11.26.2008

Got Some Serious News Here

Having spent part of last week in New Jersey, I feel like I am expertly qualified to comment on this news story brought to you by the family values people over at Fox News. This sweet lady has a part time job in an elementary school in NJ as a cafeteria worker and playground monitor. Heck, she is making under $6,000 a year which means she is doing some of this work out of the goodness of her heart which . . . uh . . . has to be in there somewhere. But now a "problem" has developed when school officials were tipped off that she is former porn star (and I love this name), Crystal Gunns. Who could have possibly thought that when she walked into the interview room that something was amiss? I wonder if the guy who did the hiring was a man? Kind makes our little "indoor practice field" controversy a little small in comparison.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

from Wiki
Measurements: 46GGG-26-34
Height: 5 ft 4 in (1.63 m)
Weight: 121 lb (55 kg)
Triple G!? Man, that's overkill

For such a small stature, that gal has got some really big...hands. You know what they say about women with big hands...uh, wait...never mind.
Regardless of her intent at the present, she is gonna get bounced out of that school, literally

Triple Fake Larry Flynt

Anonymous said...

them's real!!

double fake wal-mart patron, wise county

Anonymous said...

I went to Whataburger last nite (Drunk) and I swear I saw her working the drive through. She gave me an extra biscuits and gravy, I swear! Yummm....

Anonymous said...

i like that last name.


double fake T. Bishop

Anonymous said...

This lady might have a career as a Secretary in somebody's law office.

Double Fake Smith and Green Personnel Manager

Anonymous said...

NJ isn't the only place to hire a teacher who appeared without her clothes in film.

Just sayin.

Anonymous said...

This publicity could help balloon a movie career that had no doubt literally began to flop.

Single Fake Roger Ebert

Buckwheat said...

I remember as a kid those big ol cafeteria worker's bras. However, I don't remember any of the cafeteria workers looking like her.

Anonymous said...

With this comment, we just posted for the cycle

Homer

Anonymous said...

What's the world coming to when a nice sweet little gal like that can't even find work in a school cafeteria, even though she has not been convicted of a crime, probably not even been arrested for anything? I'm assuming they did a background check, of course.
(BTW, that photo of her on Wikipedia looks really slutty)

Sloppy Joe-slop-sloppy Joe, yeah!
Quadruple Fake Adam Sandler

BobfromBugscuffle (yes, it's a real place) said...

Those could be indoor practice facilities.

I wonder if she listed her former jobs on her employment application. If she didn't and depending on what is asked on the application, they might have a legal reason they need to discipline her (spanking maybe?) if not fire her.

Double-triple-fake-triple-double

Anonymous said...

The ladies money quote- "If this is about morality, our president-elect has admitted to doing crack, and he's our president. Does that make him a bad person?" Tuck said, referring to one of Barack Obama's books, in which he admits trying cocaine. "Bill Clinton smoked pot. Does that make him a bad person?"

Anonymous said...

I have last November's Issuce of Score with that layout of her in it. It's the winter Sweater Shredder issue. You canalso find her is the Private Stuffers DVD series.

Anonymous said...

With her guns up, she's obviously a Tech grad.

Double Fake Mike Leach

Anonymous said...

Way too much - that woman will soon fall on her face carrying that mess around.

Anonymous said...

I can smell the silicone from here.

Lady Lumps said...

They are fake (not that I'd complain). There is a video where she details why she had them enlarged, she used to be a B cup. She also still did porn as recent as June. Her website is still up, but now it just has a login for paying members.

Now, that being said it doesn't matter. If she is a good employee, her personal life shouldn't factor into her job. Even if she still actively does porn. Just because a bunch of uptight housewives are jealous because she is there isn't grounds for firing her. Lose 100 pounds you fat sows, and your whole outlook will change. Your man might even be attracted to you again.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Amonett never looked like that in my cafeteria line!!!

Anonymous said...

"Would you like fries with that?" is a phrase that has never made it past her boobies.

Double Fake Burger King

Anonymous said...

grody commody

Anonymous said...

That chick is HARSH looking without some airbrush 'magic'

Anonymous said...

She's hard lookin that's for sure. She's six years younger than my ex old lady and looks fifteen years older.
A first: a porn star who couldn't even play second fiddle to the ex, my-my, whats this world comin' to?

LandShark 5150 said...

She could get more life out of that bra following Obama's rule for proper inflation.