Crazy Things Your Mother Told You

The Ticket had a very funny segment this morning on the above topic. Things that hit home with me: - "Don't come into an air conditioned house while sweaty, you'll catch pnemonia." - "Don't play with fire or you'll wet the bed." - "Don't sit too close to the TV or you'll ruin your eyes." - "Wait an hour after you eat before getting in the swimming pool." - "Don't touch a baby bird or its mother will reject it." - "Don't touch a frog or you'll get warts." - The most dangerous people in the world are "hippies" or "Moonies" There are a couple I forgot, but let me know if you've got some better ones.

Just Saw A Silly Segment On The Today Show . . .

. . . warning parents to be on the lookout for their kids playing "The Choking Game" in order to get high.

I've got another warning for those parents: You've got a stupid kid.

(Meredith Vierra told me there was more on the subject on "our web site at TodayShow.com, but their wasn't. A quick search, however, found that they did the exact same story in August of 2005.)

Panty Thief

Heard on The Ticket this morning: "Do you think he ever did anything un-Christian-like with those panties?"

Story.

I Am Not Posting This Pic Of Uma Thurman At The Beach

Ouch

Meredith Vieira of The Today Show cracked her noggin on the ice yesterday after doing an interview with Will Ferrell. (Sheesh, can he promote that goofy ice skating movie any more that what he already has?)

Anyway, the video of the pain is here. (It's at the end of a 5:00 minute clip. It's good, but a toss up if it's worth the wait. If anyone has a quick youtube.com clip of it, send it this way. )

John McCain's MySpace Page Was Hacked

Giggle. (But it's back to normal now.)

Trial Recap (Which Is Way Too Long - And To Be Proofread Later)

This one was tricky. My client was a 20-something year old single male who was accused of DWI. Basic facts: He got off work around 5:30 p.m. in March of 2006 and then headed home and then to The Club at Runaway Bay where, he says, he had two beers with friends. When he leaves (shortly before 7:30), he does something incredibly stupid: He gets a beer out of his cooler and opens it up. As he heads down 380 towards Bridgeport, he meets a trooper.

(Rest of this lengthy post - including some real audio - is here.)

EMT Dog

This story is all over the news.

This lady gets choked while scarfing down some food and then tries to do the Heimlich maneuver on herself. (Huh?) Being unsuccessful, the faithful dog then knocked her down and jumped up and down on the lady's belly until the food particle goes flying out of her mouth. But the dog's not done: He licked his owner to keep her from passing out.

Say what? And not that I'm a skeptic, but all she has to do is say this is what happens and she gets plastered all over the news?

Uh, I've got this pet monkey that changed the fuel pump in my car last weekend. Really.

Cuban Movie Crisis

Mark Cuban is catching heat due to his company, Magnolia Pictures, planning to release a revamped Internet "movie" called Loose Change.

The movie claims that 9/11 was orchestrated by The Government in order to justify subsequent attacks in the Middle East. Yep, you read that right. Cuban has been relatively silent since the controversy ramped up this week, but I expect that is designed for the sake of publicity.

The 1 1/2 hour movie is on Google Video here. I've only watched part of it but it is well done. No, I don't believe it - I'm just saying its well produced.

Trial Update

After going out to deliberate at 10:00 a.m., the jury sent a note out shortly before noon that they were deadlocked 5-1 in favor of "not guilty". (You normally don't know which was a jury is leaning but the note certainly gave it away.) As is customary, the jury took a lunch break and will come back and deliberate after that. If this thing somehow turns in a guilty verdict, I'll get out my dress blues. Edit: I can pack my dress blues away. More about it later.

Happy 25th 26th To Julia Stiles

I'm not sure I know who she is, but I just wanted to be neighborly.

Made Me Laugh

From the Update. (Which also has a great note about how the Nazi Traffic Cam in Rhome might become a little more conspicuous.)

I Don't Know Who . . .

. . . actor Eddie Griffin is but I will never let him drive my piece of crap car. Take a look at what he does to this Ferrari today. (Yesterday.)

I Don't Know Much About Baseball . . .

. . . but I think today's box score from the Texas Rangers' game is not-a-good.

Hey, Now

I Missed This Last Month . . .

. . . but check out how Evangelist Kenneth Copeland is using his new $20 million jet.

And since I always wanted to know what the Copeland Compound looked like (it's just southeast of Newark), I found this Google satellite view of it. Sweet. Nice runway.

Screenshot From Fox News . . .

. . . as the new Democrat majority tries to bring our boys home and get us out of that mess.

Fair and Balanced. Sheesh.

Trials Are A Beating . . .

. . . even the two day ones. I'll tell you more about it tomorrow once it is over.