Greatest Pants In The History Of Pants

I gots to watch me some more Arena Football. (Orlando Predator cheerlesders.)

"Nappy Headed Ho's"

Ok, I'm now on the verge of insanity.

Don Imus (whom I suspect 80% of the very intelligent Blog readers had never heard of) called the women's basketball team at Rutgers (whom I suspect 99% of the very intelligent Blog readers hadn't realized played for the National Championship last week) a bunch of "nappy headed ho's" and all hell breaks lose.

I bristle at racist comments more than anyone I know. (Quick story: About five years ago a buddy of mine pulled out a black tee on the golf course at Runaway Bay and said he, "was gonna use his nigger tee on this hole." I still kick myself for not picking up my clubs and walking to my car in disgust. But that kind of crap happens every day and every hour in Wise County. You know it. If not, go eat by yourself at any local restaurant and keep your ears open. ) But I also know that words are just words. They can't kill. They can't give you cancer. They can't keep you from waking up tomorrow.

Above all, I preach forgiveness. Above all, I preach "you without sin, cast the first stone." Above all, I preach, "give someone a break."

This dog pile of Don Imus, who I never thought was particularly talented, turns my stomach.

I'm Reaching For A Big Bucket Of Paxil

As you probably heard, I'm not the father. I knew I could never trust her.

I Wish I Was 10 Years Old So I Could See It All Happen

Yes, I love technology.

Here's what's happening in my living room right now. I'm watching the Rangers on satellite TV. I have my laptop out with a wireless Internet connection. I learn that the boys at The Ticket (who are all living in one house this week called the Compound) are doing an unusual broadcasting bit: Four of their hosts (for those that understand: Norm, Bob, Craig, and Boyd's own "The Hammer") are sitting around watching the Ranger game and are commenting on it on the radio in real time. I mean they all are mic'd up and just talking about the same game I'm watching. So I listen to them over the Internet. (They call if "Mystery Science Rangers".) They are incredibly relaxed, with sometimes 30 seconds of silence, and it's like they are in my living room. I can't tell you how odd it is.

Then, confusingly, Evan Grant of the Dallas Morning News (pic above) who is at the game in Arlington, calls into the Boys at The Ticket because he has heard what they are doing. So now I'm listening to Evan talk to the Boys at the Ticket over the Internet. Suddenly, and I don't know why, Evan Grant is shown on the television screen by Fox Southwest. The Ticket boys, who see him on television (since we are watching the same channel), tell him to wave. He does. I'm watching Evan Grant waving on my television screen at the prompting of the Boys on The Ticket - who I just heard over the Internet.

So what? We are on the dawn of a whole new Media Age. Television, as we know it, will be gone in 10 years. I don't know how newspapers will survive. Everything we take for granted in media (radio, newspaper, and TV) will change. It'll be a mixture of Internet and Satellite and instant connectivity that we haven't remotely begun to understand. I just wish I was 10 years old so I could watch it happen for as long as I could.

You Think . . .

. . . Don Imus is offensive? This, sir, is offensive.

Email Sent to Courthouse Workers Today

Hello Everyone,

I was just informed by the Extension Office that they have spoken with an Urban Entomologist, DR. Michael Merchant, who states that the courthouse could not be infested on that level with crabs, they do not and can not live in that means. His guess is that the insects found were mites. We are sending him a sample and will have the final answer by tomorrow afternoon.

[- County Judge's representative]

Well, that certainly takes all the fun out of it. But obviously we have the biggest government cover up since JFK. I'm getting Oliver Stone on the horn.

I'm Off To Fort Worth

But in light of the Don Imus "scandal" (sheesh, cut the guy a break), I bring you "White Chicks and Gang Signs." Good times.

Crab Crisis Day 2

(Photo of actual newly disinfected Wise County courthouse toilet.)

If it picks up, I'll keep an updated list of news outlets that have picked up the story.

- Channel 3, Hampton Roads, VA
- Star Telegram
- D Magazine

Edit: The story may not go national after all. The next 24 to 48 hours will tell.

I Don't Know Who This Guy Is . . .

. . . but he allegedly had a bad experience in Decatur (and decided to post it on youtube.com).

Enough Of This Crab Silliness

"Don't Do call it a comeback."

Ohhhh Noooo

Fox 4 News just started and it teased: "A sexually transmitted disease that brought cases to a halt in one north Texas county."

I thought this was going to be a light hearted story.

Now, I'm worried.

Edit: Ok, it wasn't too bad. I'm working on a youtube.com upload. (I think my voice sounded scared to death. Allen Williamson looks like he's been on TV for years.)

Edit: Until youtube.com has processed the file, you hard core Wise County fans can download the wmv file here (about 8 megs).

Edit: YouTube.com is really giving me trouble. But Fox 4 has the video on its website here (pretty quick loading.)

Edit: Finally, YouTube.com clip is here.

A Winter Park Near Wise County?

Remember when Intel bought a huge tract of land near Alliance Airport but then cancelled the plans to build a huge plant?

Well, according to the Dallas Business Journal, it might turn into a crazy indoor winter park just like the one in Dubai called "Ski Dubai" (where the above pic is from. More here.)

Credit.

I Can't Believe What Just Happened

Fox 4 News' Brandon Todd showed up at my office in connection with the "Wise County Crab Crisis of 2007". His camera man took some shots of The Blog (and some of the comments) and then somehow I submitted to a silly interview that I am soooooo going to regret.

Set your TIVO: 9:00 p.m. tonight.

Oh my!

Just got word that the courthouse has been shut down because of crabs. Yep, THOSE kind of crabs. Developing . . .

Edit: Seems like this morning some "itty bitty crab like" bugs were seen on a couple of toilets and then it was discovered that the little critters were seen on a toilet on a different floor. Not being an expert on "crabs", I'm not real sure what they were.

Edit: One commenter had an astute observation: Two weeks ago there was an Easter Party in the courthouse and now we have this scandal? It's like the Battle of Good and Evil is taking place right before our eyes!

Thank You, And Come Again

Decatur McDonalds. Dead of death.

What's America Coming To . . .

. . . when Grindhouse opens up in fourth place? (Although the running time of three hours was enough to make me reconsider.)

Random Movie Quiz I Received

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times. From start to finish? Probably none. Closest would be Pulp Fiction or About Last Night. 2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater. Closer, Snatch, and the original Die Hard. 3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie. Clive Owen. 4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie. Jim Carrey or Robin Williams IF the movie were a comedy. Those boys are not funny. 5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from. Pulp Fiction and Caddyshack (although I rarely use it anymore.) 6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs. I am not gay, sir. 7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with. I'm seriously questioning this quiz. But I do have a new favorite movie musical: Phantom of the Opera. 8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see. Tough one. Probably the documentary One Day In September about the Munich Olympiad tragedy in 1971. 9. Name a movie that you own. Memento, True Romance and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. 10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops. Mark Wahlberg. 11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what? Oh, yeah. Superman and The Exorcist. (At the old Decatur drive in - across the street from where Lowe's is now.) 12. Ever made out in a movie? Hey, I'm a playa from waaay back. 13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to it. Stranger Than Fiction 14. Ever walked out of a movie? Dune. In Waco in the 1980s. 15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater. I don't cry. Just get a little "misty." And that happens way too often. Shopgirl was the last time. 16. Popcorn? Never. 17. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)? I think I average about one movie for every two months. 18. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater? 300. 19. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie? Something dark and quirky and that doesn't necessarily have a happy ending. 20. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater? Call me incredibly old, but I saw one of the Planet of the Apes movies in the theater in downtown Bridgeport. That's my first memory. 21. What movie do you wish you had never seen? Death to Smoochy or Million Dollar Baby. 22. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed? Bully, Mysterious Skin, and Feed. 23. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen? Blair Witch Project - I hate the sound of unknown origin and that is what this movie was all about. 24. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen? Raising Arizona (except the last 20 minutes.)

Easter Brunch

Instead of my typical Sunday lunch of take-out from Sonic, I got to go to the Easter Buffet at the Gaylord Texan. Top notch. I think I ate some stuff I had never had before, but I did get to have Chilean Sea Bass for the second time in my life.