And The Aftermath

The conditions (as taken from my iPhone at 6:55 a.m.). Cold. Wind. Brutal. The bloody sock: For the last two weeks, I've developed this crazy problem of clipping my right ankle with my left shoe. It happened today causing the results in the photo. But I persevered. People are already saying it's the grittiest performance since Curt Schilling in Game Two of the World Series. The medal: Just like T-Ball, everybody gets one. My time?: I don't know yet. I was hoping to beat two hours flat, but it'll be close. I'll know later. Edit: Oh, no!!!!! Result: 2:00:15. (That was 128th out of 238th in my elderly old man's division.) Alvord resident Thomas Aaberg finished his first full marathon in an official time of 3:26:32. (That was 68th overall and 12th in his age division.) 18 year old David Cude of Decatur turned in a smoking 1:24:10 in the half marathon. If you ran and want me to post your time, let me know. I know Mrs. Jarhead was supposed to run the 10K --- I hope she wasn't delayed by serving him the mandatory Saturday breakfast in bed. Edit: Almost forget -- the iPod playlist:

Do You Know Where I Am Right Now?

Being an idiot at the start of the Cowtown Half Marathon. I suspect I'm freezing, rethinking my life, and having a tear roll down my very frozen Barry cheek. By the miracle of Google, I've set this post to automatically launch at 7:30 a.m. -- the same time that the race starts in downtown Fort Worth. The puppy? That's a metaphor for what my body thinks about me in light of what I am about to put it through. No funeral.

Bridgeport Sissies Audio Coverage

Starts at 8:30 p.m. This is very wheels off if you can hear it. http://www.ustream.tv/channel/focusbhs I may go to bed before the end of the game. I got get my run on tomorrow. Edit: Heartbreak City. Sissies lose in overtime, 71-65.

From A Comment As Seen On ABC's World News Tonight

"I am growing increasingly concerned about the government's spending money they don't have to overcome and economic problem caused by people spending money they didn't have." - BKM Spot on, bruther. Spot on. All politics aside (puuuhleeeze), I'm almost on the verge of raising my Economic Terror Level Warning to "Truly Frightened." I've never seen anything like this.

• California's unemployment rate reached 10% today.
• No one thinks Citigroup stock is a bargain at $1.50 a share.
• The Gross Domestic Product shrank 6.2% in the fourth quarter of 2008 -- the worst drop in 25 years.

Seminar Thoughts

• It's about jury selection.
• The lady sitting beside me has orange hair.
• A gal in front of me has the thickest country accent you've ever heard (and that's coming from me.)
• Criminal defense lawyers' are a motley crew.
• You can't go to a seminar without hearing how unfair Williamson County is.
• I'm the only one here from Wise County.
• There are two hot women in this room.
• I had to sign a statement that (1) I practiced criminal law and was not a prosecutor, and (2) I wouldn't distribute the materials.
• They had fresh fruit for breakfast.
• I'm keeping a list of things I've learned that I didn't know. (So far, I've got two. But it's early.)
• Lisa Blue is a speaker. (She's the recent widow of big time Democratic money man Fred Baron.) Edit: She just showed the dumbest movie clip of a trial scene I've ever seen. It was so obscure I have no idea what movie it was from. Edit #2: Good lord, she just talked about how proud she was to work under former Dallas DA Henry Wade. Trust me, in this crowd, that doesn't impress us. Edit #3: She's done. She had no business speaking at a criminal law seminar.
• I never wear my name tag at a seminar.
• Lunch is catered by Campisi's!!!! Pic (which doesn't show the garlic shrimp dish.)
• Just heard one of the hot girls on the phone. "We're thinking about doing an HH in the West Village later." Being bilingual and speaking a little Navajo, I think she's referring to a "happy hour."
• War stories from lawyers whip me. They never talk about their losses, do they?
• The HH girl has a raspy voice, is Catholic, is a public defender, a cusser, and kinda funny. She was complaining that one of her difficult court appointed clients had told her he wanted a "real lawyer." She said she was going to bring a "Criminal Law For Dummies" book to his trial to get back at him.
• Huge debate going on on whether it is unethical or improper to do the following legendary trick: During jury selection in a drug possession case, to have a potential juror reach under her seat to find a packet of cigarettes (or other prop) that you had placed there earlier (in order to demonstrate you can be in close proximity of something but not know it was there.) I really don't have a problem with that. One lawyer in the room claimed he got chewed out by a judge for doing it.
• We've got chaos breaking out with the following ethical hypo: Your client comes in, says he shot his wife with "this gun", puts it on your desk, and walks out. What do you do?
• Hot chick slipped out early.
• A lady beside me just made reference to a Wise County lawyer by name. I didn't chime in.
• A friend, knowing I was in a seminar, sent me an email. When I opened it, it had a very dirty word in two inch type. The sender thought that would be funny when I opened it up in a crowd.
• There's one lawyer in here who won't shut up. He needs to shut up.
• I wonder if the hot girl went to happy hour at 2:30?
• I failed to mention she was about four inches taller than me.
• Of all my many bad stock picks, I'm glad I don't own Citigroup today.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• New Wise County constable car is ready to roll.
• Our prosecutors went over to Jack County and tried to put the hurt on an alleged "rolling meth lab."
• I've been disappointed with Dale Hansen's series on the Cowboys and Jerry Jones this week. I just wish they would take 30 minutes and play Jerry's original press conference -- TV gold. (I actually posted a link to it online about a year ago, but now I can't find it.) Edit: My buddy Keith has it.
• I made reference to the Florida Keys yesterday. From Dale's interview with Jimmy Johnson, I learned that Jimmy's house is in Islamorada, FL. (Google map)
• I think a GPS device is good once you get in the general vicinity of where you need to go. But from 50 miles away, the thing wants to take you to Stephenville to get you to Dallas.
• That chunk of a metal wood chipper that went crashing through a lady's house is one of the craziest stories I've ever heard.
• News this morning that the government will now own 40% of Citigroup? Hey, that is nationalization. If you own 40% of any corporation you, if effect, run the corporation.
• I wonder how many people that say "the United States is the greatest country in the world" have never even visited another country?
• Continued lawyer carnage: One huge law firm laid off 190 attorneys today. I cannot imagine trying to get a job right out of law school right now.
• Speaking of, I'm in a seminar in Dallas this morning. Total. Beat. Down. But I'm sure this will give me some good material for later this morning.
• Edit: I am recording Megan Henderson's last day. I'll watch it tonight with big old Barry tears rolling down my Barry cheeks.

Journalism Death

One of my first experience with getting news online was following the JonBenet Ramsey story in the early part of 1997 on the web site of Rocky Mountain News. I was amazed at the coverage that I could get over the Internet. I was hooked. Relevance? Well yesterday, in perhaps an ominous sign of things to come, the paper announced that it would shut its doors today. Done. Completely. Oddly, it's web site contains a video of the employees getting the bad news.

A Faithful Reader . . .

. . . sends these pics tonight of a fire off Old Decatur Road about six miles north of, uh, Decatur. (Which reminds me, where is New Decatur Road?) He called it, "The Burning Bush." So everybody listen up, we will soon be released from our bondage. So let it be written . . . .

For All Readers From The Great White North

Current conditions at 4:29 p.m. Edit: But the forecast for my Saturday half marathon looks a little dicey. 20 mph winds at 40 degrees? Ugh.

Thursday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Meet Ashley Fuhrmeister

In reverse order: (1) Miss North Wildwood in 2007, (2) her mom and (3) her boyfriend. There's a story behind this involving a penny ante counterfeiting that got them all arrested, but I'm interested in the pictures. See something wrong here? That momma gave birth to that? No way. Clearly a case of mistaken identity. And that babe was dating that guy? Again, that's impossible in this world that God has so magically created. I suspect some type of Patty-Hearst-mind-melt thing going on. Everyone knows hot girls don't need to create fake money.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• In my best Seinfeld voice: "What's the deal with the weather?"
• I've got a seminar in Dallas tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to getting away and not talking to anyone for a day. But it will have Inkernet access.
• After three days of drinking Mr. Pibb Zero, I discovered I was drinking Mr. Pibb Extra. No wonder my teeth hurt and the spot in the parking lot where I poured a portion of one out is still there.
• News of the morning: American Airlines is to layoff 410 flight attendants, Zales will shut down 115 stores, and GM announces a fourth quarter loss of $9.6 billion. Get ready, people.
• Only Tiger Woods can get away with this cocky commercial.
• Time Waste: A list of 99 things you have seen on the Internet.
• I thought about going to the Florida Keys again, but I bet it is one humid place during the summer.
• Lubbock is a long way to go for a high school basketball game.
• Hal Jay bad joke of the day: "You know what Eddie Gossage should so to raise more money at the Texas Motor Speedway? Install toll booths on the track." [Insert wheeze laugh here.] [Insert my "kill me" comment here.]
• The frequency that I I hear the phrase, "You've got some scary people that read your blog": Often
• I've never understood why people, even 20 years later, say that Jerry Jones handled the firing of Tom Landry poorly. He bought the team from Bum Bright, Bright was about to call Landry, Jones told him no that it was his (Jones') responsibility to do it, then Jones flies down to Austin to tell Landry face to face. What more could he possibly have done?
• People are crazy.
• Just noticed that Voice Of The Previews Don LaFontaine, who is now dead of death, did not get a single mention at the Oscars. Those "commie, homo-loving sons of guns,"

Things America Socializes

For years, if anyone screamed "socialism" I was ready to grab my 12 gauge shotgun and prepare to defend freedom. And then, slowly, I began to realize how much socialism is already part of our daily lives. If we define it as the taking from all to be used for the benefit of all (a definition I just made up), then we have:

• Police Protection
• Fire Protection
• Sewer systems
• Water (with an added per use surcharge)
• Education of children
• Some college education
• Mail Delivery (with a small extra surcharge)
• Military Protection
• Transportation (highways, rail, bus)
• Bank failure protection (FDIC)
• Criminal justice protection (prisons, probation departments)
• Civil liberties protection (trial courts, appellate courts)

But we freak out if we add "health care" to the list? And I'm probably missing some. Edit: Sheesh. The first few commentors seem to discount the list with the rationale of "that's not socialism, those are things that government does." Uh, that's my point.

I Read Headlines So You Don't Have To

Today's Messenger vs. 1993 Dallas Morning News

A Faithful Reader . . .

. . . just sent in this camera phone pic with the title "Decatur - Jack In The Box Carnage." As far as the details are concerned, I don't have a clue. You guys get busy out there and tell us what happened. Edit: And before Lari Barager with Fox 4 News comes rolling up 287 like gang busters, I'm pretty sure the word "carnage" was a joke.

Yet Another Reason To Love America

Isn't it amazing how your eyes go to the headline, to the girl, back to the headline and then back to the girl? It's like studying a fine piece of art. Hey, wait. That headline means she's single! She's perfect for me!

An Olive Branch To All My Conservative Readers

I just received an animated GIF entitled "We Got Your Money!!" Link. Hey, even I think that's funny.

I Don't Think That Would Work Around Here

I've always thought it was nuts for the government to say, "Turn in your guns and we'll give you money." That's what going to happen in Dallas.