I'm thankful for both at that moment.
  • Carrillo shows up within minutes, yells at me briefly for the overall condition of my tires, tells me he left to help me in the middle of his haircut, laughs at the factory jack I've pulled out of the trunk ("What crappy equipment. Sheesh. Freakin' Dodge," he says), and then proceeds to try and get the lug nuts off. Much to my manhood's security's delight, he can't get the first one off and says, "Those suckers are on tight." Thank god.
  • He then pulls out a can of WD-40 and a rubber hammer. "Stand back," he says. I comply. He then proceeds to replicate a member of a NASCAR pit crew and has the tire changed in a matter of minutes. (It wasn't a cheater bar, but it did the trick. I learned something about the use of a rubber hammer. I place that away in my mind.)
  • "Get those tires replaced. Don't be an idiot. And carry a can of WD-40." And he is on his way. It was like The Wolf from Pulp Fiction had shown up. I stand there in my T-shirt, dress slacks, and well oiled leather shoes looking ridiculous. I'm suddenly like Samuel Jackson or John Travolta before the water hose treatment. 
  • But before he runs off, I thank him profusely. I am a big fan of the expression of gratitude. I try to use it, uh, liberally.
  • And now on to our regularly scheduled program ...
  • Ticket fans: The Hammer via Twitter says he is working on his Masters Degree.
  • I can't remember which issue it is, but Texas Monthly had an excerpt of a new book about the Charles Whitman UT shooting recently. It was from the perspective of the victims on the ground and it was chilling.
  • Which reminds me, the three minutes of Full Metal Jacket where Private Pyle kills his sergeant, then blows his brains out and then the film cuts to the "Me love you long time" scene is an insane three minutes. (In an earlier scene the sergeant questions the squad about Whitman and proudly points out that "He was a Marine!")
  • "blank" was at the top of the blog? A person in the comments pointed that out yesterday. I never noticed because I rarely go to the home page of this thing. I had to actually jack with the html to make it go away and it felt like cutting the red wire or the white wire of a bomb. I didn't know what I was doing and was afraid it would explode.
  • Still obsessed with old Index issues. Ran across this one from early 1963 where the editor had a hot opinion about James Meredith entering Ole Miss (I'm not criticizing him, it was, after all over fifty years ago. His attitude was the norm.) But what does the prepatory phrase, "Now we've been eligible to smoke Viceroys for years" mean? That's driving me crazy. There also appears to be a reference to Bobby Kennedy causing damage to a presumably Bridgeport resident's car in Colorado. Love this stuff.
  • There's an article in today's Messenger about a police "surge" which should scare you if you read between the lines. 
  • I'm intentionally not posting a newspaper cover because of the cover of the New York Post. They may have crossed the line. Iraq is in chaos. ISIS is a bunch of barbarians. But that's what you get when you destabilize the most unstable area of the world. 


Above The Fold

The More Things Change . . .

From October 12, 1962 of the Bridgeport Index.

I'm Insane Now: Dog Pool Party

Introducing Big Chen From The University Of Texas

You want passion from the heart?

You want Nirvana grunge?

The guys got a ton of 'em. Has to just kill it with the ladies. And I'm about half serious. That's a heck of a bit he's got going.

The Best Thing You'll Watch All Day

I think my favorite part was, "I'm getting to be an old man. I need memories like this."

Is This Legal?

Craig Watkins, the Dallas DA who I often criticize, did this:

The forfeiture funds, money from seized assets — often from drug dealers — paid for $11,000 in car repairs and nearly $50,000 to the man driving the other car, which Watkins rear-ended. The wreck happened Feb. 5, 2013, on the Dallas North Tollway while Watkins, a Democrat, was driving to a speaking engagement at the Park Cities Club.

So he technically is acting in his capacity as DA when he causes a wreck. Does that allow the use of the forfeiture funds? Honestly, it smells bad but I'm not sure. But get this . . .

The settlement states that if the other driver spoke about the crash or disparaged the DA, he would owe Watkins $40,500. But Teresa Guerra Snelson, head of the DA’s civil division, said the money would have never gone to Watkins personally.

Now it's getting weird.

Random Bridgeport Index Page

There's nothing earth shaking about this page, but check out that revival ad.  Man, I bet that was some fire and brimstone. And how odd it is now to think that all of his words have now been lost to time. So many sermons these days are recorded and archived.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • I've never understood why grand juries simply just don't tell prosecutors "no" sometimes. They have that absolute right but don't seem to know it. And it's OK to say, "Technically this may be a crime but we really don't want to waste our tax dollars with a prosecution."
  • Caught part of the old Sin City over the weekend. I'm not sure I had ever noticed the very subtle use of color in a film which is basically in black and white. And I think Bruce Willis and Clive Owen are fantastic in it. 
  • ABC News' Elizabeth Vargas is back in rehab after only months of sobriety: "I dealt with that anxiety, and with the stress that the anxiety brought, by starting to drink."
  • Top three sayings that drive me nuts: (1) Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, (2) If you don't like Texas weather [blah, blah, blah]  . . . (3) Better to ask for forgiveness after the fact than permission beforehand. And it seems like those that say those things act like they are saying something profound that has never been said before. 
  • The news every year around this time about wacky State Fair foods beats me down as well. 
  • The Family Pup grabs her food bowl when anyone new walks into the room to try and trick them into thinking she hasn't been fed all day. We just stare at each other with me thinking, "I know what you're doing" and her thinking, "No you don't."
  • NFL Football: (1) A long time ago they asked coaches if they wanted to accept a penalty every single time. Somewhere along the way -- many, many years ago, officials began automatically making that decision unless it is a unique situation, (2) Advice for RG3 after watching the preseason game last night: Get down!!! (3) Johnny Football getting sacked and the tackler making the "money sign" made me believe in justice again, and (4) Johnny's in trouble again
  • It's odd to see First Financial doing TV commercials, and well done ones at that. I knew that institution when it was just a toddler.
  • President Obama made a statement yesterday on Iraq and Ferguson, and he looked incredibly beaten down. 
  • I got a renewed vehicle registration sticker in the mail, and I didn't send off for it or pay for it. It has my name and VIN on it so it is not a mistake. Is this part of the new system?
  • If I drop something off of a shelf, I have the greatest ability to catch it before it hits the counter/floor. I now laugh every time I do it because it is so ridiculous since I'm not particularly coordinated.
  • More signs golf is in trouble: "Adams Golf, a golf equipment maker, is closing operations at its two Plano facilities, two years after it was acquired by TaylorMade-Adidas Golf Co. in a $70 million deal. The closure will affect 138 workers."
  • There was a former judge on Fox 4 last night who was asked if it were possible that the judge in Rick Perry's case might dismiss one or both counts of the indictment for lack of evidence before trial. That's not legally possible. But the judge seemed to accept the question as valid. 
  • I've always been confused how a local government can impose a curfew in America. You're telling me I can't be on a public street in the United States of America?


Rick Perry's Criminal Defense Team Announced

And it's headed by a civil plaintiff's lawyer. Really.

Mentioned him here before. He's also the lawyer who paid $115,000 for an Aggie vanity plate. And he was featured in Texas Monthly for suing the creator or the Cadillac Ranch. I'm not exactly sure what his experience is in criminal defense, however.

Lady Gaga Ice Bucket Challenge


Oh, My

Ok, this one is a little personal. I've mentioned that I've had a classmate who posts the front page of old editions of The Bridgeport Index. This one just went up. I read through the "Shootin' Blind" column (which wasn't a bad bit by the way) and was mildly entertained. And then I came to the last paragraph.

Miss Texas Throws Out First Pitch

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

  • Fox 4's Richard Rose last night when talking about recent lightening strikes of houses: "One thing you've always heard it never take a shower during a lightening storm." Say what? Anyone else ever heard that?
  • The stripes on 114 through Grapevine are half white and half black. 
  • Funny observation one of my family members said yesterday as we celebrated my dad's birthday at a restaurant: "It must be 'Bring Your Daughter To Lunch' Day". But they weren't daughters. At least not the daughter of the person they were with. Funny. 
  • Other funny moment: My brother to his son: "You want to bet on that TCU/Baylor game?" Son: "Baylor will beat 'em by 30." Me (fairly quietly): "I don't know about that." Son (after hearing me): "They'll beat 'em by 20." Me: "I'm not sure about that either". Son: "Ok, let me think about this." Brother (to me): "You're not exactly helping me here."
  • O Brother, Where Art Thou? is genius. I see something new every time.
  • I don't understand those that think a police execution would be justified just because a kid steals a box of cigars -- especially when the cop doesn't know about the cigars. 
  • There was something wrong with Babe Laufenberg during the Cowboys' game on Saturday night. He was talking really fast with a high pitch and didn't make sense at times.
  • I woke up in the middle of the night on Sunday morning only to hear the unexpected rain come pouring down. Loved it.
  • If you're a 19 year old innocent looking white boy, you might want to rethink face tattoos. (Denton Book In Photo.)
  • Rick Perry being indicted will only help Rick Perry. But he does have to decide what facial expression to have in his mugshot. 
  • When I'm upset, I can't eat. I literally have to force food down. 
  • I watched about five minutes of the Mike Huckabee Show on Fox this weekend which included catching a crowd shot at the beginning. I was blinded by the whiteness. And no one is more uncomfortable and stiff in front of an audience that Huckabee. 
  • We still have The Family Pig. It spends most of its time outdoors rooting around but I looked up yesterday and saw it pressed up against the back door on two legs begging to come in. It has developed dog qualities. 
  • Fascinating: The acceptance rate for students of schools in the USA Today's Top 25 football poll. Stanford's number is stunning.