The Campaign For DA

12.17.2015

I Like Bits: Look What BagOfNothing Just Sent To Me


Now that is funny. Texas Flag. American Flag. Eagle. Pandering to Wise Countians.


I'm trying to think of ways to trick it up even more.

(In my best Ali G voice to BagOfNothing: "Respek")

Options so for based upon advice from faithful readers:

  • Add the Family Unit praying around the table before a meal.
  • Add Dairy Queen logo. 
  • Add Speedo Man.
  • Look lovingly at Mrs LL while sitting in separate chairs outside.
  • Add a Random Thought girl. 
  • Add "gun and Bible"
  • Add Trump wig
  • Add the Family Pups but leave out the Family Cat (voters hate cats)
  • Add a Stetson
  • "It really could use a pickup truck with a Susan G. Komen pink ribbon,along with some fire fighters holding a tub of Blue Bell ice cream. Perhaps you and the family, in Cowboys jerseys, playing touch football in the front yard with a big old flag on the porch"
  • Add angry Ron Jeremy for stealing his mustache
  • "'Murica' T-shirt on with cutoff sleeves standing with one foot on a dead carcass holding AR-15"
  • "You need the Ten Commandments and a Come and Take It flag."
  • "How about 'and another' female teacher" 
  • "Dye your hair red and get the Trump combover. Then add a squirrel on top. The squirrel needs to be saluting and holding a US flag."
  • "1. Photoshop on one side Sheriff Buford T. Justice; 2. Wear your trusty Donald Trump tie (yes, we know you own one); 3. Upload video of you kicking down a door (a la Texas-Hack lawyer); 4. Photoshop Mark Davis and Mark Cuban on other sides of the poster; 5. RTG girls galore in American-flag bikinis; [Signed] Loyal reader from Honduras"
  • "You need to work in Britney. Maybe in red, white and blue body paint?"
  • "This is easy. Just say you are going to have a luxurious weekend and that your law firm has made billions and billions of dollars.
  • "Video of you bustin' caps with an AR 15 at a gun range then later video of you and the wife and your black lab(s). You are sipping a drink that may or may not be alcohol but the viewer presumes if alcohol it is expensive and your use is very temperate. The wife takes a break from knitting to look up at you in adoration. The dog looks up from its place in front of the fireplace wags his tail and then dozes back off. Somewhere and eagle screeches. Fade to black. Murica!"
  • "Give me a razor and I can make that a Hitler mustache. You win!"
And a faithful reader just sent me this to one up BagOfNothing. I cannot stop laughing:



Edit: Oh, my! We have another submission . . .