8.23.2011

"Most Eligible: Dallas"

You won't hate them because they're beautiful, you'll just hate them.

I'm not saying you should watch this show, but you've got to watch this show on the Bravo Channel.  These are real Dallas hipsters that (1) are either acting like [expletive deleted] or (2) are actually [expletive deleted]. It's almost impossible to explain.

However, a pretty funny review (almost a running description) is here.

But I would be remiss if I didn't point out that the guy in the blue shirt is for University of Texas quarterback Matt Nordgren. (He was the guy who sat on the sideline while Major Applewhite brought the UT program from the dead and then watched Chris Simms try to kill it again. For you stat guys, he completed 8 passes in four years.)

The woman in the long red dress, Tara Harper, is somehow in the Dallas 10 Most Beautiful Women competition over at D Magazine.

A Dallas restaurant's sentiment of the characters is expressed below:


14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Get me the name of their personal trainer!

Anonymous said...

Matt Nordgren had a more stellar career with the Longhorns than Quinthy Carter had with the Cowboys.

Anonymous said...

Matt Nordgren was and IS a total toolsack......

Francine Fishpaw said...

The one in the unfortunate white dress may be the biggest B*tch on the planet. She can't figure out why she isn't married....stupid, not hot, and hateful are just not attractive.

Triple Fake... said...

Eligible - as in unattached?
I'm not qualified to throw stones - heck, I'm as eligible as they get, but I'm not whoring myself out on TV just for my fifteen minutes. Where to start:
1) If you call yourself a hipster, or if others refer to you as a hipster, you aint that hip!
2) If you are willing to act like an [expletive deleted] on TV and pass it off as your reality, or you are an actual [expletive deleted] and don't mind proving it to a national TV audience, well...
3) the two blondes(?) aren't bad, but what is up with that weird-looking thing in the middle? She's got a five-head and that femullet just makes it worse. Plus, those crazy eyes! Yikes! That dress is low-cut for a reason

My rule of thumb is: don't watch people I've never heard of (I'm looking in your direction, Matt Nordgren!) do stuff on TV that isn't any more interesting than watching professional actors ply their craft

At some point (soon) we need to rise up with our virtual torches and pitchforks, and drive the Fame-enstein Monster from our village. Otherwise, it will consume us all and enslave our children.
Idiocracy, I tells ya!

Anonymous said...

If I had a restaurant I would second that emotion! Awesome

Anonymous said...

I just read at The Observer that Jody Dean appeared on the show dating the Tara chick.

Kill. Me. Now.

Anonymous said...

If I wanted to waste my life watching a bunch of tools on tv I'd watch Jersey Shore.

Anonymous said...

I try not to be judgmental, but I cannot pass up this shot:

(working left to right for the ladies)
1. I think she sheds her skin like a snake.
2. Doing your eyebrows like Ming the Merciless is not a good look.
3. Take away the shoes, necklace, teeth, and hair & she might weigh 20 lbs with what's left.

My Other Brother Darryl

Anonymous said...

That girl in the white dress has the posture of someone passing gas

Anonymous said...

To follow up on My Other Brother Darrell.....take away two silicone implants to subtract another five pounds from her.

Anonymous said...

Skanks, ...and the girls too.

Anonymous said...

I think you meant "Most Worthless:Dallas"

Anonymous said...

Like the sign. I agree. Can't believe people actually watch those reality shows.