I Need A Vacation After Vacation

• Can a man walk 100 yards in Jamaica without being offered weed? Sheesh. I would go on a rant that they need to make it illegal there but it is illegal.
• After Mrs. LL and I tried to relax on the beach, and after being interrupted every five minutes with people trying to sell us crap, she fired off a very loud, "Are you selling some peace and quiet? Because I'D BUY SOME OF THAT!!!"
• I immediately renewed my two week old vows to her on the spot.
• And I go away for one week and some guy does a swan dive off the second tier of The Ballpark? Could he have at least waited a few days so I could be all over it? (Video as it happened from broadcasts but I don't anyone has a clip of the actual fall. Which might not be a bad thing.)
• And when I left Texas was looking as brown at the desert. When I come back it looks like the Garden of Eden. Did it rain here or sumptin'?
• I learned Mrs. LL can dive. (I mean, absolutely no splash whatsoever.) And I learned she'll jump off of a 40 foot cliff. (See above picture -- the cove to the right -- that's where it happened. Some place called Rick's Cafe.)
• Girl ain't right.
• I like all-inclusive resorts but they might want to trick up their food every now and then.
• I went deep sea fishing for four hours and despite have eight hooks in the water, we got nothing. But I did see dolphins and one whale, so not a bad bit.
• Funniest unsolicited line from a guy on the fishing cruise: "I spent six years as a Dive Master in the Florida Keys. You think it'd be great? I'll tell you: I was sick of the weather. I was sick of the job. I was sick of my wife. I had to get the heck out of there."
• I spend a ton of the time at the pool on vacation. And I always bring along a college football preview edition and read almost all of it.
• Traveling out of the country is a beating. If I told you how many times at the airport I had some security person look at my passport, then at me, and then at the passport, you'd be amazed. And I'm pretty sure the 9/11 terrorists used their real identities, didn't they?
• My favorite line to drop when I'm getting beat down waiting in a security line is, "Thanks, a lot Bin Laden."
• I stubbed my toe on the concrete while walking in sandals and almost bled to death. (Slight exaggeration, but not by much. )
• More later. Still recovering.