The Campaign For DA

12.17.2015

I Like Bits: Look What BagOfNothing Just Sent To Me


Now that is funny. Texas Flag. American Flag. Eagle. Pandering to Wise Countians.


I'm trying to think of ways to trick it up even more.

(In my best Ali G voice to BagOfNothing: "Respek")

Options so for based upon advice from faithful readers:

  • Add the Family Unit praying around the table before a meal.
  • Add Dairy Queen logo. 
  • Add Speedo Man.
  • Look lovingly at Mrs LL while sitting in separate chairs outside.
  • Add a Random Thought girl. 
  • Add "gun and Bible"
  • Add Trump wig
  • Add the Family Pups but leave out the Family Cat (voters hate cats)
  • Add a Stetson
  • "It really could use a pickup truck with a Susan G. Komen pink ribbon,along with some fire fighters holding a tub of Blue Bell ice cream. Perhaps you and the family, in Cowboys jerseys, playing touch football in the front yard with a big old flag on the porch"
  • Add angry Ron Jeremy for stealing his mustache
  • "'Murica' T-shirt on with cutoff sleeves standing with one foot on a dead carcass holding AR-15"
  • "You need the Ten Commandments and a Come and Take It flag."
  • "How about 'and another' female teacher" 
  • "Dye your hair red and get the Trump combover. Then add a squirrel on top. The squirrel needs to be saluting and holding a US flag."
  • "1. Photoshop on one side Sheriff Buford T. Justice; 2. Wear your trusty Donald Trump tie (yes, we know you own one); 3. Upload video of you kicking down a door (a la Texas-Hack lawyer); 4. Photoshop Mark Davis and Mark Cuban on other sides of the poster; 5. RTG girls galore in American-flag bikinis; [Signed] Loyal reader from Honduras"
  • "You need to work in Britney. Maybe in red, white and blue body paint?"
  • "This is easy. Just say you are going to have a luxurious weekend and that your law firm has made billions and billions of dollars.
  • "Video of you bustin' caps with an AR 15 at a gun range then later video of you and the wife and your black lab(s). You are sipping a drink that may or may not be alcohol but the viewer presumes if alcohol it is expensive and your use is very temperate. The wife takes a break from knitting to look up at you in adoration. The dog looks up from its place in front of the fireplace wags his tail and then dozes back off. Somewhere and eagle screeches. Fade to black. Murica!"
  • "Give me a razor and I can make that a Hitler mustache. You win!"
And a faithful reader just sent me this to one up BagOfNothing. I cannot stop laughing:



Edit: Oh, my! We have another submission . . .





58 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pose for that in a speedo and you got my vote.

Anonymous said...

Looking like a Politician. You just need to do a Trump rant and I think you will have it.

Anonymous said...

Do you have any low milage mini vans?
Oh sorry, I thought you were someone else.

Anonymous said...

That is excellent, but without some play on the faux DQ logo, it is not official.

Anonymous said...

Is that Mustache real?

Upstairs said...

Trick it up? Add a pic of Mrs. LL and the Kids in the House holding hands and praying before eating the incredible home cooked meal she just made while wearing high heels and pearls. That's easy. You're welcome.

Jaye said...

Where is your gun and your bible?

Baylor Too said...

You are still listed as a Republican candidate on the RPT website. Are you running on the Republican ticket or as an Independent? (I still think you have a much better chance as an R.)

Bacon said...

I can pick the RTG if you want.

Anonymous said...

Add in a Trump Wig and you are golden!!!

Anonymous said...

Add the Family Dogs but leave out the Family cat (Voters hate cats. Everyone knows that.)

Anonymous said...

It really could use a pickup truck with a Susan G. Komen pink ribbon,along with some fire fighters holding a tub of Blue Bell ice cream. Perhaps you and the family, in Cowboys jerseys, playing touch football in the front yard with a big old flag on the porch

Anonymous said...

Nice TCU tie!

Tim Spencer said...

Add a Stetson. It will draw attention away from the 'stache.

Anonymous said...

There's a Blizzard of justice coming to Wise County!

Skeeter said...

How about a jail inmate dipping snuff?

Anonymous said...

I like bi...ts, too!

- DF J. F. Walsh

Anonymous said...

How about "and another" female teacher

Anonymous said...

You need the Ten Commandments and a Come and Take It flag.

Rage

Anonymous said...

"Murica" T-shirt on with cutoff sleeves standing with one foot on a dead carcass holding AR-15.

Anonymous said...

Maybe eating some Blue Bell in a Stetson on the porch of a church.

DF "Racehorse" Haynes said...

After seeing that picture, I'm not so sure that Lowrey is the better choice.

Anonymous said...

You need to incorporate the wife beater t-shirt, tight short shorts and knee high tube socks with stripes. Complete the ensemble with the white Adidas tennis shoes with 3 blue stripes.

Damn, you were a hottie that day at the Bport city pool.

Anonymous said...

Who says you are limited to one pic?

Let's create a slideshow of sorts, including images and symbols that appeal to everyone.

Denney Crane said...

If you add a gun and a pet you will lock in half the vote in the county just by association...unless the go straight ticket

Anonymous said...

Hey Bu....

RED tie.....

Anonymous said...

Teamsters local 5747 supports Green.

Anonymous said...

I got it...

Dye your hair red and get the Trump combover. Then add a squirrel on top. The squirrel needs to be saluting and holding a US flag.

Gotta go feed the worms.

Double Fake Cousin Eddie

Anonymous said...

Oh....and holding some huge nuts.

Double Fake Cousin Eddie

Anonymous said...

You need to work in Britney. Maybe in red, white and blue body paint?

Anonymous said...

Are you going to take the oath with your hand on the Quran?

Anonymous said...

1. Photoshop on one side Sheriff Buford T. Justice;
2. Wear your trusty Donald Trump tie (yes, we know you own one);
3. Upload video of you kicking down a door (a la Texas-Hack lawyer);
4. Photoshop Mark Davis and Mark Cuban on other sides of the poster;
5. RTG girls galore in American-flag bikinis;

Loyal reader from Honduras

Anonymous said...

5:32

Don't be a dick.

Anonymous said...

You need something that says.....

Vote I!!! Meaning ME!!! Barry Green!!!!

Someone say.....IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Anonymous said...

"This is easy. Just say you are going to have a luxurious weekend and that you law firm has made billion and billions of dollars."

Anonymous said...

You could work in the traditional old old Wise County saying for your aged supporters.

Eighter From Decatur, County Seat of Wise

DF It doesn't mean what you think it means

Anonymous said...

GREENMACHINE for 2016!

Anonymous said...

Barry is just another creep who wants to control people.

Anonymous said...

Get rid of the mustache. You'll lose some women voters.

Look directly at the camera - that side view makes you look sneaky.

Anonymous said...

Oh Barry !

Love You

DF Laurie Barringer

Anonymous said...

So, guess running for DA is just a big joke to you? No respect for the office?

Anonymous said...

9:34 He is poking fun at political ads, not the office. Back to those fries, they aren't going to cook themselves!

Anonymous said...

Slow clap at 11:39.

I have never been so happy to see a candidate go independent. Beyond the bits (and they are delicious), you have won back my respect for your integrity, Barry Green.

As I said before, I have usually disagreed with you, but I respected your integrity. I'm glad that I still can. Mean what you say, and say what you mean. Everyone respects sincerity.

I don't know if I would endorse you as a D.A., because I disagree with your knee-jerk reactions to police. But I will certainly keep your name in the hat.

Anonymous said...

Separated at birth: Barry Green For District Attorney, and Ron Swanson from Parks And Recreation.

Anonymous said...

9:20

If you are going to do the fake thing, at least get the name right.

Double Fake Lari Barager

Anonymous said...

Video of you bustin' caps with an AR 15 at a gun range then later video of you and the wife and your black lab(s). You are sipping a drink that may or may not be alcohol but the viewer presumes if alcohol it is expensive and your use is very temperate. The wife takes a break from knitting to look up at you in adoration. The dog looks up from its place in front of the fireplace wags his tail and then dozes back off. Somewhere and eagle screeches.
Fade to black.
Murica!

Anonymous said...

Barry's web site heralds the "right to be left alone". I agree with that sentiment, although his nearly daily giddiness over the tyranny of the federal government points us in a different direction. From here it looks like Barry is simply a spoiled local kid who never grew up and who has a driving desire to be in charge because he knows better than the rest of us.

Wise County, vote for this man at your own risk. He is a liberal who puts his faith in false idols, homosexuality, atheism, and a talent for obfuscation.

Other than all that, I really don't like him much. My sentiment was sealed when he expressed personal anger on this very blog and stated that he knew people who could make life difficult for others. Such a cowardly thing to say.

Admittedly, he has the Wise County gay vote, but since they caught the photographer at the Sheriff's office and the court reporter at the courthouse, we don't even have enough representatives for the gay day parade. Well, he can always trade votes for cellphones. Isn't that how liberals do it anyway?

Anonymous said...

if you really want to get wise county voters support you need to say something like "I'm having more fun than Obama at a muslim transvestite festival". then we will all vote for you BG!!

Anonymous said...

2:57 Name one "false idol" that Barry has professed faith in, exactly how his support of basic human rights is a faith in homosexuality, where he has ever claimed he was atheist? I will concede the point on obfuscation in as much as he typically tells it from a point of view that will purposely anger some readers and drive comments, but that is why the blog is popular. If he rode the fence on every issue no one would stop in.

Anonymous said...

Gosh 2:57, did Barry run over your dog or something? Kind of harsh commentary.

DF Mellow Out

RPM said...

All these haters professing his "knee jerk reactions" to police and faith in false idols need only look at his record in the 2 terms he served as DA. I challenge you to find anything wrong or unjust with his term in office. What you will find is fairness, honesty, integrity and a desire to give the taxpayers their dollar spent wisely. No axe to grind, conviction record to acquire or agenda to push. Only blind equal justice and an interest in fairness to all. The Constitution guarantees us all equal justice under the law. Not just Republicans, conservatives, whites, english speakers or people that worship at the same church you do. It applies to every single person regardless of race, color or creed and you won't find anyone that will do that job better than Barry Green and by God we need more people like him in office.

Anonymous said...

No, I think I'll not mellow out while progressives destroy the soul of a once-great country. This forum is an impossible place to hold a fair debate and besides, Barry and his crowd seem to think being clever is the fundamental goal of argument.

I will say that Barry's greatest idol appears to be the codification of the laws of man and this is, of course, at the expense of belief in God as the ultimate authority. We live in a soft police state, appear to be on the verge of real revolution in the US, and are surrounded by graft and corruption at all levels. Barry's view of such matters is through the selected morality of social equality -- just another way of saying state-sanctioned civil rights is more important than a blanket philosophy of freedom. Ergo, smile and learn to enjoy the tyranny of the state. Barry is certainly an archist, but is he an atheist? I believe so, yes. Barry's faith in the righteous freedom of homosexual behavior has been displayed numerous times on this blog. Unlike others who frequent this space, sexual freedom is not exactly what I would term as a basic human right -- that is, any more than pedophilia or bestiality. Abnormal sexual behavior should not be encouraged.

My take on Barry is that his pursuit of truth stops down in the face of his need to win. That's a scary thought when you realize he wants to be the county DA.

One other point. Barry, I know you posted some pix with an article you had written that explained why you want the position. Because of the lack of resolution, I was unable to read that article. If there was anything there that might change my view, please make it so it is readable and repost. I would be happy to read it and, furthermore, would be delighted to discover I am wrong about your religious preferences. Wise County needs humble devoted servants, not someone driven by a progressive social agenda.

Anonymous said...

They're all hot!!!!

Anonymous said...

11:45 Well, if you can't be clever at some point it is hard to win an argument. I trust folks that can find humor in hard to reach places. It shows that their views aren't shaped by anger and fear, and that their souls are unburdened.

The man is a lawyer, he has spent his life serving, studying and protecting those laws and the citizens they apply to. His thoughts on religion and God really do not matter, and in my opinion I can see where bringing your religious views into that space can only cloud your judgment on the law. That being said, I do think he is a deeply principled man that lives a clean life, with purpose, love and dignity. I think that speaks more to his character and stands above the typical platitudes of faith we see from public figures that regularly fall short to show any decency of character. In that sense, he is refreshing.

We do live in a soft police state and it is because of the law enforcement communities imposing their own morality on the law and the people. Barry is fighting for exactly what you rail on...freedom for all and from the "tyranny of the state". There is nothing anarchist about protecting the rights of all Americans; he is the exact opposite of that.

You strangely seem to be hung up on this idea that preventing civil rights to certain groups is protection of our freedoms, but you couldn't be more wrong. Equal protection under the law for all Americans is something we have never had. It has only ever been for certain groups, mostly whom were white, male and of an acceptable faith. Everyone else has had to fight tooth and nail, march in the streets, and in many cases die to see those rights provided to their next generation. You and I never had to do that. That is what Barry is speaking out for, not the act of homosexuality, or some social movement, but that each man, woman and child is viewed and treated the same under the law.

If his pursuit of the truth had to do with winning he would have fought harder to get on the Republican ticket. Everything about the man, even his own time as DA shows that he is a humble servant. Again, treating all folks fairly is not some progressive social agenda, it is what America was founded on but what America has never achieved to be. That is where the true greatness of this country lies! Since almost day one we have always been in a fight to do better each generation by slowly coming closer to the values on which we were founded. My Christian faith calls me to be on the side of those who don't want to stop down that fight!

I honestly think your heart is in the right place, but like many Christian men it is easy to fall into that trap when we feel persecuted and don't recognize the world changing and our views being challenged the way they are. I have been in your shoes and your post is one I could have written a few years ago, but I had to lay it down, look my fellow man in the eye and search for the truth. That truth is ugly, it saddened me, but God pulled me back up and made me stronger. It didn't change my core values, what the Bible has taught me, but it did open my eyes and create a change in my heart. I will pray for you, not that your journey be like mine, or that I am more enlightened (trust me, I'm not) or any crap like that, just that your anger goes away and maybe you see the world with a little more understanding. Peace be with you and may God bless you and yours this holiday *(just kidding - I will never be that far gone)* CHRISTMAS season!

Anonymous said...

11:45, My take on you is you don't have a clue about the candidates and just look at who has an R by their name on the ballot. If you're not smart enough to click on a picture and enlarge it maybe you shouldn't be voting to start with. Speaks volumes about why we have the people we have elected in office.

Anonymous said...

RPM,

Forgive me if I cannot agree with your statement, "and an interest in fairness to all." When he left office last time, he dismissed numerous cases, including felony hot checks. We had one in his office for almost $100,000 and he let the guy off the hook because he didn't want his successor to have to deal with his old business.

That didn't seem fair to us. Was he "protecting our rightsi?" The lawbreaker was given a free pass and our company lost a lot of money, all over the timing of a regime change. That's how he justified his action. Was that justice? Was that fair?

Only a government attorney would drop this case. Mainly because it doesn't pay any more to prosecute than to dismiss. When you have no chips in the game, you have nothing to lose.

Justify these actions all you want, but if he was a humble public servant, he did not well serve this local business, nor it's voting, taxpaying owners.

Do not be deceived, he has openly disagreed with the laws of the land, much like Steven Hale, and based on his statements, will selectively prosecute them base on his beliefs, not the current laws or his oath of office.

I guess you wouldn't believe that I actually like the guy... Welcome to the state of government and law in American.

Anonymous said...

"Barry's greatest idol appears to be the codification of the laws of man and this is, of course, at the expense of belief in God as the ultimate authority." - 11:45

So you want Sharia Law instead of Constitutional Law.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad the speaks volumes guy is back

Good luck, Barry. I can't vote in Wise county. But I'll miss the blog if you win.

Boomer Sooner 12-31-15.