Kate Upton Taking You Into The Weekend

Crazy Train / Peace Train

I'm almost gonna side with the conductor on this one. Get off the tracks!!!!

If You Are On I-35 By Golden Triangle Boulevard

Things ain't good.

Edit: Hay bales. Who still uses hay bales? Edit: I'm under the assumption they are square bales, you dolts.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

  • The current "cops on steroids" scandal out of Arlington is scary to me. It would be like ADHD kids hyped up on Five Hour Energy. 
  • One valedictorian says the Lord's prayer during his speech, another comes out as gay, another goes off script in Joshua.  Everyone is a star in their own movie. 
  • The Paradise Model is now a Bridgeport Model and in some type of Maxim competition
  • Ran by WBAP today and heard some lady on there promoting Grapevine. Co-host Brian Estridge (I think) said there was a great place on the lake called Big Daddy's that didn't serve beer but "had beer" if you "made a donation." I'm sure they will appreciate the TABC raid this weekend. 
  • If the Republicans shoot down the immigration reform proposed by the Gang of Eight, they might as well concede every presidential election in the future. 
  • Are the NBA Finals fixed in order to get to seven games?
  • The Fifth Grader In The House made enchiladas shaped like giant raviolis. 
  • The Sophomore In The House made an Alzheimer's joke about me the other day. 
  • I always joke to Mrs. LL that "they grow up so fast" but, you know, it's true. 
  • I watch the Travel Channel or the like and say out loud "I want to go there" all the time only to realize that will probably never happen. And that's after planning the last 25 years in order to make it happen. 
  • I was stunned by the opening entry in the Update today. But I want to know the back story and how the Rangers got involved in what is probably, if anything at all, a minor drug thing. Was he targeted? And why? The War on Drugs destroys lives while keeping others employed. Edit: I'll overly censor comments on this one. 
  • Help me out with the dishwasher: When it drains into the garbage disposal (which is not clogged - I swear), it backs up into the sink so bad that it can cause the dishwasher to overflow. But if I sit there and fire up the garbage disposal when the back up begins, all is well. And with the dishwasher off, I could run the faucet into the sink all day long without backup. Help me Bob Vila!
  • The Supreme Court ruled yesterday that Oklahoma cannot be forced to sell Texas water.  I'm not sure we understand the water problem that the metroplex is about to face.  (And Lake Bridgeport received a haymaker because of that ruling.)
  • Amanda Bynes tweeted that she wants her nose to like that of Miley Cyrus' after Bynes has her "surgeries."  Cranking up the crazy. 
  • Beginning on September 1st, state "boot camps" will no longer be a sentencing option in Texas criminal law. I've never even heard of someone being sentenced to a boot camp so maybe that's why it is going away. 
  • If you're a fan of documentaries, you know why this is a clever headline . . . 


And Now For Something Completely Different

I heard this on The Ticket this week. It's both funny and fantastic.

Crime Keeps Getting Weirder

And then, of course, you must do this . . .

Star-Telegram story.

Good Puppy Dog

Mercury News – A mid-morning stroll in downtown San Rafael nearly turned disastrous when a 93-year-old woman drove backward down a sidewalk, narrowly missing two employees and a dog from Guide Dogs for the Blind.”It was just an unbelievable sight to see something going backwards, barreling down the sidewalk,” said Todd Jurek, a training supervisor for Guide Dogs for the Blind. He quickly herded the fellow employee and dog out of harm’s way when he noticed the dog jerk its head to look behind them. Jurek, 48, of Petaluma, said he was spotting Alvarado, who was blindfolded, and assessing O’Neil’s guide dog skills when he noticed O’Neil turn around to look behind him. When Jurek looked back to see what had caught O’Neil’s attention, he saw a black car headed straight for them.The investigation is continuing, but the preliminary theory is that the woman put the car in reverse instead of forward, and the angle of the wheels sent her up on the sidewalk, Aguilar said.

Pretty good reverse driving by grandma.

And Another: California


Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

  • Gigantic media news: Belo Corp., which owns WFAA Channel 8, has been sold to Gannett. (I could have sworn Belo owned The Dallas Morning News as well but it was "spun off" into A.H. Belo in 2007.) I'm not sure how this sale will impact Pete Delkus.
  • Random stat out of Waco: "Indictments alone jumped from 1,600 in 2010 to 2,500 in 2012." That's not an increase in crime. That's an increase in crappy cases being filed.
  • I've never cared for almost any of the super hero movies.
  • For the first time ever: "More white people died in the U.S. last year than were born." And the demographic change continues at a faster pace than anyone predicted. 
  • I'm in the flute shopping business. Well, I'm in the funding of the flute shopping business now. 
  • Rick Perry signed a bill allowing "Merry Christmas" to be said in public schools. The Union has been saved!
  • Fox 4 had a graphic this morning showing it to be 785 degrees.
  • A lot of Texans who hate the big federal government are sure mad that FEMA won't give a big bag of money to West, Texas. 
  • Crazy DWI crash in Carrollton: Guy runs into a tree. Takes off on foot.  Buddy comes to pick him up. Buddy smashes into alleged drunk driver in middle of road. Drunk driver gets in car and they take off. Both get caught. 
  • I've never heard of NASCAR driver Jason Leffler but he died last night at the Bridgeport Speedway. (Not our Bridgeport Speedway since we don't have one.)
  • Mrs. LL and the Girls are cleaning out the garage. Somehow this is an all week project. But, yes, I'm thankful. 
  • My continued obsession with Chris Davis: He now has 21 homers and batting .338. Josh Hamilton has 9 home runs and is batting .217.
  • Basic story of the girl who "escaped" yesterday in Wise County. She pled to a misdemeanor drug charge in January and received probation. She allegedly did something to violate the probation so a warrant was issued late last month. When she goes for her monthly report to probation, they tell her she has a warrant out for her. She takes off. She was looking at a year in jail. (And the drug charge was for possessing prescription drugs without a prescription -- a crime committed by almost everyone you know at one time or another.)


"Local" Employment News

No comedy here. It just occurred to me that there seems to be lots of huge hiring going on. And I think I'm missing another company that just made an announcement.

Thanks commentor. This is the other one from just a couple of days ago.

Edit: And another

Did We Have A Jail Inmate Escape Today?

Artist's rendition of what maybe fake escapee looked like.

I've had two people mention that it happened and that Grace Baptist Church was "locked down".

But I haven't  received any emails or texts about it. And nothing on the Messenger.

"That doesn't make sense."

Edit from the email bag:

Picked up my daughter from daycare at the old elementary school and they were on lockdown because a female prisoner had escaped or gotten "lost" from the courthouse. Surprised no one has posted about this since they supposably were doing door to door searches for her

Edit: The Messenger finally had the story yesterday evening. 

That Whistleblower Lawsuit In Decatur Just Settled


And to answer the obvious questions: "The state’s whistle-blower act allows a government employee to file a lawsuit in any county within an established council of governments where he or she lives, such as the North Central Texas Council of Governments, which includes Tarrant and Wise counties."

Breaking: FEMA Don't Like West, Texas People


And look what I'm doing here because I'm fair and balanced. Here is an excerpt of President Obama's address at Baylor during the West Memorial Service:

And to the families and neighbors grappling with unbearable loss, we are here to say, you are not alone.  You are not forgotten.  We may not all live here in Texas, but we’re neighbors, too.  (Applause.)  We’re Americans, too, and we stand with you, and we do not forget.  And we’ll be there even after the cameras leave and after the attention turns elsewhere.  Your country will remain ever ready to help you recover and rebuild and reclaim your community.  (Applause.)

Weirdest Thing You'll See All Day

Michael Jackson's Bedroom Pictures

There's some civil trial going on regarding the responsibility of Michael Jackson's death. These photos are now part of it.

I have three rules in the house: Don't bad mouth Paul McCartney, Steve Martin, or Michael Jackson. I catch a lot of grief for that last one.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

  • Gov. Perry continued to honor the constitutional right to abortion by adding various unconstitutional anti-abortion bills to the just announced Special Session. At least he's consistent. 
  • I could see Rick Perry selling gold in late night commercials some day. At least when Texas becomes  a blue state in, say, ten years? 
  • Google's CEO in 2009 on the issue of privacy: "If you have something that you don't want anyone to know, maybe you shouldn't be doing it in the first place." Kill me. 
  • Lots of focus is on the NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, but I'm stunned to learn he actually worked for a private contracting firm, Booz Allen, who has 25,000 employees and was hired by the NSA. With $1.3 billion in government contracts, Booz has a Vice Chairman  who bounces employment back and forth between the NSA and Booz and who has churned the Booz stock for $1.8 million this year
  • The rest of us who get up and go to work are just suckers, right? 
  • A Wise County church is inviting people to a Father's Day service with a chance to win Rangers baseball game tickets and a Chevrolet Silverado. 
  • Some TCU kid helps T. Boone Pickens nephew get high but unfortunately the Pickens boy dies. So what does the Tarrant County DA's office do? Indict the kid for murder.  
  • Mrs. LL has discovered three mice in the garage and a little hole they are getting in and out of it. She wants me to get them out without killing them. 
  • Dallas motorcycle death last night was described as "horrific". (Link with photo.)
  • Get ready for a day of people twit-picking pictures of their car temperature gauge.
  • There was a pretty good baseball brawl last night. 
  • The Mom and Kids In The House have a list of house projects for the summer. Let's see how that goes. 
  • Dallas pool party "Hey, nows" . Here. Here. Here. Here
  • I love that Wise County judges specifically tell jurors not to read "the local blog" while a trial is going on. 
  • The Fort Worth Weekly is doing day by day coverage of the whistleblower trial going on in Decatur.
  • Bad cop? An Arlington officer being investigated by the FBI for computer fraud killed himself.
  • Dumb cop: Arizona cop arrests a guy for DWI despite having an alcohol concentration of 0.00. He must be on drugs then, right? So the cop brings in a "Drug Recognition Expert" who checks him out and says, he ain't high on drugs. 
  • Funny: Star-Telegram opinion piece accidentally quoted Onion-like fake stories to support its position on graduation speeches.


The Girlfriend Of The NSA Whistleblower Is A "Hey, Now"

The debate is going on as to whether Edward Snowden is a hero or a danger to national security. This settles it. Get that guy the Congressional Medal of Honor. 100% American.


Muscle Flexing

Our own Phil King has been trying to get the Austin DA to resign ever since her DWI conviction a couple of months back.  To screw with her in general, he even tried to move the Public Integrity Unit out of her office. ("Oversight of the Public Integrity Unit, which investigates public officials for ethical misconduct, has become increasingly political over the past decade. While every district attorney in the state has authority to investigate public officials, the DA in heavily Democratic Travis County is the only one that gets state funding to do so.")

Now Gov. Perry is trying to force her out (even though there is currently a lawsuit pending to do just that.)

This Was Well Designed

Even after reading a news article about it, I'm still not exactly sure what happened. (But don't stop watching too soon.)

It Looks Like This Case Is Getting Started In The Courthouse Today

More background. (As always, if you're on that jury "please honor the admonishions of the Court.")

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • Maybe this PRISM thing won't be the controversy I thought it would be. There's just way too many people on the Right saying "If it saves lives, I'm ok with it." Incredible.
  • Newsweek had a cover in 1970 proclaiming "Privacy Is Dead".
  • Mrs. LL and I were talking about how silly robbing banks and convenience stores is since the cash is limited and the surveillance is great. "If I were going to do something, it would be big and secretive," I said. We then in unison said, "Like moving a decimal point over one position?" -- a reference to Office Space.
  • Mrs. LL also claims that if she ever committed a crime she could absolutely cover her tracks and never get caught. She also warned me not to quote her because it would damage her ability to get a way with it. 
  • I was on 287 yesterday and was by an eighteen wheeler who had a tire blow out. That is wuch a shocking experience. 
  • Northwest ISD Superintendent will now make over a quarter of a million dollars a year per the Update.
  • Man, those Fort Worth cops and alcohol: One was arrested for Boating While Intoxicated while another was in a motorcycle crash where drinking is suspected.
  • Very Inside Sports: (1) I think college football prognosticator Phil Steele is brilliant, (2) I think Randy Galloway just churns out the obvious with a cutesy writing style, (3) I don't understand 90% of the college football website Every Day Should Be Saturday and that upsets me, (4) I'll admit to watching portions of this NBA Finals, (5) The Fan's Bryan Broaddus never says anything definitive, (6) The only thing I watch on Sports Center is the Top 10, (7) ESPN's Mike and Mike in The Morning is an automatic punchout for me with 15 seconds. 
  • I was walking around the block last night and ran into Mrs. LL who was dropping one of the kids off at a neighbor's house. I had on black socks, tennis shoes, plaid shorts, and a 2011 half marathon shirt. "It's not like I don't have style," I told her. "It's that I'm too old to care."  She told me I might want to start caring. 
  • If you are planning on going to Mumford and Sons tonight: (1) What's wrong with you? and (2) No you're not
  • I've stuck with my x-box workout and haven't returned to running. Makes me a little sad. There's something about the running isolation with is soothing. 
  • Tebow to Boston!


Chad Johnson Avoids Jail. Slaps Lawyer on Butt. Judge Gets Pissy And Sentences Him to 30 Days.

"Good job. Good effort."

TMZ — Chad Johnson was just kicked out of a Florida courtroom … after the former NFL star playfully slapped his male lawyer’s ass — a move that ENRAGED the judge, TMZ has learned. Johnson was in court in Broward County, FL to face the judge for his recent probation violation in his domestic violence case. During the hearing, the judge and Chad’s lawyer were about to finalize the terms of Chad’s punishment — terms that were pretty favorable to Chad. But the whole thing fell apart at the last minute, when the judge asked Chad if he was satisfied with his attorney — and the ex-NFL star reached back and playfully slapped his lawyer’s ass. Chad smiled … the court erupted with laughter …. but the judge wasn’t amused. In fact, the judge found the move disrespectful — and lashed out at Johnson … asking him if the whole proceeding was a “joke” to him. Johnson replied, “I had no intent to make this a joke, because my life is in shambles right now.”

Man, this judge needs to lighten up. Big time. (But I think my favorite part is the bailiff turning around and smiling.)

News I Missed: Wise County Has Gravel Trucks

Not a scene from Stephen King's Maximum Overdrive. Or is it?

Story with a slideshow.

"Get ready to get tazed"

Truer words have never been spoken.

This guy out of Cleburne is yelling about police brutality. I'm not buying it.

Prop Accident

I was going to yell at him, but I couldn't even see the prop.  Those ultra-lights are just intrinsically evil. Death machines even on the ground (although this guy didn't die.)

And it was the first time I thought about the Dallas chick which waled into a propeller a couple of years ago. Not bad.

French Open

I would have ran off the court like a school girl. You have no idea what that nutcase had in mind.

(Fast forward to 1:30.)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

  • Insomnia, even for one night, will really mess you up. It made my weekend a beating. 
  • The NFL Network has been replaying the more than decade old series of Hard Knocks with the Cowboys. It is fascinating watching a bunch of guys with hopes and dreams when you know what actually happens to them.
  • Mrs. LL told me this weekend she really likes Bob Dylan. I had no idea. 
  • Mrs. LL told the kids this weekend that it was going to be "hard week" because the house was going to be cleaned fro top to bottom. I can only hope. 
  • Every time I watch a high profile tennis match I get hooked in.
  • I watched some "unsolved mysteries" type show on the Lifetime channel this weekend, and it focused on a lady who was hit by a cigarette boat on Lake Lewisville in 1995. I had always heard the lady was terribly disfigured but she is beautiful
  • Unrelated: Erin Brockovich was arrested for Boating While Intoxicated.
  • I've got a bad habit of forcing Mrs. LL to watch things on TV that are important to me. 
  • ESPN promoted and showed a long sit down interview with Tiger Woods last weekend. Although it would violate every journalistic rule, do they secretly pay him for that?  Twenty years ago I would say "no way." Now I'm not so sure.
  • I've got a friend who broke his clavicle in a bike accident last weekend and now is at Disneyworld with his family on a pre-paid vacation. 
  • One summer I came up with my own baseball game that I played by myself using a tennis ball that I would throw against the back brick wall of our house. The rules were ridiculously complicated. But I remember I threw the ball so often that all the fuzz wore off the ball to the extent it ended up looking like a racquetball  ball. 
  • My post about the alligator gar catch became a story on Fox 4. 
  • Several of us in the courthouse were trying to figure out if the clavicle is the same thing as the collarbone. 
  • Man, what I would give for summer vacation -- not the trip type but the school's out type. 
  • I was wrong about Joshua ISD cutting the mic of the Valedictorian. But it seems like they let everyone know in advance that would be done if anyone deviated from their pre-approved speech regardless of the content of the deviation.