Mind Bursts

  • Ate dinner at a whole in the wall (kinda) off of Main Street in Northside last night. (Costa Azul.) It was almost empty like three other similar restaurants I looked at. Don't know how they stay in business.
  • The place had some Spanish TV station on. Observation: Any Spanish female singer tends to run in place while she sings.
  • I ordered shrimp fajitas after forgetting that I really don't like shrimp fajitas.
  • If anyone every says, "Watch this" before they attempt something, entertainment is certain to ensue.
  • The NFL Network is replaying a 1994 Cowboys game against the Giants right now. I had forgotten how much I like Pat Summerall doing play by play. John Madden reminds me how long he has been beating me down.
  • I'm going to a Christmas party tonight where I'll know three people (max). Ugh. I'm not a chit chat with strangers kind of guy. I'll have my random thoughts radar in high alert.
  • If you're aware of the Dallas Cowboy locker room controversy reported by Ed Werder of ESPN, you'll get a kick out of this (language warning.)

Runaway Without Electricity Again On Saturday

Or so I've been told.


And Another

Hey, now.

Random Thoughts Live From A Seminar

  • The current speaker is a judge on the Fort Worth court of appeals. She has "shake voice."
  • The guy that welcomed me to the seminar greeted me like we were best friends. And then he fired off a, "What's that name again?"
  • Someone told me they like the way I use commas even if grammatically inaccurate. (Not seminar related.)
  • I'm at the Marriott across from the Texas Motor Speedway.
  • There is less traffic at 8:00 than there is at 6:30
  • I can't post a picture of a hot girl because everyone can see my screen. They would think there is something wrong with me.
  • When I turned on the TV this morning, an episode of The Andy Griffith Show was on. Gomer, and I'm not making this up, was protesting with a sign that read, "Down With The Gold Standard." Gave me political confused head.
  • The current speaker keeps saying "metha-amphetamine" instead of "methamphetmine". Drives me crazy. At least she is not saying methamphetamines.
  • There was a quiz before the first speaker about eight Supreme Court cases she was about to discuss. Afterwards she asked how many people correctly answered the quiz. No one raised their hand. I think that was more of a sign of, "If I raise my hand I'm going to appear arrogant." Finally, LeAnn Breading of Denton claimed she answered 7 of 8.
  • There's some lady up at the front table that is smoking hawt.
  • There is a guy speaking on jury selection right now who is very entertaining. But I remember him four years ago, at a different seminar, suddenly say, "Can I stop for a second? For all of you that work too hard and spend too much time at the office, think twice about it. Your family can fall apart on you when your not looking." As he teared up, he said, "I know."
  • Changing gears: I'm thinking about Jennifer Aniston on the cover of GQ this month.
  • I just thought about a DWI case I lost as a prosecutor when I was first starting out. A juror came up to me afterwards and asked, "How much did you believe in your case?" One of the best lessons I ever learned.
  • Getting commets that a good looking Paradise girl works here. I refuse to go look for her . . . uh . . . be back in a sec after I stroll around the property to stretch my legs.
  • Third speaker just says: "Every time a client sits down across from me, I expect a not guilty verdict." Time waste. Sometimes it's about making sure a guilty client doesn't get hurt in the system more than they should. He has 30 minutes to speak --- I don't believe another word he says.
  • The guy behind me just answered a question. I can't tell you how high pitched his voice was. It was like a cartoon character.
  • The fourth speaker just suggested what color of tie to wear for the second day of trial. I'm paying money for this?
  • More coming . . .

I'm Dying In A Seminar


Crazy Swedes

Guys falling off motorcycles, skateboards, or bicycles are a dime a dozen on the Internets. But I like this one - not for the guy doing a face plant but for (1) the demon possessed motorcycle after it loses its rider, and (2) the guy who sticks his face in front of the camera right after impact. I have no idea what he says, but it's funny.

Taken Yesterday

Yeah, you've seen it on the news but it's cooler when someone sends you a pic taken by a real camera by a real human being. (Not those alien TV people.) I've always been confused by the Space Shuttle. Can imagine the initial conversation?: NASA official #1: Uh, we gotta get it back to Florida somehow. NASA official #2: So fly the thing back. NASA official #1: It can't fly. NASA official #2: Whatdayamean it can't fly? NASA official #1: The Space Shuttle can't fly. NASA official #2: We can put a man on the moon but the Space Shuttle can't fly from California to Florida? NASA official #1: Nuh uh. NASA official #2: What do you propose? NASA official #1: We are going to have a 747 give it a piggy back ride. NASA official #2: You're kidding, right? NASA official #1: Nope. NASA official #2: And you call yourself a rocket scientist. (Thanks, Jarhead for the pic.)

From The Liberally Lean Email Bag

On my way to work this morning I saw the strangest looking cat on Business 287 at the 380 overpass. After I took a second glance at it I noticed it had something on its head. So, I turned around and parked near the cat and noticed that it’s head was stuck in a cat food can! Totally unaware of my presence, I captured a “Kodak Moment” and then went to the matter at hand…how to get the can off. Knowing that the can had to be on there tight, I knew that quick reactions were going to be needed. In one lightning fast move, I ripped the can off and that cat’s head popped out of there like a cap gun! All four legs went out in the air and when he landed, he looked up at me and shot out of there like a bullet. There is no telling how long he had been sitting there this cold morning but after he gets over his shock, he will probably be grateful for my efforts! (Thanks Bobby. And the cat presumably thanks you as well.)

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

  • In an hour, our office staff will arrive and go into a freefall panic when they realize our computer server, uh, went off last night and won't turn back on.
  • I'm not particularly pleased about that myself.
  • The Space Shuttle is in Fort Worth this morning on top of a 747. Would someone please tell me one thing we've learned in the last 10 years from that multi-billion dollar space program?
  • The Heisman trophy will be awarded this Saturday but Texas Tech's Graham Harrell has been told to stay home in Lubbock. Three finalists will make the trip. Sheesh, at least give the boy a trip to New York.
  • I like the phrase, "gave me the Heisman" as in "I tried to hit on that girl but she gave me the Heisman".
  • Finally. Loop 820 between Northeast Mall and I-35 will go from four lanes to ten lanes. That's about 15 years too late.
  • Had a fellow Wise County defense lawyer call me and tell me he had two cases (unrelated) involving the same officer where he claimed to have a consent to search -- a claim that both clients denied. There were even witnesses to back them up. He asked me if I had any similar cases involving the cop, and I discovered I had one. Later, I had another lawyer call me up and say, "Let me guess, is it [correct name redacted]?. I've got one, too." Trouble brewing.
  • Is it "poin-SET-ah" and "poin-SET-ee-ah"?
  • Had a Bridgeport teacher ask me when I was 19 where a fellow classmate had gone to college. I answered. She asked why. I said, "I think because it has a good football program." She rolled her eyes and said, "That's a good reason." You know, at the risk of sounding shallow, there are worst reasons. I'd love to have something to cheer about every fall for the rest of my life.
  • Wade Phillips' Voice = Power Down.
  • There's been more Congressional debate over a $15 billion loan to the automakers than there was the $800 billion blank check to the financial institutions.
  • And won't the airlines be lining up next for free money?
  • I hate the cell phone and never talk on it. I saw on my bill yesterday that I had over 6,000 roll over minutes (with about 500 expiring for a reason I really don't understand.) I guess that is a lot.
  • I'm no Neil Sperry, but turn off your sprinkler systems when it is freezing in the mornings.
  • Commenter observation: When MzChief and Wordkyle get worked up, they really get worked up. (And I swear I've never met either one of them.)
  • The domain www.GeorgeWBushLibrary.com was owned by the soon to be built library. At least until they let it expire. A group from South Carolina pounced on it for less than $10 and then sold it back to the library for . . . get this . . . $35,000.


Glory Days

From an old copy of Dave Campbell's Texas Football which was recovered, I think, next to the the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Welcome to Crazyville, Population: Her

I love crazy people. Heck, my best friends are crazy. Most of my eight ex-wives were crazy. I'd much rather cut it up with someone who might talk about Xena the Warrior Princess at the drop of a hat than someone who wants to talk about the political structure of India. (Unless she dressed up like an Indian belly dancer which would be kind of cool.) But I'm wasn't sure at first about this one in the video. At least until I heard the sounds she made after she drank her wine. That was a nice touch. I'm taking her to my firm's Christmas Party.

Talking Turf

Uh, that last sentence? Do you want to be committed to that stadium for that long? (From the Update. (And go buy a paper today so they won't yell at me for copying and pasting.))

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

  • Got word that MzChief was swimming outdoors at 7:13 a.m. this morning in Runaway Bay. That's probably about the time Jarhead's new nanny (I'm sorry, au pair as they say in Granbury) was bringing him breakfast in bed.
  • I think I'm the only one who gets excited over Google Streetview.
  • I turned the office thermostat down too low last night. I'm freezing at this moment.
  • I'm not sure where Megan Henderson has been this week, but Krystle Gutierrez is looking pretty, pretty good on Fox 4.
  • Stumbled across the second overtime of the Mavs/Spurs last night. Let me recap: Dribble. Foul. Free throw. Free throw. Time out. Dribble. Miss. Dribble. Time out. Foul. Free throw. Free throw. [Me asleep.]
  • Someone behind me flashed their headlights before going around me this morning. It was on 287 with two lanes going the same direction. Why did he do this? Edit: No, I wasn't in the left lane. I'm not an idiot.
  • I was appointed special prosecutor on a Wise County case where a school official pulled out the loose tooth of a child. Yep. Those are the facts. Did you know that a special prosecutor has the right to say, "This is the silliest thing I've ever seen, and I'm not going to waste a dime of taxpayers money on it?"
  • See what I mean about the predicted high of 60 yesterday?
  • A couple of weeks ago I mentioned the prosecutor in Harris County who blogged about the day he was fired because a new DA was coming into office. He's still at it. But now he's gone to whining. Suck it up, big fella, and move on with a little dignity.
  • I like Letters to the Sports Editor that are in the Morning News on Sundays. I don't know why they don't do that everyday. It fills space and every newspaper is trying to fill space.
  • Recession? The Yankess just agreed to pay pitcher CC Sabathia $140 million over six years. My Bridgeport education tells me that's $23.33 million dollars a year.
  • The Illinois governor (arrested yesterday on trying to sell a Senate seat) has one mop of a head of hair.
  • Every straight man went to work today even if was dying of death. But if you've got a co-worker who is out today, prepare to give him the business.
  • Nothing says "I love you" like a married couple killing a 16 year old cheerleader that the man had an affair with. Wait. What?
  • My daily winter dilemma: Put suit jacket on and overcoat jacket on and feel like a pig-in-a-blanket on the way to work, or leave coats off only to freeze while putting them on once I park the car at work.
  • Time Wasted? I think not: Smoking hawt San Diego Cheerleader pictures.
  • Crazy dream last night. I was on a "secret mission" (really) in the Middle East. I spent a lot of time underground.
  • The lady in the photo claims that is her with her daughter. Hello, Mother Of The Year.


Chilly In Runaway Bay

A faithful reader reports that a large part of Runaway Bay is without power.

Google Street View Of Decatur Is Up

Here. Just drag the little man over on the left over the map. (Thanks emailer Trina.) Edit: Works for Bridgeport, too. Checking on others.

Act Quickly

North of Denton right now: A "Jesus Cheeto" for $100. Craigslist post. (Thanks emailer.)

Municipal / JP Courts Drive Me Crazy

I think people get screwed in municipal and JP courts all the time. And I'm not picking on Wise County courts, it's the same everywhere. Why we put up with it is beyond me. Take this guy. He gets a ticket for possession of drug parapharnalia. This is the way the system is supposed to work: He could demand a trial before a judge or a jury and require the State to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that (1) the item was in fact drug paraphernalia, and (2) that he intentionally and knowingly possessed it (that is, he exercised care, custody and control over it.) Now, let's say he is found guilty. Then it's time for the punishment phase of the trial. The fine can be anywhere between $0 and $500. That's important. It can be ANY AMOUNT within that range. Things for the judge or the jury to consider would be the defendant's age, his criminal history, and the type of paraphernalia (was it rolling papers or was it a bong the size of a Louisville slugger?) But for some reason, in Texas the judge sends out a notice which in essence says, "I have no idea what the facts of the case are because I'm prohibited by law from knowing the facts before a trial begins, but I'm going to assume you are guilty and let you pay a fine of $508 fine." (I guess court costs are included in there to get over the maximum amount of $500.) In the perfect world, the letter would come from a prosecutor who says he has reviewed the case and is offering a plea bargain of $508. But it would also tell the the defendant has every right to reject the plea offer and demand a trial. This letter is even further complicated because the Defendant missed his first court date. The only repercussion of that act is the creation of a new charge of Failure to Appear ---- he cannot be "automatically" found guilty on the paraphernalia charge by default. This ain't civil court -- he still has the right to a trial. But this letter instead says that if he doesn't pay the $508 (on the paraphernalia charge that he has not been found guilty of) then he will be arrested on a violation of Promise to Appear and fined $377 extra dollars (which doesn't make sense because he is entitled to a different trial on whether he failed to appear for a court date of which he had legal notice and, if found guilty, have a judge a or jury assess a fine between $0 and $500.)

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • Pet Peeve: Lots of weather forecasts on the radio this morning would casually say that "the high today will be 60". Uh, yeah. Last night at midnight.
  • Recession? What recession? Jarhead has imported a nanny.
  • I once knew a guy in Fort Worth that ran off with his nanny, leaving behind a smoking hot wife. I'm not sure what happened to her. Or him.
  • UT quarterback Colt McCoy is coming back for his senior season. Ugh. They'll be really good next year.
  • Joe Duty takes pictures of the Toy Run on Sunday in Wise County.
  • A fighter pilot lost control of his jet heading back to Miramar yesterday, ejects, and lets the jet crash into a neighborhood killing three people. Maverick would not have let that happen.
  • I paid $1.48 for gas yesterday. It's like someone is playing a joke on us.
  • I've started eating low fat hamburger patties (96/4) without the bun.
  • I'd take Danny White over Tony Romo.
  • My pee wee football coach may have been the best coach I ever had. I still remember how to block and defend a block because of him. But I'm pretty sure there's no practical application for it in my daily life.
  • I would completely change the way funerals are conducted in this country if I could.
  • I wonder what the attendance at my funeral would be. Man, that would be disappointing if it were a low turn out.
  • I had that dang can't-find-my-class school dream the other night. But I've also noticed I'm incorporating football practice into it. It's always the same scenario: Team is already on the practice field and I'm in the dressing room desperately trying to find all my equipment.
  • The new Rock of Love contestants here. I think I'd choose Beverly.
  • With the exception of one, I've never had any ex-girlfriend from my 20s try and contact me. Obviously, the have emotional issues.
  • The median income for you average God-fearing Texas household: $46,248. Median income for those uppity Southlake households: $172,945 (and I suspect that's with a lot of stay-at-home moms.)
  • I wonder how many dollar stores are in Southlake? I've got a pretty good idea.
  • A Wonderful Life is not played every night like everyone claims? NBC only shows it twice a year.
  • A bunch of Blackwater guards were indicted yesterday for what appears to be a slaughter in Iraq. Who would have thought it? A bunch of private security guards roaming around Iraq, armed like nobody's business, and being name "Blackwater." (I've seen a couple of books on those hooligans and now I'm even more motivated to by one.)
  • I remember as a kid going to the metroplex for dinner with the parents. I'd sit in the back, in the darkness, no iPod, no DVD player, no nothing. Drove me crazy.
  • Restaurant flashback: Vance Godbey's.


Hey, Decatur: Duck!

And When He Was A Little Baby . . .

. . . his momma held him hoping for a moment like this in his future. (From the Cowboy game yesterday where the temperature was in the teens.)

Radio Days

I don't listen to 105.3 but if you do, there is some HUGE news going on. And if you like Russ Martin, it isn't good news.

Letter To The Editor In Messenger

Today I am going to join my good friend Ken Hughes. It is very difficult for me not to speak as a wiseacre (wise guy, smart alec). My many friends and critics will testify to that. First, I want to point out that turf does not refer to artificial grass. All grass is turf; artificial turf is artificial. That Decatur should install "artificial turf," also known as Astro Turf, is one of the more foolish ideas I have heard in some time. In the midst of what is called the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, this trial ballon has been run up, and I pray fervently that it will be shot down. To install Astro Turf would be the height of irresponsibility. Dan Mooney Jr. Decatur I had to stop reading after the second paragraph. All I could think about was Newman, from Seinfeld, talking to his girlfriend in a convertible when he says, "You see, certified mail is always registered, but registered mail is not necessarily certified."

One More Cowboy Note

I actually got sucked into the Cowboys again last week and was looking forward to yesterday's game against the Steelers. And, man, it was a good one. I'm still not sure how they lost it, but they did. Hard. But nothing compares to my teenage years when the Cowboys/Steelers met in two Super Bowls. Call it "good old day syndrome" if you will, but those were great days. (Super Bowl XIII was replayed on the NFL Network the other night and I watched every second.) The Dallas Morning News ran a story on Sunday reviewing those glory days. And then came these two paragraphs. Then, I felt old.

Random Six Man Playoff Scores From Last Weekend

They are like video games. And I'm ashamed to say I've never seen a single six-man football game.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

  • Funny Cowboy observation on the Ticket this morning: With that big jacket on, Wade Phillips looked like Ralphie's little brother in A Christmas Story.
  • Tony Romo's wheels sure do fall off at important times.
  • You see DVDs advertised in BluRay format but I haven't seen a whole lot of BluRay DVD players advertised.
  • I'm not sure if either Rick Perry or Kay Bailey Hutchison are human.
  • I slept too much this weekend. Very odd for me.
  • For Obama to be a big smoker, he sure has kept that out of the public view.
  • Stolen from Dallas Observer columnist Richie Whitt: If you're living - I mean really livin' - you'll be able to rattle off the last time you did something for the first time.
  • Uh, oh. Frontal nudity from the locker room on live TV yesterday.
  • Had a huge beat down at the cleaners on Saturday. Fifteen minutes of explaining that, yes, I brought my shirts in on Thursday. After looking through their notebook where each order is entered by hand, they finally found it. Well, at least they found proof that I dropped them off. Still trying to find the most important aspect of the transaction: The shirts.
  • At 6:30 this morning, I heard that traffic was backed up on 114 from the airport all the way into Southlake. And there wasn't a wreck. Is that normal?
  • Someone put an Evil Empire sticker on my car.
  • I feel sorry for the Longhorn player that dropped the sure interception in the last seconds of the Tech game. Think that might haunt him all his life?
  • One more college football thought: With the exception of the national championship game, all the other bowls look awful this year. For example, Tech's opponent in the Cotton Bowl is Mississippi who has four loses.
  • I bet there were a bunch of motorcycles in Wise County yesterday for the annual Toy Run.
  • Yeah, OJ Simpson got away with murder but Friday's sentence for that silly crime was grossly disproportionate to his actions. The judge said she didn't consider the past murder case in assessing punishment. She lied.
  • The automaker bailout is getting closer with a proposed "Government Car Czar" placed in a supervisory provision, and a cap on executive salaries would be imposed. Yeah, capitalism. Incredible.
  • The Bucket List looked goofy when it first came out but now I want to see it.
  • Somebody wrote that Blockbuster in Decatur was slow to open on Sunday morning.


I Don't Know

I've seen this guy's picture in an ad in the Dallas Morning News for a couple of years now. It always creeps me out because it reminds me of what I'll look like when I'm 67 (the age they claim he is in this photo.) Anyway, for some reason this pic is now showing up on Yahoo Photos and Yahoo News. The guys is supposed to turn 70 on Christmas.

And So It Goes

Bridgeport (12-1) 27
Liberty Hill (14-0) 48
Game story. Man, that was a wild first quarter.