Annual Christmas Letter

From Gordon Keith. Excerpt:
I am not going to ask for toys this Christmas. I am so over that. In the Bible it says, "when I was a child I spake as a child, and when I became a man, I thought the word spake sounded funny." I ask that you give all my presents to other kids this year, Santa. Preferably blonde ones from middle-class backgrounds.
Full letter here. Funny stuff.