9.15.2017

Random Friday Morning Thoughts


  • The Mooch just became a father and now he wants a paternity test. Love that man.
  • I loved the comment which said I finished last in my class at Baylor Law School. If "cum laude" means "last", then you are right. 
  • Always view Trump through these lenses: (1) He wants to be loved by the masses. Not by his wife. Not by his kids. But by the masses. (2) He wants to be perceived as a "winner". Once you understand that, you will understand every action he makes.
  • Vince Young is the greatest college football player I've ever seen and that game may be the greatest college game I've ever seen. (Nevertheless, I still hate the Evil Empire.)
  • Serious question: If you knew a guy who was a great high school football kicker and a major college program had expressed concerns about its kicker, how do you go about getting your (kicking) foot in the door?
  • Speaking of the Empire, this was very confusing yesterday: 
  • Once we have a new district judge, I'm going to fire off a hot opinion over what I've seen over the last couple of months. 
  • Sean Hannity's diverse panel on racism. It's like the cast of  blonde Mean Girls with a dumb guy thrown in: 
  • The Tarrant County DA deleted her tweet where she misspelled "scholarship." She has to hate me. 
  • The saddest think about Sheriff Clarke resigning (and "getting the Heisman" when he went for a White House job) is that we never again get to see him in uniform with his fake medals. 
  • My most genius idea for jury selection. Elimiate voir dire. Instead, have all of them show up for two hours the night before trial with an open bar and free food. Tell them they will be recorded but they are free to say and interact with others however they wish. 
  • My normal routine of "It's Friday. Let's get out of here" won't happen because I'm on one of my football trips. But this time I took Mrs. LL with me.  She may divorce me by Monday. 
  • On the plane here I sat by a lady who looked like Queen Latifah.   I fell asleep and then, as I was waking up, put my hands around her arm because I forgot Mrs. LL was not sitting to my right instead of my left. The lady, who was more than sweet, later said to Mrs. LL, "I was about ready to declare him my airplane husband."