blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: Problem Solved

1.15.2010

Problem Solved

I never thought I'd wake up today an google "geodes", but I'm glad I did. You see, I just had what smart people call "an epiphany." In case you didn't know, a geode is a rock that, best I can tell, is hollow but has a pretty crystal inner crust. (Think Tootsie Pop without the chocolate center.) Now I'm sure those boys in the Wise County Fossil, Rock and Mineral Society can always accept a couple of new members, right? And I'm sure the boys and girls in the North Texas Singles Club wouldn't mind checking out those in the Mineral Society (especially since the members of the latter have to be in shape from walking all over the Southwest Proper looking for sedimentary and metamorphic rocks), right? Well, problem solved: Take a couple of big geodes. Bust 'em in half. And, voila, we got us a fancy punch bowl and dip bowl! Throw in some Maddog 20/20 and some bean dip, get those two societies together, and we've got us a full blown Wise County mixer the likes of which hasn't been seen since the joint Baptist/Methodist revival in the 1970s. E-harmony couldn't have done a better job.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

you forgot the chisolm trail antique tractor club

Anonymous said...

That's a bran muffin, Bart!

Guinjames said...

If you tell them there are rocks with crystal in them you'll have a bunch of Wise County residents show up (albeit toothless residents).

Anonymous said...

I googled gonads and all that came up was "of which liberal weenies have none."

Anonymous said...

Weak.

You're getting desperate.

Adolf Oliver Bush said...

Hell, I thought it was funny Barry.

Anonymous said...

I thought The Hot Skillet closed. Where is it located now?

Anonymous said...

Every once in a while you get on a roll and you're pretty damn clever, dude.

Most of the time you're just an annoying weenie with a gaggle of psychopapathic sycophantic commentors, half of whom I hate on any given day. I usually agree with everyone else.

I love this country.