6.26.2008

From My Email Bag

[Email deleted] Edit: OK, my sweet emailer couldn't take the verbal attack you boys were dishing out and asked me to take it down. So I did. See what a nice guy I am? But, basically, it was a story of a car being broken into last night at Dollar General in Bridgeport. (Side note: One of my ex-wives would occasionally shop at a dollar store over my strenuous objections. My bit was to always find something she bought that cost over a dollar and express shock that the store carried a product that cost more than that. Then she'd reply, "It's the dollar store, not a dollar store. Idiot." Good times.) Anyway, a purse was stolen out of the car and the liberal weenies came over to Decatur and bought a bunch of gas and used the stolen debit card. So the emailer was trying to be sweet and warn everyone to be careful. But you guys turned on her. I've raised you better than that. And I don't know what she looks like. I just assumed she was a "hey, now." That's why I posted it. The End.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is painful to read, and not about what happened. You murdered the English language and them sodomized its corpse. Why do we complain about English not being the national language when nobody uses it properly?

Sounds like your friend(s) paid a stupid tax.

Anonymous said...

If the English language were a 12 year old boy then the e mailer is its uncle Billy and he just stuck his thumb right up the languages butt while making him say him say he likes it.

Anonymous said...

BG, how can something happen last night in BROAD DAYLIGHT ????

Anonymous said...

"broken into last night here in Bridgeport. IN BROAD DAYLIGHT..."

It was broad daylight last night??

Anonymous said...

Marilyn Manson may have said it best when he said,"I don't like the drugs but, the drugs like me."

RPM said...

Don't debit cards have a $200 per day cash limit? Mine does.

Anonymous said...

BG ..why did u let them women say all them thangs about my little weener but u wouldn't post my comments about womens big mouths!!

Anonymous said...

Barron, "raised us better than that"? If I was your son, I'd beat myself daily. And I'm a liberal panty-waist.

This is the internet, we eat our young 'round these parts.

Anonymous said...

I cried through the whole movie.

Anonymous said...

oil just passed $140 per barrell...

lovelit said...

I totally missed something.

Anonymous said...

I just passed gas that's oil I can tell.

Anonymous said...

Can you people quit being so critical of those who don't write as well as others? Not everyone was blessed with all that each of you apparently were. From my reading, this person was sending an e-mail, not submitting copy for publication in a newspaper. (BG, I'm not suggesting your blog doesn't carry all the weight of a newspaper)

And, for the sake of argument, let's go ahead and assume that night is the time of day following the afternoon. 7pm is night, and it is very much "BROAD DAYLIGHT" in Bridgeport at 7pm in June.

Good day to all the English experts....

Anonymous said...

This is the growth that comes with the city fathers' blessing on alcohol sales.

Just wait, it's gonna get worse... go count how many police cars are parked at the station at any given time...

Anonymous said...

LOWES has the family pack of Duct tape on sale!

Anonymous said...

hey 1:33, i thought your voice was changing, but your breath still smells the same..lol

Anonymous said...

I agree, 1:38, I just don't take the time to respond to all that. Thank you for taking the time.

Anonymous said...

Just because the cars are parked at the station does not indicate that officers are not working. They do work the street, and have to write reports, change tapes in the cars, meet with individuals, etc

Anonymous said...

1:38, that is the point. Horrible grammar shows you to be an idiot in any medium. We're all communicating here through written language. No, it isn't the newspaper but I wouldn't really hold them up to be any paragon of written language in the first place.

If you're that embarassed by it, you have two choices: don't write or better yourself. The library is free, you know. Most all browsers or e-mail applications have spelling and grammar checkers built-in, anyway.

Don't coddle people who are willfully ignorant. What are you some kind of LIEberal?!?!?111!one

1:47PM, you are insane. If it was that, why exactly would the thieves drive to Decatur to get gas? You can walk down the street and buy beer. Blame yourself and your elected leaders for not implementing public transit. If we had bus and rail, we wouldn't complain due to fuel prices.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry Lone Emailer of the Apocalypse of the English Language who was only trying to do a good deed. I am an ass. I apologize.
I'll second the "Hey Now" assumption and vote for an honorary one even if it's not so.

Anonymous said...

WUW! An I thoudt the ladi ded a guud jobe in hur wrepurting thet incedant tu!

Anonymous said...

Hee-hee from Barrys bag. Ha

mzchief said...

Holy Jeebus
Let me get this straight. There are people who read Barry's Blog and/or provide material to Barry's Blog who honestly care what the cretins who comment on Barry's Blog think/write about them?

All I can say is, suck it up and toughen up because there are bigger jerks in the real world than on Barry's Blog.

Incidentally, the Grammar Nazi SUCKS!

***************************************

To the anonymous e-mail purse snatcher victim...
Thank you for letting me know there are douche bags in Bridgeport who think nothing of ripping off hard working, albeit careless, Americans.

Double Fake Dr. Merriam Webster said...

"Lone Emailer of the Apocalypse of the English Language for the win.

My only question: Can you do html as well?

Feel free to call the grammar police on my punctuation and sentence creation.

I think I am only responsible for spelling, definitions, antonyms and symptoms. Am I not correct?

Double Fake Dr. Merriam-Webster

Anonymous said...

Do you see what trouble you have caused, kiddos? That's why we can't have nice things in the Liberally Lean Land of Dairy Queen these days. No chocolate dipped cones for any of you for the rest of the summer.

Mom

Anonymous said...

I got a kick out of the first comment at 11:56: "You murdered the English language and them sodomized its corpse". I find it funny when people criticize someone's use of the english language and "them" do it themselves.

Anonymous said...

The difference is a typo versus the whole e-mail being a butchering.

I was too distraught after reading it to type correctly.

Anonymous said...

rpm - my debit card has no limit - maybe it should!

RPM said...

Wow, now I feel bad about questioning the validity of the letter. Just talked to a DG employee that confirmed it.

To all the haters, I noticed you most of you were brave enough to post anonymously.

Anonymous said...

Maybe now that her self confidence has taken a hit you think I might have a shot at her? Alright,alright,already I'm kidding. I'm sorry. She was trying to be a good citizen and some cheap shots were taken.
Do forgive us nice email lady. We can't help ourselves sometimes. A lot of were dope smokers back in the day and I for one got hit in the head in a motorcycle wreck once.

Anonymous said...

Oh WordKyle, Oh Wordkyle!!!! Where are you at? You are the only one brilliant enough to get this language crisis corrected. You are thr smartest poster on this blog! You are one smart dude.

Anonymous said...

Please 10:13 - don't bother Wordklye - he's busy gathering material from his various conservative sites and hastily turning it into some form he can call his own. And yes, that DOES take brilliance!

Anonymous said...

Love him or hate him wordkyle is just a smart person and doesn't have to resort to anything like that 3:54. That should be obvious by now.

Anonymous said...

I still feel awful. Would the emailer lady please write back on here and tell me I'm forgiven? If not, at least someone come on here and pretend to be her and tell me she doesn't hate my guts and knows I was only joshin?

Anonymous said...

I just hated all the critism and being attacked. It made me feel horrible but all is forgiven and thanks to all who defended me.

~email lady