3.29.2007

Crazy Things Your Mother Told You

The Ticket had a very funny segment this morning on the above topic. Things that hit home with me: - "Don't come into an air conditioned house while sweaty, you'll catch pnemonia." - "Don't play with fire or you'll wet the bed." - "Don't sit too close to the TV or you'll ruin your eyes." - "Wait an hour after you eat before getting in the swimming pool." - "Don't touch a baby bird or its mother will reject it." - "Don't touch a frog or you'll get warts." - The most dangerous people in the world are "hippies" or "Moonies" There are a couple I forgot, but let me know if you've got some better ones.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Wear clean underwear in case you get in a car accident and need to go to the hospital."

Anonymous said...

"Don't play with your you know what or you'll go blind."

Anonymous said...

Close the door. You weren't raised in a barn.

Don't bite your finger nails. It will give you worms.

Anonymous said...

Mom used to tell me all the time to not drive naked and now look at all the trouble I'm in.

Anonymous said...

"Moonies"? Are they still around? I thought they died with Disco.

betty boop said...

If you swallow the watermelon seeds, watermelons will grow out your ears!

Don't step on a crack, it will break your mother's back...

Anonymous said...

Don't tickle your brother, it will make him stutter.

Anonymous said...

If your ever go see singer/songwriter Larry Joe Taylor perform and he sings, "The Old Screen Door", you will hear him mention most of these as things his mom said.

Don't you kids go running through this house like a bunch of wild Indians. I'm tared of it, sick and tared of it. (Emphasis on the tared)

Are you mocking me!

If you fall out of that tree and break your leg, don't come running
to me.

I guess if those neighbor kids went and jumped off a cliff, you'd be right behind them.

Why can't you have nice friends.

Don't go running around with that stick or you'll poke your eye out.

Wait till your daddy gets home!

Larry Joe's big Texas music festival takes place in three weeks at Melody Mt. Ranch north of Stephenville, and he along with a lot of other great Texas singer/songwriters and around 20,000 followers of Texas Music will be there doing their thing for five days starting on April 17th.

Anonymous said...

Mom always said "Don't get your self in a situauation where you need a court appointed attorney to get you out of it"!

Anonymous said...

"Get me a beer, boy. And don't forget to make sure the refrigerator door is closed good."

Ahh....the good ol' days.

Anonymous said...

Ahh, the good times...
My mom told me to never mess around with a married woman.
That's some good advice, don't you think?

mzchief said...

To anonyNOTHING 1:06...
How does YOUR wife feel about that wee pearl of wisdom from YOUR mum?
*;)

Anonymous said...

"Always keep a pack of gum handy, you never know when you may need it to escape a felony conviction."

kicker04 said...

"never point your finger at the moon, or she'll cut down your finger."

Anonymous said...

Treat People the way you would like to be Treated.

Anonymous said...

"Crazy Things My Dad Told Me"

When every my Dad was leaving the house he would tell me That he was going to see a man about a Dog. I was always upset when he came home with out the new puppy.
I was Grown before I realized -Dad was going to see his girlfriend.(who most likely what some people would calla female dog)

Anonymous said...

Look a me when I'm talking (scolding) to you

Anonymous said...

mzchief,I thought married ppl quit fooling around with their spouse the night after their wedding. Besides I thought the married woman had the implied "to another man" ring to it, didn't you Barry?

Anonymous said...

I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it.

Anonymous said...

This spanking is going to hurt me more than it hurts you!

Your free to move out if you don't like my rules. You can take with you- what you came into this world with.

Anonymous said...

"Just 'cuse everyone else is doing something doesn't make it right. Would you jump off a cliff just because everyone else did?"

Anonymous said...

don't screw around with whores or attorneys.