blank'/> Liberally Lean From The Land Of Dairy Queen: Random Thoughts Live From A Seminar

12.12.2008

Random Thoughts Live From A Seminar

  • The current speaker is a judge on the Fort Worth court of appeals. She has "shake voice."
  • The guy that welcomed me to the seminar greeted me like we were best friends. And then he fired off a, "What's that name again?"
  • Someone told me they like the way I use commas even if grammatically inaccurate. (Not seminar related.)
  • I'm at the Marriott across from the Texas Motor Speedway.
  • There is less traffic at 8:00 than there is at 6:30
  • I can't post a picture of a hot girl because everyone can see my screen. They would think there is something wrong with me.
  • When I turned on the TV this morning, an episode of The Andy Griffith Show was on. Gomer, and I'm not making this up, was protesting with a sign that read, "Down With The Gold Standard." Gave me political confused head.
  • The current speaker keeps saying "metha-amphetamine" instead of "methamphetmine". Drives me crazy. At least she is not saying methamphetamines.
  • There was a quiz before the first speaker about eight Supreme Court cases she was about to discuss. Afterwards she asked how many people correctly answered the quiz. No one raised their hand. I think that was more of a sign of, "If I raise my hand I'm going to appear arrogant." Finally, LeAnn Breading of Denton claimed she answered 7 of 8.
  • There's some lady up at the front table that is smoking hawt.
  • There is a guy speaking on jury selection right now who is very entertaining. But I remember him four years ago, at a different seminar, suddenly say, "Can I stop for a second? For all of you that work too hard and spend too much time at the office, think twice about it. Your family can fall apart on you when your not looking." As he teared up, he said, "I know."
  • Changing gears: I'm thinking about Jennifer Aniston on the cover of GQ this month.
  • I just thought about a DWI case I lost as a prosecutor when I was first starting out. A juror came up to me afterwards and asked, "How much did you believe in your case?" One of the best lessons I ever learned.
  • Getting commets that a good looking Paradise girl works here. I refuse to go look for her . . . uh . . . be back in a sec after I stroll around the property to stretch my legs.
  • Third speaker just says: "Every time a client sits down across from me, I expect a not guilty verdict." Time waste. Sometimes it's about making sure a guilty client doesn't get hurt in the system more than they should. He has 30 minutes to speak --- I don't believe another word he says.
  • The guy behind me just answered a question. I can't tell you how high pitched his voice was. It was like a cartoon character.
  • The fourth speaker just suggested what color of tie to wear for the second day of trial. I'm paying money for this?
  • More coming . . .

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Someone told me they like the way I use commas even if grammatically inaccurate."
Huh?
Was there any mention of the way you abuse your colon?

"I can't post a picture of a hot girl because everyone can see my screen. They would think there is something wrong with me."
And your point is...?

"What's that name again?"
(in best Sean Connery voice)Green...Barron Green.
chocolate milk, shaken - not stirred

happy weekend
Triple Fake Plenty O'Toole

Anonymous said...

Meth seminar? @ the Marriot?

Anonymous said...

Greg Norman designed the golf course there. And for a long time very few people would play it a second time because it was "challenging". And they actually had to rework it to make it easier so golfers wouldn' be so challenged while playing a game that is supposed to be challenging. Maybe they should have opted for a putt putt with all the holes at the bottom of a bowl.

Anonymous said...

You can only be hard on the metha amphetamine speaker if you say FEB RU ARY and not FEB YOU ARY and if say RASP BERRIES and not RAZZ BERRIES.

Anonymous said...

You need to sneak a picture of the smoking hawt lady in the front for us!! You could always post it in a different area of your blog!

Anonymous said...

If there was an announcement during the seminar that taxpayers will be providing $30 billion to keep GM, Ford and Chrysler alive, would attendees want to leave and go buy a new car? No, nothing would change except a few extra billion goes down the drain. Now, if there was an announcement that taxpayers would be getting a $20,000 federal income tax credit in 2009 if they bought a new vehicle today, ya think a few folks would say "meeting adjourned"? Of course. If resigned to a bail out, you would think Washington would at least be able to figure out that CUSTOMERS are what GM, etc. need. A quadrillion dollar bailout given directly to GM is not going to help the guys in this picture go buy a new vehicle.

Anonymous said...

when you say "shake voice" should I think Katherine Hepburn? if not, please explain.

Anonymous said...

9:38 AM - you are absolutely right! I am in the market for a car right now. Not one American car on the short list. I would definitely by American if I had some incentive.

A tax credit would provide business to the local dealership and the financial institution giving the loan. Ford/GM/Chrysler benefits from the increased cash needed to pay the debt they created by their executives running the companies into the ground.

Why hasn't anyone thought of this. I guess it's easier to the politicians to write a check than to actually think of a solution.

Anonymous said...

Eat lunch at the Pro Shop...me loves me some of those Girls there...

WC4L said...

Sneak a pic of hawt lady and email to twitter. No one will notice.


Quadruple Fake : # 1 Wise County Meth Lab

Anonymous said...

Barry can we please get a pciture of that GQ cover your talking about
please please please

Anonymous said...

Man if you wanted a hot chick for your blog there is a smoking hawt girl that works there from Paradise and she is beautiful! You should find her on the course and sneak a picture of her for me!She goes by Jules. My dad is in love with her mother. The apple doesnt fall from the tree. I would like to be an the apple ate by her.

Anonymous said...

Man take us a pic from your camera phone of the girl from Paradise on your next break. She is "smokin" hot! I would bet someone there knows her.

Anonymous said...

I know that girl and her mother and you are sooooo right man,the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. Her mom looked like that when she was in highschool. They say to check out the mother before marrying the daughter. I would take either one. Mom is still as hawt as ever. They are both single to! I might have to be lookin up a buddy to get a number.

Anonymous said...

what paradise girl are you talking about and where are you

Anonymous said...

BARRRY I want you to search JCPENNEY GETS IN THE DOGHOUSE
its a funny little commercial aimed towards men who buy women STUPID gifts its sure to put a smile on everyones face!!!

Anonymous said...

Their in paradise hotel on paradise island there is no such thing as hawt in paradise tx.

Anonymous said...

The girl from Paradise is Juliane and I am sitting in the Library. What does it matter?

Anonymous said...

In 9 days it will be exactly 4 years until December 21 2012 after which there will be no more seminars.

Anonymous said...

Paradise, Texas has lots of "Hot" girls! Where have you been? I dont live there, but I do go to church on the hill of the pecan orchard there and that girl you are talking about use to work at Cafe Paradise & so did her mom. You couldnt ask for better service especially when they would wait on you or smile at you! I would melt and I am on old man! I quit eating in there when they moved.

Anonymous said...

Pay attention Bubear. There is a quiz at the end of the seminar. You have to pass or they won't let you leave.

Double Fake Hot Babe at the Front Table, who happens to be reading your blog.

Anonymous said...

You guys are awful! This mother & daughter are beautiful on the inside and out. The mother(Shelly) would be with both of her kids at Cafe' Paradise when she wasnt working in another state on a Catastrophe. I have to say one thing and that is if her daughter was Barry's beverage girl he would have a 1000 photos posted by now. Its their personality and not just their looks that make you love them. My husband is mesmerized by their eyes. Barry I hope your fortunate to meet her if she is there; however, she is probably taking finals today at TCC.

Anonymous said...

Cafe' Paradise has use to have really hot girls!

Anonymous said...

9:38, you make the best point.

The problem with the US auto makers is that my generation of 20-somethings white collar professionals are buying either a Toyota, Lexus, Audi, Volvo, and/or Infiniti. None, not one, of my friends has even test drove a US auto when they are in the market for one.

How can the US auto makers get my generation to at least consider their products in the future?

Anonymous said...

If only Denny Crane was there shooting everyone with his paint gun pistol and groping the speaker. And yes, we must not forget Alan Shore protesting the incorrect pronunciation of a drug that is all to familiar in this great county of Wise! He would also be stating jury selection is nothing more than a crap shoot. Despite all the money and research poured into predicting and shaping jury decisions, to a large degree the state of the art remains just that: art.Jury selection conjures the hand-picking of a perfect panel, but in reality it's a matter of deselection, and that my friend wins cases whether it is within the hands of justice or in the hands of the jury. Its all a crap shoot!

Anonymous said...

Me loves me some golf at Doral too, I know what Jules looks like and I know a guy that works there that told me how hot the mom is. Bad, Bad thoughts! I think I need to go golfing today! What about GM?

Anonymous said...

Newt Gingrich was on CSPAN this morning and tossed around an idea that some guy in Washington had - about letting each American family NOT be assessed taxes from their payroll checks for a few months, thereby giving the folks more money to spend - thus helping the American economy.

Sounds good to me - at least we could SEE that reflected in our income and not worry about those idiots in Washington handing our tax dollars to everybody.

I don't particularly like Newt but the guy is really smart.

Anonymous said...

See if you can get a picture of the smoking hawt lady (cougar) up at the front table.

Anonymous said...

Someone told me they like the way I use commas

*But everybody hates the way you use the "air quote" (trying to raise commas to a new level)
*Oh! The things you can do with an exclamation point! Amazing!
*Did they comment on your use of question marks??? Did they? Huh?
*End of comments. Period.

-rimshot-

Anonymous said...

Good Writing Rule #21.
Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Kingfish said...

Did you ask her if she knew where the weight room was? Chicks dig that.