blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: Michael Jackson Funeral

7.07.2009

Michael Jackson Funeral

Just when I thought it would be a circus, Mariah Carey comes out and sings, "I'll Be There." Even made a cynical old man like me stop down.

68 comments:

Liptak said...

Just me or has M.C. thickened up a bit since getting married? Is she pregnant already? And I think Seal is like: "Thats why I got me a white girl!"

Anonymous said...

Let's all just start bashing people for looking normal again, ok? Sounds like most of the people who respond on this blog are skinny anorexics or something. I would love to see some of you in person; bet the majority are middle-aged, paunchy and soft and just sitting back criticizing and failing to look in the mirror. I get sooooo tired of the emphasis on weight! No wonder our kids are starving themselves.

Daniel said...

So the "Memorial Concert for Michael Jackson to support NAMBLA and and the L.A. and San Bernandino County Hospital Psyc Wards" that is sure to come next month, can we not care about this guy anymore?

Anonymous said...

Are you suggesting that the MJ funeral will not be a circus? Please.

....and yes, Mariah is charged double when she goes to the tanning bed.

Has Seal surgically fixed his Pock Marks yet?

What would you do if right in the middle of a song, fireworks went off and Mj came moonwalking across the stage?
That would be great. The greatest "Punked" ever.

Silicone Alley said...

She does look like she chunked up. And she butchered that song.

Anonymous said...

amazing memorial in honor of the greatest.performer.ever.

Anonymous said...

That colored guy better watch out....he gets too close he may lose a finger.

Anonymous said...

Partial lyrics to "Gonna Be Startin Somthin":

You're a vegetable, you're a vegetable
Still they hate you, you're a vegetable
You're just a buffet, you're a vegetable
They eat off of you, you're a vegetable......

Michael Jackson--

Anonymous said...

Watching the memorial - oh my - very touching - Jermaine Jackson just sang what was said to be Michael's favorite song, "Just Smile." The old heart-strings are really being tugged.

I'm not an Al Sharpton fan by any means, but his speech was very good in a revival sort of way.

I know, I know, there are a lot of jaded people on this blog - you have to be able to release that at least momentarily to appreciate and enjoy this memorial.

Jarhead said...

Sheila Jackson Lee? Really?

Really, Sheila?

Anonymous said...

1:12, why do married women weigh more than single women? Does it have something to do with service after the sale? I married after dating the same beautiful woman for 2 years. Within six months her ass was totally different. We divorced and she lost the added weight but gained it back almost immediately after her second marriage.

Anonymous said...

I love it when the media panders to the lowest common denominator and the liberal weenies eat it up. Keep glorifying that little pedophile freak. We know who your heroes are. The conservative heroes are in the flag drapped coffins that get no media coverage.

Anonymous said...

There is a direct relationship between marriage and butt size.

Coincidentally, laziness and butt size are also related.

My research shows that married women are 3.5 times lazier than single ladies.

Anonymous said...

2:23 - read 1:12's post again.

Not everybody is obsessed with weight and any woman who has had a baby is changed forever - and consider genetics - what the heck do YOU look like? You probably needed divorcing. Maybe you are ugly.

Anonymous said...

Well said, 2:27.

Anonymous said...

"No wonder our kids are starving themselves."
Really?!!? 1:12
All indications are that there is an epidemic of kids that don't get enough physical exercise. And don't get me started on the adults. Have you been out and looked around lately? Skinny, anorexic, and starving are not words I would use. We are becoming the fattest nation in the history of...ever, probably

Anonymous said...

His little daughter's short speech was heartbreaking.

Anonymous said...

Sili, I don't think I'd be calling people chunked up if I were you.

Just say'n

Anonymous said...

2:49, I weigh 175 pounds and am 6' 1". I weighed 168 pounds when I graduated from high school 25 years ago. As soon as it cools down a little this evening I am mowing my two acre yard with a walk behind mower. That takes about two hours of walking.

It all has to do with lifestyle. Sit on your sofa all evening with a remote and you will get an ugly, cellulite pitted ass.

The relationship between babies and fat women can be explained by studying Darwin. Until women have produced children they strive to mate and do what is necessary to attract a man. Once they have passed on their genes they lose the drive. Many newly married women go ahead and gain weight prior to reproducing because they think they have their hooks attached.

Men on the other hand strive to mate with as many women as possible. Hence the football player getting his ass shot the other day.

Try to locate a copy of the documentary "Brain Sex" and you might understand what I am saying.

Anonymous said...

I have an alternate theory on the post-marital weight gain by women: really big girl = husband no good in the sack and/or a jerk.

Anonymous said...

Will the people in this country ever stop supporting these freaks? You can say he wasn't convicted all you want but deep down, you know the truth. The adulation of these so called stars is sickening. It is no wonder this country is going to hell in a hand basket.

Anonymous said...

Yall people are so ruthless...THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR WORLD...Not Michael Jackson's, Not Fat People, but judgmental jerks as you who slam people who you don't even know...just by the cover...Shameful and Pathetic!!! I don't know too many men who stay slim and trim throughout marriage...THEY are the lazy ones!!

wordkyle said...

Okay, one never-to-be-repeated soft moment: When Michael Jackson died, I initially had the cynical "ho-hum, another celebrity death" response. For a few hours, however, I compulsively watched Michael Jackson videos from when he was a kid, part of the Jackson 5. That night it hit me what I was doing, and I commented to my wife, "I'll be damned. I'm mourning." Until he became an extraterrestrial, MJ's musical presence was an appreciated thread that ran through my life (we were almost exactly the same age.) His death breaks that thread forever. All of the hullabaloo doesn't matter to me, but there's a manifest sense of loss.

Anonymous said...

wow, paris jackson's short but sweet speech made a grown man tear-up.

wow

Anonymous said...

Quick, all you weenies! Switch over to CNN. They are showing what Michelle Obammy is wearing in Moscow.

Anonymous said...

2:23
She probably got terribly depressed and started eating to compensate for making the miserable choice of marrying you. Then she married again and realized that she has TERRIBLE judgment in picking men.

Anonymous said...

3:19
Awww-you just keep telling yourself how wonderful you are. I bet your momma agrees with you. And you just keep on with the attitude that men will mate with as many women as they can. You'll wind up with some real winners that way.

Anonymous said...

Pregnancy changes a woman's body. It's never the same, even if she gets all the baby-weight off after birth. Either quit complaining or refrain from getting your wife pregnant. Jerks.

Anonymous said...

The more tv coverage I see of the Michael Jackson fiasco the more infuriated I become... I am the mother of two sons who are currently serving in the US Marine Corp. Recently we have learned of casualties suffered in Afghanistan. These casualties have been in just recent days...including those days since the passing of MJ. I ask this...have any of you shed one tear for these brave men and women or said one prayer for them or their families...

Anonymous said...

Yes, 5:04, I have shed a tear for those fallen Marines and said a prayer for their families......just as I did for the Jacksons.

Wordkyle, I am polar opposite you in my philosophy, but appreciate your remarks re Jackson.

Can you think of a single genius that wasn't flawed? Not that that excuses anything, but I just wonder if it (being a genius) can be handled.

Anonymous said...

Why are there more fat women at the Walmart in Decatur than there are fat women at the Walmart in Roanoak? Why are fewer fat people in wheel chairs at the Roanoak location? I have long found it interesting observing the contents of grocery carts of fat people.

Anonymous said...

No I haven't, 5:04PM. Are you happy now?

Anonymous said...

Thank you 5:19 the tear and prayer are appreciated...

Anonymous said...

Yes, 5:19, it's something to think about. I heard one of the guys who was close to MJ and he said something to effect that MJ was crazy-gifted, but those that are crazy-gifted sometimes have some other craziness that goes with the talent.

The tribute was very touching, and like wordkyle, it took me down memory lane.

Anonymous said...

5:34
Why are there more fat men at the Decatur Wal Mart?

Anonymous said...

Men who "strive to mate with as many women as possible" tend to wind up with EXACTLY the kind of woman (women) they deserve.

Anonymous said...

No 5:37, people like you DO NOT make me happy!!! And why in God's name would it evem come close to making me happy??

Anonymous said...

6:45, There are. Look in their grocery carts!!

Anonymous said...

I can tell you why women become "fatter" after marriage. If you men had any idea how women have to deal with "hitters" constantly! Even after marriage ( they don't care if you have a ring, they just care if you look good) they come sniffin' around looking for bootie. Women who GAIN weight after marriage do so because they are actually HAPPY and don't wish to deal with the jerks who constantly hit on them. Men do the same, they become "paunch bellied" and settled if they are happy in their marriage. So when you folks see an "overweight" couple, you are actually looking at two folks who love one another enough to let themselves "go" and just become settled into a life of bliss. Any of you happy married folk out there know what I'm talking about? Speak up!

Propagandist said...

Folks get fat because they eat too much garbage and sit on their asses. Kids, women and men aren't fat because they're happy they're fat because they're lazy. You fatties making excuses can make all the excuses you want and you'll keep getting fatter until you stop making excuses and stop stuffing your mouths and get off your asses.

wordkyle said...

Line-drawing is an interesting art. Obese, overweight, fat (as well as thin, skinny, underweight and scrawny) -- terms thrown around in judgment but the definitions of which vary from one person to the next. Propagandist, do you realize that to anyone who weighs an ounce less than you, you're the fattie?

Anonymous said...

There's something I don't understand about people like you. Why are you so jealous? Maybe, instead of your poor me attitude you should create a huge memorial just like MJ's for all the military personnel that have died in service. Oh wait, isn't there a holiday or something that is just for the military?

Propagandist said...

wordkyle - Just because someone makes the observation that another person is fat doesn't mean they're making a judgment about the person, it means they're just stating a fact. You can nitpick all you want about the parameters that constitute someone being a fatty but the truth remains the same. Folks are fat because they eat too much and don't exercise enough. Most folks don't consider people who weigh an ounce more than them to be a "fattie." There's a well established medical definition for the term obese listed at MedicineNet.com

Obesity has been more precisely defined by the National Institutes of Health (the NIH) as a BMI of 30 and above. (A BMI of 30 is about 30 pounds overweight.) The BMI (body mass index), a key index for relating body weight to height, is a person's weight in kilograms (kg) divided by their height in meters (m)squared. Since the BMI describes the body weight relative to height, it correlates strongly (in adults) with the total body fat content. Some very muscular people may have a high BMI without undue health risks.

Like I said before if folks keep making excuses about being fat they'll end up staying fat.

Anonymous said...

I found the MJ tribute INTERESTING, but certainly not sad. Just don't get the whole country mourning a singer, whoever he may be. I think that shows how very low we have sunk, to idolize someone just for talent. And no, the songs and the daughter didn't make me "tear up" either....happens everyday in every place. People die, kids cry, life goes on. As for the fat remarks, 2:55. You are correct about obesity, but you might also want to know that when my daughter went to college a few years ago, the NUMBER ONE malady affecting college students today is ANOREXIA. Young people DO starve themselves, become bulemic, etc. merely to meet some ideal presented by the media and society. There is nothing wrong with the Marilyn Monroe curvacious figure, but today, everyone is supposed to be alike and "ideal body weight". The pendulum will swing the other way eventually, thank God.

Anonymous said...

Wordkyle, to me fat or skinny is not a comparison to myself but a comparison to the Metropolitian tables used by the medical profession. Fat is a result of technology elimianating the need to use muscles for daily activities. It is the result of machines that allow for harvesting food and providing shelter without muscle exertion. Many years ago my family did not have air conditioning and the house was unbearable at 5 pm when we came out of working in the fields. Everyone sat around outside, talked, and watched the children run and play kick-the-can and hide-and-seek. The adults had their exercise in the field earlier in the day. When the house cooled down around 10 p.m. we went inside and went to bed in preparation of a long day of working and sweating in the fields. Once technology eliminated the need to sweat to provide food and shelter we all should have invested in the exercise industry (gyms, Firehouse, Fit and Wise) that have sprung up to replace hunting and gathering activities that exercised our bodies. God help our kids who have replaced running and exercising with video games and computors. They don't seem to know how to use their vocal chords that have been replaced with text messaging.

Sorry about you fat women, men in past generations were not attracted to them. I still don't look at their butts when they walk down the isles in front of me at Walmart with their grocery carts full of cookies and soft drinks.

wordkyle said...

Propagandist - Your comments were judgmental. If you're going to post things like that, at least have the courage to own up to the attitude you assume. (And there is some dispute as to the validty of your precious BMI.) Plus, you seem a little offended at the suggestion that someone else might consider you fat. Ironic, isn't it?

Anon 908 - It's admirable that you've memorized the Met tables and apply them to other people. Especially with some of the concerns about using them to establish an ideal weight. (And 16th Century artist Peter Paul Rubens apparently disagreed with your position on the attractiveness of "fat" women. As do many men today.)

Lest anyone is confused, I am not pro-obesity. All the health concerns, etc., associated with it appear valid. I'm also well aware of the downside of technological advances to our society. What is fascinating to me is the hostility some people feel, and feel free to express, toward obese people. They seem to be one of the few groups (Christians is another) that it's socially acceptable to say whatever you want about (while assuming an air of moral superiority.)

My earlier point was that this hostility is triggered merely by looking at someone. (That "fat" person - he used to weigh 50 pounds more, but now eats right and exercises and is healthier than most of us. He still has 50 pounds to go to reach his "ideal" weight. But just from his looks, you'd make a lot of assumptions about him, his lifestyle and his character.)

Despite my defense of fat/obese/overweight people above, my position is that everyone should eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, try not to worry so much, and abstain from the vices.

Anonymous said...

Well said, WK.

Propagandist said...

wordkyle - Making an observation about a fat person being fat isn't making a judgment about the person or being hostile. It's nothing more than making an honest assessment of an obvious fact. Repeating the medically know fact that obesity is caused by people eating more calories than they burn isn't being judgmental, it's being truthful. Obesity is one of the health risks people have control over and fat people just elect not to do what it takes to not be fat. Your supposition of, "do you realize that to anyone who weighs an ounce less than you, you're the fattie?" was preposterous and me pointing it out doesn't mean I'm "a little offended at the suggestion that someone else might consider you fat." What's ironic, is that you think you know so much about me and haven't been right, yet.

Instead of getting your scrotum in a twist over me pointing out that fat people need to eat less and get off their asses, sounds like you'd do good to follow my advice, which is the same advice given by doctors all over the world.

Thanks for your input, put down the cheetos, back away from your computer and go outside for a walk. I'm going to golf and walk 18 so I don't get fat.

AMF

Anonymous said...

Propagandist: what a holier-than-thou prick you must be!

Anonymous said...

Propagandist, great postings. The truth pisses them off, including wordkyle. Cigarettes cause cancer, excess food causes fat, causes heart desease, causes death. It is all ugly. So, what is wrong with biology class today wordkyle? Get up out of your chair and mow your yard and sweat.

wordkyle said...

Propagandist - First of all, smoking crack keeps me at my ideal weight. Second, you remind me of Napoleon Dynamite, who would slap people and then run away. From now on, whenever I see your name under comments, I will picture Napoleon Dynamite.

1133 - Please. "Biology class?" I was discussing sociology, not nutrition.

Anonymous said...

8:41 I am not jealous nor do I have any reason to be jealous. People such as yourself just make me sad... I do not wish to further discuss anything with the likes of you...end of conversation..

Anonymous said...

Wordkyle, you apparently believe that the readers here are stupid. Your post is full of biology. Medicine and ideal weights are biology. Food and nutrition are biology. Human tissue (fat cells) is biology.

Jarhead said...

SpongeBob Squarepants is holier-than-thou.

Get it?

Anonymous said...

Okay...I have to respond. Especially to 2:27. Are you not aware that MJ was aquitted. Thus, he wasn't guilty of the false charges. He was kind hearted and that got him into trouble. And are you aware of the MILLIONS and MILLIONS of dollars that he has raised for charities and for the underprivileged? What exactly have you personally done to better mankind 2:27...or any of you people sitting in your recliners with your budweisers? It just bothers me that people look at non-existent things as the gospel and ignore the factual information. He and Elizabeth Taylor have also worked together and raised millions for AIDS research as well. I would suggest you read and be more aware of what you say so you won't appear so, as Judge Judy says...so stupid. Have a great day and my advice is free.

Anonymous said...

Are you not aware, 2:14, that an acquittal doesn't mean a crime wasn't committed? If so, you live in a dream world. Likewise, a conviction doesn't mean it the person was guilty either. The legal system is NOT infallible...only as good as the people participating in it and the money spent to circumvent it. Thanks for your free advice, but it sucks.

Anonymous said...

2:14 Ut Ohh....you called in the cows. Dummy alert at 2:38

Anonymous said...

Your post makes no sense, 3:25.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Prop, the reason women get fat after getting married is that they are way too busy taking care of their man and kids to have time to do anything like actual exercise. Especially those that work outside of the home too. Try leaving the house at 7am, working all day for someone else, getting home after 5pm, going to the grocery store (that's Wal Mart for most of us) after work twice a week, getting supper done, making sure the homework is done, cleaning house, doing laundry, and getting the kids to bed, every day, and finding time to exercise too. Not gonna happen, at least for most women. Especially when hubby wants a bit of his own special time, in bed, too. We're just too darn exhausted to even think about actual exercise to lose or maintain weight.

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU 4:40 for your honesty - many on this board (including the board author) have just a bit of an idea of what you speak - he will in a few years since he is half a century in age (or near it)........

....and as for the overweight women (and some men)..... who are continually bashed here, can we discuss genetics, and if a woman, being pregnant several times, or a harried mother, eating on the run while taking care of everybody else in the house, going to a job with just a grab bite of something left on somebody's plate....the list goes on, or maybe a person who is so obsessed with weight that they put exercise ahead of family, friends, job, everything else....the list goes on.......

And what of our skinny friends? Some of them are as screwed up as our overweight ones? They may be thin, but emotional wrecks in other ways.

Going to the gym, riding a bike, running and/or swimming every day is good, but does little for the stresses of life.

Only God can supply our deepest needs.

Propagandist said...

11:20 - What about my factual comments makes me a "holier-than-thou prick"?

Propagandist said...

wordkyle - Somehow, I never thought me being courteous and informing you that I was getting on with my day of enjoying golf and lunch with my spouse and friends, who're all a part of my real life, would be considered acting like Napoleon Dynamite. Unlike you, I have things to do other than waste my day at the computer.

Since you were so judgmental of my comments and my method of communicating, I had no idea you were so sensitive. If you felt that I slapped you please understand that wasn't my intent. I tend to be more the ass kicking type rather than slapping type of person.

wordkyle said...

Napoleon -- I won't even say "nice try." Other readers, such as 11:20, understood my meaning. And now they understand you, too. You can bet my previous link to Napoleon Dynamite got quite a few hits.

Anonymous said...

propagandist & wordkyle= your posts are often long & boring as opposed to just boring. i must have a.d.d. i'm just sayin....

Anonymous said...

Hey 4:40, just went trough the check out at Walmart. There was a fat couple in front of me. In their cart were Chitos, Chocolate candy, frozen vegetables with butter sauce, two twelve packs of soft drinks, etc. A little more science here than your excuse from yesterday.

wordkyle said...

710 - I guess you could always just skip over posts that have my name above them. Hope this one is short enough and interesting enough for you.

Anonymous said...

4:40, You found some time during your oh so busy day to sit on your fat ass in front of the computer to leave a long winded comment on Barry's blog. Stop eating your heaping plate of prepackaged fatty food and give up the nasty habit of eating the leftovers off your kid's plates and start putting healthy food in smaller portions on those plates and you wont have to worry about extra exercise if you really do all the things you say you do.

Jarhead said...

I love Chee-tos.