blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

7.09.2008

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts


- I always look in rear view mirror when I'm coming to a stop. I just expect the guy behind me not to be paying attention - although there is probably little I could do about an impending collision.
- I hate small talk with the hair cutter. She started asking about my life yesterday and, for some crazy reason, I just started making stuff up.
- From a news video yesterday, I noticed that Obama wears a tank top like undershirt (which also means that his the fabric of his white dress shirt is too thin). I always wear a regular T-shirt and really don't see the point of the tank top type.
- And who is this "Barnett" of the Barnett Shale?
- There will be, certainly, a bust to this natural gas boom. It has to happen. So when will the crash occur? I'll bet on 2012. Maybe March 12th. At 10:33. That's A.M.
- Fox 4 News has it in for Dallas DA Craig Watkins. And that guy is due for a fall.
- The judge throwing out the blood test results in Dalworthington Gardens doesn't have any impact locally (nurses, not cops, withdraw the blood around here.) But I feel sorry for the defendant in that case. Up until yesterday she was just one of a thousand DWI cases in Tarrant County. But last night she had her her mugshot plastered all over the news.
- If I had a parrot, I wonder if I'd be tempted to put it on my shoulder and pretend to be a pirate?
- I once busted my head wide open as a kid after falling off a diving board at a hotel in Miami and then hitting the concrete side. My mom tells me she looked up and said, "Look at all that blood. It looks like a shark attack. Uh, where's Barry?" True story. I've still got a scar on the back of my head.
- I was also knocked unconsciousness about two years later when I ran into a brick wall at my next door neighbor's house while going for a basketball rebound. My brother, he says, picked me up and stood me on my feet - only to have me fall over backwards hitting my head on the pavement again. I woke up four hours later on my couch after the doctor had made a house call. (Which tells you how long ago it was.) We didn't do an MRI or CAT scan because no one had ever heard of them back then in little Bridgeport, Texas.
- I had two other head injuries that required medical attention but I won't bore you with the details.
- I wonder if all those head injuries explain anything? I'm pretty sure I said something about a pirate a second ago.
- If I were young inner city black man who happened to be in a gang, I think I'd want to be in charge of the logistics of the drug selling in the projects. Wouldn't want to be involved in it, be the enforcer, or the money guy. I just want to design how it all went down. (Yep, I'm still watching The Wire.)
- Everyone asks me why I don't sell advertising space. Answer: I don't know. But I should set up a pay plan where you guys could see all the wild arse comments I receive that I don't allow to go through. It's like Taxi Cab Confessions. Only different.
- When I was a kid (man, lots of flashbacks today), my dad would occasionally proclaim, "The king is dead! Long live the king!" For years, I was ashamed to admit to him that I had no idea what he was talking about. But as I was mowing the lawn last weekend and listening to Coldplay's new "hit single", I heard these lyrics: "Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!" I smiled to myself at that moment on my lawn.
- Ranger Ian Kinsler has a 20 game hitting streak. To be in your early 20s and a major league success would be sweet.
- My favorite moment of the day is crawling into bed. That seems wrong.
- The Cowboys are offering, through Oct. 1, a chance for fans to buy an inscribed paver brick that will be installed on the Legacy Walk surrounding the stadium's exterior. The paver bricks come in three different options, costing $150, $300 or $375. I'm thinking "Ralph Hardy. Newark, Texas".
- I saw that story on the DMN's Cowboys blog. I loved this first comment: "$150, $300 or $375 for a brick? Of what, hash?"

54 comments:

Anonymous said...

Repeated blows to the head....um, yeah, it all makes sense now.

Double Fake Gumby (Python, Monty Ltd.)

Anonymous said...

It's always so nice to come to work in the mornings and be able to read your blog first thing. This mornings postings are GOLD ! I sat across from my co-worker to hear her laughing, and she said "you have to read Barry's blog." Good Times indeed !

Anonymous said...

Once,my mother said,"---- take Booger Bear to Dr. Curly's(sp?) office so he can put her to sleep. She's getting old and in too bad of shape. I called, they are expecting you"
The office was packed. Everone from the receptionist to the techs. knew that dog and why we were there. They told me it would be a little while. I went and had a Grilled Chicken Taco salad at K-Bobs. Awesome- if you had someone on the inside to take care of you as I did.
When I got back to the office I told the girl who I was and that,"I'm here to pick up my moms dog,Booger." Her sunny smile changed to a knowing,sympathetic one.
The vet that came out with a real tall female tech. was holding a small box both were looking somber. The vet handed me the box. I held it for a second,shook it gently from side to side and in a practiced quizzical tone said,"What's this?" The vet. said,"It's just standard procedure after we put an animal to sleep-you can use the box to bury her in." I said," Put her to sleep? You were supposed to update her vaccinations!"
The vets mouth fell open as she saw her years at A&M evaporating into nothingness in the wake of a lawsuit for killing a 19 year old blind dog instead of giving it its heartworm medicine.
Quickly,I said,"I'm just kidding!" and started laughing. The tech. who stood easily a head taller than me without hesitation punched me in the stomach and started reaming me out verbally. Or at least I think she did- I got as far as ,"You ass!" Before my brain shut down due to lack of oxygen as my spasming diaphragm tried hard to recover from the punch. The little lady vet gave me a look that would have made me feel terrible if I wasn't already afraid I was about to die and turned and stormed away without saying a word.
I meant to send them a pizza or something,although I don't remember if If I did. I hope so.
The End

Anonymous said...

If the favorite part of your day is crawling into bed,maybe you are satisfied with how well you used your time during the day?

Anonymous said...

8:23 AM--that type of practical joke exceeds the borders--no wonder you got punched! Still, it's kinda humorous in a macabre sort of way. If you had a younger dog at home, I guess you could have said, "the king is dead, long live the king"!

Anonymous said...

OK Barmiester you've told us what type of under shirt you like what it is for under drawers:

a) boxers
b) briefs
c) boxer/briefs

I for one couldn't do boxers, something kept escaping

Anonymous said...

You are right 8:41 I have a long history of being a line crosser-if nothing else. I had it coming. She should have probably given me a right hook to the ear while I was double over.
We both would have felt better about the deal.
Long Live Booger!

Anonymous said...

The wire is/was great , but the final episode was lame. Six feet under was the greatest final episode ever...ever!

mamaofaboynagirl said...

Is anyone else thinking this girl all dressed up in her costume should focus more on cleaning her house instead?

Anonymous said...

8:57- No.

Anonymous said...

BG..there is a new lawyer show on FX channel called DAMAGES, it's awesome!! it's got everything..BIG MONEY, HOT CHIX, SEX&DRUGS, R&R, MURDER...lot of big time real-life lawyer stuff..fx is the same channel that nip-tuck and the shield are on, so it's very edgey, like us!!!btw watch for 2'nd season this fall you'll luv it....

Anonymous said...

i met her just the other day, right after getting my haircut..in fact we're going to pk lake this weekend, where i hope to have some great stories to tell next week...i have a good feeling about her..

Anonymous said...

This blog has really helped me in a lot of ways.

First thing in the morning,I like to sit on the throne and unclog with the blog. It just sets the pace for the rest of the day.

Thanks Barry

The Tidy Bowl Man

Anonymous said...

BG..i forgot the best part on DAMAGES, LAWYER SUICIDE!! no kiddin, the lawyer felt so bad about screwing his client(ted danson bad rich guy)over, that he kills himself right in front of one of the top lawyers in the country (glen close)..this part made for her..that's how season 1 ended!!!

TXsharon said...

Just a very few of the dozens of pictures I've taken showing the horrific pollution cause by Barnett Shale drilling in Wise County.

If domestic drilling is keeping us safer by making us energy independent, why are exports soaring?

Anonymous said...

I was getting my hair cut in Bport once. Close to the end there was an audible crunch followed by pain that coincided exactly where my ear and the girls scissors were. I said,"Ow,did you just cut my ear? She said,"No,I,oh,uh- it just pinched it" She then finished up and rushed me out.
I turned my head at one point in my truck and felt something cold and sticky on my neck. I looked up in the mirror and it looked like OJ had just caught me with his ex wife. Blood was everywhere.It had run down far enough onto my shirt I could see it by looking down-no mirror needed.
I always thought that was more strange than something to get mad about I guess.
Did she think I wouldn't notice?
The End

Anonymous said...

i would certainly pay to read the wild arsed comments that were too ??? for posting,,hell i probably wrote a few of them mf's myself..HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!!

Anonymous said...

i sure luvz me sum good funnie storez!!

Anonymous said...

All those head injuries when younger sure explain you being a lawyer now BG.

txsharon, while I agree with you regarding the present polution situation, we both know two other things also. One, that we definitely need the energy for our country, state, and our local economy right now badly and number two, that the O&G industry is quite capable of drilling and operating without causing that type of polution, but our law makers and the RRC must force them to do it in a safe manner. We and O&G can actually and in reality, have it both ways, with the right kind of enforced oversight and regs that are sorely lacking now.

Anonymous said...

i could start fillin in the blanks about my good ex-buddy's ex, and my ex, and me..remember that was just the 1'st time, and this really is a TRUE story.....????DBL FAKE PPV-BLOGGERDUDE...

Anonymous said...

If you had a parrot, would you teach it naughty words?

Anonymous said...

I like to go back to old posts and insert comments no one will ever read.

Anonymous said...

Favorite part of day is crawling in bed .... would make sense if you were joining someone there?? But then again, I sense that you do have a great imagination:)

Anonymous said...

BREAKIN NEWS...K-BOBS REOPENING!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wikipedia --

>>> The formation is named after John W. Barnett who settled in San Saba County during the late 19th century where he named a local stream the Barnett Stream. During the early 20th century during a geological mapping exercise geologists noted a thick black organic-rich shale in an outcrop close to the stream. The shale was consequently named the Barnett Shale.

Anonymous said...

txsharon,
These pics look bad, but those are pics of sights that are not finished. They are not through with the cleanup process.

Anonymous said...

man i just got arrested and beaten up by deecatur po po, and all i did wus take them some nice homemade cookies!! i don't understand why they started hitting and kicking the livin shit out of me when i walked in and said "here's some cookies, they'll make you feel better"...WTF relee goinon???

Anonymous said...

8:51 Can I have your digits?

Anonymous said...

I always wished I had glasses where you could look at a girl and you could see the nasty little things she's done in her past.

That'd be pretty cool.

bigfan said...

I got knocked out at a baseball game when i was a kid. We just finished taking in-field before the game, and we were huddled around our dugout. The other team took the field, and the shortstop over threw first base. last i heard was look out! I woke up in an ambulance on my way to Hughley in the Crowley area. The ball hit me behind my ear.

Anonymous said...

Maybe BG has one of those really expensive Tempurpedic or Sleep Number beds, therefore it would make sense that would be the best part of the day. I don't, so I get to wake up every morning with my neck & back hurting.

Anonymous said...

Hey 10:23 what's the scoop on K Bobs ?

Anonymous said...

check out wise messupper classified...employment,..food service...

Anonymous said...

Wow, you were doing so good, too. You haven't made stuff up in days!

TXsharon said...

10:27, How many years will it take them to clean up? Sure, they will scrape around on the surface then cover up all the chemical spills with gravel. But, they won't clean up that sludge pond. I'm telling you, I have dozens of pictures like these and some are of sites that have been there MANY years.

They don't have to clean up because we don't make them.

Anonymous said...

If I had a parrot.....I would walk around with him on my shoulder. Then I would be known as "The man with the parrot" in Decatur. Add a wooden leg and an eye patch....the chicks would dig that!!!!!

Anonymous said...

kbobs is going to take over the bucks bbq building. i have no idea when they open though.

Anonymous said...

WOW BG...looks like some of your are looking for jobs...i wonder if they are republickins..DBL FAKE TURDBURD

Anonymous said...

Well that ain't gonna work cuz I was going to open a gynecology office with a drive through window in that building.

Anonymous said...

12:44 - Peter Sellers already did that - I think it was "Return of the Pink Panther". This chick would dig it, but you have to teach "Polly" some bad language for laughs! I once saw a talking bird in Montreal, but it spoke French, so I wasn't sure what it was saying. Sounded cool though.

Anonymous said...

I am betting 5 years from today the current gas wells all over the county shutting down to about 1 day a month. They will open them up one day a month so they don't have to clean them up.

Anonymous said...

TxSheehan, Why don't you move to ANWAR where it is illegal to drill for oil? You may not be able to buy gasoline there for your snowmobile or for your car to commute to your job in Anchorage and I know you won't enjoy the mosquitoes in the summer but you will be able to live in serenity.

Pood'in Pie said...

I garuntee if txsharon was getting a big fat monthly check from an oil lease she'd shut her mouth!

Anonymous said...

3:47 Maybe. But then she would be yammerin about something else. About 10 years ago she got a burr under her saddle about one of the county schools and let herself get used by people with an axe to grind (but didn't want to do their own grinding), moved away and caused a ruckus that caused some problems in that location, and wound up back here.

Anonymous said...

She needs to move to San Fransicko. She would fit right in with all the wackos.

Anonymous said...

I do the same thing at stops. One time I don't know how I processed it that quickly but a motorcycle was coming in way too fast. I cleared my left and right and punched my truck forward. The kid managed to stop some how and then pulled up along side of me and said,"Thanks! I don't know how you did that!" He revved his throttle a couple of times, did a burnout and took off.
I'm sure he's dead by now but,at least it wasn't me he plowed into.

Anonymous said...

At what is now the skate park on Miller Street in Decatur the baseball field had an announcers box at one time. The term must be loosely applied however as it required whoever was going to use it to climb a vertical ladder and when you got to the top there was only two metal tractor seats welded to the floor and a metal desk.

It was also our fort. 2-3 guys would get on the field and pick up dirt clods that were thrown up against the fence from the field. Two guys would climb that structure with clods in our folded up T shirts. And the war would start.

Once I was up in the fort taunting our attackers. I dropped down behind the desk and jumped up in time to see a large brown object coming straight at my face that seemed to be growing as the milliseconds passed. There was a wooshing sound then a loud,sickening POP and my lips and nose exploded in an impressive spray of blood. I still recall the look of horror on Raymonds face at the point of impact and in the same instant he started running toward the stand to help.

I started staggering backward and continued to do so until the back of my knees hit the rear railing and then I fell over backwards falling 10? feet to the ground.

There were two black kids and a white kid there who ate his boogers and the scabs he picked off his arms constantly. They took off running with hardly a glance. I couldn't tell you those guys names to save my soul but,oddly we did hang around them fairly often. I don't even know how we would end up together-they just appear in my flashbacks.

A postman who I think may have thought Raymond and the remaing boys had attacked me, came over to help.

The next thing I remember is my mom fussing at me and me more or less coming to while pushing her hand away from my face. There was no doctor-we were too poor. Just a fact. I would have had to be much closer to death than I probably felt at the time to warrant a doctors visit.

Sitting here I can still taste the saltiness of the blood I vomited. It's also easy enough to imagine how the room spun for hours. I slept for the most part of two days. I hallucinated about angels,my dead granny taking care of me and SGT Rock coming in to check on me.

We did go back to playing war at the ballfield. Raymond got hit square in the throat by a clod once while on tower duty. Seeing him gasping for breath while clutching his throat is the first time I remember being genuinely terrified and also thinking someone was dying in front of me.

I don't remember going back after that but,I don't know why it would have stopped us.
The End

RPM said...

TxSharon, I'm so impressed by your antipetroleum stance. I'm sure you back it up by riding a horse drawn carrage. I mean it would be hypocritical to drive a polution belching petroleum burning vehicle, right?

Anonymous said...

"a white kid there who ate his boogers and the scabs he picked off his arms constantly"...

...You are spot on, but I'm female, and I still do that stuff to this day. It's my way of self-immunizing myself from all the weirdness that you idiots have no awareness of.

I love the sweet, saltiness of boogers in the morning. Sometimes, if they are too big, from breathing the Wise County O&G stench all night, I do spit them out. That's getting to be commonplace these days.

Scabs? They are always totally delicious, unless I am too impatient, and make myself bleed. I don't like the taste of blood, so when they are like that, I spit them out too.

Sad days.....big boogers and bloody scabs.

Anonymous said...

txsharon is the canary in the coal mine. Don't you ba$tards come crying to us when your water is fouled.....

rpm.....I used to like you, but you're apparently just like the rest of the Wiseguys. I am so disappointed. Go join slopjarlid and wordbile at the room that is always rented for those of your ilk at that fancy motel on 287 in Decatur. Eat the chocolates that are laid out on your pillows, and then shoot yourselves with one of jar's guns........or else redeem yourself post haste.

Anonymous said...

The oil production people will tell you their activities don't impact local water wells.

A drilling rig was erected about 500 yards behind my house.
Some time after drilling started my 3 year old well started losing pressure.

The water smelled.

You could literally feel sand on your body when showering.

A 700.00 washing machine clogged with sand rendering it non repairable

The dishwasher often requires two cycles to get dishes clean

The four neighbors whose properties touch mine that I'm friends with had similar problems starting within days of each other. One had to replace a 2 year old dishwasher. When speaking about the subject we identified 3 other homes with similar problems on the block.

It's been a costly lesson but,I'd believe just about anything environmentalist types would say about drilling impacts.

Anonymous said...

Water Foul
An aquifer is at risk – along with property values, livestock, and dreams – after gas wells move in.

Ad homineum attacks on the messenger does not mean the message is false.

Anonymous said...

8:02 lucky you, there just happens to be attorneys in decatur that have made quite a name and big $$$ representing property owners whose water was fouled/contaminated by oil co's...ask around, you won't have trouble finding out which lawyers..

Anonymous said...

I wonder what her underarms smell like.