8.11.2008

Oh, By The Way, A Hurricane Is Headed Through This Afternoon

After I staggered into my living room this morning before the sun came up, I turned on the TV and saw Channel 5's weather gal "Jennifer Lopez." She was matter of factly telling us that we had a good chance for rain this afternoon and then, without the slightest bit of urgency, said, "And we could see winds as high as 50 to 60 miles per hour later today." Huh? First of all, that's not going to happen. Secondly, how can you possibly either believe that or, if you do, how can you not be excited about it? I mean, Pete Delkus will take us to DEFCON 1 at the chance of pea size hail. That man knows how to play up sensationalism. Because it's not enough to simply make those claims, you've got to put a little bit of panic in your voice. Maybe, just for grins, point at a part of the map and say "I expect a storm to develop here that might very well have a hook on the back side that that good destroy Camp Bowie Boulevard if the conditions become just right." Anyway, JLo, I've been looking at my Walmart barametric-pressue-reader-thingy and those winds aren't going to happen. Now watch it happen. I think I'll go reinforce my crank lab just to be safe.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is one deformed looking pic you got there.

Anonymous said...

Agree, Pete Delkus is a chode. His teasers annoy the heck out of me!!!

Pete: Do we have a chance a rain this week? More after the break.

(Break)

Pete: No chance of rain this week.

Anonymous said...

Posted somthing in the previous Blog about not Arming the MEXIANS? she's loaded man what a WEAPON wow!

Anonymous said...

no, ron jackson is far worse than the rest..the other day there was rain up by w. falls, everyone's really dry here and dumb ass r jackson say's i believe the rain will stay to our north, i don't see any problems for us..what problems dumb sob..!!

Anonymous said...

how about that spook on channel 8..where's mitland..???

Anonymous said...

*cough*..photoshop

Anonymous said...

How do you reinforce a crank lab, anyway? I mean, if it already has the tie-downs what else is there to do? Throw old tires on the roof?

Double Fake Cousin Eddie

Anonymous said...

Lopez is a fraud...

Anonymous said...

2:26 You can also put one of those blue plastic tarps on the roof, on top of the tires. Can't be too careful these days!! The rainwater coming in could dilute the meth and/or cause the hot glassware to explode.

Anonymous said...

Her ass could cause that dress to explode.

M-M said...

Photoshopped- Her waist is the diameter of her colon and her butt three times bigger than her head, but only in rear, nothing on the sides. Total fake.

Anonymous said...

I agree - Pete Delkus is the worst at the tease for rain. He's even said, "Rain in our forecast? Come back after the break and I'll tell you how much rain we might get."

Break.

"None." But it takes him a lot more than one word to say it.

Anonymous said...

Back that thang over here, I need the shade.

Anonymous said...

Delkus is a dufus.I was really disapointed when he moves into the 6 and 10 pm anchor spot. He must have been servicing Troy. Steve McCauley is a far better meteoroligist, not just a talking head.

Anonymous said...

i heard a meth lab got hit last nite

Anonymous said...

2:26 - Crap!! I'm still laughing at that from yesterday!! CLassic!!

Anonymous said...

i think it would be great i'f we had weather girls in bikinis or victoria's secret models wearing those little sexy thangs they wear in the commercials...i hate weathermen..!!

Anonymous said...

I would knock the stuffin's out of those muffins.

Anonymous said...

The UGLIEST most deformed woman alive famous for her beauty and body. Very strange.