Oh, My

There appeared to be a couple of vehicles not playing nice with each other on 287 when they clipped each other causing both to wreck. (Around 407, southbound). No serious injuries. And three miles to the north on 287 traffic was down to one lane while every cop in the southwest proper was involved in (reportedly) the arrest of individual(s) involved in robbery and/or homicide in Wichita Falls and Sanger earlier today. (Thanks, Trina.)

Seen In Bridgeport

They've become speed obsessed. Thanks, emailer.

74,283

That's the number of people sent to prison (and that does not include local county jails for misdemeanor offenses) in Texas in FY 2008. Yep, that's in one single year. And 35% of those were for drug offenses. Incredible. Full pdf report.

Who Is The Hot Girl . . .

. . . in the Owner's Suite with W last night at the Ballpark? Edit: Man, you people are brutal.

Why I Wouldn't Want To Be In Congress

How would you like to have most of your Saturday dedicated to a speaking engagement at an Alvord Ranch about a subject like that? And I wonder how many people will show up. (Editor's note: I want to go on record as being offended by the word "retarding" - we're better than that. ) This reminded me of a very bizarre experience in the mid-1990s when Senator Phil Gramm made an appearance in Wise County to speak about some new federal sexual registration program. It was to be at the Sheriff's office conference room but for one reason or another it wasn't highly advertised. (I showed up because I was DA at the time, and it seemed like something I should do.) I bet there weren't more than ten people in the audience. I remember thinking, "This is going to be the Phil Gramm, right?" So her comes Gramm, a freakin' United States Senator, walking into the room and looking around like there has to be some mistake. He speaks for maybe ten minutes. Fielded one question. And then made a beeline for the door looking at his aide like, "I came all the way out here for this?"

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Have we seen this girl before? I can't remember.
• It's surprising the protests are still going on in Iran. I thought they would have been squashed by now.
• Fox News is all anti-Obama all the time. And Steve Doocey on the horrible Fox and Friends this morning says, "Remember here at Fox we still do journalism - unlike the other guys."
• The pilot of a Continental flight into Newark (not ours, the one in NJ) died mid-flight yesterday but it landed safely by the co-pilots. It was the lead story on World News Tonight but hardly got mentioned in the local newscasts.
• And I saw one passenger interviewed who somehow managed to work in, "I was in first class." Thank you, sir. I wanted to know that.
• I don't think there's a single sit-com I've followed on TV since Seinfeld.
• On Sunday, I normally choose one thing to eat for dinner all week long. This week it was grilled chicken. The week before it was sandwiches. Why? 80% of my food would go to waste if I didn't continue to eat it every night.
• North Korea threatening to launch a missile towards Hawaii on the 4th of July? They couldn't launch a missile that would reach across town.
• Uh oh: Kaufman County DA gets arrested for DWI. Shocker: He was convicted of DWI in the 1990s. How'd he get elected in the first place?
• And you know it's a bad sign when the county web site misspells his name. (It's "Harrison").
• Coaches are like politicians except they have a scoreboard.
• I think we are all turning on Tony Romo. (And I was just watching an episode of last year's Hard Knocks where he said something to the effect of, "We could fast forward to the playoffs, or even further, but I want to enjoy the journey of the season." As if the playoffs were a foregone conclusion.)
• The 15 Most Disturbing Movies Ever Made. And I've got a buddy at the courthouse who will be putting every one he hasn't seen on his Netflix queue today. (Link requires some discretion.) And #9 is disturbing and great.
• I had the craziest dream that I was trying to sneak out of a developed cove on an unknown lake on my old boat. As I was packing, an acquaintance whirled me around and stuck a gun in my chest. He then told me he was just kidding. I then woke up.
• Maybe I should keep away from disturbing movies.
• I get this weird pleasure in watching traffic jams in Dallas on TV in the morning.

My Third Wife Is Not Happy

"Was it too much to ask for you to take me to Taco Bell once a month?"

(From a huge compilation of book-in photos from the City of Denton Jail from the guy who normally posts them individually but took a break for a while.)

When Did This Title Thing Become So Important?

And while we're at it, I demand to be called Comrade Green from now on. (Thanks to all those pointing this video out to me.)

Don't Call Her Liz

A Fort Worth hearing calls me away from the office. In the meantime, enjoy this.

Welcome To "Speed Trap, USA"

From the Update.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• I get confused by housing news because of all the variables: New/Existing/New Construction/Local/Nationwide/Monthly/Quarterly.
• Had a couple of cavities filled yesterday but, once the novocaine (?) wore off, I was in excruciating pain for two hours. I mean, it was a I-can't-do-anything-but-try-to-stay-still-and-I-may-die kind of pain. Then it simply went away.
• I thought about Tom Hanks' character in Cast Away where he knocks a bad tooth out with an ice skate blade in order to stop the pain. I finally understood.
• Whenever I'm sick or suffer an injury, I realize it is my health that I value above everything else.
• I keep hearing the phrase "tipping point."
• Three black bear cubs are orphaned in Wyoming and end up in Boyd?
• Crazy thought: If I could suddenly be 18 years old, speak English first but be fluent in Spanish, look like Antonio Banderas, and know what I know now, I'd be President before I was 40.
• I splurged and ordered the new iPhone 3G S. It should arrive tomorrow.
• This dress is showing up on a variety of celebrity babes. I support this.
• If I could time travel, it would be simple to accumulate money by sports gambling and stock trading since I would know what was going to happen.
• Scanned the channels last night and found the NCAA National Women's Rugby Championship on EPSNU. I didn't even know the sport existed. Tough women. Crazy, tough women.
• I love maps. Especially looking at them after going somewhere I was unfamiliar with.
• I continue to shake my head about how the cartoon character that is Mark Levin has a book that remains at the top of best seller list.
• I have this weird feeling I'm going to win the lotto some day. But that's hard to do since I play it about two times a year.
• Cheaters is full of bad acting. And I went to law school with the executive producer who acted like he was starring in his own movie every time I saw him. Funny, but obnoxious.
• If it wasn't for football season, I think I'd be perfectly happy without TV as long as I had high speed Internet. I could watch whatever I wanted on Hulu.com and have my movie urge satisfied easily thought Netflix.
• Update from yesterday's Random Thoughts about how motorcycle deaths had suddenly stopped: There was a motorcycle death yesterday afternoon. (I saw the link but can't find it now.)
• Update #2 from yesterday's Random Thoughts: Now they are looking for a second body in Lake Lewisville.
• I pointed out the crazy fact that Wise County has the State's youngest mayor (Chic0) and probably the oldest council person (Newark) about two weeks ago. This week the Messenger makes it their front page story.
• Sixty year old Billy Joel and his 27 year old wife are getting divorced. That's understandable. She's just not the vibrant 22 year old she was when they married. Poor guy.

Don't Laugh At This

I'm not a big fan of the run of the mill video of a guy biting the dust, but I'm making an exception on this one. The reasons:

• The weight to bike ratio seemed out of whack from the start
• As soon as the kid hits the ramp, he knows he is in trouble because you hear this quiet, "waaaaaa."
• Then there's an award winning cry of agony once Bubba hits the ground.
• And the camera man, cool as a cucumber, caps it off with an understated, "That hurt."

A Friend . . .

. . .swears these pics were taken in Jacksboro on Friday night. Edit: After a posted that, a faithful reader sent this one in from the same night:

This Pic Is Everywhere Today. Still Funny.

"But I grew it myself and watered it with my own tears! "

Reporter Beat Down

The good stuff of the clip is only 50 seconds long. I don't know why people go crazy when they see a TV camera go on, but it sure is entertaining.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• When the lead story on most newscasts is that Dallas is the #2 city for road rage, you know it's a slow news day.
• I saw Dave Campbell's Texas Football magazine in the grocery store yesterday. That always makes me excited although I never buy a copy.
• The buzz yesterday was "Joe Buck Live" which debuted on HBO on Sunday night with one of the guests being Artie Lange (who I had never heard of but has some connection with Howard Stern.) Lange dropped such shocking stuff that I can't even come close to repeating it here. On a replay last night, even HBO bleeped him out.
• And I presume that was all planned to generate publicity -- it worked.
• My home Internet is still up. It such a miracle that I expect to see the Virgin Mary burned into my screen any second.
• Megan Fox looks like a miserable woman. But a hot miserable woman.
• Overheard two guys, who really don't even like each other, start talking about ammunition the other day. They both tried to one up each other with their knowledge (i.e. caliber, jackets, hollow point, and a bunch of crap I didn't understand) like it was some crazy Man Contest. I sat back and pretended I was watching Mutual Of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.
• Worst job in the world: Being a diver looking for the body of the baby who might be in Lake Lewisville.
• It's about time for the local newscasts to provide us with the critical warning of "Drink lots of water" if we plan to be outside for an extended period of time.
• I agree with the observation that Obama is taking on a whole lot of issues all at once, but someone observed that the best opportunity for a president to get the results he wants is in his first year in office.
• All of a sudden motorcycle deaths in DFW have stopped.
• I glanced up at the TV last night to see the Evil Empire trailing in the College World Series 6-0. I smugly went back to working on quantum physics or whatever I was doing. Checked the score this morning, UT won 10-6. Ugh.
• Hot UT fan from last night
• I've got to go to the dentist this afternoon but I've developed one of those cracks on the side of my lips which hurts when I open my mouth too wide.
• Limited interest: If you know who Todd Marinovich is and have time to read a long article about his crazy, wheels off life, check out Esquire's, Todd Marinovich: The Man Who Never Was. Great title.

Another Reason To Love The Internets

Rate a book-in photo of a girl and see a new one. (Thanks emailer.)

I Told You We Had Enough Laws

Using the name or persona of another person on a social networking site, without the person’s consent, would be a third-degree felony under a bill awaiting Gov. Rick Perry’s signature. H.B. 2003, authored by state Rep. Brian McCall, R-Plano, also would make it a Class A misdemeanor to use another person’s identifying information to send an e-mail, text message or similar communication without the person’s consent and with the intent of harming the person. (Source) Silly. Incredibly silly. Is there any wonder why the U.S. has so many people in prison or on probation or parole? And I'm really regretting sending Jarhead's wife that text that read, "I'm on a boat with the au pair and a goat, and we might not be coming back. - Love, Jarhead." And my high priced criminal defense legal advice is to just add "Double Fake" to whomever you wish to impersonate. Crisis averted. Thank you. I accept donations by Paypal.