Our district judge was in a good mood today when he tolerated a couple trying to get divorced when the case was set for an "agreed prove up."
They both approached the bench, the judge asked to see the paperwork about the agreement, and the guy says she still had "some of my stuff."
Judge: "So this isn't really isn't agreed, is it?"
Him: "She can have her divorce, I just want my stuff."
But the guy had a hard time coming up with a list of property that he was owed. Normally, you'd see a judge tell them to come back when everything is agreed to or go hire a lawyer if it was going to be a fight. But he worked through it and got them divorced. (The ex-husband will get his "collectible beer" back, by the way.)
Then the soon-to-be-divorced guy made me feel a little sad when he announced, "Thirty five years [of marriage] wasted." But his dramatic exit out of the courtroom kind went awry when he smashed in the back door (you pull it, don't push it.)
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2.23.2009
The People's Court
Our district judge was in a good mood today when he tolerated a couple trying to get divorced when the case was set for an "agreed prove up."
They both approached the bench, the judge asked to see the paperwork about the agreement, and the guy says she still had "some of my stuff."
Judge: "So this isn't really isn't agreed, is it?"
Him: "She can have her divorce, I just want my stuff."
But the guy had a hard time coming up with a list of property that he was owed. Normally, you'd see a judge tell them to come back when everything is agreed to or go hire a lawyer if it was going to be a fight. But he worked through it and got them divorced. (The ex-husband will get his "collectible beer" back, by the way.)
Then the soon-to-be-divorced guy made me feel a little sad when he announced, "Thirty five years [of marriage] wasted." But his dramatic exit out of the courtroom kind went awry when he smashed in the back door (you pull it, don't push it.)
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18 comments:
Best. Picture. Ever.
..."EXIT"...stage left...
heeheehee
As if there's ever really any agreement. Hell, you just say "uncle" and sign the damn thing to stop the hemorrhaging, and hope to open the paper the next morning to learn that her attorney and your attorney were caught in the crossfire of a liquor store robbery overnight...
I got to keep my can of Billy Beer too.
that door problem could be solved if everyone carried a battering ram with them to court.
or i guess tunnels in and out of the place would help a little
Poor Bastard...
I would have took it in the Pants also but (no disrespect to Barry) Thank the Lord for Charlie Smith, a good Friend and killer attorney he made Jim Adler look like a Puppy Dog...
Marriages are like motorcycles,sooner or later you're are gonna get hurt or somethin.
Yep, I know a little about these kinds of things.
poor bastard my ass, he was probably schtupping his secretary
This reminds me of that time, back in 1978 when I bought that book called something like "Divorce Texas Style" and typed up all my own divorce papers, on legal paper, with a typewriter, biatches.
So, I did that.
And then I went to make copies of said divorce papers where I worked, which at that time was the Motorola plant over on North Beach Street........there was thousands of people working there at that time.
Much to my chagrin, I left one of the pages in that whopper of a copier, someone found it, and I instantly became a for-free divorce consultant - I can't recall how many people asked me about doing their divorce papers. I declined every request but shared my book.
I've told the same story on Barry's blog before - anyone remember?
Oh, and the really funny thing was when I was standing before the Tarrant County Divorce Court Judge and he asked me if I was pregnant, I said "No, Your Honor."
But I was lying. I was pregnant with my now nearly 30 year old son, by the man I was divorcing my loser husband to be with.
I had an abortion prior to that, from my loser first husband. Best thing that I ever did for myself, Jarsniplid.
Don't worry, folks. I'm still happily married to my second husband.
Guess what 5:26 your cleverness and lie to the Court means that you are not divorced. Congratulations.
You know why a divorce is so expensive? Because it is worth every penny!
Better 35 years late than never.
Ha, 6:07PM......
I never thought about it that way......
We're all lollering....
What a freaking scandal I have created for myself! WOW!
Love! 5:26PM
6:07 is correct...you aren't divorce as you lied under oath to the Judge.
Would the book allow a waiver of appearance by one of the parties? All showing off could be avoided.
I'd rather be single, happy, and hungry, than married, feed, and furious.
When I packed my X Husbands clothes, I got a book on how to get even. One great thing was the phone call I got when he had red foot prints on his white carpet from the red jellow powder I put in his white socks. After his shower, his feet were a little wet.....
I told him it was his early valentine present.
During the loving years I filled a tub with red jello at the hotel bath. We checked out died red from head to toe. This time it was just his feet.
HaHaHaHa!!!!!!!
Whats the difference, as Mother Madera says: "Lawyers are Liars", ya know LIARYers.
Anyone who spent 35 years doing something and believes it was "35 years wasted" was doing it WRONG. If the guy HONESTLY believed he wasted 35 years he should have thanked the Mrs. for having the kindness to END IT.
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To anonymous 5:26...
There are some tales that should NEVER be told. I would never have told that tale. However, since you have told the tale, CONGRATULATIONS for having had the sense and courage to do what it took to get out of a bad situation so you could move on with your life and a better situation. Clearly, you were divorced long before you appeared before the judge and are wise to not let the answer you gave to the incomplete question asked by the judge. The fact you were pregnant with another man's child should have had no bearing on whether or not the judge granted you a divorce.
I think all the best divorce advice comes from adulterous babykillers.
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