- It's about jury selection.
- The lady sitting beside me has orange hair.
- A gal in front of me has the thickest country accent you've ever heard (and that's coming from me.)
- Criminal defense lawyers' are a motley crew.
- You can't go to a seminar without hearing how unfair Williamson County is.
- I'm the only one here from Wise County.
- There are two hot women in this room.
- I had to sign a statement that (1) I practiced criminal law and was not a prosecutor, and (2) I wouldn't distribute the materials.
- They had fresh fruit for breakfast.
- I'm keeping a list of things I've learned that I didn't know. (So far, I've got two. But it's early.)
- Lisa Blue is a speaker. (She's the recent widow of big time Democratic money man Fred Baron.) Edit: She just showed the dumbest movie clip of a trial scene I've ever seen. It was so obscure I have no idea what movie it was from. Edit #2: Good lord, she just talked about how proud she was to work under former Dallas DA Henry Wade. Trust me, in this crowd, that doesn't impress us. Edit #3: She's done. She had no business speaking at a criminal law seminar.
- I never wear my name tag at a seminar.
- Lunch is catered by Campisi's!!!! Pic (which doesn't show the garlic shrimp dish.)
- Just heard one of the hot girls on the phone. "We're thinking about doing an HH in the West Village later." Being bilingual and speaking a little Navajo, I think she's referring to a "happy hour."
- War stories from lawyers whip me. They never talk about their losses, do they?
- The HH girl has a raspy voice, is Catholic, is a public defender, a cusser, and kinda funny. She was complaining that one of her difficult court appointed clients had told her he wanted a "real lawyer." She said she was going to bring a "Criminal Law For Dummies" book to his trial to get back at him.
- Huge debate going on on whether it is unethical or improper to do the following legendary trick: During jury selection in a drug possession case, to have a potential juror reach under her seat to find a packet of cigarettes (or other prop) that you had placed there earlier (in order to demonstrate you can be in close proximity of something but not know it was there.) I really don't have a problem with that. One lawyer in the room claimed he got chewed out by a judge for doing it.
- We've got chaos breaking out with the following ethical hypo: Your client comes in, says he shot his wife with "this gun", puts it on your desk, and walks out. What do you do?
- Hot chick slipped out early.
- A lady beside me just made reference to a Wise County lawyer by name. I didn't chime in.
- A friend, knowing I was in a seminar, sent me an email. When I opened it, it had a very dirty word in two inch type. The sender thought that would be funny when I opened it up in a crowd.
- There's one lawyer in here who won't shut up. He needs to shut up.
- I wonder if the hot girl went to happy hour at 2:30?
- I failed to mention she was about four inches taller than me.
- Of all my many bad stock picks, I'm glad I don't own Citigroup today.
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31 comments:
Don't you mean "Criminal defense lawyers' [sic] are a Mötley Crüe"?
You're so stupid sometimes Barry.
Barry, check out this video news report of two separate incidents, on the same day, of car drivers failing to yield the right of way to motorcycle cops escorting funeral processions in Houston. 4-wheel drivers do it all the time, but most of the time the 2-wheeler can avoid the crash. Remember, these are police bikes w/ emergency lights flashing, and these 2 people hit them anyway.
http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=6671281
There are two hot women in this room.
Pics?
Barry,
Sounds like you are totally immersed in the subject matter!!!
Waste of time and $$$===WHOSE???
Barry, quit snapping phone pics and pay attention.
Double Fake 1 of the 2 "hot babes"
Are at the Law Institue, in Plano. Thats a great facility.
A cop told me they don't even teach what drivers should do for a funeral procession in drivers ed.
I witnessed the near death of a motorcycle cop in an intersection trying to hold up traffic against the lights--awful!
You should get a name tag that says "Anonymous". It would interesting to see how many of your peers notice.
Double Fake Lt. Daniel Kaffee
whenever i get name tags that say "Hello My Name Is..." i always write:
"...Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
HH = Huddle House
On Barry's name tag:
Old and available.
:-)
They had fresh fruit for breakfast. I always knew criminal lawyers ate their own.
11:58,
His name was "Inigo" Montoya.
But that was still a good one.
Double Fake Mandy Patinkin
Barry, I don't know you and I'd totally make out with you. You're funny.
That's easy. You take the gun and turn it in for a fifty dollar food voucher.
Barry, I don't know you either and I would totally make out with you. Barry Manilow
I'd totally make out with you too and give you a happy ending.
That is if I wasn't playing D&D with my buddies at my mom's house.
TRX
Driver's ed is now optional, right? Do you even take a test anymore. I thought now when you turn 16 you takes the paper that says you're enrolled in HS along w/a copy of your grades and get a learner's permit and you have to have so many hours logged of driving time (on the honor system) and then after the six months and so many hours you go and get your DL. How often do you think a person comes upon a funeral procession in the after school hours? It prob. doesn't come up during your parent guided hours of drive experience time.
You call the Sheriff and have someone go check on the wife and to get help to her if needed. He says he shot her, not that he killed her, so she probably needs medical assistance. You also arrange a way for your client to turn himself in to the local police. You do not touch the gun under any circumstances and have cops come retrieve from your desk top.
What would you do BuBear?
Double Fake Your Conscious
Anybody know the Mr. Kight in this story? And do you know if he's a card carrying communist, or just a communist sympathizer?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/27/us/27govs.html?_r=1&em=&pagewanted=print
The stimulus plan includes doubling the amount of cash we give in foreign aid to help those in need around the world. Once we finish dropping to the same economic level as those countries, they won't hate us for being a rich country, instead they'll hate us for not giving them money anymore.
Are you even paying attention to this "seminar"
I guess the hot girl didn't give up drinking for lent
ummm, from a proud owner of Citigroup... thanks for rubbing it in, Barry!
"I failed to mention she was about four inches taller than me."
So, you're saying she was average height for a woman?
Citigroup= $h!++ygroup
Good move Citigroup, I was hoping it would push the DOW below 7,000. It tried, maybe Monday.
You are "Criminal Defense Liars" not lawyers
What do you mean you don't own Citigroup? We all do now.Forty percent of it anyway.
We don't own it. We are in debt to the Chinese for Citygroup. Your great grandchildren might own it if they are able to pay off your debt to China. McCain is right by calling it generation theft.
I'm sorry your seminar didn't in some way refresh your joy in your profession. I spent Friday and half of Saturday at conference for English teachers, and I'm anxious to get back to school and use a few of the ideas I gathered. After 12 years in the profession, I still come back energized from conferences!
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