blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: 11/30/08 - 12/7/08

12.05.2008

A Lawsuit I Might Even Support

I like Coldplay's Viva La Vida. I have never heard of Joe Satriani. Well, Joe has sued Coldplay claiming they stole his song released in 2004. Me, being me, was skeptical. Well, I'll be. (Link takes you to a youtube comparison of the two songs.)

Oh, My (Again)

There was a horrible crash on 183 about a month ago that shut down traffic all night and all morning long because a person had been ejected into the other lane of travel. It was awful. News comes today that the victim had just finished taping a new MTV reality series (which is a little dicey in nature). MTV plans on airing the show. (Thanks to an unidentified individual at Fox 4 News for tipping me off to the new story via email.)

Decatur Beggar Spotted In Metroplex

The guy that can often be seen off of FM 51 in Decatur has been spotted off of Hulen in Fort Worth (thanks to a camera carrying faithful reader.) He was last seen in Haltom City.

And Another

Story. This girl? That can't possibly be a crime!! Hang on, baby! I'm packing my brain with all sorts of legal tricks, and I'm on a plane this afternoon. If it takes having the judge release you to my (very) protective custody, so be it. Justice requires sacrifices.

Now For Something Completely Different

Even though I'm growing my own hair out like Samson, it drives me nuts when football players have those crazy dreadlocks coming out of the back of their helmets. Well, last night, the stars aligned and some spare Rutgers player was dragged to the turf by his curly locks. Justice. Not denied.

Love, Actually

No jokes. No bits. Just saw this a second ago and it reminded me how much I love this Christmas movie and especially the opening sequence.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

  • Man, I don't recall a double murder + suicide happening in Keller in August but the Keller newspaper, as reprinted in the Star Telegram, has a crazy story about it today.
  • New national unemployment numbers come out this morning. Let the implosion continue.
  • I've decided I love the cold but I don't like it cold and windy. (I probably already knew this, it just takes me a while to remember it every fall.)
  • Too many people take themselves too seriously. I couldn't live like that.
  • You know, President Bush's new house isn't as nice as you thought it would be. But some Realtor on Fox 4 last night probably stretched it when she called it "Just an average home for an average person."
  • Some parents in Rowlett are objecting to the high school's drama department wanting to put on the play Rent. As much as I think high school kids today are knuckleheads, I think they can handle Rent without immediately going out an engaging in gay sex and drug use.
  • I just expressed that hot sports opinion without ever having seen Rent. (But I did see 525,600 Minutes performed on Good Morning America once and loved it. )
  • I downloaded the new Fray song, "You Found Me." I'm not sure what it is about that group, but it's pretty much the only band that will stop me down.
  • I'm still mad that the White Rock (Half) Marathon sold out before I could sign up. I'm not going to do it, but I guess a person could just show up at the event and run. I mean, could they keep you from running on public streets? Is this Russia? (No, Danny, it's not Russia.)
  • The TV show Scrubs ran a commercial last week involving a flatulence joke with sound effects. We are entering the age of Idiocracy.
  • There is nothing funny about this youtube clip of a man almost crying over the closure of a library. Well, almost nothing. Wait, that is funny.
  • I can't remember the last time I was in a library.
  • Do they still use the Dewey Decimal System? And was that such a great system anyway?
  • To be such a superpower, we would be pretty helpless if India decides to nuke Pakistan. (And, sheesh, Pakistan is one wheels off country.)
  • I still like the up to the minute public timeline of Twitpic (showing pictures that are being uploaded, normally from cell phones, right now) but it's also kind of neat to see all active calls that the "Dallas Fire and Rescue" department is dispatched to at this very moment. Does that make me a voyeur?
  • Upon reflection, I'm surprised Obama's "redistribute the wealth" comment didn't hurt him more than it did. I understand it, but it's just the sort of thing that changes a campaign.
  • I've had an interesting week.

12.04.2008

Oh, My

When I propose to a gal I met on the Interwebs who is a 22 years old, 4'11" and 93 pounds, I think I'll do it in West Texas. Story.

W's New Dallas Home

8,500 square feet. (Source.) But, wow, check out that link to follow another link to the house of his neighbor, Tom Hicks. Sweet.

Anybody Want To Buy A Few Hotels in Decatur?

That Was Then
This Is Now
Story Tommy Lee Jones is not pleased with you. And oil dipped below $44 a barrel today.

Thursday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Kate? You know, I kinda liked the little chubby Kate from Titanic more. Wait. I take that back.

Good News: Don't Worry About Your Tax Bill

I was driving the family truckster down the road this morning (foregoing my normal routine of listening to Barbara Streisand or singing show tunes) when I heard KLIF play this audio clip. It's apparently a few months old but I had never heard it. And, man, I love the reporter. Bad tie. Good question-asking-person. And in the words of former Dallas Cowboy Darren Hambrick when he was asked why he had skipped the voluntary mini-camp of the team, "What do voluntary mean?"

Hey, Now

Random Wednesday Thursday Morning Thoughts

  • I really don't like Cynthia Izaguirre from the Channel 8 morning show.
  • Right next to the the driver's license hearing building in Fort Worth that I go to all the time is a Planned Parenthood office. Every now and then I see a very stressed young girl go in and out of there, and I always feel concern for them
  • You'll never find a blind and deaf man in prison.
  • Anybody having trouble selling a home in Wise County? It seems like I see some with "for sale" signs up for almost a year.
  • Note to City of Decatur: I saw one of those Christmas banners blow off a light pole by the courthouse square on Sunday. I picked it up, folded it, and placed up by the courthouse door. Let's just say that I became the leader for next year's "Citizen of the Year" award.
  • Christmas should be every other year.
  • Finally met my out-of-state client yesterday. Nice and cute.
  • I read in one of the news magazines that the kid that was expelled in the "Bong Hits For Jesus" case (the one that went to the Supreme Court) is now in China "teaching English" and "learning Mandarin Chinese."
  • Facebook is a little confusing. A lot going on there.
  • Tech coach Mike Leach is being courted by Washington and Auburn. I think that Washington job would be a great gig. I was in Seattle one time and found the city to be great.
  • Delicious: The forecast for the Dallas game at Pittsburgh on Sunday is 28 degrees with a 40% chance of snow.
  • I can no longer read without reading glasses. Three years ago, I didn't even own a pair.
  • Pacman Jones wore Homer Simpson pajama pants to the Cowboys practice yesterday. (Photographic evidence.) Coincidentally, I wore Ned Flanders underwear to work.

12.03.2008

What The? The Wise County Sheriff's Office Has A Myspace Page

Link. Uh, the background music is "I Shot The Sheriff (but I did not shoot the deputy)."

I Never Post Things Like This But These Are Strange Days

Rules: * Grab the book closest to you. Now. * Go to page 56. * Find the 5th sentence. * Write that sentence and incorporate yourself if necessary (i.e. Change "Bob stopped, sighed, and walked on" to "I stopped, sighed, and walked on.") * Don't go looking for your favorite book, or the coolest one you have -- just grab the closest one. (Someone was doing this on Facebook. Thought it was kind of neat.)

The Amazing Mr. J.P. Hayes

I've always wanted to be a professional golfer -- an odd desire for a guy who rarely plays. And when I do, I'm horrible. I'd probably struggle to break 90 even after a few rounds of practice. But the PGA looks cool. Fancy courses. Fancy hotels. Cool clothes. Some buddy of yours to carry your bag. One guy that has made the PGA tour in the past is J.P. Hayes. I really don't know much about him other than to know he had a horrible year last year and was going to have to jump through some hoops to stay on the main tour. And the hoops are hard to navigate: It's something called "Q School" which, I think, is basically a multi day tourney of the greatest golfers in the would who are not part of the PGA Tour. The top 25 earn their PGA card which is like a baseball player being called up to the major leagues. Hayes' first round in the Q School tournament, which was played in McKinney last month, had gone well. And he sat in his hotel room that night reflecting on his performance. Perhaps reflecting too hard. There, alone, he discovered that on one hole he had used a golf ball that was not approved by the PGA. Big deal? You bet. He had signed his score card that day which means that the use of the ball would cause him to be disqualified from the tournament. That is, if anyone found out. So what does he do? He picks up the phone, calls an official, and reports his mistake. Disqualification, and with it his chance to be a member of the PGA tour next year, was fast and swift. The guy won't starve. He's made a fortune in golf and he'll get to play in some tournaments next year because he's a past winner or because he'll get a "sponsors exemption." But, still, what a story.

Mind Bursts

  • I tried to take a picture of the text of the 1979 Dave Campbell magazine I mentioned this morning, but the glare was killing the shot. (I don't have a scanner hooked up right now.) I'll get it done.
  • There's some show on Fox right now about a millionaire going "undercover" to work as a common man. Not a bad theme.
  • I ate a 7-11 sandwich in my car today. Not-a-good.
  • Someone met me yesterday for the first time after reading this silly blog for about a year. The main observation: The fact that I have as thick of an accent as I do.
  • I don't know what I'm going to do with my Netflix account. I can now watch programs recorded on a DVR on the TV in front of my treadmill. That's the only time I used to watch movies.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

  • That's new Britney Spears up there. Man, the girl has made a heck of a comeback.
  • I've never stolen anything from a store.
  • I did look down in my shopping cart in the parking lot one time and saw a bar of deodorant that I didn't scan through the self check out line. That felt like stealing.
  • I recently went in the Dublin Sports Bar (or something like that) right by Posadas restaurant off Western Center. Verdict: Festive. Wheels off crowd. Waitresses in school girl skirts.
  • Tense read: A Houston prosecutor who had his own silly little blog is given the pink slip and writes about the day.
  • Last weekend, that crazy Silicone Alley wrote that she visited a girlfriend in Houston, went to the Galleria, and saw her purchase a pair of $700 shoes. There should be a verse in the Bible calling that an "abomination."
  • I got hired over the phone a few months back by an out-of-state college student on a misdemeanor charge. I worked the case out very favorably, and she's coming into town today to sign off on the plea bargain. It's very weird to meet a client for the first time on the last day that I'll represent her.
  • Baylor snuck into the Top 25 Basketball AP Poll. As much as I want to care, I don't.
  • The Ozzie Osborne commercial where he has to text what he is saying is very funny. (Never mind how he knows the number of the folks he's trying to talk to.)
  • I've never seen Blade Runner.
  • I doubt if I'll put a Christmas tree up this year. I rarely do.
  • At some point as a teenager, and I don't remember the specifics, but I was disappointed about an event that I had look forward to for weeks. Ever since that time, I refuse to get excited about anything in the future.I call it my "Rule Of Low Expectations."
  • I recently learned that modern day Catholic confessions occur face to face with a priest and not in a booth. No way I'm doing that.
  • I really don't know much about Dallas Star Sean Avery, but he was suspended yesterday by the NHL for comments he made about another NHL player who is dating his former girlfriend. He said, "I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy [word deleted for a reason I'm not sure about.]" The funny part is how the local news media is handling the comment. The Ticket rolled with it and quotes him directly. Most TV media won't go that far. Fox 4 inserted the word "[former girlfriend]" for the offending words. Edit: Video
  • The "big" news yesterday was that the U.S. "warned" India of the terrorists attacks that occured last week. I bet the U.S. warns every nation every day of potential terrorists attacks.
  • I found a 1979 edition of Dave Campbell's Texas Football. When I get time, I'll scan the blurb about the Bridgeport and Decatur High school prospects. The names will be very familiar to the local crowd.
  • If Chuck Norris used a folder as a weapon, this would happen. (Please watch that video. Gold.)

12.02.2008

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Woman . . .

SAN FRANCISCO – A husband and wife have been charged with torture and other counts after a bruised, terrified 17-year-old showed up at a gym with a chain locked to his ankle, claiming he had just fled his captors, authorities said Tuesday.
Lady, hire me. I've got my closing argument all written out: "Ladies and gentleman, did Samuel L. Jackson get prosecuted when he chained up Christina Ricci in the exact same manner in Black Snake Moan? No, he didn't. And I don't think there should be a double standard which allows Mr. Jackson to get off just because he's some rich Hollywood type. Thank you very much." And that's why I'm Board Certified.

Teaching Little Junior To Ride A Bike



 I've analyzed this video down in my blog laboratory and there's lots going on here. First, we've got momma who decides to launch little Ricky Bobby in a straight line right towards the Tree of Destruction. Secondly, little Ricky commits the cardinal sin in bike riding on the streets: he takes his feet off the pedals and panics like a little baby. Thirdly, daddy decides that the fear on little Ricky's face is the cue to "keep filming" instead of "save boy." Come to think of it, daddy is a hero here. I bet he was even in charge of the video editing. Bravo.

Fragile Life

I generally don't read a whole lot of human interest stories that appear in the Dallas Morning News, but over the weekend I couldn't help but read the one associated with the above photo. The first two paragraphs had me hooked.

A collective “Why her, Lord?” shuddered through the ranks of North Texas United Methodists late last week.

Word arrived that the Rev. Kathleen Baskin-Ball, an admired, beloved leader among United Methodist pastors — and mother of a 4-year-old boy — would enter hospice care after a nearly two-year fight with cancer.

To "enter hospice care" was code for "she is in her last days." Any story that involves the death of a 50 year old is going to stop me in my tracks --especially one involving what appears to be a wonderful person. I'll admit to tearing up a bit while I read the story.

That emotion changed to shock about five minutes ago when this headline hit the DMN web site: "Beloved Allen pastor Kathleen Baskin-Ball, 50, dies of cancer."

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • Stumbled on the oddest and greatest show this morning: All I know is that it was called "Sunrise Earth" (or something like that) and it was simply video of remote parts or Norway, at sunrise, with audio of the wind. No talking. Just landscape. I couldn't look away but I had to leave because it last 30 minutes.
  • I'm beginning to identify specific points in my life where I made major mistakes.
  • I think I saw that oil fell below $150 a barrel yesterday -- we may see gas below $1.60.
  • I hate the ol' wake-up-and-remember-that-clothes-you-need for that morning are still in the washer. So then you throw them in the dryer and compete in the "get ready to leave" vs. "are they dry yet" race.
  • And you know that if you open the door to the dryer to peek on the status of the clothes and you're wrong, that you've let out all the hot air.
  • Redneck Luxury: Did you see the Texas Motor Speedway is ripping out about 20,000 seats to make way for premiere RV spots that will lease for $15,000 a year. I'm washing the Family Truckster as we speak.
  • Every time I watch Curb Your Enthusiasm, I laugh.
  • There's a gal that always claims she knows when I'm in a bad mood based upon these Random Thoughts. Darlin', you have no idea.
  • Dallas Morning News financial guru Scott Burns wrote last month that he is against pre-nuptial agreements because it sends the wrong message about the marriage. Puhleeze. You're a financial advisor, not Dr. Phil.
  • Two girls were arrested for stealing stuff after posing as Colleyville High School students. I refer to them as the "blurry mug shot and hot mug shot girls".
  • Britney Spears, who is looking smoking hot these days, turns 27 today.
  • I wish the Bridgeport/Liberty Hill game were to be played in the afternoon.
  • George Bush bowls with a frozen turkey a few years back while host (Norm Hitzges) announces that the event will ruin any chance he ever has to become President.

12.01.2008

Big News, I Think

Story. And I think "near Bridgeport" might be a stretch. I think its down there around Cottondale or Boonesville or something like that. And I'm not so sure there isn't some Jurassic Park thing going on down there as well.

Open Carry

The legislature will apparently be bombarded with requests that concealed handgun license owners be allowed to carry the handgun in an unconcealed manner. (Which really messes up that CHL acronym.) I'm not sure how I feel about this. I guess if I am oblivious to the fact that some nutcase in Sweetie Pie's is packing in a concealed manner, I'm not sure I'd feel any better if he placed his Ruger next to his plate of chicken fried steak. And if I still understand the Penal Code, did you know you could walk down the street right now carrying a shotgun or rifle?

My Day Has Gone Like This

And I'm Wes Welker. (From yesterday's game.)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

  • The Monday after a long weekend is never-a-good.
  • I finished the Turkey Trot with a time of 1:10:33. The official results even had the time down to a hundredth of a second which seems a little silly.
  • Assistant County Attorney Thomas Aaberg showed up at the last minute and ran a 59:31 which included a bathroom break because he, uh, showed up at the last minute.
  • My favorite part of the race is at the six mile mark where the course loops you back and you see downtown Dallas which is where the finish line is. It is at that moment, every year, that I'm thankful for my health. Almost got a little teary eyed this time. Or maybe that was just because the pain in my legs.
  • It's December.
  • Given enough time, I think everyone will disappoint you.
  • My sickness went away on Thursday but not before my mom packaged up a bunch of loose Vitamin C pills for me to take home. Looking at them on my passenger seat in a baggie made me think I was soooooo going to be spread eagle on the ground if a cop had stopped me that night.
  • I don't believe that Black Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year, and I don't believe that Cyber Money is the busiest online shopping day of the year.
  • Bridgeport's opponent this weekend, Liberty Hill, is apparently very good. If you're the kind of guy that likes message board smack talk about the game, you'll love this.
  • There was a motorcycle death on 114 in Irving on Friday but the tragedy of the weekend has to be the Waxahachie family driving into Mexico whose SUV goes off of a bridge that had been washed out. Seven died.
  • The great Sarah Silverman is 38 today.
  • How can a show like The Deadliest Catch suck you in like it does?
  • At the urging of a buddy, I created a Facebook account. After three days I had one friend. I just sat there looking at the screen with Barry tears rolling down my Barry cheeks.
  • Remember girls, don't have relations in a the men's restroom with someone who is not your husband or your picture will be posted on the Internets.
  • Holy cow, Baylor almost beat Texas Tech on Saturday but I didn't know that Tech's quarterback had two fingers crushed on his non-throwing hand and that he "underwent four hours of surgery Sunday on the pinkie and ring fingers on his left hand, with 17 pins and two plates inserted in his hand to heal nine separate breaks." And he never came out of the game.
  • I spent 20 minutes of Friday morning watching Jerry Springer. I'm not sure, but I think it involved infidelity amongst family members and a fight on stage ensued.
  • I may find an out of state bowl game to go to. I haven't done that since 2004 but the stars seem to be aligning for it.

11.30.2008

Craziness

The BCS rankings were just released and, as expected, OU leap frogged the Evil Empire which means (1) they will go to the Big 12 Championship game, and (2) to the National Championship game after they thump Missouri in that game. Texas has every right to be upset considering they beat Oklahoma on a neutral field back in October. But so it goes. Since I haven't heard anyone talk about it, I presume that if Florida beats Alabama in the SEC Championship Game (and they probably will), they jump Texas as well leaving us with 1. Oklahoma 2. Florida 3. Texas. I haven't heard any serious talk of a Texas/OU rematch in the National Championship game, but I think I'll go snoop around for it.