3.03.2009

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

  • Is the TAKS test offered in a Spanish version?
  • I caught Tonya Harding on Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel over the weekend. What a bitter, bitter woman.
  • Of the four guys lost as sea, did you see the rescue of one of them who hand by clinging to the boat for two days and two nights? I cannot imagine.
  • Just when did Halloween become so sexualized?
  • Tony Romo got harassed by the paparazzi in Los Angeles over the weekend. He soooo needs to prove something before he goes all Hollywood on us.
  • Do you get to date in Heaven?
  • I love Gmail.
  • Were women obsessed with their fingernails and toenails 20 years ago?
  • You would have thought the Montage County Jail would be reopened by now.
  • Doesn't a job with the government seem like a safe alternative right now?
  • Had the strangest experience in court yesterday. An out of town lawyer who is known for some unusual conduct shows up in court during a docket call. One of my clients' name is called and we go stand behind before the judge. I glance back and find the aforementioned attorney standing right behind my client - barely a foot away - facing the judge. We all kind of look at each other. I make my announcement to the judge and the other lawyer turns and walks out of the courtroom. What the heck was that about?
  • The Mavericks lost to Oklahoma City last night? Time to blow up the team - this era is over.
  • During Joel Osteen's televised sermons, he advertises a book that his wife authored at the same time via a graphic. Makes me shake my head.
  • I always wake up 10 to 15 minutes before my alarm goes off. I then reposition myself to easily reach the snooze button and then fall back asleep.
  • The Plane Landing on The Hudson even has been recreated with the traffic control audio overlayed on it. It's really great. Man, that happened fast.

82 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very nice pictured this morning...I'm ready for their sleepover!!

Anonymous said...

Members of Barry's Sunday School Class.

Anonymous said...

Joel Olsteen?

LET ME (boom boom) ENTERTAIN YOU!

Anonymous said...

Osteen's wife is a PWILF, he's a dork I'd like to punch!

Anonymous said...

Plus he looks like he should have George Castanza standing beside him.

Anonymous said...

DILP ( Dork I'd Like to Punch)

Anonymous said...

I have actually met the Osteens in person, and have my picture with each of them. I went to a Sunday service after attending the Joyce Meyer conference at their church. I was so excited to meet and shake their hands, that I teared up. I just love them, they are such great people.
I believe Jesus Christ will be coming back to take all his children home real soon. I hope to see all you Wise Countians when I get to heaven.
signed: Christian all the way

Anonymous said...

that DILP could actually PUNCH and out fight most men in this Country Ol Joel O is one above the average fit person...He can Bench more than twice his body weight and do pull ups and push ips with one hand he spars and is very active! A Dork he isnt Let not the sheep fool you he is trully a BAD ass thank goodness he is a nice guy and not a man with an attitude or chip on his shoulder! Seriously He aint no GeeK... His wife is Smoking hott think for a minute she would stay with him if he was a geek or somthing that most guys could take out with a punch? NO She feels protected by the dude because he is capable of protecting her! Best you never judge a book by its cover I am telling you that is so stupid to do lest you wake up wondering WTF happened to your Dumb ass!

Anonymous said...

that plane video is greatness

Anonymous said...

God's Avon man.

Anonymous said...

Very funny 8:38 - that was intended to be funny, right?

mzchief said...

For decades, countless women have made it a bi-monthly event to get a mani and a pedi. Of course there are those among us who do their own EVERY week.

Just because I take care of my fingers and toes and do not have feet like a troll does not mean I am obsessed, right?
*;)

mzchief said...

To anonymous 8:38...
*OTFLOLHysterically*
That was fuuunnnyyyy! Thanks for the laugh.
*StillLOLHysterically*

Anonymous said...

"that DILP could actually PUNCH and out fight most men in this Country"
Your are trying to make a funny, right? if not, why don't you go and eat another donut, Joel butt kisser.

Bigwillie02 said...

Four guys lost (as) sea.?

Better luck tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

You would have thought the Montage County Jail would be reopened by now.

You would think so, but apparently Sheriff Lot is having trouble finding 10 righteous men (or women) for jailers in Sodomgomorrahland, aka Montague County

Anonymous said...

Maybe Olsteen should quit his 'feel
good preaching and go to Friday nite Smackdown!!

Anonymous said...

8:38, do you really think Jesus is going to come down to earth and take you and the rest of the Christians to heaven? Seriously? Do you REALLY think that's going to happen?


Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Anonymous said...

9:16 I can prove my point if you wish dear sir! I dont even really like or care for Joel I am mearly pointing out that his meek and weak appearence is deciving he is very and I mean very very strong and quick Lets see you bench your own body weight 3 times! Betchya cant and he can bench twice his body weight repeticiosly! He can Spar with the best of them!... If you wish to be proven this I incourage you to meet with me I promise you will never look at another (person) with the same lack of respect as for what they are capable of! I am not threating anyone here merly pointing out that most only belive themselves in thinking that they are some sort of Bad ass! Whats wrong with donuts???

Anonymous said...

Left to Right
1. Buy
2. Sell
3. Sell
4. Buy
5. Sell fast
6. Sell fast

Barry 5 & 6 are dudes. You got 2 out of 6 this morning. Why dont you use my girl in the pink bikini?

Anonymous said...

8:59 & 9:12 Mschief--No to both of you, that was not intended to be funny. Do you not see all the signs of the times going on around us? Phophecy is being ful-filled as we speak. Go to church or watch preachers on TV and you will see that our Lord will be returning soon to take us, his children, those that believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God, that he died on the cross for your sins, and that he was resurrected. We all will get to live in eternity with our King. I will pray for you that you soon come to have a personal relationship with Christ. I don't want anyone to burn in eternal hell. I love you both. Have a wonderful and Blessed day.
signed: Christian all the way

Anonymous said...

He is very handsom I think he has a wonderful wife and family.I saw a biography about him and remember the claims 8:42 has made to be acurate. And a little understated.

Anonymous said...

9:50 Oh, I will be praying for your salvation all day today. Yes I do believe that Jesus Christ will come for me. The joy of the Lord is my strength, and I'm happily waiting his return. No one, including you or anyone else on this blog could ever convince me otherwise. 9:50 Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior? I'm assuming you do not, maybe that's why you have bitterness and discontempt. God Bless you, precious child of God. Have a beautiful day.
Signed: Christian all the way.

Anonymous said...

Happy Squared Root Day everyone. 03/03/09

Anonymous said...

You send money to the TV preachers, don't you, 9:54AM?

Anonymous said...

Sí. La prueba TAKS tiene una versión en español.

Doble Falso Jose Jimenez

Anonymous said...

Some day we will be asking if the TAKS test is printed in English if you know what I'm sayin.

Anonymous said...

Yeah...9:54 "Christian All The Way"

Keep sending your money to the crooked Televangelists!

By the way, I think God just told Kenneth Copeland to buy another jet...reach deep into those pockets!!!

Anonymous said...

20 years agao it was 1989.

Maybe you want to say 30 or 40 years ago.

Anonymous said...

20 years ago in 1989 I used to get it all the time and now I don't.

I don't know what happened.

Anonymous said...

"Do you get to date in Heaven?"

I would think it would depend on where your "companion" ended up. I've always wondered myself about the folks that have been married 2, 3 or 8 times. I'm thinking they'll have to switch to being Mormon assuming they make it past St. Pete to begin with.

Double Fake the Gabor Sisters

Anonymous said...

10:43 and 11:04 who ever said that 9:54 said they send money to tv preachers? F**king idiots I hope 10:43 and 11:04 burn in hell. so there, go fu*k yourselves. And I got more where this came from a** holes. I'll take you all on, any day of the week. Maybe some of you could come over to my house, I'll show you my private gun collection.

Bring it on baby!!!!

double fake Joel Osteen

Anonymous said...

11;27 You pissed or what? Its folks like you that "go off" sounding all crazy and crap that makes those like "US responsible gun owners" worry about loosing our rights to bear arms...Calm you Sh8t already dude! Act reasonable and dont make stupid lame ass threats...DA

Anonymous said...

What an idiot 11:27.WTF man?

M-M said...

These guys all preach false doctrine, including Billy Graham, Jimmy Swaggert, Jim Baker, Copeland.
They preach once saved always saved=false doctrine.
They preach God is a spirit=false doctrine.
They preach the trinity doctrine=false doctrine.
Etc. Etc. Etc.

Anonymous said...

Can someone tell me what time the Sissies play in Austin this weekend


Double Fake Regale the Eagle

mzchief said...

To anonymous 9:54...
WOW!
You poor, poor duped soul. Keep reading the Big Book of Myths and Fables if that is what it takes to keep you from joining some other cult that could end with you attempting to hook up with a comet. You have a greater chance of Jesus kissing your arse than me having "a personal relationship with Christ" so you would be better off praying and depending on the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa and/or Cookie Monster showing up at your home with a giant check for a TRILLION DOLLARS.

Incidentally, I STILL think your original, 8:38, comment was HILARIOUS.

Anonymous said...

11.27 You need some of that
Old Time Religion. What a potty
mouth.

Anonymous said...

Weeee doogies, I think some of you folks must be stroking ole Joey. If you think he's not a corrupt politician/preacher, your an idiot! Take away all his money and see if he's smiling so much. Money corrupts ALL! Peace out

The Real Xanthippas said...

Barry,

Please stop putting disgusting pictures of scantily clad women on your blog or I will no longer post here.

I prefer sweaty men... pecs glistening in the sun... young boys work for me too.

Oh, and PLEASE visit my blog. I only have 1 visitor so far today and I don't want him to feel lonely.

TRX

Anonymous said...

I missed something. The Mavericks had an era? What day was that?

You may call me Your Majesty. In fact, I insist. said...

Heck, I'm not even dating on Earth.

Yet.

Bubear, you busy Saturday night?

Anonymous said...

Enjoy reading most of these blogs, but sure won't be seeing some of you in Glory.

Anonymous said...

mzchief---what exactly in my comment at 8:38am touched your heart and soul so much? Whatever is was, just goes to show you how God works in mysterious ways. It makes me so glad to hear that God's word has stirred something up in you on the inside today. Unfortunately Satan has fooled you for a long time, but if you rebuke the devil and repent of your sins, you will be abundently blessed. I'm thinking you have probably been aroused by your Holy Spirit today. As far as I'm concerned you have been witnessed to today, doesn't it feel great? Jesus tells us in the Bible not to mock him, I will continue praying for you until our King returns. He will be here soon, everyone will know when Jesus Christ has returned and when the trumphet sounds. It will be heard all over the world, for all God's children to hear and know.
Mission accomplished: Mzchief was witnessed to today, smile it increases your face value. :)

mzchief said...

To anonymous 2:53...
Is your comment another one of those REALLY dry attempts at humour?

Just because I do not buy into your particular mythical version of salvation/deliverance does not mean I do not believe in God. You Wacky Christians who, for lack of knowledge and/or arrogance, believe you have sole proprietorship to God are ALWAYS good for a chuckle. It is NOT the "Holy Spirit" or ANY of your dimwitted preachings that has touched my heart. I have a SOUND relationship with God that has NOTHING to do with YOUR demi-god, Jesus of Nazareth. As for Satan, I HONESTLY believe people, like you, who peddle their myths and fables are doing the Devil's work by requiring people to worship your demi-god, thus, steering people AWAY from God.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Lord help us all. Somebody pushed Mzchief's button....harrrrrrd.

Double Fake King James

Anonymous said...

God's gonna getcha for that!

The Dead Flip Wilson

Anonymous said...

Isn't there something about following false prophets?

Double Fake Ted Haggard

Anonymous said...

I was wondering why I wonder newspaper has not said anything about the kid from Decatur being stabbed this weekend.

Anonymous said...

mzchief-- I love the fire that I seem to stir in you. Your a complete hoot. I know you are just trying to yank my chain. You are trying to act crazy, like you don't love the same Lord that I do. Your fun to f*** with. You have had me in stithes all day long. Thank you for such a fun Tuesday, I would've
been so bored without you today.
I'm a happy camper, and I admit I've been yanking your chain all day. Your a great sport, the world needs more people like you to just mess around and just have harmless fun.

Bless you,
Christian all the way.

Your Loving God said...

4:19PM, that wasn't very Christian of you........and you can't spell for shiate.

mzchief said...

To anonymous 4:19...
If you were truly soooo happy you would not have felt the need to "witness" on Barry's Blog.

You're (Yes! You're is the contraction for 'you are') the one who has provided much laughter for Barry's Blog, today. Take a peek at ALL the comments laughing at and mocking your hysterically funny comments supporting the Osteen's and their Christian Cult. Please, note my comment at 9:12 declaring my HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER at your lunacy exhibited in your comment at 8:38.

Oh, is espousing your devotion and belief in your Christ, Lord and King the new Christian way to "f*** with" people? If publicly proclaiming your love, devotion and faith in your Christ, Lord and King is your way of truly attempting to yank my chain all day, you are the one in DESPERATE need of working on YOUR personal relationship with God and your demi-god, Jesus of Nazareth. If you have not been attempting to yank my chain and "f*** with" me then you are a LIAR. Either way, YOU LOSE.

Just a suggestion, prior to your next attempt to "f*** with" someone you should STOP because you lack the intelligence to "f*** with" anyone, much less, someone like me.

You Christian wackos are such a dim lot.

Anonymous said...

I think mzchif had a "bad touch uncle" in her past that used to tickle her twinkie and read Bible verses when she stayed over at her cousins or somethin'.

Anonymous said...

The correct spelling is Regal!

Anonymous said...

MIZ-

You believe in God, yet call Christians wacky. I don't get it!

She/he never said she sends money to televangelists. How could anyone read that into her post.

My God will come back; I hope you're all on board when he does.

BTW - my (THE) Bible is neither myth nor fable. If you're a true believer, you'd not poke fun at Christians.

BTW - I'm not laughing nor mocking her recent posts - your's however, I feel sorry for!

No MIZ - in my book, YOU lose! I hope you find your way - really.

Another Christian (or Christian wacko if you prefer) all the way!!!!

Xanthippas said...

I don't even have to make an appearance in comments to be mocked! Truly, I am hated. It gives me goosebumps. Unfortunately, I am not being cyber-hated by someone who is funny, interesting, or original, but beggars can't be choosers.

(BTW, my one visitor was TRX...so please yes, visit my blog so he won't be lonely.)

mzchief said...

To Xanthippas...
Congratulations you now know the giggle I get every time some cretin lets me know I mean soooo much to them they think about me without me even needing to post a comment.

Some of the petty gits lack the self-esteem to allow people to have an opinion different from theirs and not allow it to leave them an emotional wreck.

EXCELLENT work, Xan.

mzchief said...

To anonymous 6:53...
Thank you for proving my point about Wacko Christians.
*LOL@U*

Anonymous said...

We all Almost met our maker oover the weekend... Did anyone else hear the story about the "near miss"? apparently an Asteroid ten story's tall and sevral hundred feet across went by us less than 45 k miles...WOW could have sent us all to see just who's right and who's wrong? Just sayin By the Way that ws on CNN

Anonymous said...

MZCHEIF,

There is no way that you could be a christian. You are to self centered and have no love in your heart for people. Your comments on this blog are always negative and rude. I know that you get a kick out of people posting comments about you. I feel sorry for you. You seem to be a very unhappy person, you never act as if you have much joy in your life. You should know that Jesus Christ is real and he loves you, he died for your sins and if you confess your sins and accept him as your personal Lord and Savior you will be saved. I hope that you can find peace with your self and your fellow man. I will pray for you Mzchief.

Anonymous said...

4:19 was not me "Christian all the way" I don't know who posted that.
Mzchief-- I would never use that type of foul language that was wrote at 4:19 yesterday. They ought to be ashamed of themselves.
What they wrote was mean and disheartened. Mzchief your response was mean and evil too.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You shouldn't let anyone upset you that way. You do seem very bitter at people and life in general. I will keep praying for you. Have a blessed day.
Christian all the way

Anonymous said...

Here's somethin I was just thinkin about a little earlier:

Mzchief,you and the ones you fight with really are a bunch of lost retards in so many ways.

Anonymous said...

I prefer you not use the word retards, the nice way to put it is mentally challenged. Some of us have children that are mentally challenged. I'm just sayin

Double Fake-Elvis

Anonymous said...

10:24 since you replied with a negative comment to Mzchief does that mean that you are a lost retard as well?

The Real Xanthippas said...

"I am not being cyber-hated by someone who is funny, interesting, or original."

I'm doing my job well - I mirror you exactly!

Please continue to be boring, bland and terribly unoriginal. It makes my job that much easier!

I'm not hatin', just sayin'!

Anonymous said...

I think Mzchief is the lost retarded bas*ard. Mzchief what is your problem? Did your mother take you off the titty too early?
I think you're a vicious, satanic worshipping person. I hope I never meet you. I'd probably punch your eye sockets out.

mzchief said...

To anonymous 9:12 & 9:49...
You REALLY need to reread your comments on this blog and REALLY worry about your own spiritual salvation rather than concerning yourself with mine.


**********************************

To The Haters...
You people need to get a hobby other than attempting to speculate on my upbringing and intellect. You grant me WWWAAAAYYYYY too much power in your lives. However, thanks for letting me know I make a difference to YOU.

One thing you gits who post as anonymous have yet to realize, I have NO respect for any of you gutless dolts. You so lack the conviction in the opinions you put forward you will not even own them by CONSISTENTLY posting while using an alias. Regardless of ANYTHING you Haters have to say about me, I at least have the INTEGRITY to OWN my comments.

Xanthippas said...

I'm doing my job well - I mirror you exactly!

Um, you might want to consider looking up the definition of "satire." You'll find the bar is set just a little higher than that.

The Real Xanthippas said...

But man, am I ever stringing you along!

I'm apparently getting inside your head a little (luckily there's room enough in there for the both of us). I must have been pretty close on my assessment of you the other day, otherwise you'd simply ignore me.

TRX

Anonymous said...

Mzchief,

Is Mzchief your real name? At least you have the intergrity to own your own comments, that 12:44 post is bull shit. Tell us what your name is.

Amanda

Anonymous said...

mzchief,

what's your phone number too? Mine is 1-940-692-4433 (spells mzchief on the phone pad)ha, ha ha ha ha ha.

Anonymous said...

Like I said...TARDS with Mzchief being the QUEEN TARD.

mzchief said...

To The Haters...
If it is no big deal to post EVERY comment using an alias get an alias and OWN your comments.

As for handing out my real name to you petty, scum; FORGET IT. However, most of you Wise County people KNOW ME but just do not realize who I am.

***************************

To anonymous 3:14...
If we are "tards" you are an absolute idiot because YOU have WITTINGLY joined the fracas.

Anonymous said...

I cried through the whole movie.

Anonymous said...

Mzchief, I think I might know who you are. Where do you work?

I think you would be cool to hang out with.

Anonymous said...

Miz,

Just as I thought. You are too big of a sissy to let anyone know who you are. You talk trash and stir trouble, but hide behind an alias.

You are a coward.
Amanda

Anonymous said...

I know MZCHIEF. She is nobody special. This blog is the only attention she gets.

mzchief said...

To anonymous/Amanda...
I know people like you lurk around Wise County thus, not giving my name, on the Interweb, makes me wise, NOT a "sissy."

*******************************

To anonymous 8:34...
Since you "know MZCHIEF" spill the beans and tell everyone my full REAL name. There are 6 people I know, who visit Barry's Blog, including Barry, who KNOW my REAL name.

tick!

tick!

tick!

tick!

Anonymous said...

Some comments were about TV preachers. Well, while channel surfing Sunday, the preacher with the mustache and goatee, on the Religeous Channel, 68 I think, was talking about planting a seed. The seed he wanted planted
was a $1000.00 donation. He said things like, your non-believer
relatives are going to be envious at all the wealth and stuff you will have, if you are in a lawsuit now, the seed will make it go your way, if you plant/pay the $1000.00 seed, you will get your money back 10 fold in 90 days. He even said that if you did not have a grand, charge it on your credit card. He said God will help you pay for it. This preacher said that $1000.00 would not even buy good sofa, so you might as well plant. This went on for some time. He had a bunch of the flock that was there that had planted (or claimed to have) their $1000.00 seed up on the stage and I think he prayed about it. It was quite a show.

Mucho Sass said...

4:38...I would venture a guess that if Mzchief replies, she's going to tell you that she is not employed.

Anonymous said...

Mzchief, I totally agree with you on your views about religious nuts. These folks do so much more harm than good by getting in people's faces and "preaching" a gospel that they likely don't even understand.

So much ignorance is in the so called "Christian" community, because some folks get the "call", grab a Bible, gather up a few ignorant followers, start and church and wallah.....

....more ignorance.

This should all really be against the law, but since the church is protected, this will go on and on and on.

I think somebody in Washington is investigating some of these TV preachers. Good - this is way overdue.

WAY overdue!

Anonymous said...

HaHa somebody said Wallah