The Campaign For DA


Politics For Dummies

With "Super Tuesday" approaching next week, this is what we have left:

Republicans: Rising from the ashes, is John McCain who is the current crotchety front runner. This is driving the hard-line conservatives crazy since they don't think he is conservative enough. Those hard-liners are supporting Mitt Romney even though he's a Mormon and his wife wears that special underwear (and I'm not talking about those cute thongs that stick up out of the back of her jeans). Former pastor Mike Huckabee is on life support despite winning Liberally Lean's online GOP caucas about four weeks ago. Fred Thompson, who won that same poll last summer, quit campaigning a couple of weeks ago but it was hard to notice any difference. Rudy Giuliani, who had been the favorite of Texas Gov. Rick Perry, quit yesterday after having a campaign that was managed about as well as the Wise County Animal Shelter. Ron Paul was last seen walking the streets of Chico mumbling to himself.

Democrats: It's down to a two person race: Obama and Clinton. Obama has all the momentum but the national polls still show Clinton in the lead. So it's a toss up between a woman and a black man which is pretty neat because, and I'm pretty sure about this, we've never had a woman or a black man as president. Clinton had to tell her husband to shut up this week although he's still her greatest asset. Ted Kennedy endorsement of Obama this week would be a death nail for his campaign in Texas if most Texas rednecks hadn't already written him off for being named "Obama." (Of course, no Democratic presidential candidate will ever carry Texas - at least not for the next 20 years until the certain demographic change occurs.) Trial lawyer John Edwards quit yesterday because everyone hates trial lawyers.

Pop quiz on Friday.