Was The Social Secretary On The Guest List?

Tense. But he never answers the question.

Fox 4 Sports Spelling Fail

From tonight's newscast.

Wishing Failure On The Evil Empire

Texas is a krillion point favorite to win the Big 12 Championship tomorrow over Nebraska and they probably will. But I'll never forget the first Championship game in 1996 which pitted those two teams against each other, but that time it was Nebraska that was the huge favorite. But with 2:30 left, Texas had a 3 point lead but was facing a 4th and 1 deep inside their own territory. You punt, right? When they broke the huddle to run a play, I remember jumping out of my seat and standing in front of the TV screaming, "You've got to be kidding me!" And then what would eventually become a youtube moment happened. Incredible. It's hard to tell, but the receiver looks up near the ceiling at the end of the run and then wraps both arms around the ball. It was the first time I had ever seen a player look at one of the big screen TV boards in the middle of a play to determine if he was going to be caught from behind. Anyway, I'm casting one of my spells on the Longhorns tonight. (Although I doubt if even that's enough to allow the Children of the Corn to score a single point.) Post Game Edit: Oh, my!!!!!! So close. So very close.

Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. That's who? "Pick Me Up" retracted!!! "Pick Me Up" retracted!!!!

We're Not Mature Enough To Handle The News

But the creativity of wise guys restores my soul.

Time To Resort To Moonshine

Link.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Devon shut down its Decatur Land Office yesterday. I've heard that puts about 20 employees out of work with many other contractors being hit hard as well.
• Saw a woman bring a self checkout line to a standstill yesterday as she scanned an item "just to see how much it was but I don't want it. Now I don't know how to get it off."
• Sarah Palin is in Plano for a book signing. People are in line at 5:00 a.m. I'm not saying a thing.
• Unemployment figures just announced show the rate has dropped from 10.5% to 10%. I told you boys to trust in Obama. The turnaround has begun.
• I've got a half marathon in a week and I actually ran 9 miles in preparation for it yesterday. It was cold. Very cold. And my leg parts hurt today.
• Jarhead posted a clip yesterday of maybe the strangest football play I've ever seen. And I've not heard an explanation as to what the heck happened.
• I wouldn't mind being under house arrest.
• I wouldn't mind being placed "on paid administrative leave."
• I point this out from time to time: The Morning News and the Star-Telegram have an agreement to share sports stories. But today I noticed that the Star-Telegram had breaking news that Nolan Ryan may still be in the mix to buy the Rangers. Is the same story in the Morning News? Nope, the ST put the story in Randy Galloway's opinion piece which is not subject to the sharing agreement.
• The Tiger Woods story is more proof that the privates are going to be the downfall of society.
• I knew two workers were hurt at Cowboys Stadium yesterday but I had no idea they slid 250 feet on the roof before being caught on a gutter. Oh, my.
• The plea offer in the drug case I wrote about below was 15 years.

35 Years

That's the sentence handed down moments ago by a jury for this woman who had been found guilty of possessing a little over 4 grams of methamphetamine in Wise County. Well, we know it was 4 grams of something that had a least some methamphetamine in it, but that really doesn't matter. The range was 25 years to Life because she had been sent to prison twice for drugs in the 1990s. There were no property or violent crimes in her past. Just dope. And probably the saddest thing was that she had no one come to court on her behalf. Not even a friend or family member to sit in the gallery as support. As her defense lawyer said, "No one cares about her at all." Edit: A faithful (and hawt) reader sends me this ironic headline from yesterday: "A U.S. federal judge sentenced a kingpin of Mexico's powerful Juarez drug cartel to 27 years in prison for smuggling at least 200 tons of cocaine into the United States, authorities said on Wednesday."

Ok, OK, I'll Post It

I can't count the number of people that have sent me this.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• The Swine Flu shot is now widely available to anyone in Tarrant County but that's not the case in Wise County. What gives?
• Dallas DA Craig Watkins was on the Colbert Show last night and actually said, "Being tough on crime does not work."
• Google has now improved its "music search."
• TCU's Gary Patterson signs a long term extension which is really pretty weird in this day and time. But after seeing what happened to his predecessor, it might be a smart move. (Dennis Franchione went from Alabama to A&M to Oblivion.)
• Some X tablets were seized in Sourth Texas made into the shapes of Homer Simpson and President Obama. The press and police are using the angle that they "were marketed towards kids." Puhleeze.
• Some lady gets sexually assaulted after midnight at one of those big public rest areas south of Fort Worth along I-35? I wouldn't go in those bathrooms in the middle of the day.
• And isn't there an old story of a former Wise County deputy being convicted of capital murder for a crime at the same place in the early 1990s? I think the conviction got reversed on appeal, but I don't know what happened after that.
• All women should be able to take this good of a book-in photo.
• The story of the genius kid going door to door offering free massages in Denton was everywhere yesterday. But everyone is more fascinated by the naive "victim".
• Speaking of dope, a Wise County jury will be forced to pick between 25 years in prison and life today for a lady convicted yesterday of methamphetamine possession. Incredible. I'll probably do a full post later.
• There was an all day hearing in a divorce case in the County Court at Law yesterday. That would be a beating.
• Anybody else Tiger-Wooded-Out? And, as predicted, the media ho lawyer for the first alleged affair gal is having a press conference today. Edit: OK, I'm at least interested in a bikini clad girl near his home being photo'd by cops.
• It's weird that it is going to snow south of us, but not on us, on Friday morning.

The Sonic In Jacksboro

Credit.

News On News

Let the word go forth, tomorrow (or sooner) the Messenger will report that this story was fabricated by the (at one time) alleged victim. Edit: Watch Channel 8 news tonight at 10:00 Edit: The video.

Food Stamps

New York Times interactive map here. 18% of all Wise County children use food stamps? And Jack County's use of food stamps has increased 162% in two years putting it 12th in the nation in increase usage? (Credit: Bud Kennedy)

And To Think All You Guys Were Hatin' On Same Sex Marriage

Hey, now. Edit: Photoshopped? It appeared on the Boston Globe web site. Still possible, but highly unlikely.

And We Call Ourselves A Super Power

Check out this Chinese news clip regarding The Tiger Woods Story complete with CG re-enactment. Now that, my friends, is the way news should be.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Snow? Incredible.
• Slidell ISD shut down (per Channel 11)? Double incredible. Edit: Until I drove in that stuff. Several cars in the ditches along 287.
• I'm hearing word that the Bridgeport robbery yesterday was a complete hoax. Developing.
• Ugh. 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan? Bad. But getting the heck out of there in a year and a half or so? Good.
• If you were foolish enough to send in money for Texas Rangers playoff tickets, chances are that you are finally getting a refund this week. And how do the Rangers make it up to you? By giving you for tickets to an exhibition game. That's a joke, right?
• My first week in January trip to Costa Rica is still a go.
• The dog pile of Tiger Woods begins (with yet another girl claiming an affair.) Why is it that the public just loves to run anyone out of town on a rail if given the chance?
• But the taped message of Tiger released this morning is not-a-good.
• Got word yesterday that a Bridgeport woman died in a crash in Granbury.
• Doesn't Kay Bailey Hutchison come across and weak and timid these days?
• They had Christmas Tree Talk on the Ticket yesterday. Things discussed: (1) good real trees cost over $100 (really?), (2) do you remember "flocked" trees, and (3) do you remember the cheap three color rotating floor light that would project green, blue and red onto the tree?
• I kept hearing "Sweep the knee!" in my head this morning.
• All of a sudden I'm recording most episodes of The Office that are in syndication. I've never seen 80% of them so it's like, uh, Christmas to me. Pretty funny stuff (and I really like the Indian lady.)

Is This Decatur This Morning? Why, Yes. Yes, It Is

Runaway Bay pic by MzChief.

Kardashian Pick Me Up