Who Is Willing To Be #1?

Thank you for your courage, sir.


If local news stations ever realize they would please the audience by just saying, "What the heck is going on?" and laughing at moments like this, it will be a better day.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

  • "WEATHERFORD — A paroled paralegal . . . is accused of embezzling more than $48,000 from a Weatherford attorney."
  • When a story about immigration came on the news last night, the Sixth Grader In The House asked, "Why don't they want them here?"  I've never been prouder. "Out of the mouth of babes" indeed.  
  • The House of Representatives voted to sue the President on Thursday but couldn't agree on an immigration bill on Thursday. What party controls the House?
  • Then again, after all the hoopla over Dallas County housing immigrants because of this crisis, it was announced yesterday that the housing wasn't needed at all. Maybe there never was a crisis. 
  • The Family Pig woke me up last night. We keep him in a crate downstairs at night but for the first time ever he went a little nuts with pig noises around 3:00 a.m.  I went downstairs and opened the crate, he went for water, rooted around for food, I fed him, and then he curled up in his Pig Bed. Maybe the pig was just hungry. Maybe he's just as greedy as a pig. 
  • Tony Romo said he would never again be able to play "golf every day" even after he retires from the NFL because of his back. If you ever wanted a warning sign, there it is.
  • George W. Bush is writing a book about his father.  Odds of the cover reading "By George W. Bush with [insert actual author]? 100%.
  • I was roasted by my Baseball Nemesis for laughing at the Rangers opening day starting rotation. One of those starters was Joe Saunders who Texas ended up releasing. He was picked up by Kansas City who released him yesterday. Yep, released twice before August. 
  • "Hours" before 9/11, Bill Clinton told a group he once had a chance to kill Osama Bin Laden but didn't do it because it would have required destroying a town and killing "300 innocent women and children." A decent society doesn't kill innocent people.* And he wasn't Nostradamus. (*I thought about inserting an Israel comment there.) 
  • I had never heard of actress Aubrey Plaza before, but I saw her on with Jon Stewart yesterday. (Hitting Google right now. Oh. I've never seen a single episode of Parks and Recreation.) What a weird and fascinating girl. I think I love her. 
  • A group from my favorite radio station went to see the Beach Boys last night in California. There has never been a bigger beating of a band than the Beach Boys. I always felt the group was doing a bad bit. Come to think about it, I saw them do a post Ranger game concert at the old Arlington Stadium in the 1980s. They had already become spare back then. 
  • Aledo High School has won four football state championships in the last five years and yesterday their football coach announced he will quit the position to become athletic director. Something seems weird about that occurring just days before this season begins. Then again, he's 54, and probably beaten down by parents. 
  • From the D Magazine blog: “'How the Commemorative Air Force Landed at Dallas Executive Airport,' a story written by Brendan McNally and printed on page 22 of the August issue under the headline 'Up in the Air,' has been taken down from our website due to numerous factual errors." Wow. I don't care about the subject matter, but the journalistic aspect is fascinating. Somebody might get fired.  More.
  • Baylor football opens up at #10 in the Coaches Poll, but I don't even want to mention it because it is technically now the Amway Coaches Poll
  • Upon reflection, my criminal law professor at Baylor Law School had no idea what he was doing. Upon further reflection, I knew it at the time. The school had a bad habit of keeping senile old men on the faculty back then. 
  • Thank goodness I kept this quote from Abraham Lincoln posted on my mirror: "Get the books, and read and study them till, you understand them in their principal features; and that is the main thing. It is of no consequence to be in a large town while you are reading . . . . The books, and your capacity for understanding them, are just the same in all places."
  • Of course, I was worried about that "your capacity" part. 
  • I wasn't making fun of Ted Cruz yesterday (post below), I just thought the editing was a funny bit (or a "drop" as they call in the industry.) Some of you guys are incredibly uptight. 
  • I've said it before: Ann Coulter looks like she is on meth. 
  • This probably only interests me, but there are ads on the radio sponsored by Breitling Energy which are nothing more than crazy mini right wing commentaries that are simply head spinning. One I heard yesterday told us -- no, scolded us -- to not object to fracking unless you are willing to not drive a car, fuel your home, or take a plane ride. "You can't have it both ways," it said. The company is headed by some guy named Chris Faulkner (who actually does the voice work for the commercials). I was going to cut and past his slim credentials from the company's web page, but it has an amazing no-right-click/highlight protection. And nice glamour shot there, hoss. I'm stunned he doesn't have his chin resting on his fist like Uncle Rico. 


Texas DPS Academy

DPS has a new recruit academy going on right now and the agency has been posting some pics. I've heard it's a beating, and I guess I understand that, but check out that top pic. Is that before a meal? Do they have to stand at attention before being told to "EAT!"?

I've Found Perhaps The Smartest Man Alive

I Don't Know The Context . . .

. . . but if Ted Cruz would put this on a thirty second loop, it would be the greatest/funniest/most unforgettable presidential ad ever.

I'll never get this out of my head.

Cowboys' Coach Throws Ice Water On Tight Ends During Drill

Skip to 1:15.

I'm torn between making a Sandusky joke or a Peter Graves Airplane joke.

Nothing Like Having Electrical Lines Draped Across Your Car

Love the New Time Cover Taking On The Testosterone Industry

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

  • Orlando Bloom took a swing at Justin Bieber? Had he connected, I would have a new hero. (Funny tweet: "BREAKING:  NFL to suspend Orlando Bloom for 2 weeks after striking defenseless woman Justin Bieber in the face.")
  • "A 28-year-old Bowie man was found dead in his cell at the Montague County Jail Tuesday afternoon." That's all the info I've got. But it certainly needs to be investigated. Thoroughly. 
  • Also scant info: Greenville, Texas lawyer faces murder charge for allegedly killing someone who just happens to be African American. 
  • "McDonald’s Ordered To Pay $27 Million For [Texas] Teens’ Deaths." Idiocracy.
  • There's something very weird about Tony Romo's back, and I think it's a big deal. He should be 100% healed from his surgery and he's not.  Keep an eye on that story. 
  • Offensive tackle Tyron Smith signed an eight year extension for $110 million with $40 million guaranteed and a $10 million signing bonus. If he's the next Larry Allen (and he might very well be), he will be considered to be grossly underpaid before it is all said and done. 
  • I like silly things. I like campy things. I had no interest in Sharknado 2
  • If I had to write down all the phone numbers I had memorized, it would be a shockingly short list. 
  • A former Bridgeport classmate of mine is in the obits in the Update today. Freaks me out. And it reminds me that we should live while we can instead of putting up with tension and unhappiness and noise. 
  • I roamed around the backyard last evening and noticed a ton of holes in the ground everywhere. The pig!
  • I'm not sure how it works, but something went horribly wrong with the bar exam this week and some type of online submission software. A ton of essays were simply lost. That would put me over the edge. 
  • Why do I listen to conservative radio or turn on Fox News? Why would I want to live in an echo chamber? Why would I be scared of different ideas?
  • No movie gets more free publicity on The Ticket than Boyhood. And I want to see it. 
  • Israel continues to have no problem with killing kids . . . 


Get Me This Virtual Shark Screen That Almost Causes Heart Attacks!

"Let Me Just Faceplant You Into The Concrete While You Are Handcuffed"

Edit: I'll be dang, he wasn't handcuffed. Hands just held behind his back.

Fox 4 News said tonight that charges won't be filed against the jailer until a "complaint" is filed by the victim. Since when is that how it works? Ask the thousands of people who have been prosecuted when the "victim" begs the prosecutor not to do it.

Fans Storm Field At Soccer Game Last Night At Cotton Bowl

Not sure what the big deal is, but it's getting a lot of press.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

  • Those Jack in the Box "munchie meal" commercials depict stoned people (including Jack) with the munchies, don't they? Those things have apparently been running for over a year, but I just saw one for the first time yesterday. 
  • I'm kind of surprised at the Jessie Ventura/Chris Kyle verdict, but I'm not sure why. Kyle was widely know to have a problem with the truth. And if you watch him tell the story of knocking Ventura down (I saw an old replay with Bill O'Reilly and with local Fox 4 News last night), he just looks and acts like he was lying. 
  • And I was always bugged about the concept of Kyle promoting himself for killing people with a rifle from a distance. And I wonder how much of what he said is even true. 
  • Fox News "legal analyst" bimbos Kimberly Guioyle and Lis Wiehl are beyond stupid. (And you never hear me call someone stupid. It's a harsh and ugly term and that's why I don't use it.) However, they make Judge Judy look like she could make law review. Nevertheless, they do love to show cleavage which is enough to get you on prime time on that channel.
  • Weird: That wonderfully named Highland Park failed Texas House candidate, Chart Westcott, had a campaign letter go out last week where Troy Aikman implored voters to support him and send him money. The election is long since over. Westcott says it was an "error".
  • Fred Thompson has gone from actor to Republican candidate/presidential savior (in one of the worst campaigns ever) to "Reverse Mortgage" king.
  • Who's the odd guy in the comments who keeps challenging me on whether Cleveland Brown Josh Gordon, as I have said, might be the best receiver in the NFL? Gordon missed the first two games last year and still lead the NFL in receiving yards with 1646 yards (for an 18.9 average and nine TDs.) How can you deny that? That's not exactly sports rocket science I'm throwing out there. (And his suspension for weed might be in question.)
  • I had a faithful reader locate and send me a joint selfie of herself an Crazy Texas Mommy who was found in the wild (i.e. working). Made me smile. 
  • They held Tony Romo out of practice again yesterday? Is the over/under on wins still at eight? Has Vegas moved it to 7.5 or 7 yet? 
  • We have a very politically active teenager staying with us this week who, out of the blue last night, asked me last night if marijuana should be legalized. I don't think I've ever paused so long before I gave an answer that was the equivalent of tiptoeing through a minefield. 
  • Every news story I see about the Ebola outbreak reminds me of, well, the movie Outbreak.
  • I haven't said anything about ESPN's Stephen A. Smith's don't-provoke-a-man controversy because his initial comment was so full of convoluted logic and self righteousness that I could hardly make sense of it. I suspect there are many, many men who have had women in their lives who only wanted to provoke them into a confrontation. You don't hit them. You get rid of them. 
  • The current immigration debate is mind numbing. We stole the land from the native Americans. We rebelled against Britain to steal it from them. Texas and the South tried to steal the lower half of the country from the United States. But we go ape crazy over people who want to come here in order to just become the working poor? Folks, our lifetime is nothing more than a blink of an eye in the history of man. Relax. Somehow, I think we'll all make it.
  • The Mark Davis Show had a caller yesterday from "Adam in Bridgeport" who said Bridgeport schools will from time to time have a "Spanish language only" day. Davis didn't believe him. I didn't either. That's not right, is it? 


Above The Fold

Oh, My

Jury awards ex-Minn. Gov. Jesse Ventura $1.8 million in defamation suit vs Chris Kyle's estate over sniper memoir bit.ly/1nRF9gz


Something Doesn't Seem Correct

They Won't Shoot Kids, Will They?

 Tea Party flag
 Always has a back up job as a WWE wrestler
What's that flag?

UT Responds To Tech Pic (Below) With This One

So much swag.

Texas Tech Coach Prepping For The Season

Guns up.

Japanese Chick Just Smashing Bricks With Her Head Before First Pitch

And then I couldn't take my eyes off the mascots behind the catcher.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • That "Settle down, Captain Happy" audio from over the weekend (a confrontation between pilots and an air traffic controller) was funny. 
  • Some days you just dread what is on your work schedule. Today is one of those days for me.
  • Got an email telling me that prices are rising for next year's Fort Worth Half Marathon. Early registration is $80.00 and they don't even tell you what the "late" (after 7/31/14) fee will be. Sheesh. That's a little pricey. 
  • A protester outside of Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins' home on Saturday. Lady, you may have a smirk on your face but you've got a lot of hate in your heart. And you protest at his home on a weekend? Get a life. 
  • I love all of those who are vehemently anti-illegal immigration but say "we welcome those who wish to enter out country legally and are willing to go through the process." Yeah, so long as it takes fifteen years and those trying are likely to give up. Let's streamline the "legal" process to six months and see how that attitude changes. 
  • The case of the doctor dying from the Ebola virus is scary. I bet he is quarantined like nobody's business. 
  • I've never had a decal on the back of any vehicle I've owned in over thirty years. 
  • The opening line for the UT/North Texas football game is the Empire by 25. I think that's insane.
  • I doubt if any of you heard it, but "author" David Horowitz was on Sean Hannity's radio show yesterday and not only did he sound like a nut, he sounded like he was about to have a heart attack.  It was weird.  And Hannity commented on it. 
  • The sale of the locally owned North Texas Bank sure did fly under the radar. 
  • I still think someone will die on the field during an NFL game one day. And when it happens, everything changes.
  • Take a pig out to the front yard and you become an instant celebrity.
  • ESPN's Sports Center is almost impossible to watch. 


Random Saint Jo News

I'm surprised they even listened.


Hey, It's A Monday

New Dallas Maverick Girls

Photo gallery. (You don't have to read the CBA to understand it.)

Electric Selfie

Saw this on the news, and it really doesn't seem that dramatic to me.  But I'm just not sure why the guy thought the mask was a good look.

I Hope This Is The Weirdest Thing I Read All Week


Random Monday Morning Thoughts

Bonus pic from Star-Telegram's Rockin' The River. The heights confuse me.

  • One of my guilty pleasure movies is Executive Decision (which, frankly, was way before its time.)
  • I woke up sick yesterday but then something weird happened: Whenever I laid down, I would go to sleep. I slept all day. I mean all day. And when I woke up around 11:00 p.m. (an oddly decided to go outside and water the lawn), I went back to bed and slept all night. 
  • I tried to get the Sixth Grader In The House to watch Evil Roy Slade with me on Saturday. I pointed out to her that I had never met a female that thought the movie was funny but that guys loved it. (Baiting her.) As the credits rolled, she said, "Meh."
  • Weirdest moment of the weekend: Getting involved in a Twitter fight with the very grumpy ex-Dallas Morning News TV critic Ed Bark over Beatle songs. 
  • The pig won't stop growing. 
  • I found it odd once when I saw the statue of former Fort Worth mayor Bob Bolen at Alliance Airport. With news over the weekend that the Perot boys may be involved in the John Wiley Price scandal, I read that Bolen was instrumental of granting the Perots request to annex their Alliance land. Hmmmm.
  • Sometimes I feel bad for whomever has to write the Update. But they have plenty of material today. What a wheels off Wise County weekend. 
  • I watched the 30 for 30 episode on Greg Lemond and was pretty confused. Maybe it was because I couldn't see past his blue eyes and full upper body brace.
  • A five star running back recruit for OU allegedly punched a Euless girl in the face at 2:30 a.m. as he was out celebrating his 18th birthday. Nice start. 
  • The over/under line for total Cowboy wins is eight. I'm working on my "bet the house" prediction that made so many of your rich last year. I'm leaning towards the under (especially since Tony Romo couldn't even take part in the second practice.) 
  • I wonder if my Baseball Nemesis is currently in therapy after picking a fight with a Sports Expert. 
  • The Texas Bar Journal has a "short story" contest every year, and I've always thought I could win it. But, man, this year's top three finishers were really, really good and extremely dark. Although this sentence in the winner almost made me throw the magazine across the living room: "Wafts of fresh scone from the nearby bakery pirouette through aircraft doors deliberately cracked." How pretentious. 
  • “The idea that we can’t assimilate these eight-year-old criminals with their teddy bears is preposterous.” - George Will this weekend on immigration. There may be hope after all.