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4.11.2007
The Bible Refers To A Telephone?
I was channel surfing Wednesday night and stumbled across "Promiseland." Within three minutes, these goofballs were able to take a bible verse that used the word "call" and interpret it to mean to pick up the telephone and "call."
I just had to upload it.
WWJD?
Edit: I should mention that "call" is apparently pronounced "caaawwwwwl".
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24 comments:
If you want to take the Bible literally I think you'll find that all the apostles WALKED everywhere they went. I don't remember Jesus having a jet to do his business.
That EXACT type of craptacular TWISTED interpretation of the tales in the Big Book of Myths and Fables has been going on for THOUSANDS of years!
To continue the craptastic job of TWISTING started by the "ELDERS" of Promisland; according to the rest of the passage people should ELIMINATE medical science and be healed by the elders of the church. Oh wait! The passage DOES say sick people need to have the elders pray for them so they can be healed.
James 5:14, 15 & 16 - Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
To be TRUTHFUL, the "ELDER's" interpretation that "call" means to "pick up the phone and call" makes as much since as MOST of the nonsense within the Big Book of Myths and Fables.
LOL, 7:37. Those Tilton-types amaze me...especially the one whose wife has the uber-teased pink hair. How they take themselves seriously, I'll never understand...
Was in a discussion over this Misquoted Bible (it's a book) issue yesterday...it's easy to get skeptical when people arrange the verse to fit the "need."
I don't think they said the Bible referred to a telephone, specifically, but instead they just interpreted the word "call" to INCLUDE calling on a telephone nowadays. REGARDLESS, that is one funny clip! LOL
grammar repair kit
since = sense
Okay! Okay! Okay! So I STILL do NOT proof read PRIOR to posting my comment. At this late date, I do NOT hold out much hope that I will START proof reading my comments PRIOR to posting.
MZ, I dig ya "Dawg," but I'm not standing anywhere close to you after reading the "Big Book of Myths and Fables."
I'm afraid of lightning. ;)
These folks are indeed a blackeye on the Christian faith. True biblical elders do not have to try and convince others they are qualified to be elders simply as a result of their years of service.
Elders are called to shepherd the local flock thru servant leadership always acting with great humility. I'm not sure these folks are doing that?
BTW mzchief, it is refreshing that you are at least opening and quoting from the "Big Book of Myths and Fables."
Not me C4U. I would stand right beside her! This whole "Big Books of Myths and Fables" is hilarious and so true! I love it when she posts the facts!
I cannot wait to tell my "Christian" friends that if they claim to be "Christian" and want to follow the BBMF they had better read it first.
I have come to realize that "Christians" are only accepting what they want to from this BBMF. I believe in their la la world they are suppose to follow all of it.
Just wait til the next time one of my "C" friends tries to go to the doctor. I will gladly quote this scripture. ROFLOL
To anonyNOTHING 10:25...
You are VASTLY mistaken if you assume that it is a LACK of knowledge and familiarity that makes it IMPOSSIBLE for me to believe in the Big Book of Myths and Fables.
I have FREQUENTLY read and spent years EXTENSIVELY studying religious texts such as "Torah", "Talmud", "Holy Bible", "Qur'an", "Book of Mormon", "Dianetics", "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures", "Tao Te Ching", "The Analects ", "Avesta", "Vedas", "Pali Tripitaka", "Book of the Dead ", and the accompanying texts of these primary religious texts. I did NOT study these texts for the purpose of finding a religion. I studied them for the purpose of understanding WHY so many MILLIONS of people have felt the NEED to believe them to KNOW GOD.
I read and write Latin which I learned during my MANY years attending Catholic schools and in preparation of my Holy Confirmation. I also read, write and speak Hebrew, which I learned at Hebrew school in preparation of my Bat Mitzvah.
My UNDERSTANDING of religion and the HISTORY and PURPOSE of religion is based upon KNOWLEDGE but NOT belief.
Why is it that whenever you don't have to fart no one walks into your office but when you do somebody does?
12:25...you my friend are a breath of (fresh?)air, pun intended, I'm still rotfl...heehee
It appears that there are many visitors to this blog who agree with Mzchief (on this topic at least). It is amazing what you can learn from actually studying a subject - not just echoing gobbledygook from others. It appears that Mzchief has made BBMF an acknowledged and justified acronym. Onward into a world of discussion based on fact rather than fables.
more Christian bashing!! Good thing you all are NOT Christians, or you would be ashamed of yourselves! How will you ask for forgivness if you do not believe in the Christian teachings?
TO anonyNOTHING 7:12...
WHY would ANYONE who does NOT buy into the Christian version of INSANITY need to concern themselves with asking for forgiveness?
NEWSFLASH!
The MAJORITY of the World's population does NOT give a rat's hind end about YOUR Christian hookus-pookus. If it works for YOU then it is dandy fine for YOU but how dare you ATTEMPT to mandate the rest of the world buy into YOUR favourite brand of lunacy. The fact YOU honestly believe that God is of such limited scope that there is only ONE religion or belief that gets one into "heaven" means YOU truly do not KNOW GOD.
ME and a VAST majority of the REST of the World are giving God the benefit of the doubt and counting on the FACT that God is BIG enough for MORE than one religion/belief.
SHUT UP, MZCHIEF!!!
CHRISTIAN BASHER, MZCHEIF !!
Mzchief, sounds like you might need to go back and read the bible one more time. Also, knowledge is meaningless without truth. The Pharisees had tremendous knowledge but were so blinded by their own knowledge that they missed the Truth. We'll see how far knowledge gets you in the end.
What a matter 7:12? The "Elders" of your church didn't cure your sickness? Poor Baby.
9:44, WHAT? How do you "read" that from 7:12's message?
Sooooooo many clueless people, including you!
9:56 It's definitely over your head. It's called a joke.
Don't you try to twist around those words to mean whatever you want them to..... You'll just get more confused.
10:56, It is YOU who is confused!
oops.. I meant 10:06!
Ah Hah..... I'm the one who confused..... You keep telling yourself that. Pretty soon you'll believe it. ;)
got it the FIRST time!
;-)
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