blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: 2/12/06 - 2/19/06

2.18.2006

I Remember . . .

. . . a guy named Eric Rosenstrom working in the Wise County Sheriff's Office in the 1990s. I think he had something to do with crime scene processing until he was fired due to a resume scandal. I wonder what he is doing now? Oh, no!!! (Yep, same guy).

Do You Believe in Mediocrity?

I've watched a little of the Olympics and so far I've learned:

  • Bode Miller, the skier, isn't very good (he "went off the course" during the Super G today)
  • Some girl named Lindsey Jacobellis had a snowboarding race won until she did some hot-dogging and busted her butt
  • The U.S. hockey team ended up in a 3-3 tie in their first game against a country I didn't know existed
  • Some very gay male figure skater finished fifth

I'm going back to the Discovery Channel

Paris Looks...Uh....Different

If You Ever Have The Need . . .

. . . to buy you or your kids some....er...horns, here's the place for you.

It's Funny How We Change As We Grow Older

2.17.2006

I'll Lay The Points

Congress is trying to crack down on Internet gambling. I'm not a big gambler. Limit my losses to something like $500 a year which makes me a tiny minnow in a very large lake. But I am at a loss to understand how our government thinks it is appropriate to dictate what I do with my money. There's is no law about giving $100 to a drug addict. There's no law about burying $100 in your back yard. There's no law against investing in Enron at this very moment. So why can't I bet on Rutgers to lose a matchup against Villanova? (The most obscure sports reference I could think of).

I Miss College Football

But I was very surprised to see that Oklahoma announced yesterday that the Miami Hurricanes will be coming to Norman on September 8, 2007. So much for scheduling lightweights.

I Think An Involuntary Suicide Is Called Something Else

From the Star-Telegram: TARRANT COUNTY — Sheriff’s deputies are investigating the discovery of a man and woman found hanging side by side from a railroad bridge Friday morning in west Tarrant County.Deputies made the discovery after responding to an unrelated report of an abandoned vehicle in Mary’s Creek at 8:11 a.m. near the 100 block of Farm Road 2871. Officials say the bodies, suspended over the shallow creek, were hanging by ropes attached to an old railroad bridge just east of the roadway that is no longer in use. . . . "Right now we’re going to work it as an apparent voluntary suicide," said sheriff's office spokesman Terry Grisham."

He's Not Dead

Harry Whittington, the 78-year-old man shot by Vice President Dick Cheney was released today. He looked pretty good.

More Proof The World is Crazy

I wonder if this past job would hurt your chances to win election to [Edit] the Texas Legislature? Oh, my. Edit: It is funny that The Dallas Morning News busted the guy today but endorsed him last week.

Happy 34th

2.16.2006

I'm Insane Now

One minute into Fox 4's 10:00 p.m. newscast tonight, anchorman Steve Eager said this: "For a closer look at how people are handling this dramatic change of weather, here is Fox 4's Lari Barager live tonight in Denton" (then they throw it to the very spare Lari). A report on "how people are handling" the temperature? It's 50 degrees at 1o:oo p.m.!!!!

Youth Minister Slip Of The Tongue

Having been raised Southern Baptist and being exposed to many Youth Ministers, this video clip cracks me up. Once you watch it, go back and check out the Hip Youth Minister's eyes when he mispronounces "Lot pitched his tents". To view the video, click here and then click on the link that reads "Click here to view video" which is 5 lines down".

What I Did Last Saturday Night

Google Video.

He Was Heard Singing . . .

. . . "life's a dance, you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow." (Proof that I listened to country music 15 years ago). Story.

Texas "Move Over" Law

Ok, you see a cop ruining someone's day by stopping him on the shoulder. You are hauling butt down the highway. Any obligations? The law passed a couple of years ago states a driver must either (1) vacate the lane closest to the stopped emergency vehicle if the road has multiple lanes traveling in the same direction or (2) reduce his speed to 20 miles per hour below the speed limit. Texas Transportation Code 545.157

Can We Write A Check?

Watching ABC News Tonight I learned that today the Bush Administration made a new request to Congress of $65.3 billion for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan bringing the total FOR THIS YEAR to $110 billion. The total cost of the wars to date: $400 billion. Think of what that could have done if spent at home.

Olsen Twins Creep Me Out (I Promise)

The Material Girl Busted a Gut

Madonna might slow down with the bumping and grinding. (Story)

I Got This . . .

. . . for my birthday.

This Is The Weirdest . . .

. . . thing I have seen in quite some time.

Random Messenger Update Observation

"SERIOUS ACCIDENT — Three people were injured, at least one critically, in a three-vehicle accident yesterday evening in Balsora. Department of Public Safety Trooper Mitchell Collins said a car driven by Azizah Sapdan Smith, 42, was stopped in the southbound lane of Farm Road 920 waiting to turn into a private drive when her truck was hit from behind by a vehicle driven by Tommie Gene Barrett, 72, of Azle." Azizah Sapdan Smith?

The New Lara Croft

And a "look at those big guns" line be very immature so I refuse to say it. (Story about the new gal is here)

Mildly Amusing

2.15.2006

Cutting Off Baby Arm Trial Update

The defense team did something brilliant today, they called as a witness the pastor of Dena Schlosser, the lady who admittedly cut of the arms of her baby. (She's on trial for capital murder in Collin County). The pastor of the Water of Life Church , Doyle Davidson, is a nutcase who proclaimed that "mental illness is caused by demons". And he pointed out that Schlosser attended the church up to five times a week. Genius: Call the witness as a regular guy and let the jury figure out how this important figure in Schlosser's life is crazy. It bolsters the insanity defense. (And there is nothing tricky or deceiving about this, it's the actual facts). But I loved the Fox 4 News report tonight when the reporter ask the pastor if he had ever seen a demon. "Yes," he said. "It was about four to five feet tall. Four or so inches in diameter. Just standing on his tail and wiggling like this [as he motioned]. Talking to me. Threatening me." I think the demon said, "Put down the whiskey bottle."

Serena Williams Retouched

Come on! The lamps were fine!

To The Defense Of Falwell

A funny "Correction" I saw in Newsweek: "In the Feb. 6 article 'Cut, Thrust, and Christ,' we misquoted Jerry Falwell as using the words 'assault ministry.' In fact, Falwell was referring to "a salt ministry,' a reference to Matthew 5:13 where Jesus says 'ye are the salt of the earth.'"

The Texas Longhorns . . .

. . . were at the White House yesterday and Vince Young forgot to wear a suit.

Another Reason Not To Be A Cop

This video occurred 16 days ago and shows about as close to death as an officer can get during a traffic stop. Two things to look for: (1) That officer truly saw his life pass before his eyes as he walks around aimlessly after the near hit, and (2) the lady in the car remaining very calm and asking "Are you all right?"

Ka-Ching

If you are an apartment owner and hire a 20-something year old with two shoplifting convictions on his record, should you be liable if that guy sexually molests a child in the apartment complex? A Tarrant County jury says 4.85 million times that the answer is yes. Incredible.

2.14.2006

Beating A Horse That Shows No Signs Of Life

Isn't it amazing that Dick Cheney has not made a public statement since his quail-gone-wrong incident this weekend? The most important thing in politics is perception. And he seems clueless - and I can't believe Bush doesn't call him on the carpet and tell him to get this situation under control. All of this silence (causing the press secretary to be beaten to a pulp) just leads to the "perception" that Bush is a puppet and Chaney calls the shots. In conservative columnist Mark Davis' column today in the Morning News, he said "Thank heaven these people run a war better than a hunting accident." I'm not sure that's true at all.

For The Sports Fan In Your Life - Valentine's Is Officially Over

A $30 Million Skimpy Bikini

And the thing is so small, I'm surprised Yahoo is hosting it.

Things That Drive Me Nuts - That No One Else Will Care About

I was channel surfing a second ago and came across C-SPAN. It was the typical late night coverage where four or five Reps wait for camera time in an empty house chamber just so they can get their remarks in the Congressional Record. But as I paused for a moment, I saw some guy name Rep. James Carter (R - Texas) blathering on about the Patriot Act. And then he said something that made me insane (again): "I believe in penalties. You know, I have sentenced a person to 20 years in prison for for one rock of crack cocaine". And you are proud of that? (Come to find out he was a judge in Williamson County, north of Austin, which is routinely occupied by conservative nutcases. Current DA John Bradley and Nancy Grace would be all over each other in a right wing, yet boring, love fest.). Edit: I found this about him as well: You were successfully re-elected four times as a county district judge, garnering 60 percent of the vote each time. Why the career change? The attack on the Towers. As a general jurisdiction judge trying felony cases, my reaction when I saw it live on television was that I just witnessed the greatest single capital murder in the history of man. To me, we are hunting down international criminals, and I have some expertise in that. A state district judge has experience in "hunting down international criminals"? I have to look around the courtroom a little closer at the next docket call.

I Hope She Doesn't Get A Valentine

Story. (And check out that last line regarding her four children).

Liberal Media? .... Yeah, Probably

I was watching CNN tonight and they had some doctor on explaining what is going on with Harry Whittington's heart (the guy that ended up on the business end of Cheney's shotgun). But I noticed at the bottom of the screen, where they put text to describe the story going on, was: "Cheney Victim's Heart". The "victim" word was probably a little over the top.

I'm Not Hanging Out With These Girls On Valentines

Shot Through The Heart, And You're To Blame

Not quite, but the 78 year old lawyer shot by Dick Cheney has taken a turn for the worse. And this headline is not appropriate at the moment (which actually was released on Yahoo News after the above story). Edit: You know, the pellets near the heart sounds like a bad thing. This guy may die.

Brokeback Mountain . . .

. . . has captured Willie Nelson!!

OK, More Dog Piling

Rob Courdry on Jon Stewart last night: "Jon, tonight the Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time-there-were-quail in the brush. But the quail turned out to be a 78 year old man. Even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists-he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face."

Self Love Is In The Air

What may be the worst hour in television history may occur today. Garth Brooks (with new wife) is on Oprah. My TV might blow up.

Enough Already

Actual headline from today's Morning News (front page, above the fold):

2.13.2006

I Don't Think You Can Get These Sheets At Walmart


"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right"

I just saw a commercial for some kind of Olay beauty product with the background music of "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Stealer's Wheel. All I could think about was one of the most intense movie scenes ever from Reservoir Dogs. (For those that haven't seen it, let's just say it refers to a knife, an ear, some gasoline and one crazy guy). I bet the Olay executives have never seen the movie.

Turn Left

I was in the same room today with a girl who, without provocation, began talking about restrictor plates. Is it NASCAR season?

V Day

More crazy postcards about Valentine's Day at postsecret.blogspot.com.

Cheney's Gotta Gun

Here's the Texas Parks and Wildlife Report on VP Dick Cheney's unsafe gun habits. Here's a question for you hunters out there (my membership in PETA doesn't expire until June), what happens when you hit a man with a 28 gauge using 7 1/2 shot at 30 yards?

Defendant Exhibit #1

Here'a a pic of Dena Schlosser, the lady accused of cutting off the arms of her child in Collin County. The trial begins today. She will use the insanity defense.

Very Uncomfortable News Story On The "N Word"

And this teacher sooooooo needed someone to tell him to shut up during the interview. Video.

If I Tried To Ice Skate

What's Next?

The First Baptist Church of Grapevine is operating an alcohol-free bar. "No smoking is allowed and the closest thing to alcohol is 'Baptist beer' -- slang for Dr Pepper."

2.12.2006

Peter Benchley . . .

. . . who wrote the novel Jaws, upon which the film was based, has died. I saw the movie in a theater as a child and loved every minute of it. And I still remember that my family took a vacation to Padre Island two weeks later. (And what a great name for the book and movie.)

Jessica Simpson Has Hot Friends

Pro Bowl

As I have the NFL Pro Bowl on TV in the background (and looking up briefly to see QB Peyton Manning get killed and then see Roy Williams clean someone's clock), it occurs to me that one of these days someone is going to tear an ACL and they will cancel this goofy all-star game. But you want some very trivial trivia?: In 1973 the Pro Bowl was played at Texas Stadium and the MVP was O.J. Simpson.

Guns Don't . . .

. . . injure people. Our Vice President does.

Wow

NEW YORK (AP) The National Weather Service says a snowfall record has been set for New York City, with 26.9 inches measured in Central Park. I kinda wish I was there.

40 Year Old Virgin

I put seeing this off because I didn't think it looked very funny. I was wrong.