It's Friday, Let's Get Out Of Here

 Get me this dog!
"I'm not a race horse. I'm a ninja."
Proof that girls are smarter than boys. 
I retract that last statment.
Who could say no?
He's gone. Let's dance!

Firing It Up

An Unconventional Way To Learn How To Do Splits


Random Friday Morning Thoughts

  • After I mentioned Gibson's yesterday, someone reminded me about the old Texas "Blue Laws." You could go to Gibson's, which was one of the few stores opened on Sunday, and there would be sections blocked off because you could not buy certain products on Sunday. That included "clothing, furniture, kitchen utensils, stoves, refrigerators, air conditioners, electric fans, washers, dryers, radios, televisions, cameras, hardware, power-driven hand tools, jewelry, silverware, watches, clocks, luggage and musical instruments." That'll make your head spin. And I think I'm right when I say car sales are still prohibited on Sunday because of the remnants of the Blue Laws.
  • If the forecasts are correct, Houston is about to be flooded like it has never been flooded before.
  • Gov. Abbott has declared 30 counties a disaster area before anything has happened. It's kind of like a Pre-Crime Division.
  • Troy Aikman has sold out to the dumbest car salesman who advertises on The Ticket. But he's keeping it real. 
  • Private plane question from a guy who has no pilot's license and has no intention to get one: If I wanted to fly from Decatur's airport (which I presume is public and tax funded) to, say, a similarly small airport in Florida, can I just do it? Do I have to file a flight plan with someone? Are there any searches or security measures? I remember taking a flight on a private plane in the early 1980s with Mike Simpson (shout out) and we just took off from Decatur and landed in Waco, and I don't recall having to check in with anyone.
  • The person who won the lottery called it a "a pipe dream."  I thought she used the term incorrectly, but I now think she's right. And the origin of the term is fascinating. 
  • Bad constable
  • I got through one hour of the 30 for 30 on the Carter Cowboys. My initial reaction is that it is very, very good. That last 30 minutes might make it great. (I loved the old high school game footage from old Texas Stadium and old Baylor Stadium. And the presence of Texas media is a great sideshow.)
  • The travel warning from the State Department because of alleged Cartel violence in Cancun and Los Cabos will kill the tourist industry in Mexico. And I kind of think it might be Trump's retaliation for current and former Mexican presidents constantly mocking him. 


Cowboys Practice Is Going On

I want to know the identity of "this group".

I Think I've Found The Most Ridiculous Building In Texas

The Spirit of Texas bank building in Conroe, Texas.

Edit: H/T to a lawyer friend I have never met who might be the hardest working man in show business. He walked into this building this morning for a mediation and tipped me off.

I've Checked My Computer Models

I don't know about the wind, but the rain down there is going to be insane.

Edit: And my Anti-Pete Delkus Thunder Truck Radar indicates the thing seems to be forming into a pretty good hurricane.

Edit: These are the rainfall predictions. (Disclaimer: They are from Delkus):

Edit @ 12:09 p.m.: This appears to have escalated rapidly.

Edit: 1:31 p.m. Uh, oh:

It's Over, Buddy. The Day Of Reckoning Is Upon You.

Edit: I'll be. He is allegedly married to the gal. It almost makes this more confusing.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

  • Potential Russian Collusion blockbuster story that you need to remember: The Dearborn Email.
  • This "And Another" stuff is getting complicated:
  • You could take every resident of Oklahoma and have them take a seat in any Texas high school football stadium. Once every single one of them are seated, there would still be empty seats
  • I don't know anything about this photo, but I love it: 
  • Bad boys. Bad boys. Whatchagonnado?
  • This is really an interesting question when you wipe the slate clean. Why can the government mandate that girls can have long hair but boys can't? I had never seriously considered it before. Story.
  • I'm almost more concerned that the passage of the Bathroom Bill could get this kid beaten up in the boys' bathroom. I'm not saying the kid is transgendered, but what if he was? He goes in the boys' bathroom in Joshua and he'll get the crap beat out of him. He goes in the girls' bathroom and not a single one of them would care.
  • Crazy baseball game last night: The Dodger's Rich Hill had a perfect game going into the third  [Edit: I obviously meant ninth. I have no idea why I typed "third"] and then the third baseman [Edit: Maybe that's why I typed "third"] committed an error. Perfect game gone, but he still had a no-hitter. He got through the inning without giving up a hit so he had a no hitter through nine innings. The problem was the game was tied 0-0 so they went to extra innings. They then sent out Hill in the tenth inning who then gave up a home run, the no hitter, and got the loss.
  • It turns out that it was Zeke
  • There was one $758 million lottery winner in Massachusetts last night. Great hypothetical today on the Ticket: If your buddy who is out of town asked you to buy a quick pick lottery ticket for him and you do it, and at the same time buy yourself a ticket but play the same numbers you always do, and the quick pick ticket wins, are you ethical enough to tell him his ticket won and not yours? I think it's a no brainer. 
  • This is Eaton High School on 287 right past the Wise County line headed into Fort Worth. If you drive by it it looks like a sports training complex. And I didn't know, or had forgotten, they were the Eagles: 
  • Tony Romo and wife now have a third boy named Jones Mccoy Romo. Weird name. 
  • The Rangers new ballpark (which I still have trouble wrapping my brain around) will officially get a sponsor today. Wild guess: Toyota.  Second wild guess: Dr. Pepper (who just dropped the agreement to sponsor the park in Frisco). My favorite: "Walker, Texas Ranger Ballpark."
  • Anyone remember Gibson's? It was the predecessor of Kmart and Targets. (I thought about that because 28 Targets  Kmart stores will be closing)
  • The President of the United States retweeted this a moment ago. We have a Man Child in the White House: 
  • He is so wheels off that he had to delete three tweets this morning because of grammar and/or inaccuracy. 
  • In the last two weeks, federal courts have struck down Texas redistricting gerrymandering and the Texas voter ID law. 


Literally, Straight Out Of Compton

I don't know if it is a repo (in which case the company might want to change the repo man) or a theft. In either case, this is insane.

Language warning.

This Is An Insane Story

They left on a homemade submarine. He made it back alive. She didn't. Once he got back to shore after being rescued, he gave a "thumbs up" to the cameras.

Above The Fold

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

  • Trump's 75 minute rant at an Arizona "rally" last night was bizarre. He sounded scared and unstable. For about 20 minutes, he whined about the media yet praised, by name, Sean Hannity and Fox and Friends. Not to mention that he went after Sen. John McCain, who has brain cancer, in his home state. 
  • For all other media outlets, he said, "They're bad people," and "They don't like our country." It is time to seriously question his mental health.
  • My favorite part was when he said CNN had just discontinued the broadcast of the speech because they couldn't stand it --- while I was watching it on CNN. He makes stuff up, and his 33% base does not care.
  • We've had an odd development in the Tarrant County judiciary. Gov. Abbott appointed an Assistant United States Attorney as a district judge to a civil bench.  Uh, that's a prosecutor to be in charge of a court which doesn't hear criminal cases. 
  • Bridgeport was without water for most of the day on Sunday. 
  • The official Liberally Lean Girl, who is very scantily clad, went after the media on stage for claiming she lip syncs. Then she went into Bonnie Rait's Let's Give Them Something To Talk About. 
  • In one of the most bizarre media stories I've ever heard, ESPN removed broadcaster Robert Lee (get it?) from the University of Virginia's (get it?) home opener. The guy is Asian-American and, it may come as a surprise to ESPN, but he was not the dead leader of the Confederate Army. ESPN tries to explain here
  • The Messenger reports that the former Wise County Democratic Chairman died from suicide via an overdose of prescription drugs and alcohol. I would go on my typical rant that there is no way a Medical Examiner could come to the conclusion that it was suicide (as opposed to an accidental overdose) but there were "suicidal-type" messages. 
  • I'd be very nervous to bet on the McGregor/Mayweather fight. Boxing has always been a dirty business. And this is a perfect set up for the fix to be in so that there would be a rematch. 
  • If you aren't familiar with the story of the young wife, Louise Linton, of the Treasury Secretary (a former Goldman Sachs guy) going off on a mother of three on Instagram, do so. After you do it, all of you hard working women out there might want to reconsider what "drain the swamp" means. 
  • And Linton has actually appeared on film as Marie Antoinette


Jon McNaughton Has Presented His New Masterpiece

If Trump doesn't order this to be hung in The National Gallery of Art in D.C. by midnight, I don't even know him anymore.

You might remember some of his past work:

That Confederate Boy Has Been Kicked Out Of School

He was the subject of the photo of the "double bird" salute a woman [hereinafter referred to as "wrench"] gave him. I posted it in Random Thoughts on Monday. I thought the photo had been taken in Boston. It wasn't. It was taken in Charlottesville on the previous Tuesday when he showed up to stand in front of the Robert E. Lee statute[*] with an AR-15 not far from where a woman was murdered by neo-Nazis.

Pensacola Christian College, where he ironically attended, has kicked him out of school. When you are a private institution, you pretty much get to do whatever you want.

"I'm a born-again Christian and I believe this wrench has hindered my attempt to serve the Lord," he said.

Edit: For those of you who think this is a First Amendment violation, your belief that the Constitution has any application/relevance to this situation is shocking.
*Edit: Ok, I misspelled that. Trust me, over the last two weeks, as a guy who has typed and said "statute" a million times since being 21 years old and rarely types "statue", I knew it would eventually happen.

The Best Thing You'll See All Day

It's old, but I had never seen it before.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • What jumped out at me during Trump's vague Afghanistan speech last night was how he started taunting Pakistan. He's picking a fight with a nuclear power? Don't we have enough problems? And then he praises their arch-enemy India: 
  • I was yelling at the TV during the speech (much to the confusion of Mrs. LL who was Blue Aproning it in the kitchen like nobody's business). I took great comfort in seeing I wasn't the only one shocked: 
  • For all of Trump's attempt to persuade us that Pakistan and Afghanistan are basically clear and present dangers to the U.S., neither are on Trump's Travel Ban.
  • A crazy story out of Ohio yesterday: A judge is walking to the courthouse, gets shot, returns fire, and then a probation officer fires and kills the would-be assailant. The judge survived. 
  • There is a heck of a mess with the Ken Paxton prosecution. The Collin County D.A. recused the office, and three special prosecutors were named who are billing the county a fortune. The Collin County Commissioners are not happy. Yesterday, "the 5th Court of Appeals in Dallas voided a $205,000 invoice dating back to January 2016, saying state laws and local rules did not allow the three special prosecutors to be paid the $300-an-hour rate they were promised."
  • Ten years ago
  • There were a bunch of Cleveland Browns taking a knee last night during the National Anthem.
  • "In what may be the largest award so far in a lawsuit tying ovarian cancer to talcum powder, a Los Angeles jury on Monday ordered Johnson & Johnson to pay $417 million in damages to a medical receptionist who developed ovarian cancer after using the company’s trademark Johnson’s Baby Powder on her perineum for decades."  I want to be skeptical, but they are getting hit with multi-million dollar verdicts left and right. Apparently women use the powder on their nether regions quite a bit. 
  • Tell me Tucker Carlson did not say this. (Link).
  • A bunch of Parker County Democrats came in to attend Rep. Kay Granger's rare appearance in Wise County yesterday. They said they had to since she won't have Town Halls.
  • I stumbled upon one of the Naked Gun movies over the weekend. They still hold up. And the comedic genius is that once someone says something nonsensical (which happens about a million times) the other character will pause, cock his head, and looked puzzled for two seconds. And then the conversation fires back up like it never happened. 
  • I'm interested in the eclipse in 2024. DFW will be in the "path of totality". 


Special Footage From Wise County

Edit: Special footage from The Star. Is that Jason Garrett? Yep. That's Jason Garrett.

Edit: Trump!
Moments earlier . . .

Dear DFW Media: Most Of You Might Be Missing A Big Trial

This is from the Tarrant County DA's "trial board":

Those are two very big name defense lawyers.

I did a quick search of the defendant's name and found out this case is about a shooting in the parking lot at Cowboy's Stadium. From 2015:

Edit: It looks like the Star-Telegram has at least one story on it. KXAS has one report.

Great Play. And I Have A Great Question.

Why should that be a home run? In football, if you catch a ball and your feet come down out of the field of play, it's not an official catch. So why not a similar baseball rule?

Hypothetical: Say we've got a sky shot home run ball in the air. Could an outfielder jump over the fence and catch it and it would  still be called an out?

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

  • carjacking lead to a police chase in Dallas over the weekend. That's a Lamborghini.

  • [Edit: This bullet point has been deleted. I was fooled by a satire web site. Shout out to BagOfNothing.com for immediately telling me I had made a horrible mistake.]
  • "That's too bad." - Donald Trump's comment on the (very bizarre) collision of the USS John McCain with a merchant ship east of Singapore which has left 10 sailors lost at sea. 
  • While you were sleeping: The University of Texas removed four Confederate statues.
  • The Dallas anti Neo Nazi protest, like it or hate it, had some funny signs. 
  • Nothing like one of the family pups stealing half of a Hot Pocket when you walk away for thirty seconds. I considered a crime of doggie execution, but decided just to yell at her instead. Then she looked back at me with that, "Whatcha gonna do about it?" expression.
  • Charlie Daniels came out in support of Trump on the issue of Confederate statues. I'm shocked,  I'm shocked I tell you, that a guy who had a hit song of "The South's Gonna Do It Again" would take that position.
  • Trust me, I did not learn this from personal experience: Clubs now have "party starters" -- paid hot girls who go up to groups and invite one of more to go out and dance with her. How long has this been going on?
  • I would never have posted the following in the past, but it is perfect and these are important times in America. So much can be said about this photo taken at the peaceful protest in Boston this weekend. Some Confederates/Neo-Nazis showed up. 
  • That was a tremendous police response in Boston. A little planning goes a long way. 
  • One guy in the comments pointed out that he had a son my age after he thought I called him a "boy." Buddy, did you think I didn't know that?
  • The marketing on toothpaste packaging almost made me laugh out loud this weekend. Powerful Whitening Formula! Extra Mint Breath Ingredient ! Extra Strength Gum Strengthening! 
  • Jerry Lewis died over the weekend. He was one mean and miserable human being over the last 20 years. 
  • Trump changed his masthead on his Twitter page. All I can think of is "We are tough, smart lawyers. Call if you have been injured. We are the Washington Hammer!"
  • I'm beginning to think I have figured out who the new Wise County District Judge will be. 
  • In news that got buried this weekend, the wreckage of the USS Indianapolis has been found. That was the subject of Quint's speech in Jaws
  • Tarrant County D.A. Sharen Wilson has announced she is running for a second term. Strap on your seat belts.
  • Trump misspelled "heal" in two tweets this weekend (he wrote "heel") and had to delete them
  • The last major solar eclipse we had was when I was in high school. We all went outside when it happened. I don't remember protective glasses but do remember being told not to look at it. In retrospect, that doesn't sound like a good plan.