9.12.2013

This Guy Is Going To Die, Right?


Jonathan Trappe, 39, lifted off at 6.20 am EDT in heavy fog from Caribou, Maine, with the intention of making the 2,500 mile trip across the Atlantic to Europe.

Should he succeed, he would be the first ever person to cross the ocean by cluster ballooning. The journey is expected to take between three to five days, although the final destination could be anywhere.

More. (And youtube of lift off.)

Hey, I'm no Charles Lindbergh and my only experience in flying is sitting by a fat guy in coach from time to time, but this guy can't possibly make it.

I know how helium balloons work. I went to Six Flags as a kid. You bring it home and it's fat and tight and just wants to glue itself to the ceiling.   Then you wake up the next morning and you end up with little Barry tears rolling down your little Barry cheeks as the balloon is a shell of its once proud self. Heck, by evening your trying not to step on the dang thing. It's like watching the circle of life in 24 hours.

So this guy thinks those balloons are going to last three to five days? No way, buddy. I hope you've never watched Open Water -- this ain't gonna end pretty. Life's not a cartoon.