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Hurricane Talk

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I'm an expert in weather predicting* as all of you know. It's just another one of my talents that I like to share from time to time. So I thought I'd check into expanding into hurricane forecasting since I might be of help to the good folks from Florida to South Carolina.

I got side tracked right off the bat with this crazy Saffir-Simpson scale. What is the deal with that? My staff has gone to great lengths to calculate the range of miles per hour for each category and they've discovered a serious flaw which has heretofore gone unnoticed by the masses. (See high tech graphic above). Why are all the ranges different instead of uniform?  And why start at 74? Why cap it at > 155? Lots of problems here. Lots of problems.

Well, Mr. Saffir and Mr. Simpson, there's a new sheriff in town. I have modified it utilizing a highly technical standardized 19 mph range with some extra tweaking which will certainly be approved by the National Hurricane Center before the weekend:
  • 60-79 (Lowers threshold of official hurricane to 60 so we can have more hurricanes to track.)
  • 80-99 (Under 100 and we're still safe. We aren't getting worked up over a Cat 2.)
  • 100-119 (Crack 100 and we're in the big time. All media would lock onto a 100 mph threshold.)
  • 120-139 (That's a good range for Cat 4. That's all I got.)
  • > 140 (Lower threshold for Cat 5 so it can be occasionally achieved)
With that problem solved, I'm now back to the lab. 
*The cold front that's coming will hit Decatur at 4:45 a.m. tomorrow morning.

Edit: Who is trying to be funny?  "And your kids die, too."


Triple Fake... said...

"Under 100 and we're still safe."

So, the "we" you're referring to means anybody but you, right? Or does safe mean "not worth getting your news panties in a bunch"?
There ain't nuthin' safe about a 99mph wind!

On the one hand, you want to increase the number of hurricanes to track, and then you contradict it by saying two of the categories aren't that important

Triple Fake Appropriate Amount of Caps (but with all caps intensity!)

Anonymous said...

Hey Bu.....


Anonymous said...

Barry, I am impressed.

DF Pete Delkus
DF rolling up my sleeves

Anonymous said...

The scale is based on types of damage that can occur with different wind speeds. Based on all the knowledge gained over the years. Used to help predict and guide warnings and safety measures. Let the experts handle it, please. And it's not funny.

Anonymous said...

What's this storm's name again?

DF Sheila Jackson Lee


Mr. Mike Honcho said...

Because the Saffir Simpson scale measures damages caused by wind. It doesn't measure direct wind speed.

Anonymous said...

I believe we have had two over 200 mph ,Camille at Gulfport and Katrina at New Orleans. One in Florida in 1920's I think had the largest loss of life .
I'm guessing those two would be off the scale ?

Anonymous said...

Where is a hurricane? Here are current wind speeds:

RatherBeSailing said...

Ref the cold front: Why isn't " cool front," an official term for the meteorologists?

Anonymous said...

So is your scale logarithmic or proportional?

DF Trump University Math Department

Anonymous said...

You're no Harold Taft

Anonymous said...


The largest loss of life was in Galveston.

Andy Stevenson said...

Since aerodynamic loads are based on dynamic pressure and since dynamic pressure is equal to rho (density) times velocity squared, a linear scale as you've proposed shows a naive grasp of the laws of physics.

NoseALot said...

RTG: I don't comment when someone is born ugly, but when they choose to be so; that female is as unattractive as they come. ( scummy, tacky, cheap, trashy, dirty, not fit for human consumption)