Hide Yo Wife. Hide Yo Kid.

Officers armed with assault rifles patrolled Zanesville Wednesday morning, a day after police killed dozens of animals that escaped from a wild-animal preserve, and where the owner’s body later was found. Warning that more animals still were on the loose, officials expected up to four school districts to cancel classes as the remaining bears, big cats and other beasts from the Muskingum County Animal Farm were hunted down. (More.)

Wow. That's one crazy story. Wild animals running wild. Thanks goodness a release of bobcats, cougars, jaguars, leopards, lions, tigers and bears could never happen here. Wait. What did you say? Oh, yeah . . . .