It Was Race Week In Texas

More here.

Edit: Some pretty funny ones here.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Wasn't there was a time when weekends were relaxing?
• Almost (?) had an incident with the Neighbor Boys on Saturday when their soccer ball hit our roof while I was getting in the shower. The last I know, Mrs. LL was headed out to the backyard battlefield as I preached nuclear restraint. I didn't even ask what happened.
• I kind of like being in bed knowing that a thunderstorm is on its way.
• But did you see the houses in Prosper that had a ton of windows shattered by hail -- hail that was still on the ground this morning when Fox 4 did a live report? Photo (wow.)
• We missed a certified letter for Mrs. LL this weekend. I fear the certified letter.
• I've yet to watch it, but Saturday Night Live did a bit about Fox and Friends on Saturday. 
• I think most of West Texas burned down over the weekend. 
• Alerted Mrs. LL that I had accidentally let some flying bug in the house last night. She told me "I'll get the bug zapper", disappeared, and then came back with The Family Cat.  I'll be. That thing is good for something. 
• When we had friends in from out of state a couple of weekends ago, they were much entertained when we drove by a liquor store and gun range in the same building off Northeast 28th Street in Fort Worth.
• The Federal Government Shutdown that was avoided on Friday was (still) much ado about nothing. It actually happened during the Clinton years and no one particularly cared. But for some reason this time we had Panic Mode television coverage with countdown clocks on every channel.
• Fox 4's Peter Daut caught some television gold at the NASCAR race with his man-in-the-crowd interviews (with one guy -- shirtless and wearing jorts -- being a cross between Kid Rock and Ricky Bobby.)
• Hanging out with friends on Saturday night when the female host suddenly, strangely and violently threw up. Many rushed to help her. I headed outside.  Edit: Nope, it wasn't alcohol induced.
• I won't say golf is riveting but golf was riveting yesterday when Tiger Woods roared to the top of the leaderboard at the Masters. And I managed to parlay that into an excuse to leave a kid's birthday party to go set the DVR. (But I had to come back. Pronto.)
•  But the guy who ultimately won the Masters is named "Charl" which prompted someone to write that a headline today should read "Charl's in Charg". One got close . . .

Men Will Be Men

Come on, so a couple of Texas firefighters hang a couple of nude pics up. What's the big deal? . . . . What's that you say? Pics of what?  Ohhhhhh.

Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Since everybody dogged me because of that chick from this morning.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• The entire city of Bridgeport was without power as of 4:30 a.m. and the situation hadn't changed as of 45 minutes ago (per the Update.)  You boys got your lights on yet? And what in the heck could possibly cause that?
• At least one local news outlet (KXAS) has a "countdown clock" for the federal government shutdown. Silly. Just silly. 
• Christie Brinkley at 57 is still a definite "Hey, Now."
• It can't possibly be true that the crazy Arizona Sheriff was in Austin yesterday to advise the legislature about a "tent city" jail. (Since I've followed his self-serving and redneck twitter posts, he's really risen very high on my Drives Me Crazy List.)
• The Ticket made a reference to Wise County and Meth yesterday. If I had to guess and the breakdown of drugs cases in the county, I'd go 50% meth, 45% marijuana, and 5% other. (It's incredibly rare to see cocaine, ecstasy, heroine, or the like.)
• And I bet 90% of the drug cases originate out of traffic stops completely unrelated to a drug investigation. 
• The amount of time that is spent cleaning inside a household is staggering: Whether it be dishes, counters, rugs, clothes, or the human body, that's a lot of time. 
• I heard about some officer in Mesquite pepper spraying a baby squirrel (yep, you read that right), but somehow I completely missed the video!  (Any bets the officer's report reads "The squirrel was not complying with my commands, made threatening gestures to such an extent that I feared for my safety and the safety of others, so I used reasonable force to obtain compliance.")
• Mrs. LL woke up early and completely screwed up my morning routine. 
• Hot sideline reporter apparently doesn't like fried food (and the cook looks like a young "have you seen my stapler" guy from Office Space.)
• The Texas House bans texting while driving but you would still be allowed to read texts and fiddle with a GPS device. Sounds like an enforceable law.
• And one lawmaker actually threw out the "if it saves one life" card. Hate that argument. I could advocate a law that requires crash helmets and flame resistant body suits while driving because it would certainly "save one life."
• FBI: The Vault looks interesting.
• I heard the Texas NASCAR race was moved to Saturday night so as not to conflict with the Master's final round on Sunday.  As odd as it sounds, I bet the average NASCAR fan is a huge golf fan. 
• Crazy story: A sex offender in Fort Worth facing new charges kills a homeless man and then burns him in his (the sex offender's) own  car in order to fake his own death. That is dark. 
• There should never be a remake of Arthur. And there definitely should not be a remake of Arthur starring Russell Bland. 
• Viral video from yesterday: Guy cleans Cobra Pit where he is surrounded by cobras looking at him like even they think he's crazy.

Happy Birthday to Gladiator's Maximus Decimus Meridius

Ladies, I bring you Russell Crowe. (And that's a pic from this week.)

Edit: Winner . . .

Texas DPS Surcharge Amnesty Deadline Is Midnight

If you have one or more of those double-jeopardy-double-punishment* surcharges assessed by DPS before December 31, 2008, your last chance to get rid of them for pennies on the dollar is midnight.  That includes surcharges for no insurance, no driver's license, DWI, etc.

The site. Go.Go.Go.
____________
*That no court has the guts to so rule

Does This Look Like The Face Of . . .

. . . a Virginia teacher who received 22 years in prison for ..........wait for it............sending a topless picture of herself to a 14 year old boy?

22 years? For that? Have we lost our minds? (And that's only after a judge knocked off 10 years from the 32 year sentence that a jury gave her in January.)

Story.

Edit: And after I posted this, the Star Telegram posts this story. And not only was it child porn, they were pictures that he took himself.

Edit #2: And another probation out of East Texas for a high school band director.

Live Tweeting From Trooper Graduation

Gives me goosebumps, too, but for a different reason.

(DPS Twitter feed.)

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

• Guy and girl run together at full speed.
• Holding huge balls that if contracted will certainly expand
• Hard floor
• Newton's Law Of Motion

Sounds like a plan. Roll the tape. 

Palestine Pro-Confederate Flag Rally Yesterday

My favorite screenshot from Fox 4 News last night as these folks argue with an African-American county commissioner about whether the Confederate Flag should be flown. (The guy whose face is partially blocked was talking loudly and pointing his finger.)

They look like an open-minded and compassionate bunch. I wonder who they voted for in the presidential election?

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Arianna Huffington of the Huffington Post ate at Joe T.'s last night in Fort Worth. No website fires off more blog posts on a daily basis than hers.
• Lake Bridgeport, which has seen a couple years of being full, is in a dicey situation as it sits at five feet low before a potentially long and dry summer.
• New kid in the neighborhood is an overtalker. Sweet kid, but she can extend an "Ok, we'll see you later" moment into an eternity. 
• That video of the 2 by 4 going through the car window (posted here two days ago) led Fox 4 news last night. Of course, they had to package it in a "dangers of debris on the road" news segment -- you can't just show a crazy video.
• "Maryland Man Superglued To Walmart Toilet As A Prank." The boys on the Ticket this morning wondered why he didn't carefully inspect the seat before sitting down since it was a public restroom. Fox 4's Lauren Przybyl told us that her mother taught her to "hover." It's been a very informative morning.
• I haven't heard what happened to the goofy "worst day of my life getting married tomorrow" guy. But you'd certainly think someone would track him down and interview him.
• What budget crisis?: Texas adds 44 more DPS troopers to the roads today.
• What's the world record for hitting the snooze button on an alarm. Someone in my house might have broken it this morning. 
• Two guys kiss in the crowd at Cleveland Indians game. (:17 sec mark). America goes crazy.
• The legal blogosphere has gone ballistic over a young lawyer who advertised himself as a specialist, had a misleading website, had his first trial (murder) stopped by the judge because he was incompetent (wow), and then proclaimed "Mistrial!" on his Facebook page as if he had done a good thing. 

From NBC News Tonight: Who Will Challenge President Obama

There's not a single one of the four that can win the Oval Office. Who else ya got?

• Romney is a Mormon, governor of State that had its own form of Obamacare, and had a video released yesterday showing him to be strongly pro-choice in 1994.
• Trump is a nut, a birther and probably just throwing out presidential aspirations to boost his silly TV career. But I support his running because that brings us one step closer to Idiocracy.
• Huckabee would win the conservative Christian vote (and those who are fond of Dad Jokes) but that's about it. 
• Gingrich is too busy writing books (17) and having wives (3).

The Story Of My House

Cute little dog wants to play a bit with the cat, and the cat has to go all Rocky Balboa on him. (Except my dog goes running like a school girl.)

The Politics Of Fear: It Lives!

Hey, I was all over the Bush Administration for pumping up the terror fear factor from time to time  in order to justify its "Do What We Want Policy In The Name Of Keeping You Safe".  And when The Obama Administration does it, I'll point it out, too.

Isn't that headline a coincidence? We bomb Libya two weeks ago and there's a little bit more of a backlash than the President expected. So what to do? Just float a couple of alerts out there about Libya being active evil terrorists. Problem solved.

And Then Comes The Fall

From being a Time cover boy as one of Fox News' hottest properties in 2009:

To today:

Not Sure What I Think About This

A ticket broker has a bunch of tickets stolen and now the Rangers have deactivated the bar codes on them.

I think a lot of innocent people are about to be screwed. I understand that if I buy a watch out of the trunk of a car that I should suspect it is stolen. But these tickets are likely to end up on Stubhub, eBay, and Craigslist where legitimate sales of tickets are resold every day. I wouldn't think for a second they are stolen.

So, in the end, isn't the thief going to get his money while innocent purchasers become more victims? And if the Rangers don't re-issue the tickets to the ticket broker (they wouldn't, would they?), they'll end up with empty seats instead of concession buying fans.

My Aggie Tribute