5.22.2008

I Present To You: Decatur Speedo Man


Thanks emailer. 100% Gold.

79 comments:

Anonymous said...

that guy is a legend.

Anonymous said...

thank you thank you thank you!!!

i have been waiting for years for this picture to be on this blog!

i miss seeing him everyday!

Anonymous said...

that's nothing! just you wait for the good ole 4th of July flag speedo!!

Anonymous said...

Way to go to which ever of "The Brain Child's" followers snapped that pic.
Awesome!
:-)

Anonymous said...

Wow, we should all feel that free with body image. No more slimfast meals, nutrisystem junk, bland salads and running five miles a day - just mow, strip down and enjoy life.

Bet he will live longer than most.

Go speedo!

Anonymous said...

I'm too sexy for my shirt.
Too Sexy for my Pants,
--by Right Said Fred

Anonymous said...

Wait until you catch he and his wife outside on their swing. She has on a bathing suit as well, thank goodness!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, he even has a tramp stamp.

Anonymous said...

Looks a lot like the people who hang out at the gym and pay for sweating because illegals mowed for them. He does it the old fashion way and sweats in his daily activities.

House of R & R said...

I'm pissed and green with envy! I wish someone would throw me a good bone like this for my blog!

The war is on buddy!

Silicone Alley said...

My favorite is his tangerine speedo.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if I'd get any attention if I whacked my Banjo in the front yard.

Silicone Alley said...

Love the new heading. It really captures the essence of Wise County.

Anonymous said...

What kind of tattoo is on his back?

Anonymous said...

Isn't mowing with bare feet dangerous?

Tia said...

Dang it, we never get to see good stuff like this up here in Idaho! Of course, it's a little difficult to see detail, but it would appear the guy has NO body hair! When I was at the beach in Greece, ALL the men wore speedos and a big giant hair rug. Ewww!

Anonymous said...

I'd get skin cancer if I did that.

Anonymous said...

this pic made my day!!during the summer we have a game we play, we try to guess what color speedo he'll be wearing... good times

lovelit said...

Husband and I were driving the other day, saw a man talking in his yard wearing what we thought to be his underwear. So, of course, shared the story with Mom. She asked if we were sure it wasn't a Speedo. I laughed and said no, but I'm thinking I was wrong. This was the guy. God Bless America.

Anonymous said...

Hooray! Speedo Man has been a Decatur gem for almost 20 years...we use to make laps in front of his house just to check out the Speedo color of the week. This guy is my hero. Own it Speedo Man. Own it.

Anonymous said...

I just lost my boner!

mzchief said...

To Barry...
You are responsible for me nearly losing a perfectly good lunch. Surely, in good old red-neck Decatur there are laws AGAINST mowing a lawn while only wearing a speedo without wearing safety gear/shoes/pants/shirt.

For the love of humanity, you are a lawyer, dig through the city statutes and save our eyes from Speedo Mower Man.

Why is that ripped handsome guys never mow their lawns wearing only a speedo?

Anonymous said...

I bet it would hurt like hell if a rock flew up from underneath the lawn mower and struck him on the end of his pecker.

zooboomafoo said...

i have missed him! we used to purposefully drive by his house on the way home in intermediate school...good times.

Anonymous said...

1:39 That would hurt like @#$% if you were wearing jeans...i'm just sayin'.

mzchief said...

*YiKeS*
We can say "pecker" on Barry's blog? Mind you, I have never, in the real world, said "pecker" when referencing male genitalia.

Anonymous said...

1:39 That made me laugh my arse off.

Silicone Alley said...

Local Wise County resident did not hit pecker with flying rocks during annaul grass cutting ceremony....6 months of extreme heat predicted.

betty boop said...

Discounting the fact that it may be "painful" for most of us to look at speedo man (just cracks me up)...but, honestly, just one time I would like to be secure enough in myself to do something like that and not give a flying flip what anyone thinks...I definitely give him "props" for that :)

Jesse Jackson in drag said...

How come it's OK to say pecker but not nigger? There are more potential offendees with penises than there are with nappy hair.

Anonymous said...

I think you should change the banner heading under LLFTLODQ to "A look at all the weirdos in Wise County".

Anonymous said...

Very inappropriate Jesse Jackson in drag.

I do however, miss seeing speedo man out on his front porch and out mowing.

Priceless.

Anonymous said...

THE PERFECT MAN!!
- He has a mullet
- He is sporting a speedo
- He has a tramp stamp
- He has self confidence
- He gets off his ass and does something around the house!

BG: I think I'm in love.

Anonymous said...

We will all be equal December 21 2012

Anonymous said...

Funny blog and comments. But Barry, it's 100%, NOT .100%. The latter would be one-tenth of one percent (which would be .001 in decimal values). Yah gotta remember--DON'T PUT DECIMALS IN FRONT OF NUMBERS IF YOU USE THE % SIGN!! (Unless you mean a REALLY small number.) Of course it's a miracle I could still see the "error" after my eyes were put out by the picture image on the blog! Loved the pic, the blog, and all the comments.

House of R & R said...

An Emmy or an Oscar? Puleeeezzzz. Eyes rolling...

Anonymous said...

Do you remember the beer comercials on the radio about Mr. way to proud of Texas man.There were so others too. I think Mr. I mow my yard in a speedo needs a song. but not a thong.

Anonymous said...

He has his blue Decatur Screaming Eagle banana hammock on!!

Anonymous said...

So this blog is still here.

Anonymous said...

hey 3:43

you're a moron.
it's a period (.) after "Thanks emailer"

I'm just sayin...

Anonymous said...

Um,3:43, that's not a decimal in front of 100%. That's a period at the end of the sentence.

Silicone Alley said...

3:43... I think he meant
Thanks emailer(period)100% Gold(period)

Tia said...

I just noticed the other half of the banner. Somehow having a fat guy in a speedo and a sign referencing catfish all in the same banner just seems wrong. 'Course, I think I'm just jealous. You can't get catfish up here in Idaho, and I should just be so lucky to have a neighbor out mowing his lawn half nekkid.

Anonymous said...

I can just imagine him, in his Speedos, without any protective equiment mind you. It's right before he starts mowing the lawn.....he's holding his water hose up over his head, wetting himself down, from top to bottom.

I'm gonna fight ya for him in the Decatur Wal-Mart parking lot, 3:34PM. Meet me up near the gas pumps at 12 midnight if you dare.


Mmmmmmmm......there is nothing better than wet mullets.

Anonymous said...

.....catfish?

What about the restroom, 5:35PM?

mzchief said...

To anonymous 6:24...
I have been to Idaho. There are restrooms in Idaho but they are not as proud of there restrooms as the folks in Wise County are of their restrooms. At least, I have never seen restrooms advertised in Idaho.
*;)

Anonymous said...

mzchief, udaho.

Anonymous said...

congrats BG...you got Mzchief to come out of hiding..well done.

mzchief said...

To anonymous 9:52...
I was not hiding. I was working. I had to prepare a couple of papers and a few seminars to present at a professional conference the second week in May. It SUCKS when people expect me to work during business hours and PROVE my worth and produce a measurable work product.

I must admit, I am truly surprised at having been "missed." A lesson to those who mentioned my alias. Do not EVER mention the name of someone who is not present especially if you do NOT want to endure their return.
*;)

It is good to be back playing in the kitty poop strewn sandbox that is Barry's blog.

Anonymous said...

misschief...speedo man wouldn't do you!

shu said...

that restroom sign is from dairy queen.

Anonymous said...

Not sure if that is the real mz.....cannot imagine her saying there restrooms as opposed to "their" restrooms........just saying....

RPM said...

How in the world does he keep his lawn free of grassburrs???

mzchief said...

To anonymous 10:33...
You are absolutely correct. Speedo Mower Man would not do me because I would not do him. I am happily married with standards well above yours. You do realize it is disgusting for you to speculate on the sexual behavior of other adults not associated with your personal sexual behavior, right. Oh, of course you are not aware of this bit of standard behavior because CIVILIZED/DECENT people know this type of information.

mzchief said...

To anonymous 12:02...
It is truly ME. I was talking on the phone and playing wii Bowling while composing the "restroom" comment. One of these days I will proofread my comments PRIOR to clicking the publish link.

Thank you for the grammar check.
*:)

Anonymous said...

Thanks 1:39 I just spit Coffee everywhere.....Thats some funny shit........

Anonymous said...

Speedomans family has lived on that corner for 60+ years. His father,brothers and others built that house when he was little.

Anonymous said...

I’ll bet money this guy was a porn star back in the 70s!

Anonymous said...

He is definitely comfortable in his own skin. You've got to give him that. I wonder if he reads this blog. If so, I bet he will be looking over his shoulder more the next time he mows the lawn!

Anonymous said...

9:15... He doesn't care, because a couple of girls I work with found out about him and stopped by and got him to take a picture with them. He also gives out candy at Halloween with that thing on.

chupa the cabra said...

When I was a kid you could walk by their house and find Speedoman passed out in the front seat of his old blue Impala. I distinctly remember 2 times. One stands out because he was so beat up and bloody you would have assumed he was dead until you heard him moaning.He had large knots all over his face. Both of his eyes were black and later he was seen sort of feeling his way around. His eyes were nearly swollen shut.
Another time he was snoring away with his feet sticking out the passenger window. We went up to the car and saw a pack of Camels, a bottle of Thunderbird Wine and a small chrome revolver on the front floorboard hump. I don't remember how on earth we got that wine and smokes out of that car but we did. We were scared out of our minds. Thinking about it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up today.
We ran off to some empty lot with our swag. I remember smoking the cigarettes.I would not touch a cigarette on a bet today but, although strong, they were sweet tasting. They tasted very good in fact. We found out he kept his smokes in the glove box of his car. I think we borrowed a few packs here and there from him.
I don't remember drinking the wine at all but,I'm sure we did.
I'm glad he's is starting to get the status he so richly deserves.
Speedoman You Rock Dude!!!!!!!

The End

chupa said...

I also remember he had an old blue truck once. It had 2 antennas on it that were comically long.Thinking back they actually seem incredibly long and must have been illegal. They each had tennis balls on them to keep from marring the paint. It marvelled me as he drove by me on my bike. Above the back window it said in mailbox letters "Sit And Bull"

Anonymous said...

speedoman vs. ralph hardy. Who wins?

Hungry at High Noon said...

Is that what they mean by "manscaping"?

I had no idea that Greg Louganis moved to Wise County.

Anonymous said...

I'll never forget my first encounter with Speedo-Man - Halloween 1998, a particularly warm evening and the sight of a multi-colored clown wig and the Speedo as he answered his front door made me ban my children from that house eternally.

Yes, he's a legend

Anonymous said...

It wouldn't take a clown wig nor any kind of clothing or the lack thereof to insure my children stayed away. Did you NOT SEE THAT HOUSE?
I'll try to be gentle here considering the circumstances. Are you an idiot or just making that one up? If you took children to that door you are a doofus. If you went there expecting those folks to hand your little snowflakes something they are going to place in their mouths you are retarded.
His antics are for adult entertainment only.

Anonymous said...

mzchief is hot I bet.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he IS Ralph Hardy?

Anonymous said...

To 2:41, we had moved to Decatur in 1998, lived way out in the country and the kids wanted to trick-or-treat. So, we grabbed our hand-out candy and headed into town. I've never been one to judge folks by their surroundings, or what they drive, or wear, or do for a living, so no, the house didn't phase me, Speedoman, however, was a bit much to take, so we just steered clear of that corner after that.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry-I'm an ass.

Anonymous said...

you won't believe it but my husband and i were crusing one afternoon shortly after we met, and this has been some 19 years ago, not being from this wonderful wise little county!! he was showing me all the sites!! up one little road, over another when I spotted the guy wearing the brightest LIME GREEN (THEN) i thought it was undies~~ but SPEEDO, and i was pointing and turning in the seat trying to get my honey to go back cause he acted like he didn't believe me..... HE was KIN to him and wouldn't turn back for fear of what?? that he would have to look at his ?? cousin!!! lol, LMAO.....

Anonymous said...

odd but don't they in wise ~ eeerrr
cities call fellows who look and act and display their speeedo's ... perverts? or unfavorable for small audiances? com' on people ~~ but you don't get many clues on this one that he just ain't " RIGHT " .... wise up!!

Anonymous said...

I went to school with his kids. Very good people.

CAN YOU PROVE IT IN A COURT OF LAW? said...

Seems Mr. Speedo man sent a postcard to WWW.POSTSECRETS.COM


Funny stuff.

Anonymous said...

"Decatur Speedoman" begs the question,"Where are the others?!?!"
Can I have the Weatherford territory?

Anonymous said...

Years ago my girlfriend lived down the street from Speedoman. You see that big tree above him in the picture? After he started talking to us one evening while we were out for a walk I innocently commented on how pretty his Pecan Tree was and I wish I had one like that in my yard. He said," I can give you one of its children at least." And went to his backyard for a minute or two. When he came back he was holding an about 2 feet tall Pecan Tree with it s roots wrapped in a ball of dirt.
I took it home and planted it. It didn't grow but at least I walked across Decatur looking silly holding that tree and there is some solace in that I suppose.
The End

j.j.l. said...

bahahahaha!!!! I lived in Decatur for 13 years. Speedoman was a staple in our little town. Everyone knew about him! He was often the butt of our jokes back in the day.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA!!! Oh my gosh speedo man! I remember him! He is seriously a legend. My friends and I were talking about him today. He has a wide collection of speedos.

Anonymous said...

Is this guy still around? I haven't been to Decatur in years and I was wondering about him the other day.