blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: And You Wonder Why I Hate The Family Cat?

5.24.2011

And You Wonder Why I Hate The Family Cat?

Just got news of this.

Edit: Many of the double entendre comments, although inspired and shocking, cannot be printed. The management thanks you for your interest.

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

My cat climbed the curtains when she was little but only until we had her "fixed". Then she never did that again but she did get into things. She just didn't do the running around the house like a crazy creature.

Anonymous said...

Puddy.....It will get you every time.

Anonymous said...

Naughty kitty and not likely to get any better. You know they run things. Just don't let it trip you and make you fall down the stairs.

Anonymous said...

I told you about my plans to play with the drapes yesterday...remember?

Wait until you find the "special gift" I left behind....just....for....you.

Double Fake the Family Cat

Anonymous said...

I have a pellet rifle...

Anonymous said...

lead poisoning

Anonymous said...

Needs a mate!

Anonymous said...

My dad and my mom's siamese cat hated one another. Dad was a little bitter that the cat outlasted him! 18 years later the marriage ended and he moved out--he said the cat watched him leave!

Anonymous said...

I have never understood this need of certain people to keep "animals" in their house. We build houses to keep nature out. Pets belong outside. Why would you let anything soil and destroy your house by choice. Be in charge, be the human, kick that animal out.

Anonymous said...

Must be an OKC Thunder fan.

Anonymous said...

Obviously the cat doesn't like defense attorneys. Kind of like criminals, the cat didn't do it, but they will always have someone to claim their innocence. Fits well for you. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

LOL @ 1:31.

Anonymous said...

Only a pantywaste would continue to bitch about the cat yet do nothing about it...If you gotta pair then man up and do what you gotta do. Otherwise quit yo bitchin', whining, moaning, and complaining. Lemme guess that wifey of your wears the pants in the family right? Wuss.

Anonymous said...

I know this happened during the day, but possibly try making her sleep in a kennel at night. Then sometimes it just takes the animal getting older.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure he wears the pants in the family, the wifey just tells him which ones to wear.

Anonymous said...

It's a cat! Sometimes, cats do things like that! Why did you get it in the first place if you were clueless about what a cat can do? Don't blame the cat.

Dogs can be destructive too you know. I had a dog once who chewed the remote, ate the corner off the couch and did some major damage in a bathroom trying to get out of the house.

Never will understand people who get animals without taking in all scenerios of what may happen and then want to blame the animals for being animals.

Anonymous said...

A simple search found this. Assuming it is for an adult cat. Anyone with pet experience knows that kittens and puppies under two years of age can be quite a handful in the destruction department.

http://www.ehow.com/about_5087852_siamese-cat-problems.html

Anonymous said...

Siamese are notoriously hyper and full of mischief. Who could forget the scene from Lady and the Tramp?!?

Anonymous said...

kill the kitty, kill the kitty, kill the kitty....

Anonymous said...

Boy, your life has turned to hell since you got married. LMBO

Tater Salad said...

A .357 round is WAY cheaper than those curtains. Prollem solved!!!

jkcrooks said...

Looks like all of the evidence is circumstantial. I think neighbors came in the house, tore down the drapes and then laced the broken drapes with catnip. A classic set-up.

Anonymous said...

Now you've gotten me curious about the double entendre comments that cannot be printed :(

Anonymous said...

Clearly, the Green family does not have a sense of humor. That is some funny stuff right there!

Mr. Mike Honcho said...

Barry, some of us understand that pet situations are not always that simple when the wife and kids are in the picture.

So, send them on vacation without you, boot cat outside, claim it went nutty and ran out the door, and live in peace again.

Tater Salad said...

I wish I could get my puddy tat to tear me up like that!!!

Anonymous said...

Declaw the thing. It may not help but at least you will know you caused it pain, lots and lots of pain.

Anonymous said...

Sure is a lot of beige in that picture.

Anonymous said...

Is your cat kin to Sharon Green?

Anonymous said...

I still think your wife is crazier.

Rage

Anonymous said...

I don't know, I kinda like it when the cat goes nuts and climbs the curtain. As long as it's quiet doing it. Nothing worse than neighbors complaining about a screaming cat climbing your curtains, although in some situations it could tend to attract more cats, which may be a pretty good thing.

Anonymous said...

Obviously Barry doesn't know how to make the cat in his life content.

Anonymous said...

Barry,

In reviewing the Colonial pictures, I noticed mostly one kind of beer in everyone's hands. I would like to hear you and your audience address the issue of not being able to get certain beer at local establishments. Since when do we not get a choice of the prefered flavor of beer. I go to places that will serve 27 different kinds of Samuel Adams or Coors Light. If a beer has more than 5% of the beer market nationwide, wouldn't it be smart for the establishment to serve it? I drink Coors original and am offended evertime I order and the waitstaff says "we don't serve Coors, but we have Coors Light". NOT THE SAME THING. Beer drinkers have feelings, too.

Coors Original Fan

Anonymous said...

Maybe it wanted to see if the the carpet matched the drapes.

Anonymous said...

#5 Iron

Anonymous said...

I AM HURT. I sent many, many great one liners....and you posted none. I understand the puddy context, while funny, isnt what is desired for your readers.

Barry, I dont think you love us anymore.

Uncle Ted's first cousin once removed, Darryl

Anonymous said...

Ah, I think I see the problem. This is clearly no ordinary wise county country cat. This is a premium, double latte, highly pedigreed, siameeesy or burmeeesy kinda cat. Very high strung.

Perhaps you should trade her in for a low life trailer double wide heinz 57 kinda cat :-)

Anonymous said...

To extend the suggestion of 5:52, why don't you swap said feline for a box turtle. Hyperactivity problem fixed. Plus, you have a new door stop. A two-fer!

My Other Brother Darryl

Anonymous said...

Go to wal mart to the cat aisle and buy a cube for the kitten to play with and buy the tunnel that makes a crinkling sound and the kitten will have fun with those things.
Also buy the stick with the feathers on it and play with the kitten. It is bored!!

Anonymous said...

I had a wife once that was all high strung kinda like that cat. I got a motorcycle for her................................









Best trade I ever made

Goober said...

Man your a defense attny. Don't you know what it is to take something "for a ride" and come back alone?

Anonymous said...

agreed...high class cat. Low Class Neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

Leave the door open, problem solved.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the cat wanted a better view of the tornado coming to town. Wanted to know when to take cover. The other possiblity is to know when you come home so he could pounce on you when you open the door.

mzchief said...

The Family Cat needs to be fixed...

I know, I know, it has already been spayed but it needs to be F I X E D! You might want to, just for personal satisfaction, use a 12-gauge.

Anonymous said...

I think this cat is a Republican and he's out to torture you!

Anonymous said...

kitty cocktail anti freeze and water