The Cat Tried To Kill Us

Actual Dumb Cat Next To The Christmas Tree

So it was a little after a 11:00 last night and me and the Misses had just laid/lied down (which means I'm ready to go to sleep and she's about to fire up a movie.)  The night gets quickly interrupted as the Dumb Dog goes on red alert and then higher alert in an attempt to tell us that something in the house isn't right. We quickly realize that she is responding to the whine of our Dumb Cat downstairs. And the Dumb Cat's whine quickly becomes a full fledge cry of pain.

Uh, oh.

Mrs. LL jumps up and goes downstairs and yells back that the cat is stuck in the Christmas tree. Funny. Serves her right. Then things changed instantaneously when Mrs. LL yells, "I need you down here." I stumble down to find Mrs. LL holding a cat whose back paw is caught up in death grip fashion in a twisted Christmas light line. The cat is now in full fledged deranged mode like the ones you see on youtube in a newscast-gone-wrong episode. That cat is mad. That cat is scared. That cat is dangerous.

Now remember the misses has carpal tunnel -- not the best injury at that moment -- but she is also wearing wrist braces at the moment which comes in quite helpful. She is being protected from the cat's clawing because of them. Well, at least mostly. There's some scratching going on. I checked out the back paw and that line looks like she had been playing with a fishing line spool. This isn't good.

Then it happened: That cat bit down on a fleshy part of Mrs. LL like nobody's business. I mean hard. I mean "oh, my" hard. The misses somehow maintains her grip as she yells a bit causing the cat to let go. I try to intervene by grabbing the cats front paws and head, but she (amazingly) tells me to let go because the braces will protect her overall.

Say what?

The cat's about to clamp down on something again when Mrs. LL decides to blow on its face. Huh? It seems like Mrs. LL, despite having a wild animal out of control in her hands, has the presence of mind to blow on the cat's face to distract the cat from biting on flesh. It worked.

She then quickly decides that releasing the Christmas light line is the wrong way to go and instead twists the cat's body in a counter-clockwise motion a couple of times to release the tension. It works. The cat is released, and we sit down exhausted. Hadn't I been in bed a second ago?

Oh, have I ever told you that  Mrs. LL is a former paramedic? It showed. I, on the other hand,  was no help at all.

The cat made a full recovery and, yep, was up in the tree the next morning.