Assuming I can get all the ingredients today, I'm starting the ten day Master Cleanser.
I've been fascinated by it since Richie Whitt of the Dallas Observer did it last month. But I feel like I'm about to go into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights.
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2.02.2009
The Master Cleanser
Assuming I can get all the ingredients today, I'm starting the ten day Master Cleanser.
I've been fascinated by it since Richie Whitt of the Dallas Observer did it last month. But I feel like I'm about to go into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights.
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59 comments:
You have lost your ever lovin' mind
Are you guaranteed to keep your Brains, if you know whay I mean?
Why would you do this? Aren't you already thin? Maybe, instead of throwing money at this, you should seek treatment for your obsession on this matter. I know, you and Silicone Alley could attend the same quack. She clearly has issues.
I figured you were full of it. Now that you are going to cleanse your self, maybe you will have a better attitude. :)
TMI
BG, I know several people who have tried this and had great results. I tried it, but only made it to day 3 and was so sick with a terrible headache, that I had to quit. Good luck.
To Barry...
Until now, I never thought were, truly, feather plucking insane. There are all manner of health risks involved in undertaking such a LUNATIC stunt like the Master Cleanse Diet.
Associated Content Health and Wellness
MSNBC
FoxNews
WebMD
I did not find a single, reputable, site, with a medical basis, that endorsed the Master Cleanse Diet as a good idea.
It's you and all the other fatso's that keep this multi-billion dollar industry alive...there's no magic program...it's called eating sensibly and in moderation.
Good Luck to you.....I think I might try this too. Ive done something similar to this before...it was a 7 day cleanse. It was awesome.
No pics, please Barry.
"mzchief, mzchief, mzchief!" ~ [change in spelling added by Jarhead] Woman in Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
Watched that last night and thought of you when she said it, mz.
One word for Cleansing - ACTIVIA.
Holy Cow it works, it's good for you and taste well also.
Give it a shot, you're guaranteed to still have your brains after a week.
You go ahead, BG. I'll keep using cream gravy as my master cleanser.
This "diet" is stupid.
Why do you want to put your body through this?
Try eating a balanced diet that is low carb and higher protein. Cut out the alcohol, exercise moderately, get adequate rest.
Start spending only a limited amount of time on your computer because its beginning to mess up your life, Barry. Your blog is not getting better.
Psssttt, you won't be able to do this when you are driving around looking for the shortest drive thru line at lunch
9:58, You go Cat-Daddy, you da man!! I'm all over that cream gravy but don't leave out them mashed tators, fried okra and sliced mators. Barry, you got to live brother, you don't know what your missing. Save your money, please, for the love of God man!! Go Fleet!
You might lose weight during these ten days, but it will be really hard to keep that weight off. I thought it was pretty common knowledge that if you lose alot of weight at once, it's not hard at all to gain weight back.
This is putting your body through hell.
I wouldn't bother with this "cleansing". You don't need to do it weight-wise. If you are eating sensibly and exercising regularly (with your plans to run in a half-marathon soon), you're OK the way you are.
I hope you don't have any trials this week, it would be embarASSing to keep excusing yourself
barry that is the dumbest thing i ever heard.
your intestines were designed to be full of crap, not your brain.
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
Can we start arguing over pot in relation to the M. Phelps bong picture?
I did the Master Cleanse last year. It was hell on your body but I did get rid of my awful migraines...I need to do it again I just had a migraine last week and me no likey.
There are no "fixes". It's a combination of eating less/right and getting the body moving that works.
You are vying for the 'dumbest smart person' I know award.
From the link: "When you first feel the rumble in your belly and your bowels, don’t go running off to the bathroom. Give it a while. Let it brew! Yeah that is weird to think about, but you should let it build up. You are going to have 3-7 movements or even more. Generally speaking, you will end up pushing out what you put in. The entire liter of Sea Salt water will be immediately expelled. This is because the solution is indigestible. You may have heard that if you are stranded at sea that you will become more dehydrated if you drink the sea water. This is why. It just comes right out of you because the mixture has the same gravity as your blood and is not absorbed.
Of Course along with the sea salt, you will be expelling waste. During the first 2 days you will be moving out remaining solid matter in the digestive track from the days previous. If you began your diet immediately this will be more true than if you Eased-in, and therefore have only juice in your system. Nevertheless, for each day you will expel solid matter. Gross to be certain, but also empowering. You really begin to understand that this process is worthwhile when you recognize the waste being removed that has been stored in your body for months, even decades.
Once you feel you can no longer hold out, go to the bathroom. A word of warning while you wait for this moment. DO NOT FART!!!. You will most certainly not pass only air - if you know what I mean. This is also true throughout the rest of your day. Don’t be fooled or you will be leaving work to change your shorts. The first movement will be rather large and fairly powerful. You will want to flush almost immediately. If you dare, have a look to understand the whole messy details"
Barry, this is insanity.
This is the diet that jump-started Beyonce's Dream Girls diet. It works.
From the sound of it you might ought to wait until you don't have to leave the house for a while, maybe take a week's vacation, after you stock up on Charmin.
This is gonna be awesome! I am looking forward to reading your next 10 days of bloggin...
FYI: Amazon sells a kit that has everything you need except the lemons. All organic products which where I live are impossible to find. I ordered the book when you first mentioned it, and I'm thinking about doing it too. Good Luck !
Good gawd...why?? Happy pooping then, I guess. Are you sure about this? :-/
Wow, that salt water flush sounds fun. Nothing like looking forward to explosive diarrhea. SNL use to advertise for Colon-Blo.
Please spare us the gory details. BG, you are a nut case!
Ridiculous
Barry- This is a terrible way to off yourself. Don't be so distruaght over the end of football season. Remember, basketball season has cheerleaders too.
If this isn't enough to talk you out this crazy scheme, just think of all the young prosecutors who are at this moment preparing some ridiculously long rambling argument to advance in court the instant you get a pained expression on your face.
BG, I have read the entire booklet by Stanley Burroughs and it makes sense. Don't look at this as a diet to lose weight, look at it as a way to jump start your body for a healthier way of eating when the cleanse is complete. Burroughs recommends a strict vegetarian diet eating mainly raw fruits and vegetables and no processed foods. I'm already vegetarian but I do eat the processed foods (Boca, etc.) and I occasionally eat fish (which I will stop). He goes on to explain that protein doesn't need to come from meat but can be consumed as the raw vegetables. I'm beginning the cleanse soon also, not for weight loss but to jump start my healthier eating habits (diet).
Looking forward to the updates. Richie Witt's accounts were interesting and entertaining, but not all that informative. Good luck.
Hey Diarhea pants, oops, I mean Barry, will we hear an explosion in Decatur ? Will the courthouse suffer irrepairable damage ? Will Brock kick you out of the building ?
Barry, if you have to go to the bathroom five to seven times in a day there's not a toilet tissue on the market that won't keep the ole bunger from hurting. Therefore, I would truly invest in a huge amount of "TUCKS". This is some great stuff and it works just like the commercial shows, you've seen it, they wrap the TUCKS pad around a lighted match and the match goes out. Yep, that wichhazel's a dream for those times. You'll breath a sih of relief and have tears in your eyes. You think the cleanse is something wait til you use the TUCKS. Why this product has never won a Nobel Peace Prize is beyond me. But good luck anyway!
Karen Carpenter started it off this way and then...WHAM,no more hits.
"Clean up on aisle 3....4....5....and register 2!!!"
Double Fake Wal-mart Manager
I have a coupon for Depends and another for Attends. Do you want me to send them to you?
Double Fake W
Well, since nobody else has, here goes:
On Dec 21, 2012 we'll all be cleansed by the master
By the way, how does a calendar just stop? If you've got one that goes for hundreds of years, why don't you extrapolate? Did the Mayans think that just b/c they quit making calendars, the world would end? Or did somebody else come up with that idea? I'm gonna hafta do some reading, cuz this is bugging me now
If I were you I would go talk to the people at the Health Food Store on Hwy 51 and see what they recommend before using the Master Cleanse.
Had to go waaay down to the bottom of the page. But after wading thru a lot of mumbojumbo, I found it on Wiki. Apparently, the Maya used several different types of calendars. And while I didn't read the whole thing, I'm just gonna guess that the significant date is the confluence of all of them wrapping up at the same time. Kinda like if the Gregorian, Jewish, Muslim, and Chinese calendars all ended on the same day:
The Mesoamerican Long Count calendar forms the basis for a New Age belief, first forecast by José Argüelles, that a cataclysm will take place on or about December 21, 2012, a forecast that mainstream Mayanist scholars consider a misinterpretation, yet is commonly referenced in pop-culture media as the 2012 problem. [12][13]
"For the ancient Maya, it was a huge celebration to make it to the end of a whole cycle," says Sandra Noble, executive director of the Foundation for the Advancement of Mesoamerican Studies, Inc. in Crystal River, Florida. To render December 21, 2012, as a doomsday or moment of cosmic shifting, she says, is "a complete fabrication and a chance for a lot of people to cash in."
Triple Fake Nostradamus
Is this only for people who have owned slaves? No wonder Skippy Hussein has white guitlt.
"Special Needs" is an apropos title.
Little BG
As I recall you were heavy into doing the "Winfields Super Cleansing System Upper GI Power Purge Program" fairly regularly 20 or so years ago.
For those not familiar, this program used Etoh in place of salt water. At first BG had trouble trying to absorb too much "purge fluid" on an empty stomach, but eventually became an old pro.
There are times when toilet paper alone just won't do
Fake Bob Sturm
Aww man, you're killing my crush on you. No woman wants a guy that's this weird about his dietary habits.
Well, that and your upcoming explosive diarrhea.
On December 21,2012 we'll be cleansed alright but, it won't be masterful.
I'm pretty sure Gleen Close is a man. I mean think about- Glenn as in GLENN (it's a mans name) what better way to cover a sex change operation than keeping your real name.
And she gets more manly as the years go by and she has and Adams apple AND big manly hands.
Yeah, she's a man I'd bet on it.
You won't be able to exercise while on this thing.
Get a road bike and a good pair of running shoes. Work your way up to 50+ miles running and 150+ miles on the bike a week. You look and feel better and be in better overall shape than going on this cleanse thing. Plus you will be able to eat whatever you want.
Doubt many (if any at all) professional athletes do the master cleanse.
Aren't you training for a half marathon anyway?
Barry this is GOD talkin at ya and you're trying to clean the wrong part.
Start first with the spirit then the body.
Also,take some Banjo lesson as this will divert your wasteful time sitting in the drive through line.
Oh yeah,one last thing,don't wash your hands at Sweetie Pies cuz the water is hot as HELL!
OK, I asked for a diversion from the political crap! Lesson learned: be careful what you wish for.
Idiots deserve the runs. Self-inflicted? More appropriate still
Barry, they sell a product at Walmart called Fleet (Oral laxitive). You drink it following the directions, it will cleanse you out.
My doctor tells me to get this the night before my colonoscopy. It works wonders! You don't eat anything all day long, take a dose about 6pm and then the next moring when you get up-take the rest. Don't plan on going to work or anywhere for a couple or three hours.
We at WomenBeTrippin.com did the Master Cleanse too.
It was terrible.
Check out our videos and story here.
You have got to be kidding 3:03.
"Winfields Super Cleansing System Upper GI Power Purge Program"?
LOL
3:49
That would be Ann Coulter.
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