The Campaign For DA

1.04.2006

Random National Championship Thoughts (As I Watch The Game)

  • UT stops USC on the first three downs and then fumbles the punt. USC scores in a handful of plays. (That may change the tempo of the game for the rest of the way)
  • Cingular is genius for buying that space on the coaches' headsets
  • I'm already tired of seeing Matthew Mcconaughey
  • Texas went for it on 4th and 1 at the 50 yard line with 9 minutes left in the first quarter. They didn't make it. I'm surprised at how fast the USC defense is.
  • I was at the Rose Bowl last year. It is the most beautiful setting I've ever seen for a football stadium (although it is a bear to get into and the parking is a long way away)
  • Play by play man Keith Jackson is great (although I'm sure I saw him retire 5 years ago)
  • At the beginning of the second quarter, USC's Reggie Bush made a huge run and then fumbled it when he tried to lateral it. Bonehead.
  • Vince Young is great. Reggie Bush is great.
  • Midway through the second quarter: UT might win this thing if they would stop fumbling.
  • The commercial with the guy singing the Dukes of Hazzard theme song is funny.
  • At 6:50 left in the second, that was one heck of an interception at the goal line by Texas. (And instant replay is a good thing).
  • I wonder why Mack Brown doesn't play more of freshman RB Jamaal Charles who looked great at the first part of the season?
  • OMG! Texas just stole a TD with 5:00 minutes left in the second quarter when Vince Young pitched the ball after his knee went down. I think I'm sick. But God punished Texas by making them miss the extra point. I think I heard God say "I will strike thee down with great vengeance and furious anger."
  • Triple OMG!!! Texas just went up 16-7 right before halftime. Where are my dress blues and shotgun shells?
  • Maybe God got mad at me for using the acronym "OMG"
  • Dear God, as halftime nears, I promise I will never post another Brokeback Mountain topic on The Blog if you let USC come back and win.
  • I just heard Keith Jackson say "They have two times out remaining"
  • By they way, LeAnn Rimes sang the National Anthem. I thought she was dead. And didn't she used to have jacked up teeth?
  • Dear God, if you let USC win I won't make fun of people like LeAnn Rimes ever again. Promise.
  • Field Goal by USC!!!! Thank you, God. (But, upon reflection, I may have promised to much with that LeAnn Rimes thing).
  • Halftime
  • Ok, USC has scored. They now lead 17-16. I'm putting my shotgun away now.
  • Ok, Texas has scored. They now lead 23-16. I've got a bottle of Paxil in my hands. I'm so tempted.
  • Ok, USC just took the lead. 24-23. God Loves California. God Loves Liberals.
  • Texas just missed a Field Goal at the top of the 4th Quarter. (But the ability of Vince Young to take off an run has me a little nervous).
  • Just saw a commercial for Heather Graham's new series "Emily's Reasons Why Not". Heather is hot. I'm glad that shocked me back into reality so that I could get my priorities in order.
  • Let me say this: As much hype as this game has had, it has lived up to all. And as much hell as the BCS catches, it did its job this year. In the old days, Texas and USC would not be playing right now.
  • I hate Texas, but their uniforms are the coolest in college football.
  • Why do college football games take FOREVER but an NFL game takes three hours?
  • Dear God, if you let USC win I will vote in the Republican Primary. Honest. And I also won't post any more pictures of Lindsey Lohan or college cheerleaders.
  • Uh, God, you understood that I didn't promise not to look at those pictures. I don't think it's a sin, despite what Jimmy Carter said.
  • And one more thing, God, I'm sorry I kept replaying that part of Boogie Nights involving the aforementioned Heather Graham. I'm pretty sure that was a sin.
  • I think my new nickname shall be "LenDale". He is my new hero based upon what I'm seeing right now.
  • Holy Crap!!!! Reggie Bush just scored to put USC up 31-23. Reggie Bush may be the fastest man I've ever seen in the history of ever. (I wonder if God really heard my promises earlier?).
  • Sheesh. 11:10 left in the fourth. Jamaal Charles (didn't I say earlier he should never play?) caught the ball and fumbled. The refs blew the call. Instant replay didn't bail them out.
  • Field Goal by Texas at 8:46. USC 31, Texas 26. Tense. (I think I'm going to go read a passage from II Chronicles during the commercial break).
  • Touchdown USC at 6:42 in the 4th!!!! What a catch. What an effort. What a game. (I tried to read II Chronicles but didn't understand it).
  • I think I'll go to bed now.
  • Just kidding.
  • So here we are. 6:00 left in the 4th. USC ahead 38-26. You know, Texas has been a little tight all night long. I hope they don't decide to loosen up. That's when they are at their best.
  • I wonder if there are any new Internet pics of Lindsay Lohan or Heather Graham I need to see right now?
  • I hope God is big on the "forgiveness" thing.
  • Holy Crap!!! Texas just scored. USC 38, Texas 33. (I would like to point out that my earlier comment that Texas needs to "loosen up" might make me a sports genius).
  • Ok, I'm taking another shot at II Chronicles.
  • I didn't see anything about a "ring" representing "continuous love". I'm watching the game.
  • Holy crap. USC ball. 4th down. 2 yard to go. 2:13 left. On the Texas 45......What will they do?
  • OH NOOOOOOOOOOO! They went for it and didn't get it!
  • Ok, Texas ball. They have their chance. TENSE. So TENSE.
  • OMG (Sorry God). On third down, Texas throws a pass but is short of the first down. BUT a face mask call gives Texas a first down.
  • Crap. Another first down. My cow heart might give out on me.
  • Keith Jackson just said "Times Out" again.
  • 46 Seconds left. Texas is down to the 14. Let me say this: This may be the greatest National Championship game ever. Lord, please don't let Texas win.
  • OMG (God has not been answering my prayers, I might add)!! Texas is down to the 9 yard line.
  • Here we go. Fourth down. 26 seconds left. 5 yards to go from the 9 yard line.
  • OMG
  • No funeral