It's 5:30 on Saturday morning.
The Cowtown Half Marathon starts at 7:30.
I'm up because I intend on running it.
But I want to go back to bed.
(Closest thing to a haiku I can pull off.)
Edit: I did it. More later. Getting dark. See tunnel. See white light. Uh oh.
Edit #2: A friend sent me this pic and asked me if I saw the Sheriff running. Heck, he might be in that pic somewhere.
Edit #3: Race Results
at 5:37 AM
"Allie Stange [of the Denison Yellowjackets] scored seven goals, five in the first half, as Denison destroyed Decatur, 21-0, in District 4-4A action Thursday night at Munson Stadium. "Decatur (1-9, 0-6) played a man short from the start and the final eight minutes down another player after its goalie was injured. Denison (3-9, 2-4) took advantage, opening up a 12-0 lead behind Stange’s first-half outburst." Started without enough players? Source
at 1:02 PM
The back portion of this video shows (kinda) Britney going nuts a couple of days ago when she attacked a van with an umbrella. Warning: She drops a couple of F Bombs. But what was more interesting to me was the first 30 seconds. Can you imagine not being able to be a passenger in a car at Allsups without being hounded by the press?
at 11:29 AM
Craziest story from the NBA All-Star Game in Las Vegas last weekend.
- After the game, Adam "Pacman" Jones of the Tennessee Titans (yep, that's a football team) decides to visit a strip club called Minxx. (Hey, now.)
- Inside the club is also rapper Nelly (he's kind of a white rapper since even I like some of his songs.)
- Nelly decides to "Make It Rain" which means he takes hand fulls of dollar bills and throws them up into the air thereby making them "rain" down on the strippers. (I would have liked to have seen that.)
- Pacman Jones, not to be outdone, starts to Make It Rain himself. (I'm soooo doing this at Frilly's tonight.)
- Something goes wrong (and here is where the facts get murky) but a melee breaks out.
- During the melee, a guy steals some money from Pacman and places the money in a trash bag and leaves. (I think Pacman had the money in a bag he was carrying - not sure.)
- The money is later recovered in a hotel room and it totaled $81,000!!! (That's right, Pacman Jones went inside a strip club with $81,000 in cash. Holy crap.)
- After the melee, a guy leaves and then comes back into the club and starts shooting. Three people are hit - one guy takes a bullet in the spine.
- I'm opening up a Minxx in Rhome this summer. Good times.
at 9:25 AM
Rep. Phil King has joined the defense team in a wrongful death lawsuit in Wise County. After that, an "automatic" Motion for Continuance was then filed since the legislature is in session. (It's mandatory that it be granted.)He claims that his presence is not to seek a continuance because "I've done a lot of oil and gas work. I'm perfectly qualified to be the attorney,"
Oil and gas work qualifies you to defend a wrongful death suit just because it happened at a drill site?
From 2003 to 2006, only one other lawmaker has used the "legislative continuance" more than King.
(Star Telegram story.)
at 7:30 AM
I just noticed that the judge has pulled a Judge Wapner and has gone into chambers to decide the case. He said he would be back in 15 minutes. (Edit: OMG, he came back in the courtroom and started crying when he read the decision. And he still didn't make any sense: He says that the body is to go to the attorney who is the guardian for Anna's infant daughter and it will be his sole discretion as to where the body should be buried. Say what? And then the judge turned around and said that he wanted the body buried next to her son. What a complete buffoon. )
If you get a chance to watch the news tonight, you have to catch one of the most embarrassing moments in litigation history: Texas "Super Lawyer" John O'Quinn convinces the judge to allow Anna's first husband from Mexia (Billy Wayne Smith) to testify by phone. All the other lawyers go crazy. Everyone expects Billy to say that he wants Anna buried in Texas (or else O'Quinn wouldn't want him called as a witness.)
The judge gets him on the phone, asks him if he is wearing boots (everyone laughing at that joke?), and has him testify. For some reason, the judge interrupts the questioning and says, "If I could order for your son's body in the Bahamas to be exhumed and brought back to Texas for burial, would you want me to?" (I have no idea why that question is asked, but everyone presumes he would say "yes" because surely he will want Anna buried in Mexia, too.) To everyone's surprise, he says, "Naaaa, I wouldn't want that."
And then he blurts out that he just as soon have Anna buried next to their son in the Bahamas. This is exactly the opposite of what the Texas Super Lawyer expected. The entire gallery erupted in laughter as John O'Quinn starts yelling into the phone, "Billy! Billy! Don't you remember our conversation at lunch?!" The judge stops the questioning and says "I've heard enough."
at 2:24 PM
The mascot at the University of Illinois used to do some crazy Me Fire Up-em Crowd dance at halftime. But no longer. Last night, the God of Political Correctness witnessed his last dance.
We shall offend no more.
at 10:20 AM
Who would have thought that sweet and innocent girl in the "Oops, I Did It Again" video (ok, maybe "not so innocent") would one day be bald, a
And, in case you haven't heard, she's made a run for it. Possibly for Newark or New Fairview.
at 10:37 PM
The presidential race is already heating up, and most of the candidates have unique qualities (i.e. Barack Obama is black, Hillary is a woman, etc.). So a recent Gallop poll asked if you would vote for someone who is well qualified if the person was also one of the following:
72 years of age
Married for third time
You can say "yes" to more than one obviously.
So which characteristic hurts your the most? Results. (Hint: Gays and the elderly have a lot in common.)
at 8:17 PM
Well, the trial in Decatur that I referenced yesterday has ended up with a guilty verdict after less than 30 minutes of deliberations. (The verdict came down around 3:00 p.m.) From what I can tell, the case involved the defendant striking the victim in the head with a baseball bat during a wedding type of event at Runaway Bay. I have no idea what prompted the altercation although I know the jury was instructed on the law of self defense (that didn't work.) I saw the victim in the courthouse today and he had a nasty scar on his head. The "punishment phase" is now underway. The jury could go as low as probation or as high as 20 years in prison. The defendant has no criminal history, spent 10 months in jail awaiting trial, and has been evaluated in Vernon at the request of his mother. Edit: We have a punishment verdict as of 5:20 p.m. The jury granted the defendant probation (he'll be on it for 7 years) and assessed a $5,000 fine. It was a fair and just verdict. A probation violation can (and would) lead to seven years of incarceration. Lead defense counsel was Earl Dobson out of Denton.
at 3:31 PM
The best I can tell, there are 25 comments from you fine people that I can't get to. You'd think by clicking on that "25 Comments" that I'd get to see them. Nope. Although there normally is a comment or two waiting on me, there are never as many as it says. So although most Comments get through, a handful go into purgatory. God bless them.
Thomas Aaberg, the assistant prosecutor in the Wise County Attorney's office, told me today that he was going to run home. He meant, literally, "run home" after work. Thomas is a long distance runner and he had been thinking about this feat for quite some time. He lives in Alvord which means that his journey would be 15 miles by using a route that he referred to as the "Old Decatur Road." I checked with the office at the end of the day and they confirmed that he had left on his journey of pain.
If he didn't make it, we'll miss him.
Edit: Well, he's alive and claims that he made it home in 1 hour and 50 minutes. And he's back at work today.
at 10:00 PM
The girl on the left is Emily Nkosi who used to be Emily Niemann. The "Nkosi" name comes from the girl on the right who is now her Massachusetts sanctioned spouse. Yep, we're talking full blown lesbians.
But why do I care? I'll tell ya why. Emily used to play basketball for Baylor University. In fact, that girl fired off 19 points (5 of 8 from the three point line) when the Lady Bears opened a can of whoop arse on Michigan State and won the National Title two years ago. It was the happiest moment of my life except for seeing the birth of my first child (which has never actually happened - but I digress).
But then I read a couple of months after that momentous night that she had quit the team. "Why?" I cried into my pillow that night. "Why, Emily, are you leaving the only decent sports team that I've seen at Baylor in the last 15 years? Whatever it is, we can fix it!"
Two years later, I have my answer.
Emily, it seems, was afraid Baylor would be none to pleased if it was revealed she was a lesbian, and USA Today has finally printed her story. (Sheesh, even Bill O'Reilly has covered Baylor's lack of love for The Gay.)
What's the world coming to when a female college basketball player can't have an affinity for the same sex? It's enough to make me want to tear up my Baylor pennant.
at 9:00 PM
Judge Cude just told me he performed a "proxy wedding" today on the courthouse steps - to which I replied, "what in the heck is a proxy wedding?"
Apparently that involves a soon-to-be-spouse who cannot attend the wedding due to reasons beyond his control (i.e. military service), so he signs a "proxy" allowing someone else to stand in his stead and recite his "I do."
Honestly, I had never heard of such a thing.
But here's the kicker: The wedding today involved an absent groom but the bride allowed her sister to stand in as his proxy. So we had two women standing before Judge Cude saying "I do" on the Wise County Courthouse steps. Surely that's never happened before. Good times.
at 4:13 PM
It looks like there is an Aggravated Assault trial that started today in the district court in Decatur. I peeked in and noticed that the Defendant was African-American and the jury was all white. I'm really not worried about him getting a fair trial (heck, I had a "not guilty" in a misdemeanor case about six years ago under the exact same scenerio), but it just looks odd.
at 3:09 PM
The crisis-in-the-making that is the Dallas County Jail is lowering its standard for prospective jailers. Now instead of being asked "Have you ever used illegal drugs?" the question is now "Have you used illegal drugs in the last 10 years?" A "yes" gets you disqualified.
Hmmm, problem solved.
at 1:06 PM
Man, the hearing in Florida this morning over where to bury Anna Nicole's body is a complete circus. Famous big bags of money Texas lawyer John O'Quinn is representing Anna's mom, and Daniel K. Stern has been on the stand for most of the morning. Craziness.
Everyone is firing off comments and the judge is only half-arse taking control. It is funny, however, that the judge refers to O'Quinn as "Tex" or "Texas." A couple of times he's said, "Calm down, Tex" and "I heard you, Texas."
If you're so inclined, you can watch it here beginning at 1:30 (they took a break for lunch.)
at 11:57 AM
Interesting legal point: Entering into someone's house without permission (even if you act creepy inside) is just a misdemeanor of criminal trespass. But if you enter into someone's house with the intent to commit theft or you actually commit theft once inside, you've bought yourself a second degree felony. Interesting non-legal point: The victim was smokin' hot.
at 5:19 PM
Only those that control our lives, government offices and banks, are closed.
I went up to the courthouse a second ago and pushed my forehead against one of the glass doors and looked in. It looked dark in there. I even shook the latch really hard and then banged on the glass even harder. I even yelled, "Hello! I'm here for a mental commitment because I'm a serious threat to myself and others. I might even have had a bucket of crystal meth and a case of beer for lunch." Still nothing.
I hate this holiday.