Sure, some people cried this week when Brett Favvvvarrrrraaaaa retired from the Packers, but I wept over the retirement of long time figure skater Katerina Witt. Sure she sinned a little bit when she got neekid for Playboy in the 1990s but I'm willing to forgive her for that - after hours of examining the photos, I have now classified them as "art."
(And see the connection? It's icy outside. Katerina skated on ice. That, my friends, is good journalism on my part. You won't see stuff like this in the Update.)